On the Tiber's shore

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HopkinsReb said:
I would MUCH rather have a Mass with no music at all than one with music that draws my mind to its poor quality.
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I may have to agree with that.
Pattylt said:
Offer it up?

I will comment that if a mother can learn to tune out the whining and crying of her children, I bet you could learn to unhear the bad singing? It may take time but sounds like it would be worth the effort to enjoy the full Mass!

I don’t suppose you wear hearing aides…they have volume controls…😂😂😂
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But, how can I participate properly in the Mass when I’m tuning out the music? Or is participation in the hymns not required?

Also, no hearing aides. Yet.
GraceJ said:
Well, there is the perennial “Offer it up”, which may sound trite but does mean something.
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It is perhaps my pessimism that I generally hear “offer it up” as dismissive, though I have been trying to correct this assumption. It is the how that gets me. I’ve heard the phrase before, but I don’t really know what it means.

Would praying like this constitute something close to “offering it up”: “My Lord, thank you for this (insert bad thing here). May what small suffering this causes me unite me to your Suffering on the Cross, that I may die to myself so to rise and live with you.” ?
GraceJ said:
Query: Are you educated in music? I.e., you actually know how to sing? Because if you aren’t educated or really picky, then being noticeably off-key is a problem for the entire congregation. On the other hand, if you are a good singer, then I would recommend volunteering to sing sometime (if you can).
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I only have a little bit of musical education: I sight-sung in choir a couple years in high school (I wasn’t taught any music theory and can’t read modern musical notation), I attended a workshop on Gregorian chant put on by a professor at the Seminary, and I had a class on Bach taught by the Cantor at the chapel on campus. Otherwise, I have no musical training, and am sure I would do just as bad, which is why I never volunteer musically—and feel it would be wrong of me to bring it up to the priest.

Also, I am able to tolerate a lot in terms of music where I have no control over it. I might not care for something or think something is a “best fit”, but normally I won’t complain and it isn’t a distraction in the moment. I may say that I would have chosen something different after the service, however.

I am more likely to complain about the translation of a hymn if I know the original language than I am the music.

Thank you everyone for your responses.
 
Donald_S

Daily Mass at St. Joe’s is generally 30 mins. sometimes quicker sometimes a little longer. The time is mostly on the money but varies only by minutes most days.
 
Whenever I’ve heard bad music at any church service I’ve been to (Lutheran, Catholic, Baptist) I always remember that the people singing are offering up their praise to God. Yes, bad or off-key music is a distraction, but i just always try to remember that the service isn’t about me, it’s about Jesus and the singers are praising Him just as I am.

Hope that’s helpful.
 
I can’t help you. I think I said upthread that one of the main reasons I waited so long to start the way home is music. Honestly, when the singing or the music or both are poor, I just clench my teeth and wait for it to be over.
(Organist and passable singer here.)

But I can’t see why there would be anything wrong with the Jesus prayer to help you through.
 
TNMan said:
Whenever I’ve heard bad music at any church service I’ve been to (Lutheran, Catholic, Baptist) I always remember that the people singing are offering up their praise to God. Yes, bad or off-key music is a distraction, but i just always try to remember that the service isn’t about me, it’s about Jesus and the singers are praising Him just as I am.
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Yes. Keeping this in mind is why I have been reflecting on it for a few days before I came here seeing if anyone had any suggestions on how to keep focus in the moment.
OddBird said:
I think I said upthread that one of the main reasons I waited so long to start the way home is music. Honestly, when the singing or the music or both are poor, I just clench my teeth and wait for it to be over.
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I’ll be honest. If I cared only about aesthetics, I’d probably be Orthodox right now, instead of Lutheran looking to come home.
Donald_S said:
Sing louder so someone else can share in your misery 😜
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😆 There are certain hymns where that may well be the case by default. “God of Mercy and Compassion” has long been my personal Act of Contrition, for example (apart from Ps 51 and the Prayer of Manasseh). I usually sing along with a recording of the Benedictines of Mary, Queen of the Apostles, though in a low bass. I’m a decent singer if I can sing with someone, but I’m like a drunk, wailing cat alone.
 
I think the youngest person is in her forties, but everyone else in our choir is about seventy. Their voices may have been good once, but they are fading.
We do have a guitarist and flute player, who both have wonderful voices when they sing, and a pianist who is pretty good.
But I can’t sing, so I’m not one to criticize them to our pastor, who also can’t sing.
 
Allow me to share an experience I had at mass on a Good Friday a couple of years ago at a different parish than the one I attend.

When it came time for the first reading, an old, dorky looking guy wearing an olive green suit from 1975 got up to read. He was very pious in his approach with his hands folded at his chest as he slowly walked up to read. His hair was white and combed forward. I thought, I’m sure he’ll do a great job.

He began reading, and by the time he was done, I could not tell you if he had stuttered, lost his place, mispronounced a word, had a voice crack, or any of the other things that usually happen to Lectors while reading.

It was like God was speaking directly to me. As if that part of scripture had been written just for me to hear in that exact time and place. It touched me on a deep, personal level. From that point on and for a while after mass, I was walking on a cloud.

This doesn’t usually happen, but when it does, it is amazing. I know it is not easy to overlook people who are singing off key, or kids who are crying, or whatever, but when you least expect it, you will notice or experience something extremely beautiful during mass. It has happened to me many times.
 
OddBird said:
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MiserereMei:
I’ll be honest. If I cared only about aesthetics, I’d probably be Orthodox right now, instead of Lutheran looking to come home.
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And I would be on my way to the Anglican communion. But I’m not here for aesthetics either 😉
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For some reason these two posts reminded me of the roman centurion asking Jesus to heal his servant. :pray:t3:

Peace be to both of you!!!
 
I’m SUPER excited for this Sunday. My wife is going out of town on Saturday for a work trip, so I’ll get to go to Mass at a normal hour. That means I’ll get to go visit the local Ordinariate Mass! Huzzah!
 
GladTidings said:
Allow me to share an experience I had at mass on a Good Friday a couple of years ago at a different parish than the one I attend.
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Just to clarify for the folks who are considering converting, you did not go to a mass on Good Friday. You went to a Veneration of the Cross liturgy. Mass is not allowed on Good Friday. I realize you probably know this, but I thought it would be good to point it out to others.
 
Thanks, I converted many years ago, but did not understand that. Still learning.
 
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I would like to ask for your continued prayers.

I think I mentioned somewhere I suffer chronic depression. It has been becoming noticeably more difficult to manage in the past week.

It is becoming harder to do my usual readings or prayers, as I quickly become discouraged. Sometimes I have only managed a single Our Father all day, and a couple partly-finished prayers. I am a week behind my Catechism reading, let alone everything else.

My wife tried to help, but she doesn’t know how to help when I can’t manage my own depression well (last time this happened to this degree was before we met). Unfortunately, work insurance doesn’t cover mental health services and, since I work retail and we are living almost paycheck-to-paycheck as we try to pay back her medical bills, we can’t afford professional help for my depression.

I don’t know what to say to her to help her help me. Nor do I know what can help.

It makes me ask myself “What’s the point?” of everything, including religion questions. Even where I intellectually know the point and have written papers on the issue in question. The only thing keeping me going to work and doing my job is the knowledge that if I don’t, my wife will suffer for it.

Sorry. And thank you.
 
Thank you, @(name removed by moderator) and @Cecilia_Dympna.

I had to look up St. Dymphna in my Lives of the Saints. I also recommended her to my brother, who also suffers depression. My wife and mother-in-law also suffer anxiety. I hope to become good friends with St. Dymphna.
Cecilia_Dympna said:
I am so sorry that you are in this awful situation; unable to access healthcare that you need. Are there any charities that offer counselling or therapy for free?
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I know there are a lot of charities in the area that help with financial needs. Only one that I know of might offer counselling of some kind. I will look up to see if they actually do. I’ll have to wait to make any sort of appointment, however, since my wife’s car broke down and she is using mine for the time being—a perk of us working opposite shifts, I suppose.

Again, thank you both, and @OddBird for the mention in the Rosary thread. At least this time, between my wife and all of you here, I don’t feel completely alone like I did last time.
 
GKMotley said:
Report back.
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Reporting back.

I attended the 11:00 Mass at the local Ordinariate Parish.

I have never loved being in church like I did that morning. I would have loved for it to go another hour (except for my poor knees, which are not used to kneeling; I have not regularly attended a church with kneelers in years.

But the incense, the chant, the reverence…it’s all the things I’ve been missing. It’s such an olive branch for the Catholic Church to allow converting/converted Anglicans to maintain our liturgy insofar as it is orthodox; there are few prayers as beautiful as Cranmer’s Prayer of Humble Access. It was so familiarly Anglican and yet definitely Catholic. It’s exactly what I was hoping it would be.

Too bad I won’t be able to make it to it on a regular basis.
 
I’m praying for you and for your wife. Is there any way you can fit some extra exercise into your routine? Walking is free and fresh air and activity may be helpful.
Of course, quiet time in the presence of the Blessed Eucharist as well. Some time enjoying the presence of Our Creator and the wonder of His creation.
May God bless you.
Amen.
 
Thank you.

I could walk more, I suppose. I work retail, so I assumed I’ve been getting enough exercise. I suppose walking outside, rather than in a store might be helpful.

I’ve been thinking of asking Father if I can come in on Friday afternoons and privately do the Way of the Cross.

Of course, I’m only leaving my apartment when absolutely necessary right now. There’s a terrible smell that hits me whenever I enter my building or leave my unit. It makes me dry heave. I’ve informed the office, but they’ve yet to do anything.
 
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