Porn is an addiction though. You can never stop being an addict, you can find alternative ways to deal with an addiction and to stop it, but that’s about it.
True, you never really “get over” addiction. However, some people become rehabilitated. They can avoid the source of their addiction, and go on to lead reasonably stable lives. Someone who graduates from AA, and is fully rehabilitated, will not drink again. (That doesn’t mean their lives are necessarily normal. They may have to put together shattered families, relationships, careers. It just means they are not drinking themselves into the ground, day after day.) And of course, even if someone is fully rehabilitated, there is always the chance of a relapse. Then the whole treatment and rehab cycle begins all over again.
LOL!
**Very well put, Joe. I think this is VERY important! Always keep in mind when in a relationship. I guess our culture has placed such emphasis on romance, that we color ‘becoming as one’ as a romantic image…it may not have been back in biblical times…maybe it was more of a commitment-social-clan type of thing to them. Who knows? Regardless, being in a relationship, even a very close one, does not mean that everything within ourselves stops being individual, such as self-esteem [which by definition must be individual], or character. Should someone’s character or personality change to mimic a spouse’s character and personality exactly? Surely not! Are they not “one” then? It is important to allow for God to work within a spouse on His own time, in His own way…He knows best! Even St. Paul had a ‘thorn’ that Jesus wouldn’t take away so that He would be glorified in Paul’s struggle and dependence. Looking at a potential mate in light of Jesus’ redemption, one must be able to cope with shortcomings as ‘God’s work in progress’…and as our personal cross. Surely each spouse has sins [or will acquire a sin inclination] that the other despises…naturally! The partnership should strengthen both to fight back!
I have to agree with you on this one! Both, the poster you responded to and Hildebrand, sound like Dualists to me…which is a heresy our Church has been countering for centuries. Evil goes like a pendulum, from extreme to extreme…be all spirit, be all flesh…never stopping at the middle point, where our nature happens to be…humans: body/spirit, social, sexual, mystical…all bundled into one…a masterpiece of the Creator that Evil wants to take apart…whether it’s one part or another…This is actually the saddest post in the entire thread, I think.
Our sexuality is a beautiful gift from God, not a chain! I hope you will see that one day…
It’s only a chain when satan gets ahold of it, but nothing satan can ever do is mightier than the sacrifice at Calvary. Please, please beg God to give you hope and bring you past the lust and addictions instead of attempting to destroy such a gift.
And I know not everyone is a fan of C West, but I honestly believe it’s because some people have either heard misrepresentations or are misunderstanding what he’s saying. Remember, he just faithfully repeats what the Holy Father gave us. He’s not some rogue theologian.
As for Alice von Hildbrant, I’ve listened to her. At least what I heard was very depressing to the point of sounding hopeless. When I listened to Alice, I felt like I was being yelled at for being a man. Talking about how all I was interested in was my “glorious orgasm” while the woman had all the pain. And that may be true in some men, but that’s all she was talking about. It’s like she was myopic on sin. She was just yelling about sin, sin, sin. Instead of proclaiming redemption, redepmtion, redemption as C. West does.
As I said before, I don’t need someone to yell at me for being a sinner. I already know that. I need to be reminded of Christ’s healing power and how I should be cooperating with it. Focusing on sin only separates us more from God. Satan wants us to focus on our sin and feel hopeless. We need to be conscious of our sin, for sure. But our focus and vision should be on the perfect and sinless image of Christ.
I’ll be praying for you, brother.
I’m not sure I follow this ‘males are ingrained to populate’ sort of idea…I think both males and females have to have the same urge or it wouldn’t work, right? From Genesis [which is quite old!] there was a man and a woman…each completing the other. [Even in cases where, like Abraham or Jacob, they had other women, have you ever noticed that it makes it clear that their wives gave them their maids, not that they took them themselves? Interesting, no? Until their wives gave the other women, they did not take them.]
You know I have thought about it a lot. I have really gone through a hard past few weeks with this. The first time I caught him because someone was uploading it from his limewire and naturally I was quite hurt and confused. I never had this problem before with any former boyfriends, but then again I wouldn’t have known anyway. Anyway he promised he didn’t need it and it wasn’t a problem he would quit. He did quit for a few months but fell back into it and I saw it on his recently closed links list when we were searching for something on his computer together. This hurt me so much because it hit me that this could be an addiction. And that I could never marry someone who had this problem. After 9 months of dating marriage was something we both were starting to seriously consider and talk about. I am 24 years old and I never ran across this problem before. It was such a shock because he has treated me far better than any guy I have ever met. He treats me like gold. I was ready to break up and I know that I am strong enough to do it if I have to. But I am not ready to give up on him.
Maybe you could suggest that instead of putting a program on his computer, he puts a picture of you, his girlfriend, on his desktop.
I thought I already covered that, ad nauseam:
I agree with you and Joe. And yes, it’s between your spouse and God to overcome such addictions. But it’s alot easier said than done to “not let it affect you” when it involves feeling cheated on and lied to. If the sin was …say…missing Mass on Sunday. That most likely wouldn’t be taken personally. But when it’s watching the one you love lust after other woman (in the real world or in pictures) thats a different story. And a much more complicated one. It does affect the other person which then affects the whole relationship.
Good for you. Just listen to God. My husband and I came from different backgrounds also. But God works in mysterious ways. Our marriage is a miracle in my eyes. The key was that everything centered around prayer. I prayed and prayed and prayed and made sure God knew that all I wanted was His Will. The Holy Spirit spoke through lots of people while I was praying and discerning marriage with him. I gave it to God and then listened to my heart.
Anyone NOT JUST MEN can get that feeling. I know that for a fact. But what about your conscience? Maybe I have an overactive conscience I would feel guilty after that time was over. So how is it PURE ANYTHING but selfish ? Think about the way you want to be viewed by your daughter and how she would think of you if she saw or found out. No wonder people are so messed up nowadays. Where is the HONOR? I don’t know you may be single and not have anyone who cares. But especially if are in a relationship you really have to stop and think about how to direct your energy positively.
Good catch, man. One thing I can add to this is that the world wants you to be natural, to surrender to your own desires because this world- especially here in the US- exploits a culture of immediate satisfaction. Unfortunatelly the devil supports this, for if one’s desires is opposite what the Lord wants, he or she will cast God aside and do it, henceforth mortal sin; 1 they know its wrong, 2 they commit the action, and 3 they fully intended it.
