Priest's greeting of lapsed catholics

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ConfusedLucy said:
I didn’t think you could start baptism prep until after the baby was born
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Uhh no.

You have to be pregnant and expecting a child but baptism classes even allow pre-adoptive parents to join…although many times the finalization means that even infants are several months old.

The church rules are clear. Baptism occurs ASAP. If the church mandated that classes could only occur after the birth of a child it would represent a potentially (sinful) delay of Baptism.
 
In our class we met with the pastor, watched a short movie as I recall. He asked us to each comment on something we learned from it. He then spoke about what baptism meant and what it would mean to us and to our child. I think it was also a way for him to get acquainted with the parent(s) of the baby. (Only one parent had to be present for the meeting.)
 
I know some parishes only do baptisms every couple of months so I’m guessing delays are normal even if it isn’t right
 
ConfusedLucy said:
I know some parishes only do baptisms every couple of months so I’m guessing delays are normal even if it isn’t right
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Yeah. That’s out of line with church teaching on Baptism depending on the circumstances. If it’s an overworked priest with thousands of parishioners who literally has no time to Baptize outside of a half dozen times a year…then it is what it is. That would fulfill the ASAP nature of Baptism. However, it seems that this would NOT be the case for most parishes.
 
To some degree, you are comparing Apples to Oranges. When parents approach the priest requesting baptism for their child, the Church is obligated and it’s standard procedure to lay down the expectations that the child be raised in the faith. It is possible that he could have welcomed them more graciously, but we have no idea on that because we were not there.

God Bless, and I hope you continue to post. Welcome to the forums. ☺️
 
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Frinders said:
My first post.

I have five children none of whom attend Mass, so they are lapsed catholics. Several years ago I was visiting my eldest child in Australia, and while there I attended Mass and got to know the priest. You might say he was chartismatic, I thought of him as friendly. After a few weeks my son accompanied me and behind his back I asked the priest to welcome him, which he did effusively. My son now attends Mass, he is chairman of the parish council and choirmaster. I love that priest!

Next my youngest son had a baby with his girl friend. Both are lapsed catholics. I said I would be very happy if they arranged for the baby to be baptised, and they said they would arrange it. They went to see the priest who seemed more interested in pointing out what was expected, rather than as I would see it, giving them the “Good News”. They left rather cross and have not been back.

Is there a format for the priest to follow? It could be said that they lacked the grace, and that number one son had the grace. From my viewpoint it looks like someone was prepared to make someone welcome and the other to generate a guilt trip.

If I appear a little cross, it is because I am.

Any ideas on how I can turn this round?

Frinders.
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Good news isn’t good, unless one knows their is bad news we try to escape from.

If one is only given good news, they are NOT being given the full truth.
 
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And we must remember what we want for our children, and what they want, can be quite different.

Turning back to God must come from the heart and soul. That can’t be forced.

We can only pray.
 
ConfusedLucy said:
I know some parishes only do baptisms every couple of months so I’m guessing delays are normal even if it isn’t right
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Our parish had the practice of doing baptism in the Sunday masses. It is such a short ceremony. Of course, you could ask for a separate ceremony.
 
Mine does too Rau, must be an Aussie thing.

To the op, have you heard about St Monica?

She prayed years for her son’s conversion.
 
Rau said:
Our parish had the practice of doing baptism in the Sunday masses. It is such a short ceremony. Of course, you could ask for a separate ceremony.
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I guess that depends on how many people you are expecting for the baptism.

If the mass on Sunday morning is already 90% + full, and a big crowd is expected to see the infant get baptized, that could be a bit of a problem.
 
At my church, they have baptisms during Sunday mass, but the church isn’t that crowded.

Don’t have that many baptisms anyhow, as the average age of parishioners is north of 50, people long past the fertile years.
 
Augustinian said:
I don’t think its likely the priest was really “rude”, but he didn’t handle it right if the people walked away alienated.

If you talk to people the right way, you can tell them “no” and they walk away with a positive attitude.

I know that some people can be difficult, and perhaps these young parents were. But even with difficult people, you can usually still have a positive experience even when the answer is “no”. Not all the time, but most of the time. After all, there are a few people out there that are totally 100% unreasonable.
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I would agree with you about people having positive experience even with a ‘no’ answer.

As for the issue here (I posted my opinion earlier on) I think the priest was explaining the technicality of the Sacrament. I hope you know what the requirement/procedure of Baptism in the church are. He has no choice but to do that, and the parents have to comply. Obviously it is not a straight road for the couple mentioned as they were not married. There are things that they have to do before the baptism of their child could take place.

As for talking to people, obviously it requires skill to generate the effect of ‘positive experience’ on them. However, you would probably demand too much from the priest. I think we often fall into this expectation in the church - the priest should do this and do that.

The minimum requirement of the priest is to explain what is needed to the enquirer, after which he can suggest on how to go about it.

Calling people rude can sometimes be subjective, though yes, there are such people. More importantly, did he explain to them what was required?

Anyway, that is not the end of the story for the OP’s son. They can always think about it, the parents pray for them, do the necessity and come back to the church. It is not as if they have no choice.

Ultimately we are accountable for our own faith and our salvation. Not the priest, not anybody else. They can help us and plant the seed but it is for us to do.
 
Tis_Bearself said:
In USA they also have done baptisms either during or just after the Sunday Masses, since I was small. It doesn’t take long.
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Old school baptismal fonts were located in the back of the nave, near the entrance. Symbolic as baptism is the way to enter the church.

Made having baptism during mass a lot less smooth.

Further, in traditional days, babies were usually baptized within a few days after birth. My mum was born on a Sunday in 1930, my grandparents took her to be baptized on Monday, and they took her to a nearby Polish church even though they weren’t Polish because their own church was too far away to take a newborn especially as they didn’t have a car.

No classes, no waiting.
 
Augustinian said:
No classes, no waiting.
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That’s still pretty much true I think. Pragmatic considerations typically mean mum and bub are not up and moving around town on the day after giving birth (may be they were made of tougher stuff in the early 20th Century?). I recall we contacted the priest (might have been before birth?) to arrange baptism, he took various details, agreed with us the date. No classes, but I think we met briefly with a sacramental (lay) minister who gave us some brief materials.
 
OP have you had a chance to discuss what happened in more detail yet?
 
In my part of the world I have never seen a Catholic baptism take place in a mass. It’s usually early afternoon after the Sunday mass. As it tends to be a big event with out of town family and friends there would definitely be difficulty cramming all these extra people into a normal mass.

As to the timing, I was told to wait until after my baby was born but I don’t know enough Catholics to know if that’s typical. The other reason I think why people would delay is waiting until important family and friends could be available to attend.
 
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