I’m curious, how fat is she? What is her clothing size? How much does she weigh?
Do you mean to say you have never heard the term ‘Trophy Wife’? That is wife #2. who is usually 20 or more years younger than wife #1. Wife #1 gets thrown to the trash heap of life after dear hubby tosses her aside for younger Trophy Wife. This is usually done by men who have had some financial success in the world and are looking for a partner that helps them feel younger at a time when they themselves are starting to bald, grow hair in their noses and ears, and sag here and there. They no longer appreciate wife #1 who helped them achieve their financial glory; instead, she is a reminder of their faded youth.
True, but deception is deception. You don’t owe to someone who deceives you to oblige you.
As a rule, there is merit in what you say, but things aren’t as simple as that most of the time. The way I see it, bottom line is people should expect from others more or less the same as from themselves, but you can’t tell people not to fall for those more attractive than they are (in many different aspects) and sometimes someone’s more attractive in one regard but less in another and the mean total is or may be more material than isolated parts.
Easy. With all respect, you might be judging a tad bit too fast. He didn’t expect more than he himself had to offer, so you have little right to blame him. You can complain all you want about a balding fat virgin chaser with a past full of immoral conduct, but you can’t complain about a guy who’s more or less in shape in this or that regard wanting to date a woman who’s in a similar shape in this or that regard. You’re fast to tell men to become more realistic, but you defy the same attempt - even a milder one, in fact - targetted at women, i.e. you criticise on a moral level and almost ridicule middle aged men for looking for a reasonably fit woman without much of a past, but you’re all revolting against the idea of suggesting to an overweight lady that she might stick with overweight guys. Why the latter does sound somewhat cruel (and my proposition is to allow people to choose on their own), there is a huge disproportion between the two.
On a different note, I’ve been referred to as good husband material with it being said between the verses that I wasn’t good for the “before”. The news flash is that that kind of logic doesn’t work with me, but that’s hardly any news anyway.
Well, focusing on career when other guys are looking for a wife kinda logically results in more career and less wife than other guys, doesn’t it?
The vast majority of middle aged men aren’t good enough to secure a Trophy Wife.
No, I’m against the idea that just because you’re fat (whether by 15 or 50 pounds), you shouldn’t even consider dating someone who is not. That is a bizarre suggestion. There are plenty of heavy people who are also physically fit, just as there are thin people who are not.
From what I hear from my attractive-but-with-baggage (read: children) girlfriends (whose husbands turned out to be scoundrels or not up to the challenges of marriage), most of the men they encounter while dating want sex within the first three dates, or it’s bye-bye! These are all great gals who keep fit, dress well, go to church, etc. There seem to be a lot of bottom feeders in the dating pool at this stage of life for both sexes, doesn’t there?
Yep.
Wow. Words just fail me.
I was kinda thinking the same thing…But she’s a really fun gal to be with so you’ve been stringing along this fat used up downhill loser whose done being an incubator, right? Why not just print out your comments here to thousands of strangers and show them to her. Bet you won’t need to worry how to break it off when she sees what you really think of her. So you pretend to be nice to her face?..
And you wonderful absolutely perfect people can find your equals. Because there are so many absolutely perfect people out there… wait… go join that thread of all the “nice guys” who claim they can’t find decent women. hahahahahahahaa
Heh, I am one of those in the last category, that is, I generally perform better than the typical man of the same age etc. range, but even though I can keep going despite coughing blood out should it come to it (yo, Doc!) and I’m reasonably good at pretending I’m not panting, there’s just a certain limit past which one doesn’t go. Does it make me a pansy? No, the opposite, actually. Does it make me objectively a man that won’t run a mile no matter what happens? Yeah, very much so. Conclusions are everybody’s to make on his own (or her own, for that matter). That’s kinda because attraction is a rather intimate matter and you just can’t force it with the force of a moral right. And people don’t really have a moral right to attract people they want. This is what I said in my last post or the one before: things don’t go as far as saying X people should only date X people, Y people should only date Y people etc. (that’s where I turned attention towards a certain mean total attractiveness, so to call it), and you can’t tell people not to be attracted to particular others. However, to demand a certain equivalence is not a bad thing and to forego attraction is a dangerous enterprise.
Of course it would be cruel. It’s enough to say there’s no chemistry or to say you don’t feel the certain thing without which you can’t go on (the “chemistry” line can be quite cliche). However, on the other hand, things like that could be told by the right people in the scenario, e.g. friends of the same sex - hearing it from an opposite sex friend or even relative might be too traumatising for a woman or a more sensitive man. However, overall, one’s probably better off going through a little trauma first but gaining the ability to deal with the problem in return. That’s generally how the whole education process works. We get a C, oops, we gotta work. We get a D, oops, we gotta work real hard. We get a B, hey, it work. We get an A, wow, it worked really well. Something of that kind. The thing is that in many cases, if no one will tell, the problem won’t go. So someone should tell, but preferably not a love interest, not an ex, not a could-have-been and so on.
People who want sex within the first three dates are everywhere in all categories. Clearly stating in a new mixed company that you agree with everything the Catholic Church teaches on sexual morality reduces your dating pool to near nil (I live in a Catholic country and it’s been suggested multiple times that with “my attitude” I won’t find anybody). Just don’t date people who want sex while dating, period. Find one of those somewhat bitter Catholic “old bachelors” who may not be the easiest to get along with in the beginning, but who will be on the same page with you (i.e. your girlfriends) regarding those things. They will just lack those certain charms of the guys who want sex (which charms might be there specifically to get sex).
Who are you kidding? You don’t get bullied into a relationship unless you have someone holding a gun to you head or otherwise threatening you.
No, not all fail, understand this please!!!Who are you kidding? You don’t get bullied into a relationship unless you have someone holding a gun to you head or otherwise threatening you.
You chose to be with that woman, and later came to regret it so it’s easy for you to think that she somehow forced you.
And fat people generally know they are fat and that fat is generally considered unattractive. You’d have to be deaf and blind not to know this in modern culture. Most of them are perpetually trying to lose weight (just look at the money the diet industry makes each year) and perpetually failing.
Again, too fast to judge, I believe. Being nice is a matter of courtesy, and is not always double-faced, or even pretended. He’s dealing with a problem that is important, i.e. attraction, and it’s people here that wanted to know what the problem was (and I knew that the moment he would say it had to do with weight, problems would start).
Agreed. One very good thing about people with experience is that they have a bigger imagination, so to say, and they don’t expect you to be perfect, or grind you in the mill of schedules, comparisons, rights and expectations - even if they can be a bit unstable at times for reasons you did not cause.
Erm. That wasn’t nice.And you wonderful absolutely perfect people can find your equals. Because there are so many absolutely perfect people out there… wait… go join that thread of all the “nice guys” who claim they can’t find decent women. hahahahahahahaa
I believe he’s made it clear it’s not the baby weight - he’s made it clear it’s fastfood and sedentary lifestyle, which is one of the diseases of our modern civilisation.
Again, he shouldn’t be an answer to her problems just like she shouldn’t be one to his, on which latter point we’d probably agree. Instead of more of me talking, let me give you what dulcissima wrote:
Which I agree with. Yup, dood, don’t play the game they make you play just because you want to be a gent. Relationships are to be freely entered into, not forced out of you via the force of facts. I believe some of the ladies here would have plenty of problems with you claiming a girl, introducing her to your children, if you had some, or say, your parents, pressuring for intimacy… and eh, if you weren’t in a top shape, that would also likely be charitably pointed out to you. Folks. let’s get some fair standards here. The OP made some mistakes, but I don’t believe a woman asking for advice would get near as much thrashing as he did. Yes, the “damaged goods” line of thinking isn’t the most charitable one, but it isn’t a product of an evil, greedy mind, nor is it evil to want to date someone who’s more or less on the same page with you on matters of lifestyle, attraction etc. I’m not blaming the woman in the sense of fault, but when you move too fast, try to advance the relationship by way of facts and so on, then you leave no room for the prospective mate to let you off gently. That means it’s going to hurt. Been there, done that.
Are you telling us that the women who stay with abusers, despite the lack of a gun or equivalent device, aren’t bullied into a relationship? I don’t think that proposition would survive five minutes here without getting burnt to the ground with proverbial napalm.
That’s possible, but I don’t think the facts here clearly support that conclusion. On the other hand, I think they tend to speak in favour of the conclusion that she came down too hard, i.e. falling fast and creating some facts to secure her find - basically an obsessive pattern. It’s not a matter of guilt, it’s a matter of it not being a good basis for a relationship.You chose to be with that woman, and later came to regret it so it’s easy for you to think that she somehow forced you.
What did she do? Sit on you? Just because your relationship with a fat woman didn’t work out doesn’t mean all fat women are emotionally manipulative. There are plenty of slender gorgeous women who capable of being emotionally manipulative as well.
.)Ailina beat me to it.
