Should I forgive someone for something they did to hurt me even if they aren’t sorry for it?

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Is that really what Jesus said? Somehow I doubt it. Jesus even said we should forgive our enemies, going beyond the teaching of the Hebrew Bible, which says we should not rejoice in our enemies’ defeat.
 
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meltzerboy2 said:
Is that really what Jesus said?
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Yes.

Note the if.

Take heed to yourselves; if your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him; and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, and says, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.”
Luke 17:3‭-‬4 RSV-CI
meltzerboy2 said:
Jesus even said we should forgive our enemies
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No. He says we should do good to those who hate us.
 
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In analyzing biblical verses, as I’m sure you know, you need to look at the context of the verses that precede and follow, the historical context of the verses, the literary style of the verses, and so on. But since I am not Catholic, I’ll (conveniently) leave the hard work of doing this to some of the learned Catholics on the Forum.
 
Julius_Caesar said:
If they ask.
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We’ve been over this too, mostly because Jimmy Akin has taken that position, which I think is in serious error and not one of his good moments. There are plenty of other apologists over the centuries who did NOT take that position. My models for forgiveness are actually a Protestant (Corrie Ten Boom) and a Jewish lady (Eva Kor) and neither one of them said, “I’ll forgive the Nazis…if they ask.” They just forgave.

I take the position that Jesus didn’t say “if they ask” and that since forgiveness is largely for the good of my own soul, it is not spiritually helpful for me to withhold forgiveness from people who don’t ask, maybe because they don’t realize they did anything hurtful, maybe because they’re dead. I forgive them, I pray for them anyway, and I believe that’s truly following the commandment of Jesus to “Love my neighbor”. I don’t want to stand before God at Judgment Day saying, “I didn’t forgive so-and-so because he never happened to ask me, so I still have a grudge against him.”
 
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meltzerboy2 said:
In analyzing biblical verses, as I’m sure you know, you need to look at the context of the verses that precede and follow, the historical context of the verses, the literary style of the verses, and so on
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And who’s to say you don’t need to do this since you quoted a passage out of thin air?
 
Did not Jesus say to forgive our enemies, or did I get that one wrong? Besides, do you really want to make an issue out of my possible mistake, one of so many in my life?
 
Julius_Caesar said:
Believe what you want. That will not always match up with Divine instruction.
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What is God going to do, punish me because I forgave a guy I didn’t need to forgive? Because I loved my neighbor more than I should have according to you? That doesn’t even make sense. Muting now. Bye
 
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Even if you are technically correct and I appreciate the information, your tone does not seem to me to be one of charity. Got up on the wrong side of the bed today?
 
From what I’m seeing, charity is lacking in you and your compatriots response.

Those on the position of unconditional forgiveness automatically assume everyone who doesn’t hold to their position has hatred and holds grudges against people. It is arrogant to say the least.
 
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Yes, you should. This is how. Depending on the situation, some of those steps will take time. But it’s important to keep working at it.
 
‘Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven’ - Luke 6:37
 
Take heed to yourselves; if your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him; and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, and says, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.”
Luke 17:3‭-‬4 RSV-CI

 
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I had the same doubts. And then, when I chose to embrace Christ Jesus, I realized that I will and I must forgive the wrong-doers. At first, it wasn’t really “forgiving” because I couldn’t bring myself to talk to them; I could still feel my heart being “hurt”.

But after many prayers to the Lord asking Him to open my heart, I felt that I was actually ready. I talked to them without harbouring any resentment or animosity. I forgave them wholeheartedly (of course, I didn’t say it aloud " hey, you’re forgiven"). It felt like I had removed a huge burden off my shoulders (as well as my heart). Even so, after a certain period, the people in question started the same hostile attitude. It hurt me greatly. Although, I prayed to our Lord to give me humility and forbearance, I felt like it was time to entirely cut them off from my life. I’ve forgiven them, I still pray for them but I don’t talk to them anymore. It only produced negative vibes.

So, from my experience - I’d say, don’t just fake up forgiveness in the name of Jesus. That would be a disgrace to His name ( forgive without measure as the Lord did) ; pray constantly for His guidance. I assure you, you will “feel” the readiness to actually forgive from the bottom of your heart without a dust of resentment remaining.

P.s - Also, keep praying for them. I do. I had posted a similar question many posts ago, and I was advised to pray for wrongdoers. After I was able to forgive them with a pure heart/intention, praying for them wasn’t difficult and now, it’s become a daily routine.

🙂🙏
 
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