Should I marry a non-catholic or be single forever?

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TC3033 said:
Yes, you are. We’re able to identify and grow upon the mountain of similarities that we have rather than be pulled down by the few differences.
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Well that’s not actually the way you said it so you might want to revise that.
TC3033 said:
Go for it, and I (and others) will continue to chime in and dispel the stereo-types. I’m not the only person in this thread to do so.
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Oh come on, we’ve already done this. Stop hijacking the thread. We’ve moved on to a different topic relevant to the OP’s actual question.

And stereotypes exist for a reason. Usually there’s some truth to them.
 
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AdamP88 said:
Usually there’s some truth to them.
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I’ll go ahead and bold this. Just because there’s some truth doesn’t mean that’s the way it always goes (or if it’s even the majority).
 
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Ah look. You have a good mixed marriage. I get it. That doesn’t mean it’s something all Catholics should aspire to or even think is a good idea.
 
And it’s not something they should think is going to be a disaster right out of the gate either… 😉
 
I am a Catholic convert. I married a Catholic. I had no interest in the Catholic Church when I married her. Years later I started realizing the Catholic Church was the true Church and converted. My wife never once pushed me to convert either.

Just find someone who is OK with you practicing your Catholic faith. Let God do the rest.
 
Fair enough. But I would say it’s certainly something to be cautious of. Especially in the case of the OP where she has expressed a strong preference and really would probably be “settling” if she married someone of another faith.
 
MarkRome said:
Just find someone who is OK with you practicing your Catholic faith. Let God do the rest.
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Not sure that’s necessarily a good thing either. I mean of you have a very strong preference for marrying a serious Catholic, as the OP expressed, as I said above, would she really be happy settling for less than that.
 
Well…she could have another crack at a Catholic dating site, this time with a paid subscription. And attempt to weed out the fakes.
 
I am not saying that you are called to the monastic life or anything like that, but don’t give up on retreats! There are many different styles of retreats and it is not a one-size fits all kind of thing. I went on a silent ignatian retreat when I was 19 and I didn’t like it at all. Felt like a failure. But since then I have been to several retreats (non-silent) and they all went much better.
 
I won’t make this long, but I once thought those were my only two choices as well.

I dated a few non-Catholics who weren’t that great for me, and thought I would just have to settle. Fortunately I prayed on it and waited and waited. It was hard to be patient. But eventually God brought me the man that was meant for me!

He’s not Catholic, he’s actually Eastern Orthodox. Our beliefs and values are similar enough that it works. Our views outside of religious views are also very much the same and we have very similar ideas about our future and where we would like it to go.

TRUST God that if he is drawing you to this vocation, that he will lead the right man to you as well. Have faith!! (:
 
DivineMercy01 said:
This is going to sound superficial, but the demographics of what I can be attracted to are very limited. Not because I’m superficial, but because of science. I’m a tall woman (179 cm). I’m very athletic. The demographic of body types I can be physically attracted to is limited. Furthermore, I have a strong personality and there are certain personalities I don’t jive with (one man in my parish is one of those I’M HERE people). I can’t explain it, but I’ve always had a thing for melancholics and phlegmatics, sometimes with choleric tendencies. Needless to say, the total of two men I know of in my area are not ones I’m attracted to and I can’t make myself attracted to anyone.
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I don’t think it sounds superficial at all. And yeah, you can’t force yourself to be attracted to someone. But it sounds like you’re being a bit fussy. I’m not saying you have to go for the balding, chubby guy, who’s five foot nothing, but you shouldn’t be so set on your physical requirements that you rule out people who you might get one excellently with in marriage. While I would say to be totally inflexible on the Catholic only rule, I would say you can be a little flexible on specifics of physical appearance.
Most people do have an ideal of the person they’d like to date, but most people also realise that a little flexibility on this is prudent. Again, not saying you have to date someone you find repulsive, but it might be worth thinking about giving a chance to someone who isn’t quite your “type” but is pretty close.

I also wouldn’t put too much focus on set “personality types”. These are rarely so textbook that someone fits them exactly. Sure there might be certain traits that repel you and that’s fine, but it’s worth being open minded on this.
DivineMercy01 said:
And finally, I would like to remind everyone on this board who are going back and forth about Catholicity being “binary” that just because someone ATTENDS a Catholic church does NOT mean he is Catholic in lifestyle. I’ve been Catholic for 28 years and I’ve met PLENTY of Catechists who think it’s okay to fornicate, Eucharistic ministers who say they want to get married but don’t want children, regular volunteers at church events who think cohabitation is okay. No bueno. My future spouse (if he exists) will love the Church and defend ALL of her teachings, not just the ones that are convenient.
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Absolutely agree 100% and I was the exact same in this regard. I think you’ve answered your own original post question here. I know that I’d prefer to be still single than have married a woman who wasn’t as Catholic as I was. (Though my wife is a convert so she may even be more Catholic. 😉 )
DivineMercy01 said:
I guess it’s just that I know what I want and I haven’t found it yet. Doesn’t help that I live in a town of 71000 and don’t ever travel anywhere 😉 I hope this answers your question.
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Maybe it’s time to start travelling so 🙂
 
TheLittleLady said:
Yes, there are Catholics who commit every sin in the book. They are still Catholic. If you want a Catholic who never sins, then, you will not marry anyone because He is not available.
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I don’t think it’s about finding a sinless Catholic.

It’s about finding someone who holds the same values you do.

I for one wouldn’t fall for a Catholic who finds nothing wrong with fornication or watching porn.

That doesn’t make my standards unattainable.
 
I personally wouldn’t rule out a Non-Catholic.

I could see myself marrying a high church Lutheran or Anglican.
 
AdamP88 said:
This is something I see quite often on these threads. Young women who are, for whatever reason, afraid of online dating. I’m not sure why this is, maybe it’s to do with meeting strangers off the internet, but I feel that probably more men are actually actively on Catholic dating sites looking for a spouse, so it is a possibility. In my opinion, you can’t complain about not having met someone if you’re not prepared to be open to all the possibilities. Lots of people meet online. I met my wife online. On this website, totally not expecting to meet a wife at all. It’s quite normal in this day and age, and should also be safe with sensible precautions.
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It’s probably just a stigma about how many good ones are already taken up before they make their way onto a dating website (I.e, the assumption that an attractive independent man/woman would have better luck dating in normal life instead of going onto dating sites). And to be fair, there is some truth to that. I can’t imagine a young man on a dating site unless it’s tinder!

This I’m guilty of, but some people enjoy a more romantic or even casual encounter with their future spouse instead of immediately resorting to online dating
 
I am not telling her that she should do the same as me.

Just telling her about what I would do.
 
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