Should I marry a non-catholic or be single forever?

[Batman2.0]

You should seek marriage. If your heart calls you to a non-Catholic you can always be such a great example for your husband that he converts just for you.

I say go for it. Even if you can’t convert your future husband you can always baptise your children.

The father is very influential in the faith of the children. The purpose of marriage is to get each other to heaven. With all due respect, a Catholic man has a better chance of getting his spouse and children to heaven than does a non Catholic.

 

[AdamP88]

I can’t imagine a young man on a dating site unless it’s tinder!

I was on catholic match for a while. And I considered other catholic platforms too. But I ended up meeting my wife through this site in a rather random manner.
A lot of guys are serious about finding a Catholic spouse. But it’s actually quite difficult because firstly you have to filter through all the cafeteria-catholics, catfish, and losers…and find the ones who share your faith, where there is a mutual interest, and some sort of physical attraction. I mean, I looked at messages from women on Catholic Match and sometimes I’d just think “I’m sorry but I just do not find you attractive”. Other times she might be attractive but then mentions something about not necessarily agreeing with such and such aspect of Church teaching.

It is difficult for a committed Catholic young person to find a marriage partner. There’s no denying that.

That said, I do believe the online platforms are possibly worth it if you are prepared to be patient and open minded, and put the effort in.

 

[Sarcelle]

I have read that father are more influential on the religious choices of their children than they’re mother.

My mother, a devout Catholic married my father who was an atheist.

I ended up being raised atheist.

 

[TC3033]

FrancisFan43:

You should seek marriage. If your heart calls you to a non-Catholic you can always be such a great example for your husband that he converts just for you.

I say go for it. Even if you can’t convert your future husband you can always baptise your children.

The father is very influential in the faith of the children. The purpose of marriage is to get each other to heaven. With all due respect, a Catholic man has a better chance of getting his spouse and children to heaven than does a non Catholic.

Wow…just wow.

 

[VanitasVanitatum]

Yes, there are Catholics who commit every sin in the book. They are still Catholic. If you want a Catholic who never sins, then, you will not marry anyone because He is not available.

There are obvious levels and differences that can indicate whether someone is suitable for marriage or not.

 

[PatK63]

The way you phrased you question at the end. Yes you can wait. You can also look for a mate while waiting. Inter religious marriages can and do work. The main thing is to decide if you can respect each other’s faith!

 

[DivineMercy01]

Amen. @TheLittleLady Want to know something about me? I sin every day! The differences between me and a “Catholic” who actively and knowingly lives a lifestyle that violates Church teaching are that

1. Despite my imperfections, I am STRIVING for virtue
2. I have the prudence not to put myself in situations that could be a near occasion of sin

I know myself well enough that I need to spend the rest of my life with someone who knows the Church’s teachings and lives them.

 

[DivineMercy01]

uck.

@JimmyTolder Again, wealthy and able to provide are different. There are many ares of one’s life that make one able to provide (work ethic, fiscal responsibility, people skills) whereas wealthy is a quantitative feature.

In fact, I know some very “wealthy” heirs who squandered their inheritance due to lack of work ethic and money management.

 

[DivineMercy01]

It’s probably just a stigma about how many good ones are already taken up before they make their way onto a dating website

I don’t think that stigma exists anymore, especially with young Catholic professionals. There just aren’t a lot of us, so the internet is the only way for us to meet people. Furthermore, the internet is a more socially acceptable for all people to meet, as we are always on our phones. > Blockquote

 

[JanR]

If you do decide to do online dating, be very, very careful. What you see online isn’t always what you get.

 

[DivineMercy01]

My exact words were “able to provide and finances in order.” At no time did I specify income level. I also did not say anything about “Comfort”-which is relative, based on your lifestyle. There are certain fields of work where entry level actually pay six figures, as well as the fact that the average college graduate makes 48K right out of the gate. I also did not specify that I was limiting to under 35.

What I dislike about your “wealthy” assumption is that it assumes an extravagant lifestyle. I am in no way extravagant.

 

[AdamP88]

Wow…just wow.

Sorry but it’s true. If you believe that the Catholic faith is the way to heaven, and you believe that marriage is a sacrament and vocation, which is supposed to lead you to heaven, then obviously a Catholic spouse is more likely to actually do that.

 

[AdamP88]

I have read that father are more influential on the religious choices of their children than they’re mother.

My mother, a devout Catholic married my father who was an atheist.

I ended up being raised atheist.

Yeah statistically this is true. But only under specific conditions. Apparently if the father attends regular religious worship, this is the single biggest indicator that the children will grow up with religious faith, according to some studies. It doesn’t specify what religion and I’m not sure if there has been a study like this done with Catholics.

 

[TC3033]

Sorry but it’s true. If you believe that the Catholic faith is the way to heaven, and you believe that marriage is a sacrament and vocation, which is supposed to lead you to heaven, then obviously a Catholic spouse is more likely to actually do that.

And I’m not sure it’s a broad statement that can be made. Like I’ve said, I’ve seen a many Catholic fathers that aren’t even a little bit active in their family (especially their children’s) faith life… Like I said about broad statements…

 

[DivineMercy01]

Edit: at the risk of being rude, exactly what do you bring to the table for this hypothetical man? He is tall, good looking, has a good income, and is devoutly Catholic. You’re talking about the most desirable men in the world for young Catholic women. You might want to ask yourself what about you is going to equalize the equation, when this hypothetical man isn’t a beggar, but a high-level chooser.

First, I’d like to point out that you are putting “good looking” in my mouth as I don’t think I said that. I simply said I had to be physically attracted to him. Someone on this thread asked why I’m not interested in the men in my town. I simply answered: I’m not attracted to them.

Since you are asking what I bring to the table, I will tell you: I am the hardest worker I know. I wake up at 4:00 in the morning so that I have time to pray Lauds before I go teach my group exercise class, before going to my 8:00 to 5:00 job. I work as an undergraduate academic advisor at a large state school (a highly coveted gig in my town) which I obtained with the Master’s Degree I completed in sixteen months while working full time. I also teach ESL Classes online on the side. I fiercely love the Lord and dedicate a great deal of my time to the church. I attend mass daily if possible and serve as a leader in several apostolates at my parish. I know I would be an incredible wife and mother.

I feel like I can say this on the internet because I’m never going to meet you, but frankly, I’m amazing. I don’t see myself with someone who isn’t the same.

 

[AdamP88]

He is tall, good looking, has a good income, and is devoutly Catholic. You’re talking about the most desirable men in the world for young Catholic women.

I hate to tell you this…but I’m already married.
I’m a great cook too.

 

[AdamP88]

And I’m not sure it’s a broad statement that can be made. Like I’ve said, I’ve seen a many Catholic fathers that aren’t even a little bit active in their family (especially their children’s) faith life… Like I said about broad statements…

Assuming the way to heaven is the Catholic faith, which Catholics are required to believe, by the way, how can a non-catholic who doesn’t believe that help get his kids to heaven?

 

[aroosi]

Me, me, me…

Honestly, no matter how awesome you are, in a relationship you need to make some space also for the other person.

 

[DivineMercy01]

Irrelevant as you don’t want to work. Girls never seem to understand this basic fact. If you don’t work, then your degree is worthless.

Not true for two reasons

1. A degree does more than provide a job-makes you a better human (and a better homeschooler)
2. If something were to happen to my husband I would need it

That’s cool, but not necessarily as big a deal as you might think. It also further limits your pool of potential mates.

I think by limits you mean limits to Catholics, which I have already stated is a dealbreaker for me.

Annnnnnnnnd there it is.

If you don’t want to know why I think I’m a catch, next time don’t ask

 

[TC3033]

I didn’t think it was Catholic teaching that the only way to Heaven was via the Catholic faith…eitherway…
I can help my kids get to Heaven by being there for them as a father, as a role model, being the parent that attends the parent night of catechism classes, make sure they get their work done, make it to Mass on Sunday, etc… I’ve actually seen this a lot with the “mixed” marriages in our circle.

That’s a lot more than some Catholic dads that I know… If that doesn’t help, but marrying a marginal/non-practicing Catholic does more…then I guess my spouse and kids are in trouble.