St. Monica pray for us! Praying for our husbands....

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mom4truth said:
Trishie:
That was beautiful! It brought tears to my eyes! I will keep you and your husband in prayer!

Keeping everyone in prayer on this thread! Lord, Have Mercy On Us!
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Thank you. You really are a very warm person!
Do you think we can bring ‘tears’ to God’s ‘eyes’ too, so that He can’t help but grant our prayers, like a mother? I hope.
We mothers would do anything for the people we love, if we could. And we feel that bond with each others as wives and mothers and want everything good for each other. We want to comfort and reassure and help each other, and laugh together, and fix each others’ problems together. There is a yearning, and when one of us is unhappy, we all hurt.
 
Trishie:

I definitely think we can bring tears to God’s eyes - especially Our Lady’s eyes. It’s so nice that all of us women stick together and really care about each other like you said. We want to “fix” everything and make everything better! I want us all to be happy and loved and to love. I hope you have a good day, Trish! Many, many blessings to you!!

Much love,
 
My children are very confused that things like this still happen.
That mamma can not drive and has to pullover so she can get
herself together, the crying is so cnstant, and came from out of nowhere.

My nephew asked, "why don’t you ever take this route (and he pointed) as we passed a road that would directly take you to the local University called Brock. For 6 years i heard nothing but pending dreams fall from my sons lips about going there, and becomming a teacher.

How could i say, “I do not want to go down that road”. It is a long, beautiful drive, with very little but country fields and blue skies. Many times i traveled that road, and heard my son plan out his courses and his dreams, and what life might bring before him.

I lost it crying and said, because i simply can not imagine that road without Will sitting beside me…!" All i can think about is everything he dreamed of and did not get to accomplish dieing so young. I simply want him back, and i know i never will.

You can tell yourself, and educate yourself, and know he is with us, and i will be with him some day, but my Baby Boy is gone, and i do not have him to tuck in, to hug, or to know he was the ONLY one i truly knew loved we unconditionally, and with every fiber of his being.

I am a wreck, a house full of company, and in the middle of a move…everything seems so…unfinnished, and incomplete. I just wanna go crawl into bed, and go to sleep…but there would be no one to take care of the children, or the company.

This shall pass, but untill then, please help me with a little prayer.

Thank you girls, i am praying for you as well.

Lana
 
Rammy said:
My children are very confused that things like this still happen.
That mamma can not drive and has to pullover so she can get
herself together, the crying is so cnstant, and came from out of nowhere.

My nephew asked, "why don’t you ever take this route (and he pointed) as we passed a road that would directly take you to the local University called Brock. For 6 years i heard nothing but pending dreams fall from my sons lips about going there, and becomming a teacher.

How could i say, “I do not want to go down that road”. It is a long, beautiful drive, with very little but country fields and blue skies. Many times i traveled that road, and heard my son plan out his courses and his dreams, and what life might bring before him.

I lost it crying and said, because i simply can not imagine that road without Will sitting beside me…!" All i can think about is everything he dreamed of and did not get to accomplish dieing so young. I simply want him back, and i know i never will.

You can tell yourself, and educate yourself, and know he is with us, and i will be with him some day, but my Baby Boy is gone, and i do not have him to tuck in, to hug, or to know he was the ONLY one i truly knew loved we unconditionally, and with every fiber of his being.

I am a wreck, a house full of company, and in the middle of a move…everything seems so…unfinnished, and incomplete. I just wanna go crawl into bed, and go to sleep…but there would be no one to take care of the children, or the company.

This shall pass, but untill then, please help me with a little prayer.

Thank you girls, i am praying for you as well.

Lana
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Praying for you Lana. God will give you strength. Pray to Will and ask him to ask Jesus to be with you now. Look to Our Lady for consolation, she knows the pain of loosing a Son. God bless you.
 
Dear Lana,
You are going through a VERY rought time. Please hang in there. This, too, shall pass. I will keep you in daily prayer, hon! God bless you and have mercy on you.

Much love,
 
I have read many of the posts of this thread, since I joined the forum this past Feb. 4. and I apologize in advance if I repeat any threads already on here. There is so much to read, I don’t know how I could cover it all and I need some (name removed by moderator)ut. As hard as I try to be patient and kind with my husband, calling on the graces for this sacramental marriage, I lose my temper over and over. For awhile I am doing well, then with his lack of consideration (things that cause my homemaking more work,etc,) I end up a raging wife all over again. I communicate my wants and needs and he always means well, but I can’t get done what I want with the obstacles he throws in my way. Since I am the heart of the household I try my best to do my duties. I feel so overwhelmed. And this is AFTER the last of five kids left last summer. Does anyone else feel this way? Do we just keep starting over day after day? I feel so flawed and sinful. Any thoughts would be appreciated.
 
First of all, we are flawed, but we were designed this way.
But to believe this is a bad thing, is simply Satan using our weaknesses against us. He caqn only pull us down if we believe him. However, the same feelings brought to Jesus, and asking him to help us draws out an entirely different cenario.

I do believe that in copeing better, we handle life better, and the different tasks, or situations that are in front of us. So here in lies the trick to copeing. Consider the ability to handle things like a womans cycle. We know exactly why we are teary, bloated, cranky, miserable, and it is worsened by thoughless behaviour. So trying to not make trouble, knowing we are deeply flawed at this moment, we do not say much, and hold back. A volcano is what we produce.

In situations where we know we do not have huge amounts of controle, we must realize that it is good to ask for devine intervention. Heaven has an army at our ready to help us, so ask away. Ask God, a saint, a beloved one passed on, …anyone to interceed on our behalf. The more praying, the merrier.

Then remember yourself…pamper yourself, like it was a spa treatment. Make a warm bath, set the getto blaster next to you, and heck, add a glass of wine and candles…and lock the door!

This is your time, your space. You are loved, and cared for by the father, and it pains him to see us not give to ourselves. Get comfy in them bubbles, listen to just the right music (i aim for sad, as to pull this forth, and place at the cross). Sing along, sip the wine, and stare into those candle flames.

All that is there is you, and what you are thinking. It is actually un-nervingly quiet without song for me, as the music, singing in my pain, draws me closer to lifting my spirit to the Lord. Usually a good cry happens, and if really good, i ball my eyes out, and talk to God as if he was on the phone with me, or sitting with me in the garden.

Then i ask for the greatest gift of all. I tell him how beautiful it was to share my troubles with him (man this pleases him sooooooo much…it is all he asks of us, and graces fly from him) I admit i tried to do it alone, and failed, but together, with him, i can do anything. And if this is before me for a reason, i accept this. But what i ask for is this…THE GRACE TO ENDURE!

This means i am asking him for the ache, and sadness to leave me so that i can get back up from the floor, see clearly, and move forward…with HIM.

If we can not change our situations, at least ask for the ability to be a stronger mother and wife, so we see clearly, and not fall prey to loss of hope with old red legs (S.) Just to simply arm us with the tools we need to get it done better, with him.

These are the dearest, most vulnerable, honest cries i have ever had…and also the most fofillingly spiritual.

Try it jeanannemarie…i am off to do this myself after two days of crying, i forgot to Bring it to the Lord!

Lana
 
Lana,
That was such great writing and with so much feeling! I felt everything you described. You’re a treasure! God bless you and I hope you have a good night!

Much love,
 
Update…

My eyes are so sore, puffy, and DRY…imagine?

I had my cry, my song, my wine, and cried slowly untill i was resembling the crying, and cheerfully singing a song that tore my heart out (something that reminds me of my loss usually does it well)

I feel a veil has been lifted, in mid sob…it always startles me at how silly i feel when this pain and sobbing just stops…I get this feeling like, “ok, now what was i doing here?”

I am amazed, thankful, and ready to start a new day…

of course i need some cold cloth on my eyes…hehe, they are sad looking tonight, but i feel much better. All shaved, feet scrubbed, and the truth serum (wine) helped a huge amount, and when all was done, i still had a shower from the enormously long soak, scrub and pluck session.

Tomorrow will be another day, but for tonight i will rest better!

Lana
 
So many of you seem to have so much to carry, and have such beautiful faith. I guess we couldn’t manage if we didn’t have faith and prayer. It’s so great to know you all all praying for each other, and are so sensitive to each other.

I find it really hard that my husband has no interests any more, or the energy to do anything much. He hasn’t been able to work for twelve years. He’s not interested in religion, politics, sport, and not about people I know. We don’t have a garden for him to tend as we lost our house years ago. He can’t handle it if I’m enthusiastic or talk much. He can’t take much (name removed by moderator)ut, it makes him unwell. He has little energy and always sleeps badly. He never imagined he would ever be one not to always be working hard, which makes him feel useless that he can’t. And he has arthritis in his back, neck, and hands…so it’s a bleak outlook for the rest of life. His depression is made worse because his mother is in and out of hospital all the time, and is fading so very slowly…he sees himself in that too. I know all I can do is 'bandaid" stuff really. I am kind and cheerful with him, and he doesn’t get to see me cry… but I do, as we do! I think I have a lake of tears out there somewhere!

I pray and go to Mass each day, but it does break my heart about him; and that our three precious sons are lapsed, only one has some faith, and each of them have marriage break-ups. [Any faith my grandchildren have, but really only my granddaughter who is the kindest and nicest girl I’ve ever known, came because of my effort]. Well, not a marriage breakup for the eldest, he’s never been married, but is a single parent who’s raised his two children alone, with our help. My youngest son is in the process of marriage break-up now. My daughter-in-law of 17 years has cut our family off.
Not a very good record, is it.

Thanks for including me, us, in your prayers.

'Amen" to all of your intentions and prayer needs. Trishie
 
Although I may not be as you describe, I am a husband that has been seperated from my wife for nearly three months. I have been praying for my wife and asking God for forgiveness for any mistakes I have made. My intentions were always good, but I must have failed at being a good husband. I ask for one chance, a second chance for us both to get right with God, put our marriage ahead of ourselves, and get back to loving each other. I know that I cannot do this alone, so I ask that all who read this please ask God to help us both do right by Him.
 
Dear Husband, I wonder how many of us has been all the spouse we should be, and I guess most of us in some way or other regret we hadn’t done things differently or better. It’s not always that 'we must have failed in something". You say you had good intentions, but communicating can be so difficult, and people are so different so we don’t always know all that we’re coming from deep within ourselves, or where our spouses are coming from. It’s an awful shock when one finds out “somehow I may have been not doing it right”…it’s hard enough when we actually do know what we’re doing wrong.

"Amen" to your prayers for your marriage, your wife, and yourself. May the Holy Spirit inspire whatever can be resolved and how, and bring you back together, for that second chance.

It is so very sad, to have that sense of loss and abandonment, and feel helpless in convincing your spouse how much you mean to try. My husband left four times in all. He found the responsibility hard to cope with because he tried too hard with everything, he was driven, a perfectionist. The boys and I, we weren’t perfect, I wasn’t, whatever I tried. I recall my eldest boy saying, “Mummy, I don’t know which is worse, Dad being here or you crying.”

With you, it sounds like you’re a quiet man trying to do your best. I do most sincerely as Jesus to give you that chance, dear brother-in-Christ.
The second time my husband left, as usual I beat myself up for not being good enough. I don’t know if the prayer I wrote then speaks anything for you.

In failure
Jesus, I put my trust in the apparent failure of the Cross, for You are condemned to a criminal’s execution and it seems that Your mission has failed, You who alone could redeem humanity.

Who can accept that it is God-incarnate whose sweat and blood drips into the dust, from Your drained, dishonoured body! Yet Your human cry of abandonment by the Father is belied by the triumph of love and faith in Your final confident submission. You die, but You have not betrayed the Father’s trust.

Jesus, to my sadness I fail in many ways and sin against others by my failures. Have I betrayed Your will or mistaken Your purpose? Will You restore me to grace now, Jesus? To do what? Will You show me? Will You fuse together the broken pieces—of my life, of my service—to make a new and better creation? Am I to step around the fragments and to pass another way?

I ask to walk with certainty along the path of holiness that You choose uniquely for me. If not, then please allow me the certainty of buoyant faith. I ask courage to continue through the enveloping fog, trusting each small moment to the illumination of faith and grace.

Jesus out of my failure and sorrow You will bring healing and goodness luminescent as priceless pearls grown around grains of suffering, for Your glory, and for others’ remedy and blessing. July 1981
God bless you and grant your prayers. Trishie

By the way, we’re still together, 40 years in September. He always came back in time. God grant that you and your wife are together again lovingly soon, for always. God please have mercy on all struggling marriages and separated spouses. You know that you can post a request for prayer in the Prayer Intentions Forum also, so others can pray for you there?
 
Prayer to Saint Joseph for all sick husbands to find help.

O glorious St. Joseph,
friend of the Sacred Heart of Jesus,
thou whose power renders impossible things possible,
come to our aid in our present trouble and distress.
Take these important and difficult affairs
which we recommend to your protection,
that they may end happily.

O dear St. Joseph,
all our confidence is in you.
Let it not be said that we have invoked you in vain,
and since you are so powerful with Jesus and Mary,
show that your goodness equals power.

Amen.

St. Joseph, friend of the Sacred Heart of Jesus,
pray for us and for all who invoke your aid.

St. Joseph, friend of the Sacred Heart of Jesus,
pray for us and for all who invoke your aid.

St. Joseph, friend of the Sacred Heart of Jesus,
pray for us and for all who invoke your aid.
 
**PRAYER TO ST. MONICA

Dear St. Monica,
troubled wife and mother,
many sorrows pierced your heart during your lifetime.
Yet, you never despaired or lost faith.
With confidence, persistence, and profound faith,
you prayed daily for the conversion
of your beloved husband, Patricius,
and your beloved son, Augustine;
your prayers were answered.
Grant me that same fortitude, patience,
and trust in the Lord.
Intercede for me, dear St. Monica,
that God may favorably hear my plea for

the conversion of my husband, healing and salvation of our marriage, and the strong faith of our son, the conversion of all sinners in our families and of the spouses being prayed for here by CAF members,**

and grant me the grace to accept His Will in all things,
through Jesus Christ, our Lord,
in the unity of the Holy Spirit,
one God, forever and ever.

Amen.

Immaculate Heart of Mary, pray for us now and at the hour of our death.
Immaculate Heart of Mary, pray for us now and at the hour of our death.
Immaculate Heart of Mary, pray for us now and at the hour of our death.

Jesus, I trust in You!
Jesus, I trust in You!
Jesus, I trust in You!
 
Friends,
I have been gone for awhile. I wanted to spend may focused on “Our Lady” and have also been busy and a bit under the weather.
However, I am back and ready to begin my novena again. I will say that I am also praying to St. Dymphna. She helps with anxiety and depression. This helps since I have been battling with this since my mom’s illness and passing.

Hope all are well. Haven’t been able to catch up on the thread.
hugs toall:grouphug:
 
Hello ladies! I will pray for you and your husbands. I am so blessed that my husband has grown in his faith over the years. I stumbled onto this thread while researching Eckhart Tolle’s books and what Catholic.com folks were saying about them. Ironically, I am a Catholic counselor. I am a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and a Certified Alcohol and Drug Counselor. It does sadden me that so many of my collegues buy into the New Age junk and liberalism and lead people into further misery. I do not want to hijack this thread, I just wanted to invite you all to respond to a thread I am getting ready to write about whether I should consider writing a counter book to “The Power of Now” from a Catholic therapist perspective.
 
catholicmomof5 said:
Hello ladies! I will pray for you and your husbands. I am so blessed that my husband has grown in his faith over the years. I stumbled onto this thread while researching Eckhart Tolle’s books and what Catholic.com folks were saying about them. Ironically, I am a Catholic counselor. I am a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and a Certified Alcohol and Drug Counselor. It does sadden me that so many of my collegues buy into the New Age junk and liberalism and lead people into further misery. I do not want to hijack this thread, I just wanted to invite you all to respond to a thread I am getting ready to write about whether I should consider writing a counter book to “The Power of Now” from a Catholic therapist perspective.
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My DH’s counselor recommended “The Power of Now” and thank God he (DH) does not buy into the new age garbage Tolle spouted there. While I’m sure he won’t admit it, I think part of why DH’s counseling failed and he quit is due to her pushing of new age material (the other would be she wanted him to check into in patient treatment for his drinking). She also recommended a book called “Entering the Castle” by Caroline Myss which is based on the teaching of St. Theresa of Avila AND rife with new age. Not sure why she wouldn’t have simply recommended Interior Castles instead.

I found Matthew Kelly’s books to be very good. They are very Catholic, easy to read and have good learning tools for the reader.

A counter book to Ekhart Tolle would be wonderful, but right now with Oprah in his pocket, it is going to be horribly hard to overcome the influence he is afforded with her support. If you do write something I would love to read it when you get it published. Utilizing connections here at Catholic Answers and other Catholic websites would be a great resource for getting you book into the hands of the public.

It’s nice to have a “professional” visit our thread and offer support. Please, continue to visit. Perhaps you can give us some insight here and there when we get off the rails and get fogged up in our own emotions. At times those emotions can be toxic to our own well being when they swing to far in one direction.
 
well said Lambie…Indeed i’d love to find tools, like small tasks to do from the partners point of view, not just the partner who is falling away from us. If we are all he has, then it is US that need the tools…otherwise we are always enabeling…even when we do not want to. Sometimes peace is a much needed venue, but it comes at a price.

Lana
 
Lamb_Serenade said:
My DH’s counselor recommended “The Power of Now” and thank God he (DH) does not buy into the new age garbage Tolle spouted there. While I’m sure he won’t admit it, I think part of why DH’s counseling failed and he quit is due to her pushing of new age material (the other would be she wanted him to check into in patient treatment for his drinking). She also recommended a book called “Entering the Castle” by Caroline Myss which is based on the teaching of St. Theresa of Avila AND rife with new age. Not sure why she wouldn’t have simply recommended Interior Castles instead.

I found Matthew Kelly’s books to be very good. They are very Catholic, easy to read and have good learning tools for the reader.

A counter book to Ekhart Tolle would be wonderful, but right now with Oprah in his pocket, it is going to be horribly hard to overcome the influence he is afforded with her support. If you do write something I would love to read it when you get it published. Utilizing connections here at Catholic Answers and other Catholic websites would be a great resource for getting you book into the hands of the public.

It’s nice to have a “professional” visit our thread and offer support. Please, continue to visit. Perhaps you can give us some insight here and there when we get off the rails and get fogged up in our own emotions. At times those emotions can be toxic to our own well being when they swing to far in one direction.
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Thanks for your response. I would be glad to help if I can without getting into areas that would cause an ethical dilemma. I am not a visitor here though. I am also princz23 and have been a member since it started. I lost my log in info and changed e-mails, so I had to get a new log in id. I was off here for quite a while after my fifth child was born. He had health problems. I hope to visit more often.

I can tell you from my own personal experience that my husband grew in his faith by being inspired by my example. He had always been Catholic, but just sort of took it for granted. No manner of cajoling or nagging could do what the Hoy Sirit did through prayer. He bought me a Catholic Women’s Study Bible for Mother’s Day several years ago and as I began to read it and study more, he eventually (around a year later) began to quietly do so. He now prays novenas and reads his Bible daily. He is also very much into apologetics. Catholic radio has also done so much to inspire us in our faith. He told me several years later that he felt a calling to be more of our spiritual leader after watching me change through my spiritual development. Anything I try to get him to do (clean the garage for example) he just digs in and takes even longer to do. By surrendering and loving him as he is, God transforms him when they are both ready…not on my time.
 
Catholicmomof 5:
Very well said. I will keep that in mind. I try very hard just to accept my hubby as he is and not NAG. I have also started dedicating a decade of the rosary to him when I pray it.

Have a great day.
 
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