St. Monica pray for us! Praying for our husbands....

  • Thread starter Thread starter Lone_Catholic
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
That is a legal issue with the money. If it is an inheritance, she does not have a right to it, better yet the son’s portion. I’d check with the police laws where you live, and try to force the issue of the theft. The thing is, to enable her behaviour makes you party to allowing her to steal from you and your son.

If it is theft, it should be treated as one…otherwise expect much much more theft and hurt from her. This is not evil, this is her character, and funny thing is, often you can not re-calibrate a character like that.

Seems to me, that only hitting rock bottom makes a person of this character, re-evaluate life. I sugest doing your duty to yourself and your son first and formost. Allowing this to go forward is an example of bad stewardship. God insists you be a good example, no matter the pain it might cause, or your chances to gain her back.

Here is a situation that your demeanor, and character is being put on the line. She might be able to steal, but you do not have to allow her to get away with it. To do so is no different than indulging a child too far. You create the little monster, and therefor have to except the path of ruination you set them on.

Your son needs you to make this right, even if you loose the battle, you must try! I say let her face the police. Her choices led to this, this is seperate from love and marriage.

Once you do the right thing, His will be done. Marriage and right from wrong are seperate issues. God wants integrity, truth honor, and to love everyone. He does not say, if you **** on me, i let it befoul me. It says to stand up and rightfully be a good steward.

Do not feel guilty, as stewardship is a rightful gift from God, and you do not have to sling the **** back, but be rightful to others involved. Children learn what they live. Do not teach them this is right. If it were them, what would you do?

IMHO
 
HalfOfAWhole said:
Now for my question. My last post I mentioned that I know I can forgive her. I really think I know I can forgive her if she repented and tried to make all of her wrongs right once again. If she could just get right with God everything would be so simple. As I mentioned before, that would be a miracle. My question is, how do I forgive someone like this if she doesn’t make things right, if she doesn’t repent for her sins, if she doesn’t even want to be forgiven?
Click to expand...
Hi Half 👋
(by the way, I understand why you chose your screen name, but just remember you are whole if you have Jesus with you!)

I’m so sorry to hear about the terrible things your wife has done. It seems to me there must be some legal options, but that’s not what I wanted to write about.

The bolded part above really stood out for me, because I’ve been there. Not with my husband, but with a “friend.” Here’s the short version: she asked for my counsel regarding a surprise pregnancy with her boyfriend, I encouraged her to love her child and told her DH and I would help however we could (she’s actually a friend of his from before I knew him). Despite this, she had an abortion. :crying: Five months later they were engaged and now, several years later, they have their “first” child.

I still have not forgiven them, especially her, for killing their baby. I know that I should stand up for life, try to protect the unborn, but that it is not OK for me to not forgive her. We have never spoken of it (they live in another state so we don’t see them often) but it weighs on me because I know I need to forgive. I don’t know if she has sought God’s forgiveness or not, but that shouldn’t factor into my forgiveness of her. I need to let it go, recognize that God has it under control, and that He is the one to give or withhold forgiveness for her. I confess this each time I go to confession, and have spoken with my priest about it. He said that sometimes it takes us a long time to forgive people for such horrific actions, but that recognizing we need to forgive is an important first step. When I remember to :o, I pray asking that God will help me want to forgive her, and then that I’ll actually be able to.

I know it’s not the same as having your wife do all she’s done, but I hope this helps. Pray that God will give you the patience, sympathy, and desire to forgive. It may take time, but God knows sometimes it takes us baby steps to do something big.
:hug1:
 
Rammy & Belle,

Her legal defense to her theft and scam is that when she “took” the money, it was in our “joint” account. She knew where the money came from and was being directed to, so she is sinful but will not go to jail. Although you & I and everyone else knows that this was inheritance money, it is in question whether she will get away with this act. You see, once the inheritance money was put into an account that is considered joint, she can legally take all of it, even though it was inheritance money. It will come down to a point where a judge will rule on this next month. There’s much legal craziness about how I hadled my accounts and the inheritance as to whether I will get the money back. To me, it sounds like it comes down to how a judge feels like ruling that fine day.

I still cannot believe that she sunk to such a level. I just received the following link which is the type of scam she pulled.

smartdivorce.com/articles/dirty.shtml

It’s amazing that this woman also did these same things to her 1st husband. They had three boys together and he was so devastated that, forgive me for saying, he drank himself to death. Why does someone hurt the ones that love them most and then treats an outsider like royalty?

Thanks again.
 
Oh my, a repeat offender…i can easily call her an opertunist then. When she sees the chance, she grabs and goes.

I would follow as many traces of that cheque as i could. I’d get a copy from the bank, another copy of the deposite slip showing where it went, and another of the will shopwing your obligations legally to your son, or everything it was alotted for. She legally can account for 1/2 of yours, but not half of everything. But as far as i am concerned, inheritance is not hers to touch.

I see the plight you are in, but again, an afidavid would be an asset if you are aware of any person outside of the immediate family, or another lawer whom knew she was aware of the dispersion of monies. You can paint a trail or intention. I would also bring up the past showing it was a crime of repetitive nature that calls her character into question.

This is my point…it seems legally, you do not have a leg to stand on, but with enough evidence of knowlege of this money on her account, what it was supposed to be used for, and where it was deposited, and the amount, with someone being able to vouch for her knowing it was supposed to be used for…then it is theft, a moral theft, and the judge just might lean in your direction.

It would not hurt to try…

Go to the bank…get a copy of the check, and deposit slip.

Get an afidavid proving she was aware of the money’s intentions

Then get a copy of her withdrawal slip (her signature is on it)

And have a copy of the wills intentions of dispursement.

That is a start, sometimes the Judge says, can you prove something…so be ready.

Lana
 
My ex took almost 50 thousand of my sons trust fund because my son did not have a will, so it went to the next of kin…him and I. Very devistating. My son was almost 19, and had not seen his son in 12 years. He found out he was terminal, and told him he did not want to be his father since he was only going to die anyway (Will was 7 at the time his father told him that)

He stopped paying child support, i had no medical plan, and for the 12 years he was alive, i went into so much debt, it is still chaseing me.

Yet when he died, he fought me for his rights, yet denounced him at age 7 due to being terminally ill. I had my son, and with threats on my life, and my sons threat to make him disapear, i signed off all of our home, pentions, back support of 47thou he owed me, and other property. All for custody, and a year latter he denounces his son…then 12 years latter, he cashes in on his life insurance policy, and takes half of the trust fund of 130 thou.

Get this, it was given to my son by my ex’s father, knowing he’d never take care of his son. Did his father not know the truth.

Legally, if i had the money, i’d have fought him for the simple cruelty he put us all through.

Lana
 
I did not want to mix topics, so bear with the multiple posts.

As for the topic of forgiveing someone who has wronged you. There are two different points to be conscidered. You forgiving them, and God forgiveing you for the anger or resentment.

In the eyes of God, once you ask for forgiveness for something, it is wiped from the slate…gone. So if you ask for the forgiveness again, it can be confusing for God…lol…because it is gone already from his memory. Point i am making, it is yourself you need to forgive for this action, and you can ask God for help in this. The forgiving then becomes asking for it due to holding a grudge over something from the past you can not get over.

Now, to the specific person, it can be even harder, because when we see them, or interact with them, we are aware of the hurt they caused, and the wound is fresh. Seeing them as a sinner makes it easier. Each one of us holds certain deep sins, minor and major. However we must remind ourselves that we are sinning against ourselves trying to do Gods job. It is kind of being a busybody in someone elses life. Does this sin effect our soul…well to make the connection, no, but what we do with this information is leading us to sin.

When we place this sin at Gods feet, we are actually asking God to help them repent…still not our job. We need to see that there are better ways to redeem the situation as a bystander. Let God do his job at judgment, and let God deal with this person. What we can do is pray for them to be brought to the foot of the cross.

In the case of the abortion, the baby needs you. The baby was brought directly to heaven due to the crime against it. They are safe, but to pray for their soul, and to ask the baby to interceed on its parents behalf will build a heavenly army up to help the sinner.

As for the Bank theft, and others, i think they still need to be not excused as what you wish them to be…that if she repented, things can be right. But this is you accepting responsibility for her actions when you dismiss the legality. Response-ability. Is there a mental deficiency, or disability impending her to make good decisions? NO…so therefore, she has the ability to respond. She is not responsible for this crime, yes she is, otherwise she can take you for more…she has done it before.

She was never whom you truly believed, but put on a mask to cover her true greed. Forgive her yes, and if so, every day of your life. Send minions of angels to watch over her, but do right. Do not cover up for her actions, or you are part of the problem.

This is doing what is best for her soul…maybe not her life, but it is her soul you wish to account for.

Lana
 
Dear HalfofaWhole:

forgiving someone for wronging you IS difficult. Many times, people speak about things which are “unforgiveable”…but as Catholics, this is not what we are taught, I have to remind myself that forgiveness is not just for the small things, but for all things. In the end, the wrongdoer will have to face their judgement, but you do need to forgive, and ask a priest for help, I know it is hard, I struggle myself. With that being said, you can forgive her, but still protect yourself legally, you must do that for the sake of yourself and your son at least.

Recently, when I was seeking some spiritual guidance, the priest told me to try-at weak times-to close my eyes and say “Lord have mercy on me!” and just focus on an image of the cross for five minutes. Sometimes I am boiling with anger, or sinking in despair, and I have tried this and I tell you it has really helped me. If I focus on Jesus and what he did for us, and the love we receive, suddenly the anger and the despair ebb away, I am left dumbstruck at my weakness, and at the same time, feel joy and count my blessings.

I’m praying for all of us here in the forum. 🙂
 
Monica my dear…hello…and my hat is off to you with the excercise the priest gave you. I WILL try this, as i recently, on facebood ran into some old friends that knew my ex. I decribed a few things, and i can tell you, the anger was comming up to my throat slowly.

Off to go try this!

Lana
 
Hi Half,
I have just read the most recent posts. It seems to me that the most important issue is the one of forgiveness - but eternity is our destiny - not this life. I read by a priest (I think his last name is O’Sullivan) that there is a thing called social justice in our Catholic faith. What that means, from my understanding, is that when a person has wronged us and does not repent and does not ask for forgiveness, we are not obligated to forgive that person. That person has chosen to continue doing evil (wrongful things). That is where justice comes in from the Lord. He will take care of that. This doesn’t mean that we are to be cruel to that person, but that since the individual doesn’t see anything wrong with what he/she has done, then no forgiveness is being sought. I’ll have to pull up that article (I’m not sure where I saw it) and post it. I do believe that this in the Catechism. If anyone else knows about this, please help me out. Hang in there 1/2! I am still praying for you. God have mercy on us all.
 
St Monica, please intercede for the conversion and welbeing of all our husbands. Holy Spirit please illuminate their souls. Let them experience God’s love for them.
 
Rammy, Belle, Mom4truth,

Thanks for all of the support. Many of the suggestions you have are already in place or will be.

Mom4truth, I have a real issue with not being able to or being required to forgive. To me, it is the same as not having a clear conscious. It effects everything else I do in a negative manner and that is the problem. The victums of sinful acts are hurt so bad in this life and the ones commiting these acts go on as if what they did was OK.

I’ve seen, in the news in the past, these parents forgiving the killers of their children rather than wanting to give them the electric chair. How do these parents come to that point? I seems to me that is the route I need to go.

By the way, my wife goes to Catholic church and pretends to be a good Catholic. What do you think of that? :eek: Tony Soprano (The Sopranos Mobster HBO Show) also goes to Catholic church which is about the same in my opinion at this point. The truth is, usually my wife was a good Catholic but has really gone down the wrong paths with her past husband and myself. Serious controlling issues that conflict with her religion, I guess.
 
Half,
I don’t think that by our not be “required” to forgive is not exactly what is meant. I think the person who commits the evil act, wrongdoing, is punishing himself/herself because he/she has consciously made the decision to do wrong, to not ask for forgiveness and to not repent. If a person does not make an effort to turn away from sin, then how can the person in relationship with the offender, maintain a Christ-like spirituality? It would be like living with a murderer who knows he murders, wants to, keeps doing it, has no remorse, no signs of repentance, and yet we (you or I) continue to live with his sin. I think this is a tough one. I think (IMHO) that at this point, the situation can only be left to God. We are not judging that person, merely, keeping ourselves free from evil.😉
 
Prayer to Saint Joseph for all sick husbands to find help.

O glorious St. Joseph,
friend of the Sacred Heart of Jesus,
thou whose power renders impossible things possible,
come to our aid in our present trouble and distress.
Take these important and difficult affairs
which we recommend to your protection,
that they may end happily.

O dear St. Joseph,
all our confidence is in you.
Let it not be said that we have invoked you in vain,
and since you are so powerful with Jesus and Mary,
show that your goodness equals power.

Amen.

St. Joseph, friend of the Sacred Heart of Jesus,
pray for us and for all who invoke your aid.

St. Joseph, friend of the Sacred Heart of Jesus,
pray for us and for all who invoke your aid.

St. Joseph, friend of the Sacred Heart of Jesus,
pray for us and for all who invoke your aid.
 
**PRAYER TO ST. MONICA

Dear St. Monica,
troubled wife and mother,
many sorrows pierced your heart during your lifetime.
Yet, you never despaired or lost faith.
With confidence, persistence, and profound faith,
you prayed daily for the conversion
of your beloved husband, Patricius,
and your beloved son, Augustine;
your prayers were answered.
Grant me that same fortitude, patience,
and trust in the Lord.
Intercede for me, dear St. Monica,
that God may favorably hear my plea for

the conversion of my husband, healing and salvation of our marriage, and the strong faith of our son, the conversion of all sinners in our families and of the spouses being prayed for here by CAF members,**

and grant me the grace to accept His Will in all things,
through Jesus Christ, our Lord,
in the unity of the Holy Spirit,
one God, forever and ever.

Amen.

Immaculate Heart of Mary, pray for us now and at the hour of our death.
Immaculate Heart of Mary, pray for us now and at the hour of our death.
Immaculate Heart of Mary, pray for us now and at the hour of our death.

Jesus, I trust in You!
Jesus, I trust in You!
Jesus, I trust in You!
 
I think this is a tough one. I think (IMHO) that at this point, the situation can only be left to God. We are not judging that person, merely, keeping ourselves free from evil.😉

Well said!

Yes, this is the good stewardship i was speaking of in earlier posts. If we have a hard time forgiving, it is merely because the wound keeps being hurt…like re-do’s. In order to forgive, we probably need a sense that this is over. We still feel the hurt over and over again when it is not settled.

For now, just ask God to help you protect your person and son. That is important. Tell him you are trying, but the fear of reacurances keep you on edge…he will understand, and adore the intention you hold in your heart.

The idea of forgiving means you have dealt with all of the issues at hand, and have made choices about your afterlife, and seek this direction, no matter how hard it might be. This is a different stage than where you are at, but working towards. As long as you keep on going towards the goal, it will be an eventual goal.

I think God wants us to eminate the best behaviour possible, so we know how to treat eachother in heaven. It is like school here, learning the ropes. We are well aware of the kid who cheats through out school…eventually there will be an exam, or some form of proving he earned these grades…it will catch up with him.

In the mean time, we face our maker, each with a different path, and obviously she is not totally evil, but severely misled by fear and greed. That is her demons, and yours is forgivness. Two different paths, and two different pergatory sessions. Either way, in order for her to repent, she can do it now, or then…there is no “cheating” happening before the pearly gates.

Seek your own path., and pray for hers to be within his light, and not away from it. That is a loving act, and true to your intentions.

Lana
 
My husband, Cameron, says he does not believe in God. The truth is he is very angry with God. He is very supportive of my decision to return to the church but refuses to go himself. He is adamant that our son be raised catholic.
My oldest son, Ian, is claiming to be atheist and is partying way too much.
I pray for conversion and hope that St Monica will intercede on their behalf.
 
JuliaSmith,

I think it is harder for most men to keep the faith due to being more logical than emotional thinkers. Men are from Mars, etc. I question my faith in the difficult times for sure, this very second for example. It seems that my prayers have never been answered, maybe some have and I just don’t know it. It makes one mad at what they think or thought is there for you, forgive me for saying. I’m not as educated in religion as everyone else here, but sure could use a sign that God is listening to me and can somehow assist with my marriage, because I cannot even help myself since I cannot even speak to my wife or through anyone else other than lawyers to my wife. A lawyer sure isn’t going to help our marriage.

I found someone on the web that claims he can stop divorce, even in my situation. He says that he can teach me exactly what to do and say and my wife will magically not want to be divorced, all for $3,000 worth of phone sessions, and it doesn’t matter that I wouldn’t be speaking to her. I would gladly pay that amount or do most anything if it was guaranteed or I thought it would really work. I checked him out with the BBB and he has no bad marks, so who knows.

stopyourdivorce.com/125.htm

Sorry for going backwards today, I’m a strong man that seems to be a hopeless little boy right now.

Keep the faith, says Bon Jovi and my Aunt Lil

Signed Just Another Husband, but for how long?
 
Dear 1/2:

You are a strong man. YOU are the one who wants to stay in the marriage - REGARDLESS. That speaks volumes! It says that you are commited to Christ, the Church, and your wife. How I would love to hear my husband speak as you. I think that with the desperation you are having right now, that God will surely answer you in one way or another. Have you thought of praying to St. Therese of the Little Flower? I will pray for her intercession. She will send “flowers” in some form to you in answer to your prayer to her. You might want to try it. She has worked for me a couple times and for many of my family members. God bless you and keep being the man you are.
 
BeeSweet:

Just wondering: How have you been doing lately? I am hoping that all is well with you. You’re a sweetheart! God bless.🙂
 
mom4truth said:
BeeSweet:

Just wondering: How have you been doing lately? I am hoping that all is well with you. You’re a sweetheart! God bless.🙂
Click to expand...
Your so sweet to me!

I really need to beg your prayers for my husband & my marriage in this next week. My husband agreed a few minutes ago to returning to see the counselor again. He told me to make the appointment. I pray that he will actually follow through with it. He was sober when he said he’d go, so I think it’s safe to count on him. I hope to God it won’t be the last time he goes. I hope to God we can get some help. Please please pray for him. I am praying for all of you and your families as well! May God bless you all abundantly!
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top