St. Monica pray for us! Praying for our husbands....

[sandraladeda]

Just popping in to say hi, I hope all is well with all our posters here on the “St. Monica pray for us” thread…

The graces have been coming my way, no question, our Lord is soooo good to me. My hubby is not moving in his faith, but with so many blessings of late, I cannot help but know He has our interests in mind, and this is sustaining me, for now (this is not to say that I won’t pop in with a ripping-my-hair-out cry for help now and then, lol! )

I am faithfully praying each day for my husband’s faith, and after I post here, I will head off for some prayer time for all you prayer warriors and the loved ones you are praying for.

Xs and Os to all…

 

[Pixie_Dust]

I started RCIA “Summer Intensive” a couple weeks ago. My husband still has a few weeks left at the Bridge but he plans to start coming with me ASAP! Not sure if that means he’ll be coming into the Church at the same time I do, but he’s going to be COMING TO RCIA!! :dancing: :extrahappy:

Ahem See my new siggy?

 

[mommyof4]

I started RCIA “Summer Intensive” a couple weeks ago. My husband still has a few weeks left at the Bridge but he plans to start coming with me ASAP! Not sure if that means he’ll be coming into the Church at the same time I do, but he’s going to be COMING TO RCIA!! :dancing: :extrahappy:

Ahem See my new siggy?

Good!

 

[newbetx]

No way!! I say prayers at night with my 10 year old son (he becomes very pius at bedtime, lol) and when he is in bed and yelling for me to come say prayers with him, I have encouraged hubby to go instead, but he has never said yes. He would never pray with me. When we say grace at the supper table, I have added a chalk board on the kitchen wall which says “We pray for…” and family members can add their intentions. This is my sneaky way of adding some family prayer time. For some reason, hubby goes along with saying grace. However, he cracks jokes and is totally irrevererent, or grabs the chalk, and adds goofy things, like prayers for his sports team, or some other ridiculous intention.

He comes to mass about once a month, but sits there and rubs his face and acts impatient, like it’s a big enough sacrifice just to be in the building, he is determined NOT to get anything out of the mass. He goofs off with the boys…great…

I would guess it’s been about 35 years since his last confession…he does not ‘buy into’ confession at all. Recently, our 15 year old daughter had an interesting week in which she fessed up to some wrongdoing, to me (we are very close, share our faith a lot) and she really wanted to go to confession, and I took her with me. I told hubby about this result to the week of discussions of her wrongdoing, and he seemed to think it was a good thing, FOR HER. However, I have encouraged him to return to confession, and he just cannot see why he should tell anything to a priest.

He was born and raised Catholic in a very Catholic family. It’s not like there was no formation in his life.

I feel very lonely downplaying this very integral part of my life - my faith. Like I have something to be ashamed of???

Thanks, newbetx - yes, tough nut to crack!! :banghead:

The more I think about this, the more he acts like, well, my kids. Except they have to go along “or else”… Sounds like your kids are doing OK without his guidance. I’ve seen where the environment of “everything Catholic” has been an issue with other families and the kids end up pushing it away as adults. A rebellion, I guess, that they may stick too due to pride or stuborness. There are so many “reverts” on these pages that we can always hold out hope…

I am one who believes if what you are doing is not working, try something completely different. Insanity is sometimes described as “doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.” We get into that habit sometimes akin to “reboot the computer and see if works, now”

 

[ktp]

Just an ongoing request for ongoing prayers. We have had struggled with issues of questionable fidelity for two years, and my discovery that there have been women ‘friends’ about whom he has lied to me for the vast majority of our 18 year marriage.

He swears he no longer has any contact at all with any of them (he still works with one), but he has shown me he’s very able and willing to receive e-mails at his work account and lie to me about it.

He appears to be a loving, attentive, even doting to the extreme husband, but I really don’t know what’s true anymore. He appeared to be that during many years of having this secret friendship which seemed to involve a lot of running me down to her.

He doesn’t seem willing or able to understand why having secret female friends and flat out lying to me about them for years would be a problem-- in fact, he still often gets defensive and asks, “What exactly did I DO?”-- and that makes it hard for me to have any faith in his rather vague, unspecific apologies. It makes it hard for me to believe that he’s not going to just lull himself back into believing there’s no harm done if he just trades a few innocent e-mails with her, and then “just mentions” some awful thing about me, and so on. There is no doubt at all in my mind that he still lies to me.

I find that, despite my best attempts to follow God, this and other things that have happened in our marriage have killed my love for him. I believe I have made great progress in forgiving him, and eventually can completely, but I don’t trust him in the least, I don’t love him, and I don’t want to love him, and his refusal to sincerely understand and/or admit that his behavior was flat-out wrong is a big factor. (It’s what makes me feel he’ll do it again.) But I know that God didn’t make exceptions (to his command to love others).

So I guess we both need your prayers.

On a positive note, I often feel that every time I post a prayer request on CA, there are several days of positive events, or at least peace. And overall, I do have to say that there’s been an overall improvement in the situation over the last two years.

Thank you.

 

[ktp]

And he is upset with this marriage because he ‘feels he’s under suspicion all the time!’ It’s like a complete disconnect in his mind-- so, just because I lied to you for years on end, and set up secret e-mail accounts and had weekly coffee with a friend when I told you I was grocery shopping, now you don’t believe everything I tell you??? I don’t get it!!

I feel arrogant asking, as if I think I’m better, but please pray that this would really settle in. He’s really done next to nothing to help me re-build trust. He just keeps telling me I should now trust him ‘because he’s changed his behavior,’ which turns out to mean he (says he) is no longer getting e-mails from any of these women. But he’s already lied to me about that before, so telling me he’s changed that particular behavior means nothing without some physical evidence, and given the ability to set up e-mails and access them from work, that’s not even possible anymore.

 

[mommyof4]

KPT, praying for you, Hon.

 

[SaintMaker]

I pray every day for his conversion. My greatest wish is for us to be able to worship together and raise our family together in one faith. Maybe if we all pray for each other some of us can see conversions in our spouses.

Keep praying, it works! We have seen such miracles of conversion in our family. My sisters husband was constantly debating the faith on every level. When he converted many in the family would not believe it until they saw him receive communion. It really is a miracle, because he seemed to enjoy putting down the faith. Now he is very devoted. We now have 3 converted spouses in the family. My husband included. Pray with faith and all will be answered in God’s time. Good for you for continuing to raise your kids in the faith. I know this is difficult for you.

One more thing, when you are offering your Rosary intentions, you might say: "I offer this Rosary for the poor souls in purgatory, in reparation for the sins committed against Our Blessed Mother, and for the conversion of all who have not been blessed with the Catholic Faith, especially… (name them here)."

Also, get a green scapular and say the daily prayer with your spouse in mind.

 

[SincerelyMe]

I really like this group and I will add a special prayer for all of your husbands to my daily prayer for mine. I’ve been praying for my DH for a long time. He’s always been extremely uncomfortable around any religion, but recently after all our marriage preparations has been very inquisitive and accepting. I try so hard to answer all of his questions, even though I know I don’t have all the answers. He grew up Jewish and still claims that as his religion, but during his mom’s battle with MS he was baptized in a baptist church (at a young age) b/c he thought this would help his mom get better. I know this may be a weird question, but I wonder if this baptism counts? His mom was raised Catholic converted to Judaism and then back to Christianity…baptist then episcopal right before she died. So, he’s extremely confused and I try so hard to help ease confusion. Growing up, he had so many different points of view being thrown at him, sometimes aggressively that it’s made him very uncomfortable in religious discussions, unless they are with people he trusts. So, I continue reading as much as I can about the Catholic faith so I’ll have answers for him and I keep praying that God will continue to soften his heart and guide him to the truth.

 

[ktp]

Please pray for my husband especially in the coming weeks and months. I have told him I want a 6 month separation-- in-house, but most definitely a separation. I pray that it will be what breaks the insufferable pride or makes him finally grow up. But I absolutely can’t foresee a workable marriage with a man who apparently can’t see the real problem with the things he’s done, and hasn’t shown a single shred of real remorse for any of it.

I know he will view this as vindictive and hateful, but the fact is, I feel cheap and used continuing marital relations on these terms. We NEED to come to a better place in this marriage to go back to that.

 

[SaintMaker]

{{{{{{{{{{{ Hugs }}}}}}}}}}} Prayers on the way!

You may need an intervention by a priest or a catholic counselor or a couples retreat. Also, it would be beneficial to all if you started a Novena for your Marriage, together if he will cooperate but alone otherwise. Ask with tenderness. Read about St. Thomas More, he died defending marriage. (Happens to be the patron of my anniversary date.)

I would go to ebay or amazon and buy this book: How To Change Your Husband Awesome book.

I would also like to add that this may be a time of spiritual warfare. The devil will work on breaking up the family above all things. It is the earthly bond that most represents The Holy Family. Be on guard. Continue your daily prayers, Rosary, Divine Chaplet, etc. Then add to that the St. Michaels Prayer, every time you get a bad thought about your husband.

*Saint Michael the Archangel, defend us in the hour of battle, be our safeguard against the wickedness and snares of the devil, may God restrain him we humbly pray, and do thou oh Prince of the Heavenly Host, by the power of God, cast into hell satan and all the evil spirits that roam through the world, seeking the ruin of souls. Amen. ) *

We are not in paradise now, but our actions on this short life will totally affect out eternity. Do not run away from your husband but towards him with humility, and patience.

Read this humbling short story: The Parable of the Pharisee and the Tax Collector
He will change, if you are patient and pray without ceasing. God is good and I have seen miracles, HE will respond. Be vigilant, never cease praying. Pray for an increase in faith. Keep in mind that God is all good and all knowing. HE does not want to see you suffer. Come to Him for everything.

**

Mark 11:24

24Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.**

At night put your hand on your husbands back and say this, “come Holy Spirit Fill the Hearts of Thy Faithful and Enkindle in them the Fire of Your Love.” Then envision the fire of the Holy Spirit filling both your hearts, as one.

Here is a verse to meditate on:

**

Gen 2:21-24

21So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place.

22The LORD God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man.

23The man said,
“This is now bone of my bones,
And flesh of my flesh;
She shall be called Woman,
Because she was taken out of Man.”

24For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.

**

God bless you and think about this:

Proverbs 14
**1The wise woman builds her house,
But the foolish tears it down with her own hands. **

 

[ktp]

I have been patient and prayerful for fourteen years, and he has taken that as a message that he can have all the secret friendships (however far they went) he likes. Thank you for your prayers. I say the St. Michael Prayer and chaplets of mercy frequently.

 

[Pixie_Dust]

I have been patient and prayerful for fourteen years, and he has taken that as a message that he can have all the secret friendships (however far they went) he likes. Thank you for your prayers. I say the St. Michael Prayer and chaplets of mercy frequently.

Have you read about Elisabeth Leseur? Talk about patience! You might ask her to pray for you and your husband.

 

[apologist]

Thanks for this new thread. I’m surprised more wives haven’t joined. I need this site. God bless you.

 

[imamom]

I wanted to start this thread as a place for wives with unbelieving/non-Catholic husbands to come together to pray and support each other. I am a Catholic convert of 2 years now and pray every day for the conversion of my husband. I have found the intercession of St. Monica to be very encouraging, so thought maybe she could be the patroness saint of this thread.

Please join and introduce yourselves!

Hello!

I’m a Cradle Catholic, “reverted” (came back to the faith) in 1998, and am married to an “agnostic” non-practicing Protestant Swedish guy. I am hoping he converts someday, and pray hard! Will be starting the 54 day Novena soon for this purpose!

 

[mommyof4]

Hello!

I’m a Cradle Catholic, “reverted” (came back to the faith) in 1998, and am married to an “agnostic” non-practicing Protestant Swedish guy. I am hoping he converts someday, and pray hard! Will be starting the 54 day Novena soon for this purpose!

Hi Heather, and welcome to the forums! I hope that you will join us as we pray for the conversion of our families.

 

[imamom]

Hi Heather, and welcome to the forums! I hope that you will join us as we pray for the conversion of our families.

I sure will! My toddler son is baptised in the Catholic church, and we were married in the Catholic church. My Dh has no qualms about the Catholic church or Catholicism, he just claims he’s agnostic.

 

[light_dawning]

Hi, I’m a guy (just passing through), but I thought you might be able to use this:

PRAYER TO ST. MONICA

Dear St. Monica,
troubled wife and mother,
many sorrows pierced your heart during your lifetime.
Yet, you never despaired or lost faith.
With confidence, persistence, and profound faith,
you prayed daily for the conversion
of your beloved husband, Patricius,
and your beloved son, Augustine;
your prayers were answered.
Grant me that same fortitude, patience,
and trust in the Lord.
Intercede for me, dear St. Monica,
that God may favorably hear my plea for

(Mention your intention here.)

and grant me the grace to accept His Will in all things,
through Jesus Christ, our Lord,
in the unity of the Holy Spirit,
one God, forever and ever.

Amen.

God bless you all.

 

[imamom]

[SIGN]Thank you![/SIGN]

God bless

 

[apologist]

Judy Mother of six:

I think that was an awesome answer you had to wives who have non-Catholic husbands. I, too, have a husband who is not Catholic (Lutheran). I must say that recently, having been married to this man for 20 yrs. that suddenly our differences in religion have brought about a division in our family. My children are both devout Catholics as well as I. The kids and I say the Rosary for his conversion, among other things. Lots of good advice you gave and great Scripture readings. Thanks for all the info! God bless you.