St. Monica pray for us! Praying for our husbands....

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Pixie_Dust said:
… giving thanks to God, whether your petition was answered to your liking or not. We have to always remember that God sometimes is on a different time table. 😉
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One of the things I’ve learned is that sometimes when we think we haven’t received an answer to our prayers that actually IS the answer. For some reason the difficulty we are experiencing is exactly what we need to grow in sanctity. Sometimes it is the adversity that drops us to our knees and inspires us to truly pray and deepen our relationship with God.

This is why the days for prayers of Thanksgiving are so important. They give us an opportunity to realize the many gifts God has given us, even if we aren’t getting what we think we want.

CARose
 
I am not married but lurk on this thread. I discovered it over a year ago when the non-Catholic I was dating started considering marriage. Someone recommended this thread to me. Our differences in faith were the reason we broke up–and ever since then I have continued to follow this thread. I know mixed marriages can work, and be very happy. But in my situation, the guy ultimately decided he could never be married to a Catholic, and refused to be married in the Catholic Church. He did me a favor in the end, but it still does not always feel that way!

I am starting the 54 novena tonight (or tomorrow) depending on your time zone, for the conversion of friends and family (I started a thread on that because this one inspired me so much).

I will pray for all of your spouses and include your intentions when I pray the novena. Your patience and continued prayers for your spouses, and each other, is a huge inspiration to me.

I pray our Lord will bring your spouses home to the Church, and that if it is His will, I hope I find myself a practicing Catholic husband one of these days (a rare find I know!)

Sincerely,

Maria1212
 
Does anyone have a good link to the story of St. Monica. I know there are books but I wanted to refresh my memory about her life.

I am on day 5 also. Yesterday I was able to do it before the Blessed Sacrament during my weekly adoration. If I were more like St. Monica I would go there everyday to pray. Why is it we find time for TV :o and computer (forums:rolleyes: ) but little time for GOD?🤷

Keeping everyone in my prayers.
 
Hi ladies (and men): just wondering about the St. Monica novena. What happens if I’ve missed 3 days? Does that make my novena “invalid”? I’ve been so upset over hubby that I haven’t been able to pray for his conversion. I’d like to restart tonite if possible. Anyone know the answer to this? God bless!
Mom4truth;)
 
👍 Maria: you’re a sweetheart! Thank you for praying for all of our non-Catholic spouses. I believe that it would be easier to be married to a person of the same faith. You’d have a lot less difficulties (hopefully). That’s not to say that mixed marriages can’t work, but I do think same faith religions are better. I’ll pray you meet a good Catholic man to marry you and who deserves you! God bless:)

mom4truth
 
mom4truth said:
Hi ladies (and men): just wondering about the St. Monica novena. What happens if I’ve missed 3 days? Does that make my novena “invalid”? I’ve been so upset over hubby that I haven’t been able to pray for his conversion. I’d like to restart tonite if possible. Anyone know the answer to this? God bless!
Mom4truth;)
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My understanding is you just pick up and keep going. This is a private devotion, so that’s OK. Just do your best.
 
mom4truth said:
👍 Maria: you’re a sweetheart! Thank you for praying for all of our non-Catholic spouses. I believe that it would be easier to be married to a person of the same faith. You’d have a lot less difficulties (hopefully). That’s not to say that mixed marriages can’t work, but I do think same faith religions are better. I’ll pray you meet a good Catholic man to marry you and who deserves you! God bless:)

mom4truth
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Thank you for your prayers that I will find a nice Catholic husband. I prayed for everyone`s spouses at Mass today and am on Day 3 of the 54 day novena. But I will continue praying for everyone long after 54 days!

Sincerely,

Maria1212
 
I am brand new to this board and this is exactly what I was looking for. I was searching online for something like this and here it is. 🙂 I have been divorced for about 4 years…it was my choice. I didn’t want to be married any more. I don’t think either one of us wanted to be. It is a very, very long story, but, something very evil tore apart my family. I lost my mother, my health deteriorated, my ex-husband took a destructive path…there was just evil all around. And it was at a time when I was growing in my faith. I felt like I was being attacked, and everything/everyone I cared about was as well. It continues to this day. (I told you it is a long story) Anyway, I realize now that my divorcing him was the wrong decision and I was confused with all that was going on. He is not doing well…he has remarried and this woman is taking him down a road that is not good for him. She will barely let him spend any time with his children, (literally no contact for months/years at a time) he is dirty and not taking care of himself at all. He had told me if I divorced him, his life was over and he would not care about anything anymore. I now see that he meant it. Yet she has this hold over him. I didn’t want him any more because he was neglecting me and the children because of her…I needed him as I faced the death of my mother, my health problems, etc. I resented him then and could not find any love in my heart because of that.

Now…4 years later, God is showing me the truth: That even though it is not fair, I am the strong one in this relationship and this man is hurting and needs me and it was evil that overtook our family. There is a lot more to the story of course. The bottom line is, I want to continue praying for him and this family, and this board and this prayer looks like a good place.
Anne
 
Welcome, Anne. I see elements of my own life in your story. We can all pray for each other.
 
Annem42,

I am so sorry for your pain! The evil one speaks lies of the happiness and peace we will find if we merely leave behind our husbands, and your testimony is a very important one, especially for this thread where so many of us are in difficult relationships.

It certainly helps to remind us that ultimately, God’s ways are the best ways and we need to be true to them, even in the toughest times, and in our culture, there are few who can appreciate why we stay in difficult marriages.

After 1 1/2 yrs of our home being on the market so that my husband can get the divorce he desires, we now have an offer. We’re going through a series of counters on the offer, but it looks like they are earnest in their desire to buy it, even if they came in lower than we’re willing to go. (It’s a totally dead market here, only 2 homes sold in the entire area in the month of May, I never asked about the #s for June.)

So, it looks like it’s time for me to pursue a legal seperation to protect myself, although I anticipate that once he has the money to pay a retainer, I’ll be served with divorce papers.

The thing is, the week before they made an offer (there had been no interest on the house recently) I prayed to God and gave Him my marriage, to do with as He pleased. I surrendered it to Him. I told Him that I was ready for whatever His will might be. My daughter and I went to Steubenville West for the weekend and while we were gone all weekend in prayer (I was not focused especially on my marriage, but rather on doing that which is God’s will) the offer was made.

Upon arriving home (actually the following day) I was told that we had an offer.

If we come to a final contract I will have to find a place to live and most likely will need to put much of my stuff in storage. It will be interesting to see how God provides at this time of need.

Already, I was chatting with an acquaintance whose company I enjoy and she mentioned she is looking to rent 2 rooms in her home (a condo in the neighboring town). It would be small, but it would also be very inexpensive. My daughter would have a room and I’d have a room. There would be no office, no place for my furnature or other items (am I hearing time to purge?) but I could afford to live there without spending the money from the house so that in a couple of years, when my daughter is done with HS, I could move to an affordable community and purchase a home.

I don’t know if this is the right solution, but I’ve already got options. God is letting me know that things are going to be OK, as this is His will, and I’m allowing Him to take the lead.

I know that if I trust in Him, that things will be alright, even if that means I’m dirt poor, somehow, I will manage to survive in a way that is most beneficial for my soul.

I pray that I will be the one who has primary custody of our daughter. I thoroughly enjoy her company. I know my husband will try to get custody and I’m not looking forward to that battle, but again, I keep reminding myself that somehow, if I continue to live the example of Christ, things will work out for the best, God’s best. And there is nothing better than God’s best for it lasts forever! 🙂

I’d love your guys prayers to help fortify me through this. I know that I will be encouraged by the evil one to be less the example of Christ than I desire. Please Holy Spirit, fill my heart with Love so there is no room for hate within me. Help me to always act in ways that, while prudent, are also loving. Shine a light on the steps I need to take to care for myself and my daughter (15 yrs old, going into sophomore yr).

Help me to continue to do your will in other areas of my life and most especially, guard my tongue (and keyboard) so that I do not speak ill of my husband, or fall into the trap of encouraging others to speak ill of people in their lives.

I ask this through Christ our Lord,

CARose
 
Dear CA Rose,

I am praying for you and your family.

Sincerely,

Maria1212
 
I’ve been away from this for a while but am glad to get back and see that everyone is still praying together. I too am married to a non-Catholic, non verbal person. I feel very lonely sometimes b/c he seems to miss us dreadfully but once he gets home he has little desire to interact with me abt anything. We have a two year old and I am also over 40. I try not to take it personally, everyone needs their space I know. We’ve only been married a few years and he was this same way when we were dating. I myself have come to realize he’s always there when it counts and steps up, but as far as participating in family life he has had none or poor models. Not a good excuse, but I just keep praying for him. (Often it is accompanied w/ some nagging.) I get fed up with him not coming to mass with us when he could. He chooses when he has time for it, better than nothing.

This place has been good to help me re-think if not re-consider how I pray. I know that God brought us together despite my desire for a Catholic husband. There must be something redemptive in the entire process not just for me but for him too. I am so ready for another baby (10 yrs late I KNOW!!) and I want this to be patched up but it is his way to hibernate and pull away. So not that all of this is pertinent to anyone’s specific sitch but thanks for listening.

I have been catching up with myself spiritually and trying to discern how God would have me serve him best. My options are wife/mother or adding the career back to that. Not looking forward to that as my next option. I will be keeping all of you in my prayers this evening and our spouses also that they will see how much we love them and more importantly how much God loves them.

Evening sisters, hope to talk more often.
 
mom4truth

It is not always easy when you share the same faith either. You encounter some of the same problems just in a different way. When we first married my husband went to church with me every Sunday and Holy Day. After ten years of marriage and our fourth child was born he stopped going every Sunday and then it came down to occasionally going with us and now he only attends on Easter and Christmas. We are definitely not on the same faith page. He claims I turned into a religous nut but I am the same as when we first married. I believed in obedience to the magisterium, confession, etc. and following all Jesus taught including NFP etc. but my husband did not as I later found out. My husband did go to the NFP classes with me before our marraige but after that he did not support me in it in the least. We are constantly under pressure from his Catholic mother who was goign to be a nun but never took her final vows (in my opinion a good thing) because his mother pressured me to go on the pill and I refused. Then my husband started pressureing me to go on the pill and I refused. I am now pregnant with our 5th child and his mom is up in arms. She has been pressuring my husband to get a vasectomy since our third child was born. My husband was all set up to go ahead with it and I told him I did not believe that was right. It ended up he did not get one even though he tried twice because of his health history there were too many complications that two doctors felt they were not competent to deal with his situation. Now he found a doc that is willing to do it but he has started to back out because of health concerns on his part. Thank you Lord. But now he is asking me if I would consider a tubal. I said no way. He thinks I’m being selfish. As my pregnancy is considered high risk because of health concerns on my part. I know he is worried about me but it makes me angry he thinks I could take my faith so lightly. So even if your spouse is raised in the Catholic faith is does not mean he understands that faith. I pray he will some day. Please keep me and my husband in your prayers.🙂
 
mnmom said:
mom4truth

It is not always easy when you share the same faith either. You encounter some of the same problems just in a different way. When we first married my husband went to church with me every Sunday and Holy Day. After ten years of marriage and our fourth child was born he stopped going every Sunday and then it came down to occasionally going with us and now he only attends on Easter and Christmas. We are definitely not on the same faith page. He claims I turned into a religous nut but I am the same as when we first married. I believed in obedience to the magisterium, confession, etc. and following all Jesus taught including NFP etc. but my husband did not as I later found out. My husband did go to the NFP classes with me before our marraige but after that he did not support me in it in the least. We are constantly under pressure from his Catholic mother who was goign to be a nun but never took her final vows (in my opinion a good thing) because his mother pressured me to go on the pill and I refused. Then my husband started pressureing me to go on the pill and I refused. I am now pregnant with our 5th child and his mom is up in arms. She has been pressuring my husband to get a vasectomy since our third child was born. My husband was all set up to go ahead with it and I told him I did not believe that was right. It ended up he did not get one even though he tried twice because of his health history there were too many complications that two doctors felt they were not competent to deal with his situation. Now he found a doc that is willing to do it but he has started to back out because of health concerns on his part. Thank you Lord. But now he is asking me if I would consider a tubal. I said no way. He thinks I’m being selfish. As my pregnancy is considered high risk because of health concerns on my part. I know he is worried about me but it makes me angry he thinks I could take my faith so lightly. So even if your spouse is raised in the Catholic faith is does not mean he understands that faith. I pray he will some day. Please keep me and my husband in your prayers.🙂
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I will keep you and your husband in my prayers. Your husband`s story is a reminder of how precious, yet delicate, our faith is. I hope we all remain practicing Catholics, and that your husband will return to his faith. Conversion and reversion really is a life-long process!

Sincerely,

Maria1212
 
MNMOM,

Does your husband then participate as in what’s going on w/ feritility part of NFP?? Mine is not interested any longer at all in knowing that. If so, what do you do with that??

Kind of nosy I know, but I am wondering what the fallout will be when God does bless us with another child. My idea is that I will just take the heat and know that I did the right thing.
 
Hi MNMOM: I realize that same faith marriages are not always completely in sync. Any marriage would have difficulties, due to our fallen nature. I will definitely pray for you and your family. Thanks for responding to my post! God bless you and yours!

J.
 
Wgholland

Yes my husband always asked as he did not want another child after number four becaue of both of our health issues and also financial issues. We were blessed with pregnancy #5 when I was supposedly infertile. Right now I use the mucos only method but before child number three I used the Sympto/thermal method but after two children and working full time I could not keep up with all that charting of temps etc. because I was up and full steem ahead before I could get a chance to take temp. As I said husband was not interested in helping so up with babies, toddlers etc. no time for temp taking. My cycles are pretty consistent and we knew we were in fertile period and could become pregnant with our first four. Number five was a surpise bonus:)
 
Night time Greetings from Sweden! 🙂

I haven’t had time to pop in the forum threads this past week and a half, my DH has been home on a bit of vacation. He’ll be back at work starting Monday next week. 🙂 Then I’ll be here tons more.

I messed up on the 54 day Novena by missing some days, so I am restarting tomorrow and marking it on my calendar! Need to pray the prayer to St Monica every day before my Rosary praying. Must remember 27 days of prayer, and 27 days of thanksgiving prayers (regardless of what the outcome is).

Btw, my DH is agnostic, but baptised Lutheran Protestant. He enjoys the Catholic traditions and is interested, but some things still make him hesitate. He’s not very religious but I hope that will come with time. My priest told me to leave it in God’s hands and he’ll take care of it in His way and His time! And I’m doing just that, with the help of St Monica! 🙂

Good night! Off to read the Pope’s new book “Jesus of Nazareth” that I got in the mail today.
 
Thank you all. I am also so happy that I found this thread. Your stories are inspiring me as I wrestle with the difficulty being married to my husband who has no faith what-so-ever. I am a new catholic (2yrs–from a catholic family and baptized but not raised as a catholic as my mom left the church), married for almost 10 years to a man who scares me sometimes. Hes not physically violent, but he listens to violent rock music and I really wonder what dark forces are at work. He makes fun of me and my faith (calls me a Jesus freak) He is a good provider. But he is not here – he seems to want more and more stuff (classic car, motorcycle, big camper, big screen tv) – totally into material things. He doesn’t really spend time with the kids (6 yrs, 3 yrs and 10 mos) – I see him as a spoiled and a narcisist – me, me, me. No concept of chairty, can barely give to those that he loves? We were not married in the church (I wasn’t religious at the time).

I know that if we did not have children, I could walk away and leave this relationship without a look back. If it were only me, I would leave him. But I see my children and know that they deserve to have their father in their life. Not perfect, but at least he is here. I know that God must have a reason for this hardship and pray that he will see the light. Until then, please pray for me and my kids … they are such a blessing. Thank you all for sharing your stories and hope!

God Bless you all…Tee
 
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