St. Monica pray for us! Praying for our husbands....

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I know where your coming from Belle 10. I have an almost 16 year old and an almost 4 year old, who’s father was raised in a United Methodist Church. We were married Catholic because I told him I could not and would not be married anywhere else. Both of our daughters have been baptised Catholic. For the first few years my husband joined me in going to mass and I would go with him to the Presbyterian church he attended. But finally when my oldest was about 6 he stopped going. Said he could not stand it anymore, said we sacrificed Jesus every week and that some of the things said in church were against his beliefs. So I have been going it alone (except for a rare occasion at Christmas and mothers day). He came to church when our 4 year old was baptised and maybe 5 times since then. I often feel lonely and wish he were there for two reasons. One is definitely for the help with a toddler, the other is because I am sad for my children that they do not get to worship in a united family. Although we are happily married and agree on everything else we do, this one thing has caused much stress.

I am on day 13 of the thanksgiving part of the 54 day novena. I have noticed a definited difference in my husbands temperament. He even mentioned today that something occured that would normally have set him off, but he was able to hold his temper in check. He said he has been able to control his anger much better as of late and he sounded as if he had no idea why. I do though!!!

So pray, pray, pray. I try to keep everyone on this thread and their spouses in my prayers.
 
Dear EldensWife,

Hi. I just saw your post. I know what it’s like to feel divided religiously. My husband (from another post) is Lutheran and does not attend Mass with my two kids and I. He used to, until something happened. He found HIS faith through another woman (yuck). Ever since, he’s like this “born again” Lutheran. I mean, it’s o.k.to be enthusiastic about your faith, but please don’t knock my Catholic faith as he does. I am still trying to ignore his relationship with “other woman” and their combined “faith”. But, by golly, it’s HARD! He (husband) is trying to be kinder, though. Probably because I am basically bed-ridden due to a number of illnesses. Anyway, just wanted to share how it can be difficult when the whole family isn’t of the same faith. Please pray for me and I’ll keep your family in my rosary tonite.

God bless ya, hon.

mom4truth:hug3:
 
Belle10 said:
Hi everyone:)

I’m Belle, I’m pretty new around here. I’m Catholic, always have been, and love my Jesus and church. My husband and I were married in the Catholic Church because I wanted (needed!) to be, but he’s not Catholic and has no plans to convert. Our daughter was baptized in the church and I bring her with me each week (she’s only 19 months old) – it’s tough going it alone.
My husband was brought up Methodist and he believes in God, I just don’t think he’s accepted Jesus as his savior. Of course I want him to know Jesus so he’ll have eternal life, but is it wrong to want him to know Jesus for my own benefit? I want our marriage, family, entire lives to be united together in Jesus – for all the big, important reasons, and for the little ones (like having some help with a toddler in church!) – is that OK? Does anyone else feel similar things?

Thanks,
Belle :gopray2:
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Welcome Belle.
Day 3
 
ELDEN_S_WIFE said:
I know where your coming from Belle 10. I have an almost 16 year old and an almost 4 year old, who’s father was raised in a United Methodist Church. We were married Catholic because I told him I could not and would not be married anywhere else. Both of our daughters have been baptised Catholic. For the first few years my husband joined me in going to mass and I would go with him to the Presbyterian church he attended. But finally when my oldest was about 6 he stopped going. Said he could not stand it anymore, said we sacrificed Jesus every week and that some of the things said in church were against his beliefs. So I have been going it alone (except for a rare occasion at Christmas and mothers day). He came to church when our 4 year old was baptised and maybe 5 times since then. I often feel lonely and wish he were there for two reasons. One is definitely for the help with a toddler, the other is because I am sad for my children that they do not get to worship in a united family. Although we are happily married and agree on everything else we do, this one thing has caused much stress.

I am on day 13 of the thanksgiving part of the 54 day novena. I have noticed a definited difference in my husbands temperament. He even mentioned today that something occured that would normally have set him off, but he was able to hold his temper in check. He said he has been able to control his anger much better as of late and he sounded as if he had no idea why. I do though!!!

So pray, pray, pray. I try to keep everyone on this thread and their spouses in my prayers.
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Hi ELDEN’S WIFE
I hope you let him know that we don’t sacrifice Jesus each week, but it is the same sacrifice that happened more than 2000 years ago and that we are doing what Our Lord requested the night before he died.

I know what it is like bringing a toddler to church. Sometimes it is really fustrating when there’s noone to help. I remember my oldest child ran behind the altar during the consecration. I was so embarassed, I had to run up after him and drag him out of the church. :o My youngest is still a baby, but he likes to grab anything that is in front of him and he’s a squirmer. So I think that he is going to give me trouble as well.

God Bless - Day 4
 
I’m taking all concerns here to Mass with me today, and I will light a candle for all intentions. Have a good Sunday, folks!🙂
 
St. Monica’s feast is Monday! Let’s join in earnest prayer for the salvation of our husbands.

Here is the prayer of the Church (from the Divine Office) for her memorial:

God of mercy,
comfort of those in sorrow,
the tears of Saint Monica moved you
to convert her son Saint Augustine to the faith of Christ.
By their prayers, help us to turn from our sins
and to find your living forgiveness.
Grant this through our Lord Jesus Christ, your Son,
who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit,
one God, for ever and ever.
Amen.
 
Dear Belle,

In exact same position my husband comes to mass now but I had to finally start taking little Rachel to nursery. I struggle with it b/c I’ve had her with me so much, and so often alone like you. She just turned two. He sort of resents the fact that she is over there when he decides to join us but he is not any help at all. He tries to head over to get her before the priest has even left the altar!! It makes me fume. He is a Christian of no denomination. So the sacredness of the entire mass and presence of God in the tabernacle- goes way over his head.

I have tried while we were dating in my own enthusiasm and love of our Church to share it with him and he was open. Now he is there for important things but goes when he has time for it.

There are huge numbers of women just like us. It is prob most wise to pray for them and their openness to the truth that they are being exposed to b/c that in the end will be the real sadness. You know if we are ignorant but are never exposed we are given leniency…I have come to the conclusion that he will not do it b/c I want him to but have hope like I do that as he sees the child go through sacraments and receive them that it will start to click with him too. So many women in my parish have advised me of faith and patience.

I’ve been so angry with him this past week, that it dawned on me today I was being focused on what he could do for me and not what Christ has called me to do for him. Which is a tendency when you have a busy toddler I know!!! It is so hard for me to watch him with so much free time but I wouldn’t trade a minute of it I spend w/ Rachel. Maybe that’s just not a realism I was privy to before marriage!!!

I try to pick opportunities to pray together b/c that is absolutely a no for him. So each time he leaves for work (he works out of town for 2-3 wks at a time) Michael, Rachel and I, gather together to bless him before he leaves so that he will arrive back home safely.

I’m kind of at a loss this week on any more positives b/c had a cruddy week myself. I waited for four days once he got home to ask him to watch her so I could go to mass on Assumption and he blew me off, forgot entirely and I ended up spending my whole day chaufering him around. I was not only disappointed but angry with myself that I was not better or more charitable about it. Just don’t know how else to ask other than the night before while we are eating (figure I have his attention)…so I hope that was some inspiration.

Pray because you are together for a reason and truthfully it’s probably for him.
 
St_Gabriel said:
Hi ELDEN’S WIFE
I hope you let him know that we don’t sacrifice Jesus each week, but it is the same sacrifice that happened more than 2000 years ago and that we are doing what Our Lord requested the night before he died.

IGod Bless - Day 4
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Thanks St. Gabriel,
I have tried explaining all this to my husband, I’ve had him listen to Scott Hahn’s conversion tape (it was the only one I had at the time) and it has done no good that I can tell. We have gotten into arguments over our differences. I would try to stay calm and pray during these confrontations but the calmer I was the more my husband would lose it. If you ever heard about someone getting so mad they would “see red”. This usually means they have passed a point of being able to rationally think about what others are saying. This was my husband. He would get so angry he would spit as he spoke. I was afraid of him although he has never hit me or our children. He was raised correctly in that way, unfortunately anger issues run in his family. He inherited them from his mother, but that’s another story. My daughter was about 8 to 10 at the time and she would get so upset and start crying, asking if we were going to get a divorce and screaming for her father to stop, which would cause my husband to get angrier. I have decided to leave it up to God. I think my trying to help in my husband’s conversion was hurting rather than helping. I pray and ask God to help me know when to speak up and when to keep my mouth shut. Since my youngest was born I have avoided the confrontations altogether. I am praying. St. Monica is the inspiration here. She followed her husbands will and went everyday to pray in front of the Blessed Sacrament. I go once a week to do adoration and I pray. (currently on day 42 of the 54 day novena and I plan to continue on with the rosary daily afterwards, it has helped me a lot in my prayer life, which lately was non-existent, much to my shame)

So I am grateful for all who are praying for me. Again, I try to keep you all in my prayer request every night.
 
Day 5 - I just wanted to say hi to all on this thread. It’s a real blessing for all of us to be able to share our similar experiences.
I am keeping your intentions (lurkers too) in my prayers. 🙂

Curious if anyone has tried fasting to soften their DH’s heart?

BTW - If I miss a day on this forum, it is most likely b/c our internet service provider has slowed down. DH is trying to download something that is using up all the resources.

God Bless
 
Thank you to everybody who replied to me. I’m not on here everyday, so sorry I didn’t reply to all of you sooner! 😛

I’m going to read up on St. Monica, since I don’t know much about her. I have a feeling I might be inspired! 🙂

Something nice I wanted to share: this weekend my sister-in-law’s boyfriend’s sister was visiting for the weekend. She’s Dutch Reformed (not really sure what that is) but she started telling me how she’s so interested in Catholicism and how it seems so wonderful – she kept saying how she likes the idea of confession (which surprised me, since many Catholics have trouble with it!). She was saying how she feels like she just goes to church Sundays but that it’s not part of her daily life…so I invited her to church but she declined b/c she wanted to hang out with her brother. Later, when I got back (I went to Sat. vigil with my daughter), I said if she wanted to go I’d be happy to go Sunday morning and she was elated!! To see such joy about going to Mass, from someone who isn’t even Catholic, was wonderful!! My brother-in-law and his fiance watched my daughter (my husband was out of town) and we went to church – she was so happy! The best part was that the homily was on how Jesus calls us to live the gospel each day, not just once a week – perfect words from God on the very thing we had been talking about!! I’m so happy and hope she’ll continue on this path. :gopray2:

Anyway, I know that wasn’t about husbands, but I just wanted to share – I don’t believe in coincidence when it comes to stuff like that, and it was wonderful to feel the Holy Spirit moving. I pray one day I’ll be able to be this happy for my husband. ❤️

Thanks for letting me share, and God bless you all. 🙂
 
So I was reading up a bit on St. Monica, and I’m sure you all know this, but today is her feast day! 🙂
 
Hi Ladies,

It is so good to find this thread. I have been divorced for 4 years now. And it was not an easy thing to do. It is very expensive and it is very sorrowful. I was married for 40 years. I have 4 children, 9 grandchildren and 4 great-grand children. I am a cradle catholic and still practice my faith. I love the EWTN conversion programs and learned alot in those programs. I come from a large family and we are very out going and loving. It is almost like the world Catholic is a dirty word. Thanks to Sister Anglica and her stright forward concep I have renewed alot. For I did not know how to answer my husand other than we do not worship Mary we honor her. I knew better than to talk back to my mother. I thought it a time or two but knew better than to voice it. I did once not intended for her but for my sisters and brother that were teasing me and she let me know that shut up was not in her vocabulary. Or the time she told me not to wear socks when my brother was riding me on his bike because they could get caught in the spokes well guess what I did it anyway and my foot went right into the spokes. Didn’t break anything but hurt like the dickens. I’ve heard that because I said so many times in my life. and have used the phrase myself a time or two. But when it comes to husbands I am totally naive I guess you will call it I love my husband always have I do not like the sin that rains within him. The anger the cheating the rest of it. You know everyone else does it. Marriage to him is just two names on a piece of paper. And that contract can be broken when ever he gets the urge to break it. He has moved in with other women set up appartments with them the one that broke the camels back was the one he found in a bar brought her home hired her and lived in a motel room with her for 5 years paying her expenses.
She is his friend and if the children and I didn’t like it we could leave we did. He is a person that blames everyone else for his short comings for it has always been someone else that got him into trouble. I went into court to settle some retirement questions. And as I set there by my self with no representation for my attorney took her $25,000 dollars and left town. I findly realized for 40 years I was only going steady. He never wore his wedding ring because it hurt his hand. I gave my son my table that was in my home for 40 years and when he came back to see our grandson off to Iraq they all set around that table with his new wife and talked of me it was like I was dead a gone. I got lecture after lecture about we have to be resposible for our own actions does that make him exempt? Now I am an exemption for him and his new wife. She had been married years ago and she was getting alimoney she lost that when she married him so now I have to pay for that. The IRS has said when he offered me $25,000 of his half of the house we sold he put it down as alimoney. There was no profit made on that house it was paid for out of the money we made which was taxed already. So I am now paying taxes on that money for 6 months of last year I lived on $99 dollars a week after they took the money out of my pay check. Is this a pentence for being a faithful wife?. Oh he is going to pile everything up in the house and burn it down or he is going to come up here kill me and burn the house down. And well they only way they can harm him if is he does it on a no burn day. He tries to push his new wife off as my childrens step mother. He wants them to call her mom she has had nothing to do with my children she doesn’t even know them. My children tell him she is not their mother they have a mother she is just his wife. Oh he sets and tells everyone that he still loves me I am the mother of his children and that he didn’t want this divorce but he didn’t want to give up his playing the field either always looking for someone better.
A couple of weeks ago my middle daughter was in a casino and Father Gill was in there someone made a stupid statement that whats he doing here and she stood up and said quote when he comes in here it is our job to serve him when we go to his place of business it is his buisness to serve us. She said mom that made me so made to think someone judges some one because he is a man of the cloth. I guess they think that Priests are not to enjoy themselves. My aunt beat the socks off of a priest years ago in a card game and the next sunday at sunday dinner he brought her a framed royal fulsh it hung in her dinning room for years. We always had a priest for sunday dinner growing up they came to bless our homes and to let us know they are human too. We serve them and they serve us simple as that. I belieive in the holy Catholic church the community of saints the forgiveness of sins and life everlasting. Amen
 
The church where I went to MASS today has relics of St. Monica’s… I think I may go to MASS again, just to spend some more time praying for my family.

I am in a different boat than you ladies, not being married myself. I still feel a desire to pray daily for St. Monica’s intercession, however, as though I am not praying for any children or a spouse, having neither, I am praying for both of my parents, a step-parent, and seven siblings… not to mention the rest of my family.

Today has been, however, a beautiful day (though I am getting ready for classes to begin tomorrow), full of prayer and laughter and joy for me.

You are all in my prayers, as I hope I am in yours.

in Christ forever,
Esther Rose
 
Hi all

Just to share a bit of good news. I went to early Mass this sunday and when I returned I found out DH had already left for the later Mass. First time he’s been to Mass for several months. Keep the prayers going. I am hoping he will continue going and maybe even joining the rest of the family at Mass. Going by himself is a start though:)
 
mnmom said:
Hi all

Just to share a bit of good news. I went to early Mass this sunday and when I returned I found out DH had already left for the later Mass. First time he’s been to Mass for several months. Keep the prayers going. I am hoping he will continue going and maybe even joining the rest of the family at Mass. Going by himself is a start though:)
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You know what, my husband has been doing the same thing, too. He’s driving out of town to go to mass, but I don’t care about that- I’m just glad he’s going somewhere!
 
mnmom and mommyof4, that’s great about your husbands going to Mass, even if they’re not going with you yet. 😉 Stay strong. 🙂
 
Greetings, all!

I am on day 30 of the 54 day novena, and I cannot believe I have made it this far! Obviously the grace of God at work.The “thanksgiving” portion of the novena is actually very uplifting to pray!

A thought for the days we feel like putting it off - the evil one would love to see us quit our faith-filled prayer for our husbands. Let’s not gie the evil one any satisfaction!!

My relationship with hubby is gradually improving, we are both more gentle and loving with one another, more patient, more prone to compromise and sacrifice for one another.

This past weekend, I was reminded of my husband’s great strength in being there for others in time of need. We are aquainted with a family with some seriously dysfunctional issues, and they faced a serious crisis. My hubby handled the crisis in a discreet and respectful manner for these people. It really reminded me of his good character, I was very proud of him.

I was also in a position to live my faith very overtly, and as others noted my deep prayer life, and commented on it to my husband, he was also requesting that I pray…now HE is not the one doing the praying (yet) but for him to be comfortable with my overt prayer life, and to ask for me to pray for a situation, that is something.

We must celebrate the joys, right?

Prayers for you all…
 
I got to day 10 and then I missed a few days. So I am deciding to being the novena again on Sept 1st. :o I didn’t think one could just say 3 prayers in a row to St Monica to make up for the days I missed. :confused: I don’t know novena rules, I am pretty new to it all.

I will have to send my hubby the page with the table on it for each day then, to print.

Off to pray my rosary…
 
Heather, you have done 1 novena already. You can choose to start thanking to complete it (9 days), or start another one of petitioning. I would just pick up right where I left off and try to finish what I started. Satan tries to make us feel like failures. Just remember, when we are praying the rosary, Our Lady is right there praying with us, she makes up for anything that we are lacking. The 54 day novena calls for 6 novenas.

God Bless

Day 7
 
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