Strong Desire to Attend Mass, But Not Catholic

[CSUNGerrie]

… You are more and more awakening to the fact, to the truth, that you have a living soul. There is a spiritual reality and you and we all live in it, whether or not we are aware of it, but your awareness seems to be growing very rapidly. I am reading what you write and am astounded at the speed of change. We all are blind to ourselves in a way. We see ourselves sometimes through one another’s eyes. So I am reading about this woman who had a pretty amazing life, a short while ago felt drawn to attend Mass, and in almost lightning speed has happiliy discovered Eucharistic Adoration, is drawn to it, and is drawing grace and pleasure from this spiritual exercise and praying the Rosary. You seem so nonchalant about it all and unamazed, like it is all perfectly normal. Well I am amazed. It is like watching an infant go from saying mama, to speaking in sentences in a week.

Yes! This is exactly what I think as I read this forum. I am amazed how quickly you are growing spiritually. It almost shames me as I think about my own spiritual desire within the catholic church. You are an inspiration to many of us. I cant wait to see what God uses you for. I praise God because of you.

 

[Angela11]

Yikes, please don’t recommend going forward with “arms crossed for a blessing” on an international forum; this is only a local custom in some places - it’s not part of the Mass, and the vast majority of priests have never even heard of this custom, other than in the few places where it exists. The vast majority of priests assume that those coming forward are coming to receive Holy Communion, and it could be very confusing for all concerned.

I am sure you meant well, but the best thing for a non-Catholic to do (unless told and invited otherwise by the priest himself) is to simply remain in the pew and pray an Act of Spiritual Holy Communion.

Not to distract from the main theme of this thread (which is truly amazing to read…) Thanks again Judith for sharing your amazing story will all of us following along!!!

So, I had never realized that going up for a blessing wasn’t more universal than it apparently is? For the places where it is a foreign practice, what about the children that haven’t received their First Communion? Do they sit in the pews waiting for the parents/older siblings to return? Or do they go up for a blessing? And if they do go up for a blessing, how is it known if the child has or hasn’t had their First Communion? Does the Priest/Eucharistic Minister just know all of those who can/can’t receive? I’m just curious to understand how it’s done elsewhere! I think that every Mass I’ve ever been to has children and adults going up to receive blessings if they’re not receiving the Eucharist! Of course seeing people staying in the pews is not abnormal either. Anyway, if someone has a quick answer, I’d appreciate it. And sorry again for posting it in this thread, but I kind of figured I’d have quicker responses and didn’t think it worthy of starting a whole new thread on the topic.

 

[jmcrae]

So, I had never realized that going up for a blessing wasn’t more universal than it apparently is? For the places where it is a foreign practice, what about the children that haven’t received their First Communion?

Normally they go up quietly with their parents, wait for them to receive, and then come back with them to the pew. The parents indicate to the priest that the children are not receiving Holy Communion with a simple shake of the head.

In other places, children too young to receive Holy Communion may receive blessings, but not non-Catholic adults.

 

[Angela11]

Normally they go up quietly with their parents, wait for them to receive, and then come back with them to the pew. The parents indicate to the priest that the children are not receiving Holy Communion with a simple shake of the head.

In other places, children too young to receive Holy Communion may receive blessings, but not non-Catholic adults.

Thanks for the quick response!

 

[Al_Masetti]

This is the most remarkable thread I have ever read here on CAF!

In fact, I read the whole thing in one sitting (with one stretch break).

I wanted to recommend a book or two, but other posters have beat me to it! But, here is one that is a favorite of mine: “Weeds Among the Wheat” by Fr. Thomas Green. Ave Maria Press. It may be available internationally or in overseas Catholic bookstores because Fr. Green worked in the Philippines most of his life. Just passed away a few weeks ago. Anyway, it’s one of those books that you can just dive into anywhere and, in my experience, after a page or two my mind blows.

Also, Magnificat has daily readings, is published monthly and is mailed a couple of months ahead of schedule. www.magnificat.com

[But mostly, I just wanted to bookmark this thread so I can come back to it.]

 

[grandfather]

Not to distract from the main theme of this thread (which is truly amazing to read…) Thanks again Judith for sharing your amazing story will all of us following along!!!

So, I had never realized that going up for a blessing wasn’t more universal than it apparently is? For the places where it is a foreign practice, what about the children that haven’t received their First Communion? Do they sit in the pews waiting for the parents/older siblings to return? Or do they go up for a blessing? And if they do go up for a blessing, how is it known if the child has or hasn’t had their First Communion? Does the Priest/Eucharistic Minister just know all of those who can/can’t receive? I’m just curious to understand how it’s done elsewhere! I think that every Mass I’ve ever been to has children and adults going up to receive blessings if they’re not receiving the Eucharist! Of course seeing people staying in the pews is not abnormal either. Anyway, if someone has a quick answer, I’d appreciate it. And sorry again for posting it in this thread, but I kind of figured I’d have quicker responses and didn’t think it worthy of starting a whole new thread on the topic.

Children should either sit in the pew, or small ones can go with their parents. The head rub is an American novelty. It is a folk practice. It is not part of the rubrics.

Let’s think about what is happening. Jesus is present to all in the Church and all are being blessed by being in His divine presence. Imagine that you were walking down the street with your parish priest. You turn a corner and find the Lord Jesus standing in front of both of you. What would you do? Would you turn to your parish priest and ask him for his blessing? I doubt you would ever do that. In addition to this being an ill advised and theologically problematic custom that has gotten legs in this country and spread, it diminishes faith in the Real Presence, When you are at Mass you are in the presence of Jesus, body, blood, soul and divinity. Why would you want the priest to give you a blessing?

The way it is done elsewhere and has always been done everywhere since recently in this country is people who do not receive stay in their pew. It is really not that traumatic at all. This is not part of the Mass, not for kids or adults.

 

[Al_Masetti]

Children should either sit in the pew, or small ones can go with their parents. The head rub is an American novelty. It is a folk practice. It is not part of the rubrics.

Let’s think about what is happening. Jesus is present to all in the Church and all are being blessed by being in His divine presence. Imagine that you were walking down the street with your parish priest. You turn a corner and find the Lord Jesus standing in front of both of you. What would you do? Would you turn to your parish priest and ask him for his blessing? I doubt you would ever do that. In addition to this being an ill advised and theologically problematic custom that has gotten legs in this country and spread, it diminishes faith in the Real Presence, When you are at Mass you are in the presence of Jesus, body, blood, soul and divinity. Why would you want the priest to give you a blessing?

The way it is done elsewhere and has always been done everywhere since recently in this country is people who do not receive stay in their pew. It is really not that traumatic at all. This is not part of the Mass, not for kids or adults.

Prior to the dubious “innovation” of having EVERYONE come up to receive Holy Communion and having that practice ENFORCED by the ushers dragging people out of the pews [in the interest of reduced traffic congestion] … it was customary for families to have the parents go up for Communion separately. One parent would stay with the kids, while the other went up right away and then when the first parent returned, the other parent would go up while the first parent stayed with the kids.

 

[EvelynEVF]

Al, thanks for posting that. I had always wondered what parents of little kids did back when. Mine followed me up but neither wanted to receive the blessing, so they stayed behind me and then ducked away. Now they are old enough to stay in the pew.

 

[Susan_Calvin]

I’m back. Its good to have internet at home again, I really missed it! I’m happy to read all the posts written in my absense though. The posts about going up for a blessing are interesting to me. I’m glad to hear not everyone agrees with the practice. I don’t have an opinion per se, don’t feel I have a right to an opinion at this point… but I personally don’t want to do it. I think it would be embarrassing. I might as well have a huge “Hey I’m not Catholic” sign on my back! Seriously though I’m glad its not something expected. I just stay in the pew. I have seen other people stay in the pew at times also, so I’m not the only one.

Prior to the dubious “innovation” of having EVERYONE come up to receive Holy Communion and having that practice ENFORCED by the ushers dragging people out of the pews [in the interest of reduced traffic congestion] …

We don’t have ushers that I’ve ever seen. Is that also something in the USA particularly? In any event, thanks for this discussion. And thanks Al for the book recommendations! I will definitely check them out.

 

[chewchoo]

I’m back. Its good to have internet at home again, I really missed it! I’m happy to read all the posts written in my absense though.

welcome back

 

[Susan_Calvin]

Chewchoo, thanks for the welcome back.

I believe, being a bit of an academic myself, your research into the Church will not only leave you excited, but you will find peace in the thought of being a Catholic and being in full communion with the Church.

I hope you’re right in that I find peace. I’m certainly very excited with what I am learning thus far. Apart from studying the catechism, I am reading The Way of Perfection by St. Teresa of Avila. The Sister who’s teaching me warned me it would be very difficult but so far I love it!! I can’t wait to read and learn more.

BacaRanch:

Jesus was a Rabbi.

Jesus was a rabbi??? Wow I didn’t know that… I mean I know they call him “Rabbi” in the Gospels but I didn’t realize he actually was a rabbi… I thought it was just a title of respect his followers gave him.

BacaRanch:

I believe that you will find that the Jews and Catholics have much in common. We share several thousand years of common history in our faiths. After all, Jesus was born a Jew, He lived as a Jew, and He died a Jew. Jesus was always respectful of Jewish traditions and customs. I believe that it is this situation that led Pope Pius XI to state: “Spiritually, we are Semites.”

Yes I’m learning that there are many similarities, its really quite cool. Though to be honest I will need to learn more about Judaism to really appreciate how my heritage is connected to Catholicism. I was raised secular so my knowledge about Judaism is very limited.

 

[grandfather]

We don’t have ushers that I’ve ever seen. Is that also something in the USA particularly? In any event, thanks for this discussion. And thanks Al for the book recommendations! I will definitely check them out.

In my parish in the U.S. there are typically no ushers, thank God. In some parishes there are a handful of men (some have women) who wear some distinctive color sports jackets. They walk up to the front pews and the people file out to go up to receive Communion. Then they move back a pew and that row files out. It is a puzzle as to why this practice ever got started. Ushers also take up the collection and maybe hand out parish bulletins. Having bulletins on a table near the door is not adequate I guess. It probably is a U.S. innovation. Everyone has to have something to do to feel important.

Before there were ushers the collection was taken by a couple of guys who were known to the priest.

There are times when ushers are helpful, like big holidays, funerals, weddings, when there are a lot of visitors and people are kind of confused about where to find a seat.

Remember when reading my comments that I am a curmudgeon, an old grouch. When I signed up for the forums I tried to take the name Cranky, but I think it was taken. I generally don’t like innovations that make worship seem like a performance, or that serve no purpose.

In the past not everyone went to Communion at every Mass. Sometimes people did not know themselves if they would go to receive. They stayed kneeling in their places in prayer and might get up and go forward sometime during the time Communion was being distributed. Now when an usher stands next to your pew it is “Let’s go, move it now”.

 

[Susan_Calvin]

I was so excited by your MIRACULOUS story, with God’s providential interventions and “hints” at every turn, that I too stayed up way past midnight last night to read the entire string of messages here. WOW!

I never ceased to be amazed at how many people are reading and enjoying this thread, and contributing to it. It really humbles me…

Rustyxcv:

Modern science as we know it was FOUNDED by the Roman Catholic Church, has been generously supported by her for centuries, and is peopled by many leading researchers and theorists who are priests, religious, and devout lay persons.

Yes, I agree, there have been (and continue to be I’m sure) fantastic scientists throughout the ages who were Catholic. Its very exciting and a relief to me to know the Church is not anti-science. I would have a difficult time with that. My whole life and profession is based on science so it would be pretty devastating.

Rustyxcv:

Every time you were seeking the truth, winnowing out error and falsehood, in your scientific work and your research studies you were drawing closer to God and practicing a very effective form of active prayer. Likewise, in your efforts of charity and love toward to those around you, especially the friend who has become harsh and rejecting, you were also praying in earnest, acting as a “little-Christ,” a true Christian.

Yes I’m beginning to see that now… that God was always with me, helping me… its really quite amazing. I’m looking at myself, my childhood, my whole life - in a completely new way.

Rustyxcv:

Someone on the string has said that your conversion experience was rare – that is, a conversion not fraught with doubts, difficulties, and intellectual objections. Among those who have led comfortable lives in cultured and educated surroundings this may well be true. But for those who have had difficult childhoods and significant elements of cruelty in their previous lives, your type of conversion is very common.

That makes a lot of sense. I was wondering myself why I wasn’t having so much difficulty, because I really am not. I feel almost like I should be struggling with this more than I am. But your explanation is very good, thanks!

Rustyxcv:

Last, you may wish to go through the RCIA process and receive confirmation and your first communion at Easter next year. I am sure that you would find this very meaningful, healing, and fulfilling. But . . . if you have already decided to become a Roman Catholic, a Christian, or at that point at which you do make a clear decision, if it should come any time soon . . . I cannot urge you strongly enough to consider being baptized thereafter. Any priest, deacon, or sincere lay person can perform this sacrament for you. You may wish to speak to your priest about it. If you have already reached this stage, it would be truly WONDERFUL and a great blessing for you and for THEM to receive this sacrament when you go to visit the Sisters from your childhood this summer. It can be easily arranged.

Oh? I haven’t spoken to my priest about being baptized, I really don’t know much about it. I thought (assumed) my baptism and confirmation would happen in short succession after I was finished my studies. I didn’t know there was the option to be baptized right away.

 

[Susan_Calvin]

Remember when reading my comments that I am a curmudgeon, an old grouch. When I signed up for the forums I tried to take the name Cranky, but I think it was taken.

Oh haha that’s funny. I’m trying to picture you now. There are a lot of older people in my church. Actually the majority who come to the weekday mass are 55+. I’m one of the youngest who attends regularly during the week, though occasionally someone brings a child. I discovered recently that the older people recite the rosary together about 45 minutes prior to the start of mass, so I’ve started coming earlier to say it with them. I’ve very slowly been moving up in the pews, I started out at the very back pew and now I’m very close behind the older people who all sit together at the front.

grandfather:

I generally don’t like innovations that make worship seem like a performance, or that serve no purpose.

It makes sense you feel that way. Me, I like scientific innovations but that is a completely different thing. Mass is different. Even in the short time I’ve been at mass, I’ve gotten used to it being a certain way and I like it the way it is. I think it would bother me too if things were changed or added which seemed unnecessary.

grandfather:

In the past not everyone went to Communion at every Mass. Sometimes people did not know themselves if they would go to receive. They stayed kneeling in their places in prayer and might get up and go forward sometime during the time Communion was being distributed.

Hmm, that’s interesting. I wonder if that’s where the rule about going to Holy Communion at least once each year comes from?

grandfather:

Now when an usher stands next to your pew it is “Let’s go, move it now”.

But what about if someone is in a state of mortal sin? Then you aren’t supposed to go to Holy Communion. I would stay in my seat in that case, I wouldn’t care what anyone thought. But what if someone felt embarrassed? I would worry they would go up to receive anyhow, just to not look out of place. Maybe I am overthinking it, but that’s what immediately comes to mind.

Anyways I’m glad there aren’t any ushers here. Now I know a bit about how mass works, but if I had encountered ushers when I first went to mass, I likely would have gotten up, I wouldn’t have known I was allowed to “refuse” the ushers and stay put.

 

[grandfather]

Chewchoo, thanks for the welcome back.

Jesus was a rabbi??? Wow I didn’t know that… I mean I know they call him “Rabbi” in the Gospels but I didn’t realize he actually was a rabbi… I thought it was just a title of respect his followers gave him.

I think rabbi simply means teacher. In Latin the word is majester. So you will soon encounter the word majesterium, as in the majestium of the Church. Jesus gave authority to His apostles to teach. This is in the Bible. He commanded them to go into all the nations of the world and teach what He taught them. He told them that He would stand behind their teaching. He said what they bound on earth He would bind in heaven. So we are taught the faith and you two thousand years later are learning it through the apostolic teaching authority of His Church. He said to them that there was much He wanted to tell them, but they could not bear it (understand) yet. He said He would send the Holy Spirit who would lead them into ALL truth, and He would be with them until the end of time. He said He would never leave us orphans, but be with us. How do we know what the Church professes in the form of doctrine or dogma is true? Jesus made these promises to us. The Church can not teach what is false in matters of faith or morals, or His promises have failed.

I have thought about how you came to this point, from the time your mother was expelled from her family or community in Brooklyn and what became of her, to the time you started this now lengthy thread and the reception you have received. Everyone is thrilled that you want to be one of us. No one cares a bit about what your past is or your mother’s. You could be a Jew or an Eskimo, a drug addict or prostitute, a math genius or mentally handicapped. We don’t care. God does not care. We want you, welcome you, and you make us happy simply because you want us. That is evident from the things people have written. God wants you. He made you, He loves you and He wants to be with you forever.

There is one qualification you must have if you are going to enter the Church. This will make you like the rest of us, your priest and the nun who teaches you. You have to be broken, fallen, sinful. Jesus came to heal the wounded. Who did Mother Teresa love? Who did she serve? The wounded and most needy. She knew how valuable they are to God.

If you are not wounded and in need you are wasting your time with Christianity. You should play golf on Sundays, or go to the beach. Jesus said to the pharisees that He came for sinners, but they said they had no sin, so they had no need of Him. There was nothing He could do for them. So if your soul needs mending and care you have come to the right place. If you are whole, or see yourself that way, you are making a mistake.

There is one other thing that is necessary according to Jesus if you want to come to Him. He says we have to be like little children.

The reason God saves us is He pities us. We are proud and don’t want to be pitied. Can you imagine anything more pitiable than a wounded child? God has had His eye on you for a very long time, even before you were born. He has always loved you.

 

[Always_For_Him]

grandfather, you are NO grump. You are a loving, big-hearted, and humble man. I love reading what you write. Thank you for spelling everything out for all of us to understand. May God continue to bless you and make you “forget” to be grumpy!!!

 

[Always_For_Him]

Judith,

Ditto, what grandfather wrote. I certainly couldn’t say it any better. I could butcher it though!!!

I have never been made to go up to communion. The ushers simply move backwards from pew to pew. When the usher gets to your pew, those who want to go to communion get up and walk to the center isle to go to communion. The others sit back to let the others out, and then kneel again. When those coming back from communion need to get back into the pew from the side isle, those still kneeling sit back to let them in and then kneel again.

You are not overthinking it. You are right, there are people who go to communion because they don’t want to be embarassed that they are not going to communion. They are bringing damnation onto themselves by doing so. Never go to communion if you are not in a state of grace. It is good to go to confession on a regular basis to stay in God’s grace. You have a good head on your shoulders. I look forward to the day when you receive your first communion.

There is no need to wait to get baptized. You can do it as soon as you feel ready. Some people do get baptized and confirmed in quick order, but it doesn’t have to be that way. Most of us are baptized as babies. It would be a great gift to the Sisters when you go on holiday to visit and work with them to have them arrange a priest and witness your baptism. That was a beautiful idea. I know this is such a personal choice for you. You will know when you are ready.

I’m glad you are back. I hope that you are totally over your illness and caught up with everything. That sidelined you for a while. I am glad to hear you are reading The Way To Perfection. Usually when I am told that it is a hard read, it is REALLY a hard read for me. You have been given many good book titles to read. We could keep you busy for years reading!!!

Have a great day!

 

[altabz]

attention to all devouted catholics at this site christianster.com, a non catholic forum site they’re lambasting our catholic church i started the defences but they were to many of them. if you want to join in your free to go defend our faith…!!!

 

[grandfather]

grandfather, you are NO grump. You are a loving, big-hearted, and humble man. I love reading what you write. Thank you for spelling everything out for all of us to understand. May God continue to bless you and make you “forget” to be grumpy!!!

I think you are wrong. Let’s ask my wife about this. She would know. I kind of like being a curmudgeon.

I don’t think things were always better in the old days. There are always things that need fixing and improvement, but here is how old guys get cranky.

Lots of things work just fine and there are people who have a hormonal problem that can’t leave anything alone. If its red they have to make it blue. Take my wife for example. She has female furniture moving hormones, a bad case of them. I could come home from work tomorrow and find the entire living room turned backwards. I wonder why would a grown person do something like spending their day doing this. I know there are women reading this that probably might struggle with these same hormones. There is hope. Most of the time when flare ups happen they can be managed. They spike during pregnancy and menopause. If they persist there is always hope for you in psychotherapy.

Another way this disorder manifests itself is she does something like moving a lamp six inches, or changing the kitchen curtains around. That pleases her. When I come home she says, “Well”… pause. This is never good. I know immediately what is coming. “Do you notice anything”? Nice new blouse honey. She says she has had the blouse two years and I am hopeless. This is how curmudgeons are made.

Besides suffering severe humiliation for being hopeless going on forty years resulting from matrimonial vows, I have four daughters also resulting from same. Now they are grown I am doing fine, but when they were teenagers I was a total nitwit.

Maybe this discussion should be moved to Catholic family life. The OP isn’t married and knows nothing about this.

 

[chewchoo]

Everyone has to have something to do to feel important.

sadly many priests feel this way. i have seen bulletin articles where the priest says, sign up to be a lector, a Eucharistic minister, an usher, etc so that the mass is more important to you by your participation. do they not understand the mass or what? we can participate fully by just staying in our pew the entire mass.