Tell an outrageous lie about the previous poster REVIVED

  • Thread starter Thread starter Hawkmaid7
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I feel terrible [except on payday…]about getting the GEICO gecko job that Hawkmaid wanted so desperately…she heard that they were looking for ‘cute’, so she dressed up in her junior high cheerleader outfit, painted oversize freckles on her face, and rode to the tryout on her [in]famous bicycle [the red Murray with the balloon tires, training wheels, and handlebar-mounted basket…she even added streamers to the handlebar grips…].
The GEICO crew took one look at her, and sent her next door, where they were casting for the part of ‘Little Debbie’…the woman in charge there was an elderly former WWI nurse, who saw the ‘freckles’, and immediately thought ‘Smallpox!!’…she had Hawkmaid sent to the nearest hospital and put in quarantine…she’s still there, and probably will be for the foreseeable future - there isn’t a doctor in the area who’s seen smallpox, so the quarantine will remain in effect until they find one…
 
Boldly laughed when he saw me escorted away, but he forgot what he looked like…

A green spandex suit stretched nice and tight over his whole body and the cone he put over his face (“Real lizards have snouts” is a bumper sticker on his car), making him look like a green 1960’s Adam West Batman…but instead of bats, it was Geckos.

Geckoman strode into the tryout, about to launch into his city-saving shpiel; "I can save 15% or more - " but his “of citizens” was cut off by the director leaping to his feet and shouting “Him! He’s the one!!!”

And thus, the GEICO gecko was born!
 
GEICO walrus goalie, here.
@boldlygo

Well, don’t worry @Hawkmaid7 I sat on that little, green Gecko and he lost all his green color and freckles came out all over him. He will recover, and he will need therapy for a few days. (Please Note: This uploaded content is no longer available.)
 
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I honestly can’t think of a lie bigger than that, as we all know because of your hemorrhoids you can’t sit anywhere!
 
I don’t have to sit anywhere, and that cute walrus was just one of my favorite workers. Medical terms are just not my concern, or high school days gone by. Batman is not real. And Geckos don’t drive or even sell insurance.
It is a pity you live in time. The past does not exist and the future is one second away. And even a second soon is gone. But have no fear when time is no more, it is then that the divine last forever and Hawks will not need maids or air to fly. And boldly will go with a humble stride.
 
Divine cannot lay off mushrooms, as they are integral to Divine’s survival.
(Please Note: This uploaded content is no longer available.)
It is for this reason that Divine is slightly taller than should be.

Hawkmaid, however, is jealous that these mushrooms are of no benefit to things that fly, nor to maids.
Luckily, Dougbro is keeping a few of these for himself, just in case he needs a good growth spurt.
 

Hawkmaid has a few friends seen in this clip. And she is higher than a kite.
 
How else am I supposed to bring you your Old Spice? You’re so dang huge now!!
 
Doug bro knows that fungus is just not my path to higher realities. I see he is trying to help Hawkmaid stay in tune with the highs and lows of life. Boldly needs to go far beyond the physical because his feet keep getting stuck in mud. And if he is not careful mud can turn into quick sand. We want more for boldly than his view of the material world.
 
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Hawkmaid7 said:
In other words, when Doughbro needs to rise , he can!
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Ironically, that’s not even a lie, outrageous or otherwise.
Divine3 said:
Hawkmaid has a few friends seen in this clip. And she is higher than a kite.
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But where are the maids?
Divine3 said:
The vastness of Space.

You are right, Hawkmaid …I am vast
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Divine needs to be careful as some could use that as a slur on Divine’s weight. Maybe Divine doesn’t need a mushroom in the first place 🤔🍄
 
Divine realities are hard to grasp from those who live in the shallow west. They walk with chained feet and their eyes are blinded by a media in its secular defeat. Divine eats nothing; but keeps hoping that hawks with maids and brother doughs will boldly go on a narrow path even if all their so called friends choose a wider path that ends in a void of no return.
 
Divine said this as she rubbed a crystal ball, but not for superstitious reasons, oh no! Her friends decided to buy her an upgraded pet rock.

This one is named Shiny, and it likes pets and warm hugs.
 
Hawkmaid has her own pet rock named Rocky McStone. She likes to take Rocky with her when she goes on trips. Especially on planes. He’s her support rock.
 

My how did you find out Hawkmaids secret ? Martura you amaze me. I would just enjoy a day where I could keep Hawkmaid in my heavenly yard, but she enjoys her freedom and those maids are always catering to her every need.
 
Divine3 said:
I am vast
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Vast is an understatement…
Devine3, Andy Devine’s third cousin, decided to follow in his footsteps, and seek fame and fortune in Hollywood…the fame came almost immediately, as she was cast as Jabba the Hutt in another Star Wars prequel…Jabba the Hutt weighs 2,994 lbs, and Devine3, with a little makeup and her ‘vastness’, hit that mark with ease…she’s now in the Hollywood Hall of Fame, listed as four times the size of Gentle Ben.
 
Boldly is just weighed down with thoughts of fat, fat and more fat. All he eats is beef and swine. Poor Boldly hasn’t even seen a real cow. His eyes are only on the outward appearances of things, animals and people. When, oh when will Boldly seek beyond the flesh? Star Wars and all these unreal dramas, are just visual stimulation for Boldly, as he chomps on giant size buttered popcorn . He thinks he sees Divine as a very large being, but Boldly lives in an illusion that comes from media brain freeze…it is a tragic situation and disease which only discipline and divine help can cure.
 
Divine will cure it alright; it’s not just Boldly’s condition that has him seeing how big her needle is!

“And it won’t hurt a bit” were the last words Boldly heard for a few days as she sharpened the tip with a pool cue…
 
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