Tell an outrageous lie about the previous poster REVIVED

  • Thread starter Thread starter Hawkmaid7
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Wow! The only one of our old pals from the original forum who could have pulled that off was the Fabled Bearded Legend [aka fbl9, aka ‘The Legend’], an 8-foot-tall, 450 lb sasquatch with superhuman strength, who also had a soft spot in his heart for rugrats…he just might have carried that giant keg all that way by himself just because he’s such a nice guy…
[See post #108 of this thread]
Long story short, the frat boys down the street didn’t appreciate that vicious lie…finals week came and went…the sorority house was vacant between terms, and the frat boys got their revenge.
They bought, at great expense, two kegs of 'The Legend’s favorite beer, Caribou Slobber, put them on the lawn in front of the sorority house, and told ‘The Legend’ about the delivery…as the frat boys watched in awe, ‘The Legend’ hoisted one keg above his head with one hand, tapped it with the other, and chugged the whole thing…repeat performance with the other.
The resulting sonic belch leveled the sorority house…‘The Legend’ then went to the barn, freed Tiny, and rode him out of town.
When school resumed, the frat boys told the sisters of Tappa Kegga Beer what had happened…how they lost their house and their mascot…
Needless to say, Hawkmaid is no longer a pledge…she’s been ‘banned’ by all the sororities, and now lives in an abandoned garage behind ‘Pizza King’, a few blocks off campus…at least, she got to keep her bike…
 
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Sometimes, all you need in life is a bike.

[I knew I forgot somebody, much apologies to The Legend! On that note, do you have some sort of composite list of all our adventures? I’d love to read them chronologically]

Sadly, one doesn’t sleep very well when living in an abandoned garage, so I don’t have much to offer in this tale. All I know is that the trash cans outside the door a few weeks ago were returned yesterday with suspicious, armor-shaped holes chopped raggedly into them.
 
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Hawkmaid7 said:
On that note, do you have some sort of composite list of all our adventures? I’d love to read them chronologically]
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[When I found out that the old site was closing, I took the time to read all three volumes…many notable contributors came and went, and there were some fine lies and tall tales…unfortunately, geezer that I am, I didn’t have the technical know-how to preserve those threads for posterity…]
 
boldlygo said:
[When I found out that the old site was closing, I took the time to read all three volumes…many notable contributors came and went, and there were some fine lies and tall tales…unfortunately, geezer that I am, I didn’t have the technical know-how to preserve those threads for posterity…]
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Alas! Well, geezer that you are, that must mean you have a better attention span than all of my peers put together, meaning I’m sure you can reconstruct the entire 3 volumes from memory, right?
 
That’s very diligent!

It was disappointing that the back fence and club house didn’t carry over to this format.
 
Hawkmaid and Boldlygo volunteer weekly as taste testers for the “Can’t believe it’s not butter”

They need to keep eating bread with the faux butter until they exclaim “I can’t believe it’s not butter!”
 
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Hawkmaid7 said:
Your turn to lie up a tree, my friend!
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What a coincidence!!
F_Marturana has a new pastime - she likes to dress in green camo, hide in a tall tree, and, in a Tiny Tim falsetto, scream insults at passersby until she draws a crowd…then, she drops to the ground, does a tapdance while singing ‘Tiptoe Through the Tulips’, takes a bow, and disappears into the underbrush.
 
…While Boldly creeps through the crowd asking for tips and testing pocket depths…
 

But how could Hawkmaid even have a flying clue of this chirping bird song… But Bold you go…now he remembers…the good old days. And can Maturana sing? We know she can dance.
 
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Divine3 once left a work computer unattended and still hasn’t noticed the hilarious email signature set by a coworker.
 
ZMysticat’s coworkers chipped in and gave him a nicely-wrapped gift last Christmas…when he got home, he opened it, and found a toothbrush, toothpaste, mouthwash, a few combs, shampoo, several bars of soap, and a few deodorant sticks…never having used any of these things previously, he was totally confused, put them back in the box, and stashed it in the back corner of his closet.
He has yet to figure out why his coworkers recently moved his desk to the parking lot…
 
Boldly’s pleased though because that means when Z wanders off to hunt crawfish in the lil creek (runoff from said parking lot), he can rummage through the desk!

One stapler, three pens with no ink, two bottle caps of questionable age (one has a wax seal), and five hundred mini packets of salt and mustard later, Boldly is cooking up a scheme…

Or just the mustard packets.
 
So. Ah. Now come on…what did they write? You , you, you have to tell me…you know! 😱
 
boldlygo said:
He has yet to figure out why his coworkers recently moved his desk to the parking lot…
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So, actually true story: There is a mini fridge near my team’s pod that we’ve deemed toxic due to some forgotten, rotting stuff inside. No one wants to clean it out because no one wants to deal with the smell. Our plan is to duct tape it shut and throw it out, but no one has gotten around to that. Until that’s done (or until I transfer to a new office), though, my desk is the closest to that fridge. My guess is the transfer will come first, despite being six months out if I go through with it.
Divine3 said:
So. Ah. Now come on…what did they write? You , you, you have to tell me…you know! 😱
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The signature says:
Love,

(Please Note: This uploaded content is no longer available.)
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You have probably missed it because the actual image used is a gif that doesn’t show anything until after 5 - 10 seconds.
 
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ZMystiCat said:
So, actually true story: There is a mini fridge near my team’s pod that we’ve deemed toxic due to some forgotten, rotting stuff inside. No one wants to clean it out because no one wants to deal with the smell. Our plan is to duct tape it shut and throw it out, but no one has gotten around to that. Until that’s done (or until I transfer to a new office), though, my desk is the closest to that fridge. My guess is the transfer will come first, despite being six months out if I go through with it.
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Geez louise, good luck with that!
ZMystiCat said:
You have probably missed it because the actual image used is a gif that doesn’t show anything until after 5 - 10 seconds.
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I straight up don’t believe you XD
 
I am still waiting to see him move…I am afraid I might be here forever. I will accept the (love ) as the signature and hope the little bear is a good little fellow.
 
Devine3, Andy Devine’s third cousin, fell hard off her diet…
Her cousin, a nice, compassionate guy, concerned about her health, suggested she take up a sport to get back in shape…
Long story short, she was the inspiration behind the GEICO walrus goalie.
 
And suddenly Boldly’s green icon makes way more sense as he is the infamous GEICO gecko!
 
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