Tell an Outrageous Lie about the Previous Poster, Vol. III

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Greenfields came out rehab with a new habit, drinking lemon juice. Greenfields can down a quart, straight up, of lemon juice in one sitting.
 
Brother Gov was the chaplain at the rehab facility…kind-hearted soul that he is, he couldn’t bear to see patients going through withdrawal…he hid squirrel poop in his beard, and sold it for an obscene profit…
 
Brother Gov grew up watching Iron Chef America, idolizing both the chefs and their wonderful preparations…he knew that someday…someday…
For years now, Brother Gov has been preparing gourmet meals at the abbey, honing his skills for someday…someday…
‘Someday’ came last week…Brother Gov was chosen as the guest celebrity chef, and faced Iron Chef Bobby Flay…when the Chairman revealed the secret ingredient, the battle was over before it could start…
‘Battle Booger’ - Bobby Flay collapsed after vomiting, and Brother Gov ate all the secret ingredient before any cooking was done…needless to say, the episode never aired…
 
…
Greenfields said:
Goodness! I’m speechless 😄
Click to expand...
Now, that’s the biggest lie this thread has ever seen!
Greenfields, aka Hogcalling Sally, grew up on a farm, the fifth of eleven siblings…she talked so much her siblings finally moved her bed to the barn…the chatter didn’t stop…the horses and cows ran off the first night…the ducks and chickens literally flew the coop…the pigs, firmly secured, were a captive audience…finally, they went completely bonkers, and went right through the south wall of the barn.
Greenfields had to learn hogcalling, or the family would have starved…
 
Said the Gov’ , grey faced with stomach cramps from some dingy little place in said country after not heeding warnings of recent times not to travel there.
 
(name removed by moderator) was shocked when boldlygo offered to hold Brother Gov’s flowing locks. Suddenly Boldlygo tossed (name removed by moderator) off the boat. As an experienced free driver Bro Gov just sank to the shallow bottom. While gathering some clams for a snack Bro (name removed by moderator) happened upon a lump of gold coins.
 
(name removed by moderator) is absorbed in his quest to resurrect pictography as a useful form of language. Because his current usage of all the existing emojis has failed to get any of his salient points across, he’s had to create a whole new library of emojis. With the new emojis in place to form the basis of his new form of pictography, (name removed by moderator) thinks he is in a position to win a Nobel Prize for an outstanding contribution to society.
 
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1Lord1Faith is…jealous of Govenators vast skill in sign language .
 
I read last year there was a fungus that broke down plastics discovered in Pakistan 🙂
I may have discovered it on my trip. 🤥

The Gov’ pleads to come on my walks,feigning friendship in order to weedle cockroach noses to add to his gourmet Pasta as it adds just the right bight and scent.
 
You are happy to tell us about your remake of “Rosemary’s Baby”??
 
Teenager’s what? What does the teenager have!?

(name removed by moderator) is a robot from the future. His mission is to win the governor’s race before it’s too late. From there he can governate the state.
 
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mVitus frequently eats pickled eggs and egg salad sandwiches for lunch. Good thing he works on the twentieth floor.
 
The Legend still has his mother tie his shoelaces,and trim his beard.
 
The (name removed by moderator) has a busy schedule to enact his plans, unfortunately he often gets bogged down for hours at a time with frequent updates and trying to figure how to use all these newfangled operating systems.
 
mVitus teaches dance classes of an unusual kind and has quite a large following .
It’s more a sporadic jerking and flailing of limbs, rolling of eyeballs and perhaps just a little bit of dribbling .He put his new found skills to use 5 years ago after a doctors visit confirmed he had St Vitus’s dance racking his body .it matched in with rap music just perfectly.
 
After learning about how invasive pests like cockroaches actually enhanced the taste of her coffee, Greensfield decided to start her own coffee shop: Buggy Muggy. So far she’s had three customer visits and 42 FDA investigations.
 
mVitus recently purchased a large cup of Buggy Muggy’s house specialty at the D.C. franchise of Greenfields wildly popular coffee shops and took it with him on a tour of the White House. Secret Service agents confiscated the coffee and on analysis, decided that, not being able to figure out the secret ingredients, it was a direct threat against the POTUS. mVitus was taken into custody and last word is we will not be hearing from him for some time.
 
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joeybaggzzzzz is the security guard at the facility where mVitus was being held…during the night, there was a tremendski earthquake that crumbled the outside wall of the facility…mVitus and all the other prisoners escaped, and are still at large…joeybaggzzzzz slept through the whole thing…
 
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