Transgender kids: Painful quest to be who they are

[Holly3278]

Berkeley, California (CNN) – One of the first things Thomas Lobel told his parents was that they were wrong.

The 3-year-old had learned sign language because he had apraxia, a speech impediment that hindered his ability to talk. The toddler pointed to himself and signed, “I am a girl.”

“Oh look, he’s confused,” his parents said. Maybe he mixed up the signs for boy and girl. So they signed back. “No, no. Thomas is a boy.”

But the toddler shook his head. “I am a girl,” he signed back emphatically.

cnn.com/2011/09/27/health/transgender-kids/index.html?hpt=hp_c2

This is crazy. The parents of Thomas should never have let him try to live as a girl when he is in fact a boy and not a girl. He should have been put in therapy as he probably has gender identity disorder. This article, to me, is just another example of very bad parenting.

 

[Scott_Lafrance]

cnn.com/2011/09/27/health/transgender-kids/index.html?hpt=hp_c2

This is crazy. The parents of Thomas should never have let him try to live as a girl when he is in fact a boy and not a girl. He should have been put in therapy as he probably has gender identity disorder. This article, to me, is just another example of very bad parenting.

The only way he has gender identity disorder at 3 years old is because of his parents.

 

[runningdude]

You seem to have overlooked the very point of the story, that the kid was in therapy for many years. It even says most kids out grow the it by age twenty. The important thing is protecting the child from depression and suicidal behavior, which is far worse than wearing the wrong clothes or playing with dolls.

 

[LaSainte]

I think there is a lot more to our gender than just what is between our legs. How to handle this is a different issue.

 

[silicasandra]

I think there is a lot more to our gender than just what is between our legs. How to handle this is a different issue.

Agreed. Gender is a set of expected behaviors - it’s become a lot less rigid in the past few generations and I think this is a good thing in many ways. But here we have a little boy who said he “was a girl” because he liked skirts and playing with dolls. Wearing skirts and playing with dolls does not make one female, but we teach that it’s a feminine behavior. In some cultures men wear skirts, and pretty much all children like playing with dolls (though we brand them as “action figures” when marketing to boys).

I kind of feel like if we didn’t try and put every activity kids like in a little box this would happen a lot less. Children wouldn’t have to feel like something is “wrong” with them because of the toys they like to play with. And that is a message we teach young - when walking in a store of baby clothes, there is a “boy side” and “girl side” even though my son probably doesn’t care at all what he wears (well, that’s not true. He’d rather be naked all the time. )

 

[Graubo3]

This is crazy. The parents of Thomas should never have let him try to live as a girl when he is in fact a boy and not a girl. He should have been put in therapy as he probably has gender identity disorder. This article, to me, is just another example of very bad parenting.

Thomas Lobel’s metamorphosis can be told in pictures.

After his parents, Pauline Moreno and Debra Lobel, adopted Thomas at age 2, they observed that he was aloof. Shy and freckle-faced, he usually sat in a corner reading a book.

Maybe parents Pauline and Debra are both female and they are from Berkley, CA. Wouldn’t be a bit surprised to find parents are university professors too. Poor kid.

Peace, Graubo

 

[Scott_Lafrance]

Maybe parents Pauline and Debra are both female and they are from Berkley, CA. Wouldn’t be a bit surprised to find parents are university professors too. Poor kid.

Peace, Graubo

But I thought that the children of same sex couples would grow up just like other children.

 

[SamH]

After his parents, Pauline Moreno and Debra Lobel, adopted Thomas at age 2, they observed that he was aloof. Shy and freckle-faced, he usually sat in a corner reading a book.

Imagine that.

 

[Publisher]

But I thought that the children of same sex couples would grow up just like other children.

Hmmm…maybe this kid IS…where do most gay people come from? From opposite gender parents…obviously…having opposite gender parents doesn’t mean their child can’t be gay or transgendered…same sex parents too can produce gay or transgendered children.

 

[estesbob]

At age 3 I thought I was Superman! Glad my parents didn’t try to teach me how to fly!

 

[_Abyssinia]

cnn.com/2011/09/27/health/transgender-kids/index.html?hpt=hp_c2

This is crazy. The parents of Thomas should never have let him try to live as a girl when he is in fact a boy and not a girl. He should have been put in therapy as he probably has gender identity disorder. This article, to me, is just another example of very bad parenting.

Why isn’t this feeling of being in the wrong body that many transgender people claim, treated as a mental disorder?

 

[rlg94086]

Hmmm…maybe this kid IS…where do most gay people come from? From opposite gender parents…obviously…having opposite gender parents doesn’t mean their child can’t be gay or transgendered…same sex parents too can produce gay or transgendered children.

Actually, same sex parents can’t “produce” children. However, they can raise them, and it’s not surprising to me that a lesbian couple would be easily convinced that their 3-year-old boy is actually a girl.

 

[rlg94086]

At age 3 I thought I was Superman! Glad my parents didn’t try to teach me how to fly!

You didn’t notice the gem in the necklace they made you wear is an odd green color?

 

[LaSainte]

Agreed. Gender is a set of expected behaviors - it’s become a lot less rigid in the past few generations and I think this is a good thing in many ways. But here we have a little boy who said he “was a girl” because he liked skirts and playing with dolls. Wearing skirts and playing with dolls does not make one female, but we teach that it’s a feminine behavior. In some cultures men wear skirts, and pretty much all children like playing with dolls (though we brand them as “action figures” when marketing to boys).

I kind of feel like if we didn’t try and put every activity kids like in a little box this would happen a lot less. Children wouldn’t have to feel like something is “wrong” with them because of the toys they like to play with. And that is a message we teach young - when walking in a store of baby clothes, there is a “boy side” and “girl side” even though my son probably doesn’t care at all what he wears (well, that’s not true. He’d rather be naked all the time. )

Yes! Frankly, i would probably let my son wear clothes of the opposite gender like dresses and tiaras for play as well as play with dolls or whatever. For everyday wear I would let him choose something a bit mire neutral, maybe let him have longer hair, etc. I would draw the line at a name change and referring to him as “she” though at such a young age until it was a bit more sorted out by a specialist.
My main goal would be a happy child who is not ashamed of themselves, and I would make darn sure not to become a source of shame for him.

 

[Nec5]

At age 3 I thought I was Superman! Glad my parents didn’t try to teach me how to fly!

See here. If your parents had done their duty and encouraged you to find yourself, you’d be out saving the world and lifting buildings. Instead, you were repressed. Hardy har.

 

[LaSainte]

I do wonder though that it is not considered immoral if one is born with both sets of genitalia, to choose which sex one wants to be and have whatever operations/hormones one wishes to “become” one sex or the other definitively, to become whichever sex one “feels” that they are inside. And yet, it is immoral to do so of one merely has one set of genitalia and yet “feels” that they are the opposite gender.

It seems a bit hypocritical, especially since we don’t know yet what causes this problem with gender identity-something mental or something physical in the brain. If it IS something in the brain, then which trumps which? Brain or genitals? I would be inclined to say that the brain would trump the genitals, but I wonder what the Church would say?

 

[SamH]

Hmmm…maybe this kid IS…where do most gay people come from? From opposite gender parents…obviously…having opposite gender parents doesn’t mean their child can’t be gay or transgendered…same sex parents too can produce gay or transgendered children.

Actually most of the gay people I know are the product of sexual abuse as a child.

 

[LaSainte]

Why isn’t this feeling of being in the wrong body that many transgender people claim, treated as a mental disorder?

Because they don’t know yet if the cause is mental or physical. All the therapy in the world is only going to mess you up even more if the structure of your physical brain is telling you that you are of the opposite gender as your body.

 

[silicasandra]

Actually most of the gay people I know are the product of sexual abuse as a child.

And none of the gay people I know are. Anecdotes are not evidence, and being transgendered does not necessarily mean a person also struggles with SSA, though some deal with both - so maybe we should get back on topic?

 

[SamH]

And none of the gay people I know are. Anecdotes are not evidence, and being transgendered does not necessarily mean a person also struggles with SSA, though some deal with both - so maybe we should get back on topic?

Not many people can live that sheltered of a life.