Wedding Suggestions

[TheRealJuliane]

Good news is my brother is lisenced to perform music & dj. So lisencing shouldnt be an issue.

Luncheon also solves the problem of alcohol…I am afraid of the alcoholic tendencies of several guests. I know that most would respect the early hour 12 or 1 or 2 more than anything else. That way it doesnt have to be dry…which I dont want, either.

Oh, hon…An alcoholic will find a way to drink…If you don’t serve enough, they will bring it with them, probably they have some in the glovebox anyway…Don’t count on keeping them sober! I would have a plan for anyone who gets sloshed…Like calling a cab…Having a designated driver handy, etc. And if any of them are mean drunks who get nasty…then have a big male relative ready to remove the offender quickly and quietly. But maybe these are 5 p.m. drinkers, some are.

Good luck with your wedding!!!

 

[SummerSmiles]

I’ve remembered one more bit of advice: when you order your wedding cake** DO NOT tell the bakery that it’s for a wedding**. Maybe it’s just in our area, but when bakeries found out we wanted a wedding cake, it was no longer a matter of just ordering a confection. No, we had to set up a “tasting appointment” ($50), we were encouraged to select “wedding flavors” (for a surcharge), and the bakeries wanted to charge us so many cents per mile to transport the cake and a “set up” fee (again, another $50). And, my friends, we just wanted a sheet cake that fed 10-12 people. Wedding cakes are a racket! (No disrespect to any bakers or wedding cake makers out there, but sheesh!)

In the end we went with a bakery that came recommended from friends. I printed out a picture of the cake I fell in love with. We went to the bakery on a Saturday morning, showed them the picture, and asked if they could do something like that. When they asked what the cake was for we told them it was for a “gathering.” When we chose the flavors we stayed away from ones like “wedding while” and “matrimonial marzipan” lest they became suspicious. On the day of the wedding my husband and his best friend picked it up and brought it to my in-laws’ house.

I say we saved right around $125 by leaving out the word “wedding” from our conversations with the baker.

Luna

This is a good one that I’d completely forgotten about! We did the sheet cake thing as well, and definitely don’t mention anything about a wedding. We called ours a “family gathering” when we ordered it. Most bakeries will charge a premium if they find out that something is being used in a wedding. Yes, even the Walmart bakery.

 

[aicirt]

I’m liking the idea of a lunchtime reciption…perhaps in the church hall. But I have my heart set on my first dance with my FH…did anyone who did a not-full-reception have the traditional “dances”?

Have a pianist and dance.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

Have a pianist and dance.

Oh that IS a good idea! A solo piano would be absolutely FINE for a luncheon - and could play background music during the lunch itself!

 

[SeaShoreGirl]

Oh that IS a good idea! A solo piano would be absolutely FINE for a luncheon - and could play background music during the lunch itself!

it will be fun to see the look on the poor guy/gal’s face when my fh requests megadeath

 

[SeaShoreGirl]

Oh, hon…An alcoholic will find a way to drink…If you don’t serve enough, they will bring it with them, probably they have some in the glovebox anyway…Don’t count on keeping them sober! I would have a plan for anyone who gets sloshed…Like calling a cab…Having a designated driver handy, etc. And if any of them are mean drunks who get nasty…then have a big male relative ready to remove the offender quickly and quietly. But maybe these are 5 p.m. drinkers, some are.

Good luck with your wedding!!!

All are functional, social alcoholics…they tend to get giddy and/or stupidly obnixous. Nothing too awful…just want to avoid it.

 

[casey_zia]

Our parish priest gets kind of annoyed when people who are living together say they don’t get married because it’s too expensive. He tells them all it takes is two witnesses, which shouldn’t cost anything. The stipend to the priest and for the church is voluntary, wedding dresses and flowers are optional. Not much cost here, if you keep it at this level.

We married simply–a couple we knew stood up for us, we had an open invitation for anyone in the parish and in our work/social lives to come to the wedding ceremony, we had a small reception, a friend took photos (all you need is one or two really nice photos, who needs more than that?). Pros: low cost, everyone is relaxed and has fun. There are ways of keeping it simple and without the big expense, but it does mean bucking the trend, and that does take guts!

 

[TheRealJuliane]

it will be fun to see the look on the poor guy/gal’s face when my fh requests megadeath

:bigyikes:

How can you dance to that???

 

[Sarabande]

I’ve remembered one more bit of advice: when you order your wedding cake** DO NOT tell the bakery that it’s for a wedding**.

You can even try this with restaurants, caterers and halls. I work with a lot of bridal couples. My end is mostly during the liturgy with occasional cocktail hours or dinner entertainment for more intimate gatherings, but conversations will sometimes turn towards the reception part. One couple I knew tested the theory out that caterers and restaurants charge more when you say the word “wedding”. They called up the places on different days, one day saying they were getting married and interested in their place for a reception and then one day where they were just throwing a party, like a birthday part or something like that. They used the same number of guests, same food choices, etc. It turned out that the prices for the same food was jacked up so much more.

I can see that if a couple was having a small, intimate affair, they could get away with not having to pay the wedding prices, but that would probably mean they couldn’t wear anything obviously like wedding attire, no cake cutting, etc.

 

[SeaShoreGirl]

:bigyikes:

How can you dance to that???

you’d have to ask him. :rollseyes:

He loves music so the playlist is on him. He told me early on he was a “tell me the day/place/time” sort of guy. The word “plan” is not his favorite. I do have a couple of other things I want him to do, but since he frequents this forum I’m going to keep it a suprize.

Both of our parents would flip if we did a “quickie” jp but Catholic type wedding as one poster described. That being said, we’ve already agreed. Parents, grandparents, sibilings, nieces/nephews, best buddies. For me the list is about 15. He thinks about the same. Considering I have 3bros, 2 of whom are married its going to be smaller than some family parties.

But I’m liking the idea of a drama free point blank no-cousin wedding. I love most them… But with time and distance and personalities…coordinating everything its best if they just stay in their state of origin. My dad will probably want to host a party at his house back in my former homestate anyway, and I dont need 2 large parties. I’m willing to do the same for FH if his family wants. Most of the people only care about the drinking anyway.

Plus, I dont want to tire myself out too much I want my wedding day to be a fun, simple gathering with a focus on the God making two into one…and besides I cant get too tired… The big day comes with a big night

 

[jazzy0710]

I got married on July 10th 2010.

I live in Nova Scotia, Canada and the grand total for the wedding was $7, 860.00. While that may seem like a lot for an NS wedding that’s pretty good considering that most weddings here cost $20, 000.00 and up.

Shop around is what I’ve told people. I went on an add site called “kijiji” in the US I think they use something called “Craig’s list?” Anyway on there I found my florist and my photographer.

I ordered my boquet, a maid of honor boquet, 2 bridesmaids boquets, then there was the boutiners for our dads, my husband, the bestman, and the 2 groomsmen, 3 ushers, and our 2 grandmothers each had a corsage, as well as our moms and the lady who did the scripture reading. We also had a boutinere for the ring bearer, and our flower girl had a head piece. The grand total was $500.00 taxes in.

The photographer gave us quite a number of prints and we got 2 pick 2 different locations for photo shoots after the ceremony. She took over 400 shots and we got a disc as well with no copyright so we can copy as many prints as we wish. Her grand total was also $500.00 taxes in.

Best of luck!

 

[Sarabande]

Great ideas!

I hope my wedding is done tasefully, cheaply and small.

I found a wedding dress I like on a discount site. It seems legit and I can get the alterations done by a friend. Its $120.

My brother can double as alter server & DJ. I’ll pay him and pay for his hotel. So $300ish

I love the idea of a friday wedding…weekends are too short anyway. Friday afternoon sounds splendid.

Did anyone do pew bows? I’ve always dreamed of them MUCH more than flowers. Even that wide shiny ribbon can get expensive but I think it’s worth it.

Anyone get married at not their parish? I would like to get married at a small stone church. Also, what did you do if you were moving. I am 45 mins from my FH and his house and if all else fails like the church in my town. (geographic parish). I like one priest in particular but dislike the others.

My goal is 25-30 adult guests, 5-8 kid guests (including babies), and 1 bridesmaid, 1 bestman.

My sister is getting married on a Friday and my parents are saving a lot of money doing it that way.

I didn’t do pew bows and my sister isn’t either. The main reason for me was that I got married in a cathedral and they didn’t allow any pew bows or flowers and it would have cost way too much money. I didn’t even use flowers for the cathedral as I thought it was beautiful enough “as is”. There are many parishes which won’t allow pew bows, aisle runners, etc., so it is best to ask first if you can do it.

I didn’t get married in my parish, but the cathedral at the time was essentially my home due to the fact that my husband and I were heavily involved with the music program and volunteered all of our time there. At the time, the cost of getting married there was $800 for both parishioners and non-parishioners (it’s now $2000 for non-parishioners and I believe $1500 for parishioners). The cost of getting married at my home parish was $650 which wasn’t much less. BUT since we were both involved with the music ministry at the cathedral since our college days, the $800 fee was waived and the choir and organist did our wedding as a gift to us.

Some parishes will allow non-parishioners to marry with permission from their parishes, of course, but some will not. So, it’s always best to ask. I recently cantored for a beautiful, intimate wedding in a rural area at a small, stone church. The parish was neither the groom’s nor the bride’s, but it was a good half-way point for their families to travel from their home states so that not many people would have to stay overnight anywhere. It was pretty much a DIY wedding. They had only about 50 guests, if that, which filled the church, it was so tiny and quaint. The afternoon reception was in the parish hall and they did a beautiful job decorating it. I don’t know if they had dancing, but I know they had music and the place was large enough to dance in if they wanted to, even to at least do a first dance. It was probably one of the most beautiful weddings I’ve sang at, which I’ve been doing for 10+ years and have pretty much seen it all.

I think with 25-30 guests, you can easily do a very affordable AND tasteful wedding.

 

[jazzy0710]

Did anyone do pew bows?

I sure did! It wasn’t my first plan though. I originally was going to have “kissing balls” which are just white flowers bunched up into a ball with ribbons that hang on the pews. My decorator didn’t have enough supplies so instead she made some bows which incorporated my colors (blue and silver) and I have to admit that I liked the bows a lot better.

 

[JMJSHJ]

Thank you all for your wonderful suggestions and advice. I would like for this thread to continue over the next few months as decisions are being made and I welcome all (name removed by moderator)ut.

Some more information about our special day. My fiancee is originally from the Philippines and its part of her heritage that at weddings the bride and groom are “veiled”. See the video here to understand better:

youtube.com/watch?v=0xPT0jHTnL4&list=FLj4ZFOWLfR4Yo8COnAZCq-g&index=2&feature=plpp_video

We are planning to have about 80 guests. Dinner is going to be at the Knights of Columbus Hall just down the street from where the Church is (2 blocks away), which we like because with my fiancee’s family all flying in (West Coast, Manilla), then it requires less logistical work coordinating rides and so forth.

Our budget is small compared to others but more than what others have done, but like what all have said, its how WE are making choices. Since afternoon weddings allow us time to prepare for the Wedding not in a rush, then we can have a nice dinner (Buffet) and then dancing afterwards.

Our Honeymoon is going to be 2 stages. Stage 1 is the Wedding night at a nice but reasonably priced Hotel in Toronto. Its reasonably priced as I have a friend who works as a reservation agent and can get us some special price. Stage 2 is next January (2013) to a tropical resort when we can save up some money between Wedding and Stage 2 Honeymoon.

Thank you for the info about Wedding Cakes. After I put the deposit down on the Hall tomorrow, I want to investigate around for a good price and a good design.

Its been a while since I have been toa wedding. The last one was June 1994 and the last Catholic Wedding was 1985!!

Marriage Prep Courses start on Monday February 6 for 7 weeks.

 

[JMJSHJ]

Quick question for those who have been to a wedding in the last 5-10 years: When you sit down for dinner, do you have arranged seating or just let people decide on their own? I am inclining towards assigned seating as some people that are coming don’t know anyone else but me and I don’t want them sitting by themselves.

 

[faithfully]

I’m liking the idea of a lunchtime reciption…perhaps in the church hall. But I have my heart set on my first dance with my FH…did anyone who did a not-full-reception have the traditional “dances”?

Yes… my best friend was married at 11am… We went to the reception hall were buffet was served for lunch and we danced until about 6 pm.

You could cut the time short. Dancing does not have to be reserved for some large reception in the evening…

 

[jilly4ski]

Quick question for those who have been to a wedding in the last 5-10 years: When you sit down for dinner, do you have arranged seating or just let people decide on their own? I am inclining towards assigned seating as some people that are coming don’t know anyone else but me and I don’t want them sitting by themselves.

We had everybody sit where ever they want (except our parents and wedding party, we set aside a table for my parents and a table for my in laws). Nobody was sitting alone. But if it is a concern, or if you have a wide ranging guest list, then by all means. It is of course a very sensitive issue, what if you put estranged cousins next to each other, not to mention stress filled waiting for the RSVP’s.

 

[manualman]

We saved some money with the following:

Make your own programs and invitations. It’s really easy with today’s word processors.

Draft musician friends into providing the music. We had piano, guitar (yeah, yeah heresy) and a pair of professional violinists, not to mention some extremely good vocalists. But I was in instrumentla and vocal music through high school, so I had a good start and some friends owed me…

Forget altar flowers. Most seasons, they are already there.

Have bridesmaids buy a regular dress at the Dept store. They’ll be grateful!

Cash bar. Bonus: fewer drunks.

Some parishes will even rent you the hall for a reception. Probably not a reception with pounding dance music and a bar though.

Ipod and rented music system. DJs are mostly cheesy anyways. Back in the day, we made a ‘tape.’ LOL

 

[epenilla]

i love the idea of a brunch reception.
you can have regular beverages as well as mimosas and bellinis!

with a great spread of foods
And if you have a great cook in the family im sure they would help in lieu of a wedding present!

I dont know that you need to nix the dancing-start it out family friendly and as it gets a little later mix up the music!

As far as flowers,id go with artificial and make your own bouquets and arrangements.
you dont need to make the church overly decorated!
an alter arrangement and some pew decorations will suffice.

 

[Sarabande]

Thank you all for your wonderful suggestions and advice. I would like for this thread to continue over the next few months as decisions are being made and I welcome all (name removed by moderator)ut.

Some more information about our special day. My fiancee is originally from the Philippines and its part of her heritage that at weddings the bride and groom are “veiled”. See the video here to understand better:

youtube.com/watch?v=0xPT0jHTnL4&list=FLj4ZFOWLfR4Yo8COnAZCq-g&index=2&feature=plpp_video

I’m half Filipina (my mom and her side of the family is from Ilo-Ilo), so we did the veil, cord, candle and coin ceremonies at our wedding. It was done after the vows. Since my father’s side and my husband’s side aren’t Filipinos, we included the cultural and religious symbolism for each ceremony in our programs. I used my parents’ veil from their wedding and borrowed my aunt’s cord. Another aunt (the coin sponsor) provided the coins.

We are planning to have about 80 guests. Dinner is going to be at the Knights of Columbus Hall just down the street from where the Church is (2 blocks away), which we like because with my fiancee’s family all flying in (West Coast, Manilla), then it requires less logistical work coordinating rides and so forth.

Our budget is small compared to others but more than what others have done, but like what all have said, its how WE are making choices. Since afternoon weddings allow us time to prepare for the Wedding not in a rush, then we can have a nice dinner (Buffet) and then dancing afterwards.

Yes, dancing was a big thing with the Filipino side of my family. They know every single line dance to almost any song and they have such a great time. I don’t know if it is in your budget… as a surprise at my wedding, my mother hired a high school dancing troupe of Filipino teens who performed a few folk dances. My favorite, the Tinikling, was a lot of fun because they invited all of the guests to try. Our non-Filipino guests had a great time and we have some adorable pics and video of my husband trying to do it as well. (Not that I was so great doing it in a wedding gown. lol!)

Here’s a video of a professional group using a lot of bamboo sticks.
youtube.com/watch?v=8SqZRQWC6AQ

My other favorite dance was the candle dance or the Pandanggo sa Ilaw.

youtube.com/watch?v=Wu8XqO0knYg&feature=related