What is your dream girl like?

[jimmy]

jrabs:

I wasn’t offended by the weight thing at all. I am thin - probably due to a hefty dose of hyperactivity. What I think is sad is that the list is comprised of physical attributes. She’s gotta have this and gotta look like that. Where are the virtues, and spiritual qualities? Those are the things that really determine who a person is.

You have things in reverse. Cut through the superficial junk and I’m sure you will have your dream girl in a flash.

I agree that the physical appearance of a person is not important, but there is nothing wrong with having an opinion on what is attractive and being somewhat selective based on it. Now, I would never even consider an attractive girl if that was all she had. I would like a serious Catholic that is physically attractive who has a good personality.

The lists aren’t meant to be exclusive lists that say “I like blue eye, and brown eyes are ugly”. That is reading too much into the posts. I said l like brown hair but that does not mean that I think that every woman with blond hair is ugly.

 

[jimmy]

LabChick:

Many years ago, I wanted to be a certain someone’s “dream” girl. Only the requirements were 5’6", 110 lbs, and long blonde hair.

What’s wrong with red hair and freckles? That combo is rarer and more unique.

There is nothing wrong with red hair and freckles. There are many attractive women with them both.

 

[jrabs]

What I have enjoyed in this thread is all those wonderful posts by married people who love their spouses and find pure beauty in them:

Space ghost
Rayne89
La Chiara
Amy S
Christian4life
Apologia100
Paul Dupre
thechrismyster
martha martha
You are wonderful!!! and a super big

 

[rayne89]

By the way Madaglan, what exactly do you look like?

Hair color?

Eye color?

Height?

Weight?

Nationality?

Intelligence?

Personality?

 

[Madaglan]

Originally Quoted by rayne89:

By the way Madaglan, what exactly do you look like?

Hair color?

Eye color?

Height?

Weight?

Nationality?

Intelligence?

Personality?

Hair Color = Brown (it’s thick–and sexy, too)

Eye Color = Hazel

Height = a little over 6 ’ 2 "

Weight = 210 (which is a healthy weight for my height. I run on a regular basis to maintain a good weight)

Nationality = Irish/Franco-German/Slavik/Hungarian (which also means that I’m partially Asian, however slightly)

Intelligence = Rather high. Presently I have a 3.7 GPA. IQ about 140. Have won academic awards and have a $9000/per annum scholarship to a challenging private school (if that means anything). I recently scored in the top 96 percentile on the analytical section of my GRE test.

Personality = First, to make some things clear: I’m not nearly as shallow as rayne makes me to be. I’m extremely funny (girls like that), and I am very kind and considerate. I feel bad for fat and ugly girls; and I treat them with kindness and respect; but I don’t think I could date one. Over the summer I worked at an office building full of nice, though middle-aged and married women. They all loved me and one of them even said, however blasphemously, that they had asked for an intern and had received God instead (in reference to me.) Some girls (including some very pretty ones) say that I’m the sweetest guy they have ever known. This one girl I met with online and with whom I spoke on the phone over period of a few months really liked me, and we promised each other that we would not go after anyone else until we met in person. Well, I kept my side of the bargain; but it seems that she got back together with her ex-boyfriend when he returned from Iraq. Haven’t heard from her since then, despite the pile of letters covered in tears, which I sent to her. Alas! She wasn’t even really pretty–though far from ugly; I really liked her because of her personality, which is what I look for first in a girl–since there are so many girls who are beautiful yet cold-hearted.

I suppose one of my greatest problems is shyness–“social anxiety.” That’s perhaps the only real “problem”–if that can be called a problem–which I have.

Lots of girls think I’m really cute and say hello to me a lot. The problem is that most of the girls here at my school have horrible personalities. They do drugs, have promiscuous sex, they back-stab, and they are dishonest to any boyfriends they might have. Most of all, they don’t care much about intellectual conversation. I’m the only practicing Catholic here on campus The few who come to Newman Club curse, swear, drink and engage in the occult (tarot cards) outside of the club. The priest himself frequently condones and oftentimes supports these activities.

Anyhow, last year I met this one girl on campus, and I thought she really liked me because she was flirting with me badly, but then I found out that she has a steady boyfriend with whom she had been for a while. So I was like, what’s up with that?! Being the noble and just person I am, I decided it would be an egregious move to display any romantic affections towards that girl.

 

[katybird]

Apologia100:

I don’t see anything that makes her seem particularly appealing, either. Breasts like baby deer? What kind of analogy is that? Teeth like sheep, neck like a stone fence? Solomon wasn’t the smoothest talker was he?

Yeah, that stuff always struck me as bizzare, too. But, then, I never understood the song “Brick House” or the expression it’s based on, “Built like a brick ____house.”

One of the things that I idealize when I fantasize about how wonderful it would be to have a husband to take care of is the idea that one should really take lots of care with their appearance. It’s like, if a wife is in a funk because her husband hasn’t been very attentive, lately, rather than being all self-absorbed, she should offer it up, then focus on what she can do for her husband in a non-obstrusive (non-martyr/non-passive-agressive) way… namely, thinking to herself “Snap out of it! Are my legs shaved? Have I taken care to make my feet pretty? Is my hair neat? Am I dressed nicely? OK, then, I look fine… perhaps I should quietly slip into the kitchen and prepare a snack he really likes for him to find the next time he goes to the fridge for something to eat during halftime.”

 

[Alterum]

Madaglan:

Aw, don’t be too worried. You can find it all in the Bible!

First, your response strikes me as a touch condescending. I’m not trying to start an argument; I really don’t think this thread is appropriate.

Second, the Song of Songs involves Solomon praising his WIFE’S beauty. Nor does Solomon go and say, “You’re 5’6” and 105 pounds; neither fat nor ugly, but fit and thin. How beautiful you are!" Solomon uses metaphorical language to praise every part of his wife regardless - and this is important - regardless of objective aesthetic characteristics. Saying that one’s hair is like “a flock of goats,” one’s eyes “like doves,” or one’s neck “like the tower of David” is anything but an aesthetic focus. Solomon is praising the beauty of his spouse without a single mention of measurements nor, indeed, a single mention of objectively discernible physical characteristcs (he could be talking about any woman in the world!).

To use the Song of Songs as justification to discuss the most sexually-appealing spouse one can obtain would require quite a shallow reading of the text.

 

[Madaglan]

Originally Quoted by Alterum:

Second, the Song of Songs involves Solomon praising his WIFE’S beauty. Nor does Solomon go and say, “You’re 5’6” and 105 pounds; neither fat nor ugly, but fit and thin. How beautiful you are!" Solomon uses metaphorical language to praise every part of his wife regardless - and this is important - regardless of objective aesthetic characteristics. Saying that one’s hair is like “a flock of goats,” one’s eyes “like doves,” or one’s neck “like the tower of David” is anything but an aesthetic focus. Solomon is praising the beauty of his spouse without a single mention of measurements nor, indeed, a single mention of objectively discernible physical characteristcs (he could be talking about any woman in the world!).

To use the Song of Songs as justification to discuss the most sexually-appealing spouse one can obtain would require quite a shallow reading of the text.

While I agree with you that the Song of Songs does not primarily foucs on mathematical measurements of the body and bodily appendages, I believe that the Song includes explicit descriptions of the physical beauty of one’s beloved. I would disagree that Solomon could be describing any woman in the world. I think very few people could honestly describe Rosie O’Donnell in the terms Solomon uses.

Yes, he is describing his WIFE’s beauty; but it is evident that he thought the same of the woman before marrying her, even if he didn’t disclose these thoughts to her.

So I understand what you’re saying, but I think it has limits; as does what Solomon says about his wife. Hope you don’t take any offense. Just trying to clear some things I noticed.

 

[Feanaro_s_Wife]

Personality = First, to make some things clear: I’m not nearly as shallow as rayne makes me to be. I’m extremely** funny** (girls like that), and I am very kind and considerate. I feel bad for fat and ugly girls; and I treat them with kindness and respect; but I don’t think I could date one. Over the summer I worked at an office building full of nice, though middle-aged and married women. They all loved me and one of them even said, however blasphemously, that they had asked for an intern and had received God instead (in reference to me.) Some girls (including some very pretty ones) say that I’m the sweetest guy they have ever known. This one girl I met with online and with whom I spoke on the phone over period of a few months really liked me, and we promised each other that we would not go after anyone else until we met in person. Well, I kept my side of the bargain; but it seems that she got back together with her ex-boyfriend when he returned from Iraq. Haven’t heard from her since then, despite the pile of letters covered in tears, which I sent to her. Alas! She wasn’t even really pretty–though far from ugly;** I really liked her because of her personality**, which is what I look for first in a girl–since there are so many girls who are beautiful yet cold-hearted.

I suppose one of my greatest problems is shyness–“social anxiety.” That’s perhaps the only real “problem”–if that can be called a problem–which I have.

Lots of girls think I’m really cute and say hello to me a lot. The problem is that **most of the girls here at my school have horrible personalities. **They do drugs, have promiscuous sex, they back-stab, and they are dishonest to any boyfriends they might have. Most of all, they don’t care much about intellectual conversation. I’m the only practicing Catholic here on campus The few who come to Newman Club curse, swear, drink and engage in the occult (tarot cards) outside of the club. The priest himself frequently condones and oftentimes supports these activities.

Anyhow, last year I met this one girl on campus, and I thought she really liked me because she was flirting with me badly, but then I found out that she has a steady boyfriend with whom she had been for a while. So I was like, what’s up with that?! Being the noble and just person I am, I decided it would be an egregious move to display any romantic affections towards that girl.

Finally we see some of the real you! Thank you for revealing these things about yourself. I have been following this thread and was becoming very discouraged by your apparent emphasis on the physical. I just couldn’t believe that you were that shallow. I am glad you finally set the record straight.

As a woman I can tell you that this last post of yours was the only “attractive” one. The rest, had I been single, would have made me run far and fast.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to be physically attracted to your future spouse… but you may want to be a little more careful on how you present that. If you read back through the thread I’m sure you will agree that you got very excited about having a “hot” girlfriend/wife… and although you did mention personality, it did not leave us with a lasting impression.

Even if your intentions were innocent in starting this thread, remember that you may be leading weaker men into temptation.

Malia

 

[Alterum]

Madaglan:

While I agree with you that the Song of Songs does not focus exactly on mathematical measures of the body, I believe that the Song includes explicit descriptions of the physical beauty of one’s beloved. And I would disagree that Solomon could be describing any woman in the world. I think very few people would describe Rosie O’Donnell in the terms Solomon uses.

So I understand what you’re saying, but I think it has limits; as does what Solomon says about his wife.

Well, I think this is simply incorrect. As I said, there’s not a single objective, discernible physical characteristic that Solomon uses which would prevent him from applying this description to someone who looks like Rosie O’Donnell. His wife could very well have been - and probably was - much outside of today’s cultural beauty standard.

Back to the discussion at hand, the Song of Songs does not present Solomon as “looking for a particular product with the correct, aesthetically-pleasing collection of parts,” which is what you were evidently attempting to refute by quoting Scripture. My criticisms of this thread thread, I think, are absolutely justifiable. The discussion herein regarding how one would most like one’s wife to look is entirely inappropriate.

Incidentally, I notice that you say you feel bad for fat and ugly people. I’m sure they appreciate your sympathy.

 

[Hermione]

Madaglan,

Maybe you should use your “rather high” intelligence to learn about anorexia and healthy weights for women. The woman you’re describing probably wouldn’t have her period, would be losing bone density at an alarming rate (and have osteoporosis when she’s 40), her brain would be starving and she’d have all sorts of psychological and cognitive problems. And if you used your really big brain you’d realize that there’s a very low probability of you finding a woman who met those criteria and was healthy.

But maybe you are aware of all these things and simply don’t care. How “kind and considerate” of you.

Unfortunately, I think that anything anyone here will say will have absolutely no effect on you. I wouldn’t be surprised if every time you read something on here you were thinking to yourself: I don’t need to listen to these people. After all, my intelligence is “rather high,” and I am “very kind and considerate,” I just “feel bad for fat and ugly girls,” although “I don’t think I could date one.” After all, an outstanding guy like me who has been compared to GOD HIMSELF deserves better! There’s just no end to how amazing I am, the “sweetest guy [many girls] have ever known.” And to add to all these incredible things, I am “just and noble” as well.

“Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall.” (Proverbs 16:18)

At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, “Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” He called a little child and had him stand among them. And he said: “I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me.” (Matthew 18:1-5 NIV)

“Whoever shall exalt himself shall be abased, and he that humbles himself shall be exalted.” (Luke 14:11 NRSV)

 

[Madaglan]

Originally Quoted by Hermione:

Madaglan,

Maybe you should use your “rather high” intelligence to learn about anorexia and healthy weights for women. The woman you’re describing probably wouldn’t have her period, would be losing bone density at an alarming rate (and have osteoporosis when she’s 40), her brain would be starving and she’d have all sorts of psychological and cognitive problems. And if you used your really big brain you’d realize that there’s a very low probability of you finding a woman who met those criteria and was healthy.

But maybe you are aware of all these things and simply don’t care. How “kind and considerate” of you.

Many of my friends have anorexia and bulemic problems. I talk with them reguarily. Recently I persuaded one to see a counseler because she was only telling me about her problem. Having had some personal experience myself with eating problems, I understand these problems quite well.

Please, if you are to criticize, don’t jump to conclusions when you know very little about me or what I’m going through right now.

 

[Hermione]

The only reason I jumped to that conclusion was because you said the ideal weight for your dream girl is about 90-120 at below 5’6"

A girl who is 4"10" and has a small frame should weigh 102-111 pounds. And that’s the smallest girl on that chart.

 

[Madaglan]

Originally Quoted by Hermione:

The only reason I jumped to that conclusion was because you said the ideal weight for your dream girl is about 90-120 at below 5’6"

A girl who is 4"10" and has a small frame should weigh 102-111 pounds. And that’s the smallest girl on that chart.

If that is the only reason, then I apologize for giving you the wrong impression. I have known girls who are not anorexic and who are around 5’6". However, I did not consult a chart when imagining how much they weigh. So, the weight i considered ideal (90-120) should be more along the lines of (120-150).

 

[AmyS]

Madaglan:

Many of my friends have anorexia and bulemic problems. I talk with them reguarily. Recently I persuaded one to see a counseler because she was only telling me about her problem. Having had some personal experience myself with eating problems, I understand these problems quite well.

Please, if you are to criticize, don’t jump to conclusions when you know very little about me or what I’m going through right now.

I can tell you really want to find the right girl… She might not be anything you are looking for, but, I know what it is like to be attracted to a certain type of look… My husband has that, he is tall with dark hair and dark eyes, he is slender, has nice shoulders… I was always attracted to that look, and be it shallow and all but I dated other men who didn’t look like him, and besides having no substance to them, well I was just not attracted to them. This also would blow up in my face because I dated a few really good guys that I let go, and dated some others that I was attracted to that where lousy to me. I think that might be part of the reason people are concerned with focusing on looks, just be careful… Now, not to sound cliche, which I will, love often comes when you are not looking…

 

[Exporter]

My dream girl is clothed with the sun, and she is wearing a blue robe with a white head covering. She has a crown of stars. The moon is under her feet.

She was the lady in St. John’s dream. She is Our Lady, she is Saint Mary!

 

[kage_ar]

jimmy:

I am sure no one wants there wife or girlfriend to be anorexic.

NO, just to be TALL. Men like you make many women like me feel inferior - for life!

GRRR

Signed - the intelligent, witty, caring, dedicated, funny, beautiful Kage (wife, mom and PROUD Pseudoachondroplastic Dwarf, 4" tall)

 

[Hermione]

Madaglan,

I’m very glad that the weight requirement you gave initially was just a mistake in estimating women’s weights.

I’m sorry for suggesting that you didn’t care about people’s health, obviously I was wrong.

 

[lizziebeth730]

Exporter:

My dream girl is clothed with the sun, and she is wearing a blue robe with a white head covering. She has a crown of stars. The moon is under her feet.

She was the lady in St. John’s dream. She is Our Lady, she is Saint Mary!

I pity the girl you end up with, she’s got a lot to live up to.

You can say that you want a specific type of girl to end up with. My boyfriend only dated Portuguese girls and then he met me, who’s a pasty white red headed freckley stay out of the sun Irish girl.

I always said I’d end up with a tall dark haired beanpole with glasses and quirky features. My boyfriend is short and stocky with classic good looking features (save the stupid goatee he insists on wearing)

 

[chicago]

AmyS:

…he says he has loved me since 6th grade (although we started dating after our 10 year highschool reunion).

The gal I liked in 6th grade finally got married a couple of years ago. Maybe I should have started dating her at our 10 year reunion! Come back Leslie!