Yes, it is excellent advice. Just realize that while encouraging him to do the right thing is your duty, the work of actually doing the right thing is your dad’s.Is this good advice?
Kinda, should i intervene though?Yes, it is excellent advice. Just realize that while encouraging him to do the right thing is your duty, the work of actually doing the right thing is your dad’s.
Have you heard of the Serenity Prayer? It starts like this:
God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference…
Encouraging your dad and the other woman to do the right thing is what you can do, but what they decide to do with your encouragement is their decision. You’ll have to accept that they will make their own choices, or you’ll go nuts with a sense of responsibility over something over which you have no control. Does that make sense?
Just how would you propose to intervene? Your dad is ostensibly an adult. He is making the choice to cheat on your mother. What can you do to stop this? Nothing. It’s up to him to stop himself.Kinda, should i intervene though?
My mother is predictably quite upset and she is doubtful that she’ll be married for longJust how would you propose to intervene? Your dad is ostensibly an adult. He is making the choice to cheat on your mother. What can you do to stop this? Nothing. It’s up to him to stop himself.
I think the priest is putting too much responsibility on you. You’ve told your mother, correct? What is she doing at this point? Is she in denial? Is she willing to live with the situation as it is?
No, you should not “intervene.”
She will remain married to your father even if they separate. I have forgotten now, did they marry in the Church?My mother is predictably quite upset and she is doubtful that she’ll be married for long
YesShe will remain married to your father even if they separate. I have forgotten now, did they marry in the Church?
The divorce is a civil matter. No problem with that, but she remains married to your father as far as Catholic law is concerned.She wants to divorce him
Ok, unless it’s annuled?The divorce is a civil matter. No problem with that, but she remains married to your father as far as Catholic law is concerned.
They took vows before God. Even if they civilly divorce, they are still married in God’s eyes. That means that your mother cannot remarry (not that she will probably be thinking about that!) and that if your dad continues to see his partner in adultery, his soul will be in mortal danger.She wants to divorce him
She was too upset to mention it presumablyThey took vows before God. Even if they civilly divorce, they are still married in God’s eyes. That means that your mother cannot remarry (not that she will probably be thinking about that!) and that if your dad continues to see his partner in adultery, his soul will be in mortal danger.
Has your mum told you this?
Annulment is not guaranteed, even with infidelity. It’s dependent upon proving that the marriage was invalid from the START, not from where they are today. If the tribunal investigation shows that both of your parents knew what they were doing when they married, and had every intention to keep their vows, then it would be impossible to annul their marriage, since they were able to make that commitment. However, if one of them (your father, for argument’s sake) never meant to keep his vows and intended to cheat on, or was not opposed to cheating on your mum, then the marriage might be annulled.Ok, unless it’s annuled?
Are you really arabian?
Sorry, what I meant was, did your mum tell you that she wants to divorce your dad?She was too upset to mention it presumably
Shen implied that she didn’t want to be married to him anymoreSorry, what I meant was, did your mum tell you that she wants to divorce your dad?
OK, well, she doesn’t need to and probably shouldn’t be confiding in you as to her plans from here on out. I hope that she has some support - does she have any family members living nearby? You mentioned your aunty, but that’s your dad’s sister. Does your mum have anyone to lean on right now?Shen implied that she didn’t want to be married to him anymore
You are not in a position to do much intervention, and it is better if your parents keep it that way. If they do their duties, they’ll keep this off of your shoulders entirely. It is not your business to run their marriage. You will do your part if, as always, you support them when you can, particularly when you can see they are in particular need of it. By that I mean being mature about lending household help without being asked and general stress reduction, not that you try to become a marriage counselor for your own parents! If you were fifteen years older and actually did marriage counseling for a living, that would still be a bad idea. Do not go there, do not go there, do not go there.Kinda, should i intervene though?
That is natural. Try not to put too much stock in things they may take back later in the end, anyway. Have you ever found yourself wanting to say something about your parents that you didn’t really mean, or that you meant at the time but did not mean later? Do not put too much stock into what comes out of their mouths right now, then. They are under a lot of stress and may say things in front of you that they will later wish they had never said. It is to be hoped that we are saints as much in hard times as in easy, but it will be a work of mercy not especially avoid judging others on what they do at such a time.Shen implied that she didn’t want to be married to him anymore