S
Snerticus
Guest
I understand totally that we are all responsible for what we put up here on the forums. I think you need to realize that too - in not judging very vague posts rashly. I was not trying to tell anyone to get divorced. If you’ve ever read any of my posts about divorce, I’ve never ever condoned it nor will condone it in any case. But what I’m confused about is where in this post does it come across that I make it seem like divorce is okay at all?
- I never stated why I got a divorce, or even alluded as to why.
- I stated that now that I’m divorced, I don’t ever want to remarry or date
3) My post was in response to a person who said they were shy and it was difficult to date in that type of setting. My response was trying to imply that perhaps God made them shy for a reason and I was trying to allude that instead of getting in a serious relationship and possibly setting yourself up in the future for a marriage God may not want you to be in, to accept that maybe being single is best in some cases. And I was trying to stay within the bounds of this thread by stating ‘why I was still single’.
I’ve already apologized that I may have thrown up red flags unintentionally. You obviously did not accept my apology. It’s your prerogative, and you don’t have to.
I have no fault with the beginning of your op in response to mine. First you tell me that you may be wrong in your assessment. Fine, I accept that. Later, you make the judgements quoted above anyway. Please by all means, point out in my op where your judgements came from. I am really interested in what exactly I said to make you think the above judgements. And that little shrug makes the knife twist even more painful.But the Church does have something to say about divorce. Divorce is allowed for grave reasons, such as the safety of the spouse or children. This does not mean the parties are free to remarry, of course. But divorce is not allowed simply because one feels he or she has made a mistake, chosen the wrong person or vocation. In marriages in which there are children, the pain divorce causes them is not justifiable except for very grave reasons.
I’m glad that you are so happy now, although I don’t remember where in the gospels it says that our soul purpose in life is to seek our own happiness and contentment.If you don’t have minor children (and I sincerely hope you don’t), why don’t you apply for the annulment and pursue religious life?
In any case, since I am not looking to get remarried, or date (and even if one was to put me in a situation in which dating was possible, I would not) why you would even suggest that I need to join a religious order? That is a very private thing that I have been trying to discern for years since my divorce, and because I am not annulled, I have at least one hurdle to overcome before I can do that successfully. I have come to my own (yes, my own, not yours) very temporary conclusion that God does not want me to be consecrated to a religious order. The jury, however, is still not out, and since I cannot pursue an annullment at this time I am not going to stress over that either.
Perhaps you would like me to pick out one of your previous posts and start applying my own judgements to that? Would it take that for you to understand that you should not start judging a circumsance you don’t know anything about? Because I can guarantee you that I will know nothing about your circumstances in whatever post I pick yet I would be fully cabaple of putting my own ‘spin’ on it so that it appears as if I did. And not only that, but according to what you just said, I would have every right to misinterpet and wrongly comment on your post simply because you may have left out information I wasn’t aware of.
To everyone else: I’m really sorry about this. I did not mean to infer I condoned divorce and I really hope I didn’t come across that way in my op in this thread. As a matter of fact, I still don’t see how I condoned divorce in my first post. If anyone would like to pm me and explain it to me, I would appreciate it, though.
I don’t like anyone judging someone else, especially if the post was honest. I guess I now realize I like being judged myself even less. To all: I apologize about my outbursts. Please by all means get back to the topic at hand. My own comments on why I’m still single are obviously of no consequence to anyone and the point of my short first post here must have fallen on deaf ears, so for that I also apologize and will not comment any further…
My family on both sides is very Catholic. I went to a Catholic school and we were taught all about the sacrements and the purpose of the Mass, but somewhere along the line, I don’t know whether it was because the older generation was too embarassed to deal with it, or because there was a total ‘head in the sand’ approach to the secularisation of society, nobody ever actually said, point-blank, ‘sex before marriage is wrong and living in sin is wrong’ until I was already well into my twenties. It was always swept politely under the carpet (see below…)
NOTE: THINKING - it’s a girl-thing, but sometimes it helps!) why I actually made the effort to go to Mass and what it all actually meant to me. I suppose I started to compare the really strong relationship my parents have and the way my family pulls together with other families who are less close and question how big a part faith played in all of that. I also got really into history at college (that’s high school to you transaltlantic folk) and as we studied the Reformation and I am actually related to a real live (well, dead actually - obviously) Catholic martyr, I think it made it all the more fascinating.
) But this life is barely a “blip” in the scheme of eternity.