What's the point in dating in today's society

  • Thread starter Thread starter jdavani
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
jdavani said:
I’ll provide for myself. I don’t see why I need to be provided for
Click to expand...
Why can’t your parents provide for themselves in exactly the same way? If they can’t, through no fault of their own, don’t you think it’s a possibility that something similarly unforeseen might happen to you?

I normally don’t like the family-will-take-care-of-you reasoning for marrying and having children (as there are no guarantees), but I think there’s a lot of unfairness in your particular situation, where you are “paying in” to the multigenerational system, but don’t feel like you deserve to take anything out.
 
Last edited:
With my legal knowledge I’ll plan for just about everything. Plus I’m financially well off. If I ever become incapacitated I’ll have a guardian and I’ll be placed in a nursing home. My dad needs help because he’s not very smart and my mom is sick.
 
I’m under 6’ tall. I’m not that good looking, I wouldn’t say I’m ugly but you would never pick me out of the crowd. Women rarely messaged me and those who did were almost always at least 5 years older or more. No thanks. When I initiated contact, I got maybe one date for every 20 to 30 I contacted. Half of those dates turned out to have 10 to 15 year old photos. No thanks. I’ve done better in real life than online so I haven’t done online in years.

Contrast with: very good friend of mine is 6’1", blond and good looking. He got messaged a lot; when he initiated contact, he nearly always got at least one date out of it. Now he’s in a relationship with someone he met that way and they will likely be getting married this year. I’m happy for him. But it doesn’t work for me and I suspect many other men are in my boat there. At least I have enough sociability and status to get a few dates in real life. But what about the men who don’t have either?
 
My mom doesn’t like marriage because my dad beat my mom almost every day of it
 
Zzyzx_Road said:
I’m under 6’ tall. I’m not that good looking, I wouldn’t say I’m ugly but you would never pick me out of the crowd. Women rarely messaged me and those who did were almost always at least 5 years older or more. No thanks. When I initiated contact, I got maybe one date for every 20 to 30 I contacted. Half of those dates turned out to have 10 to 15 year old photos. No thanks. I’ve done better in real life than online so I haven’t done online in years.

Contrast with: very good friend of mine is 6’1", blond and good looking. He got messaged a lot; when he initiated contact, he nearly always got at least one date out of it. Now he’s in a relationship with someone he met that way and they will likely be getting married this year. I’m happy for him. But it doesn’t work for me and I suspect many other men are in my boat there. At least I have enough sociability and status to get a few dates in real life. But what about the men who don’t have either?
Click to expand...
Was this on a specifically Catholic site, and have you had friends help you with your photos? (Men are notoriously bad at choosing photos of themselves.)
 
Online dating is a bit like online shopping in that regard, you have to start with looks and basic info like height and age. Obviously when you know someone in the real world their appearance can grow on you when you get to know them.
 
jdavani said:
My mom doesn’t like marriage because my dad beat my mom almost every day of it
Click to expand...
That would do it.

When you have some free time, you might want to do some counseling, as it sounds like you’ve got one or two family of origin problems to work out.
 
The average male height, at least in the US, is 5’10. Being below 6 feet isn’t at all bad. Also, I don’t know if any woman who prefers blonds. I like dark-haired men myself.
 
I don’t think I need it. I went when I was younger. I’m over a lot
 
Last edited:
I wonder if there aren’t some nice single Catholic women at Ave Maria?
 
The height thing can be tricky in that both genders do seem to have a preference for the male to be taller. It can be harder for tall females and short males as even if they are open minded others won’t be.
 
redbetta said:
The average male height, at least in the US, is 5’10. Being below 6 feet isn’t at all bad. Also, I don’t know if any woman who prefers blonds. I like dark-haired men myself.
Click to expand...
I know there are women who like blond guys (Robert Redford and Brad Pitt have had their admirers, after all), but I suspect it’s a minority taste.

It’s “tall, dark and handsome” not “tall, fair and handsome.”
 
redbetta said:
Yeah, guys have rejected me for being tall.
Click to expand...
My sister had to deal with that. She was 6 feet tall by the time she was in 6th grade. She did eventually marry someone taller than her. 🙂

I never paid much attention to height. Being 6’2", though, I can count on one hand the number of women I’ve met that are taller than I am.
 
I’m pretty neutral about hair colour but am a bit picky with height. As for money, I wouldn’t want to be involved with someone who is likely to be detrimental to me financially, don’t know if that would be considered money grabby.
 
Never cared about height but I don’t think I could date a non catholic or a non American
 
Money grabby would be rejecting someone who doesn’t make six figures, not someone who is fiscally irresponsible.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top