What's the point in dating in today's society

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Life is like a box of chocolates, if you over indulge you get type two diabetes
 
Xantippe said:
Was this on a specifically Catholic site, and have you had friends help you with your photos? (Men are notoriously bad at choosing photos of themselves.)
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Been on several sites, both Catholic and secular. Best results came from eHarmony but they weren’t that good. Yes to the photos. Even CM is a beauty contest. It is what is and I’m done. No more need to bang my head against that wall.

The nice part about being Catholic is I learned not to worry about this stuff anymore. I go dancing and whatever other activities, and I get dates out of that. Pretty much via social circles. Of course that requires getting out of the house and having at least some small amount of money available to spend.
Xantippe said:
I know there are women who like blond guys (Robert Redford and Brad Pitt have had their admirers, after all), but I suspect it’s a minority taste.

It’s “tall, dark and handsome” not “tall, fair and handsome.”
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True. But there are lots of girls who like the good looking blond look.
 
One more: for men, being shorter than average is kryptonite online. Same with fat women. No wonder I got so many decade old photos.

Both can spiff themselves up with better diet, exercise, clothing, grooming, etc., to overcome that in real life. Helps to clean up the personality too. Of course that usually won’t make for better results online. Got to get out of the house.

True story: While still in college, I had to go to traffic school for two days. Met this woman around 28 years old, beautiful face, nice hair, but she was fat, no two ways about it. But I also noticed that she had very nice clothes and a huge diamond wedding ring and I thought who gives a ring that good to a woman like this? Then during the two days, her personality came out. She was very nice, very charming, very feminine, absolutely no snark, no sarcasm, no pc, none of that fat girl negativity that some fat girls have. Everybody liked her. At the end of the two days, I got it. She still wasn’t my type, but I could see somebody falling for that. So I wasn’t surprised when I saw her husband pick her up in a new Mercedes. I didn’t get a good look at him so can’t say about that.
 
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Zzyzx_Road said:
True. But there are lots of girls who like the good looking blond look.
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I’m of somewhat Scandi ancestry, and I’m afraid that fair guys make me subconsciously think, “We’ve got to be related somehow.”
 
Zzyzx_Road said:
Never said that. You’re reading something into my words that isn’t there.
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That was a joke.

I was pointing out the irony of you saying that fat girls are especially negative–which some people would view as an example of negativity on your part.
 
Introducing yourself is a long way from “hitting on”.

Also, where do you go to Mass that people are somehow signaling how good of a Catholic that they are? And there is a sort of spiritual haughtiness that is deadly. And we homeschooled people are not some sort of cookie cutter personality.
 
In today’s climate it can seem like just approaching a woman is harassment
 
jdavani said:
Let’s face it. It seems like the more devout you are the less attractive you are
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I saw from your background that you’ve had a porn addiction. I mean, this may have affected your taste for women in a negative way? There are different types of devout. Some women have a wholesome glow, a light-hearted, innocent sparkle, and an easy, joyful laugh that is a result of their devotion to faith. This doesn’t appeal to you? I’ve definitely heard the opposite.

But, you really just can’t make blanket statements on what people find attractive. It’s impossible.
 
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Actually I want to take that back. I think there’s nothing more beautiful than a devout woman. I was just venting. Regarding my former porn addiction I’ll be honest and say that when I quit I began viewing women less as objects and more as people.
 
Exactly!

Good luck with the bar.

Make friends with lovely singles like her. Network, get to know people.

Please don’t put too much value in some of these responses on this thread. I have not heard the term ‘game’. But it implies the lack of genuine in a male’s motives.

Please don’t put too much value in the reference to top 10% vs top 20 to 40%. We aren’t cattle. We aren’t on the market for show quality stock.

We are God’s creatures. If it is God’s will, you will meet and marry mrs right. Pray, have faith and live your life.

I admire your devotion to your parents.

My mother gave me 3 pieces of advice about finding a partner, the biggest was - if he respects his parents , esp his mum, he will respect you.
 
ChunkMonk said:
t’s a colloquial term for the dating world. Basically, pver time men realized that certain behaviors and traits correlated positively with increased success with women. So they tried to quantify this all down in a set of ‘rules’ and ‘tricks’ that would give them an edge in the dating world.
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And why are we, who live the faith life, using this term? Ascribing to this philosophy?

Rules and tricks =
Tricks = the work of Satan. Need I go on?
 
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