What's the point in dating in today's society

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I’ve spoke with him: he is not nearly as pessimistic as people are making him out to be here. I’m beginning to think other posters are causing him to doubt himself.
 
jdavani said:
Right, I hear what you’re saying but there are many people out there who will just try to use a guy like me and misrepresent their intentions in order to take advantage of my financial situation. There are a lot of golddiggers out there.

And what’s wrong with the girl who wears baggy clothes with the frizzy hair and the unshaved legs?
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Aren’t you about $100k in debt right now?

I don’t think golddiggers have the patience to date a guy with simple tastes who (eventually) expects them to take him out, too. (I think that after a first couple dates of paying, it’s fair to tell a lady friend that she gets to take you out the next time. Couples who are serious about each other eventually take turns paying or split tabs.)
 
We date to help remedy today’s society. We date and then we hopefully marry. Then we become responsible for the rearing and upbringing of the next generation of society. The only way to save the society from what you seem to feel is happening to it is to be the action that corrects it.
 
jdavani said:
I’m pretty sure that’s why women think men are creeps. I’m not going to message some random girl online just because she responded to a thread of mine. Besides my first impression is already gone.
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90% of the problem with hitting on random women is:
(1) Being inappropriate to start. If your first question is whether I would like a picture of your genitalia and/or am willing to share a picture of mine, that’s creepy.
(2) Getting angry when a woman says no. Far too many guys think a woman owes them a date and then start insulting her if she’s not interested.

As far as the internet goes, the reason a lot of women think men are creeps is a lot of men on the internet really aren’t making any effort to find out about the women they’re talking to beyond what they want for their own sexual gratification. The friends I’ve had who did online dating said all they were really looking for was a guy who showed that he’d read their profile and didn’t jump immediately to crude requests.

FWIW, I’m a 29 year old Catholic woman. I was homeschooled but I’ve been told the awkwardness wore off after a few years of life in wider society. Living away from family and holding down a job tends to wear a lot of the edges off.
 
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So here’s my take on this thread,

Single guy bemoans not being able to find girl

Single girl responds

Topic gets around to pizza. Single girl mentions she can’t eat it all herself.

Single guy , although suggesting anchovies are ok, decides he really doesn’t want a girl.

Single girl speaks to single guy in pm and then defends him to us who used to use boom boxes.

Single guy says he has to pass bar and can’t think of pizza, anchovies, single girls at this point.

What a great movie plot!

We need a dog.

Single guy, perhaps the subtleties of this escape you
 
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Single girl also mentions discussions with single guy not on the thread though…
 
A lot of people are wary of creeps online. So far my problem with online dating, majority of the guys are the type to initiate convo but would stop replying eventually even though I reply and am respectful to them, and guys who just keep it online not suggesting to meet up. for the most part I am the one steering the convo because otherwise nothing would happen, and it is frustrating. I would like a guy to lead. Although on Tinder I experienced getting a match and the guy messaged saying he is looking for a hook up and not anything serious. Another time I had to block someone on a Catholic dating site. But these are rarities.
 
What’s the point? To have sex. To raise children. To have a companion through life. To not die alone.

But if you’re asking: are these really achievable? That depends.

How tall are you? What are your finances like? How handsome are you? Do you have tight Game? When you meet girls, do they generally go out of their way to talk to you, smile at you, laugh at your stupid jokes… Or do they tend to ignore you, rarely meet your eye, and give a half-hearted chuckle at best?

If you are a top 20% guy then you’ve got a good chance of landing a quality girl. If you’re a top 30% guy, you’ve got a fighting chance. If you are a 50% or below guy, then you’re most likely out of luck. The quality of girl you can realistically pull and keep locked down is going to be very low.

Something tells me you’re probably a top 40% maybe top 30% guy, but you probably think you’re a top 20%. Your best bet is to think of the quality of girl you think you can pull, and realize that you can actually pull two full levels below that. (If you think you can pull 7s and 8s, you can actually pull 5s and 6s, if that).
 
DarkLight said:
The friends I’ve had who did online dating said all they were really looking for was a guy who showed that he’d read their profile and didn’t jump immediately to crude requests.
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This is such complete nonsense.

Let me explain to you the average guy’s experience with online dating:

For every 50 girls you message, you will be lucky to get 1-2 responses. Roughly 10% of those will respond more than once. Of those, less than 1% will ever get to a meet-and-greet level, and of those less than 1% will ever go to a second date. The average man will never recieve a message from anyone who is even remotely attractive.

Studies have been done on this. Even on secular dating apps, the majority of messages are either simple ‘hello’, some kind of lame joke, or mentioning something on the profile. Only the most attractive, absolute highest quality men get any attention, and only highly attractive, high quality men get consistent responses from their overtures. Even the highest quality men will get less total unsolicited attention than totally average girls.

So if you’re a guy who is: “show(ing) that he’d read their profile and didn’t jump immediately to crude requests.” To a normal girl in online dating, you will join roughly seventy other men doing the same thing.

Online dating is a total joke for men and a free self-esteem boost for women. Basically, your friends are either lying, horrendously ugly, or (like most women) they don’t consider any man below a 7 to be a real human being and therefore the hundreds of guys who messaged them are completely ignored.
 
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ChunkMonk said:
For every 50 girls you message, you will be lucky to get 1-2 responses. Roughly 10% of those will respond more than once. Of those, less than 1% will ever get to a meet-and-greet level, and of those less than 1% will ever go to a second date. The average man will never recieve a message from anyone who is even remotely attractive.
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I’m not sure that’s much different from the actual success rate for women.

The main difference, from what I’ve been told, is women do get a LOT of attention that’s largely slated towards casual encounters, often very crude. Lots and lots of “Hey baby, want to hook up?” type of messages - most said that was the vast majority, even for women who put that they were looking for serious relationships only. Obvious form letters were also extremely common, and often came from men whose profiles clearly indicated they weren’t at all compatible (think things like guys with “women should stay in the kitchen” messages on their profiles messaging women who call themselves feminists on theirs).

Messages that had any sort of interaction with the woman’s actual profile were a rarity, and of those many did things like make comments on the woman’s breasts or her weight. The majority were also still seeking casual sex. Men who were genuinely interested in a relationship and had some reason to talk to the woman beyond that she was female and breathing were pretty rare.

All that to say that women can get a lot of attention on the internet, but the majority of interest is almost entirely focused on immediate sexual gratification and tends to treat the woman as of little importance beyond possessing functioning sexual anatomy.
 
Dunno about you. I am female, and my experience with online dating has been in general. Guy contacts me. I respond whether I am attractex to him or not. I am respectful and asks questions and answers his. Guy does not know how to steer convo, so I do it. I would rather they did. Some back and forth, but usually they are the ones who stop replying or messaging. If they do not want to talk anymore that is ok with me. I think it is rude though when I take the time to talk to them, but when it is my turn to ask they are hestant to reply, or just ignore it completely. They can tell me outright, I don’t want to chat with you anymore, thanks for the time. I have also done my part in starting convos, but most guys don’t reply. As for the viewers, majority view profiles but do not even message.
 
Exaggerations are not helpful. A lot of women describe themselves as feminists, but I have yet to see a guy says he wants a woman who just stays in the kitchen. Maybe among misogynist and backward societies that adhere to shariah law who think women should not be educated and be covered in a tent. The problem in the West is the opposite though.
 
It’s the internet. The point I’m making is that the kind of guys who are messaging every woman they can find in the area aren’t exactly the normal western male. You get a lot of bottom of the barrel men who just want masturbatory sex with a woman and have no interest in her as a person. (And I’m not counting either looks or income potential into that category.)
 
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And I’m telling you that is not true.

Let’s do an experiment: I will take an average girl’s photo and make an average profile, and see what kind of messages I get.

You take an average guys photo. Well wait, lets stop right there. Not what you think is average, women think average is a 6’2" square-jawed genetic winner with a gorgeous smile and high facial symmetry. I’ll pick the average 5’9" guy with a truly average face. And then I’ll give you the password to this profile and let’s see you try to score a date with a moderately attractive girl.

Have fun sending hundreds of messages where you have to craft something interesting with the typical three sentence female profile:

“I’m just a regular outgoing down to earth girl! I love traveling and music! My dog=life!”

I would seriously love to see this actually go down. We could even compare our results and post them here (editing for language). For added fun, let’s then replace the photo of the average guy with a total hunk and then post nasty, crude, ‘yo gurl let’s hook up’ messages and see how many approving responses you get.

It might open your eyes a bit.
 
Then you are either the unluckiest girl in the world, not even remotely attractive, or straight up something is seriously wrong with your conversational style because I and every other man that has ever tried the online dating scene will tell a completely different story.

Or, and this is probably the most likely, you are a decent looking chick who is going after and responding to men far out of your league.

Otherwise, hand me the jets to your profile and I’ll get you twenty ‘serious’ dates with Nice Guy Average Joe’s in a month.
 
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