What's the point in dating in today's society

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So some (allegedly male) blue-pilled white-knight beta on Reddit wanted some e-likes and decided to virtue signal his feminist credentials for a bunch of women that would friendzone him faster than he can say ‘intersectionality’ and suddenly I have to pretend what’s real ain’t real.
 
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ChunkMonk said:
So some (allegedly male) blue-pilled white-knight beta on Reddit wanted some e-likes and decided to virtue signal his feminist credentials for a bunch of women that would friendzone him faster than he can say ‘intersectionality’ and suddenly I have to pretend what’s real ain’t real.
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So far you’ve decided that:
(1) A guy on reddit
(2) Those of us listening to our female friends
(3) Women on CAF who actually identify as female online

Are all either lying or extreme outliers. (And yes, while I’ve never personally done online dating, I can verify that in many spaces simply being female online can get some very crude reactions.)
 
ChunkMonk said:
For a guy, knowing his general ‘field of play’ is very important.
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One important feature of the “field of play” is that most women are grossed out by the numerical scores, because it makes it very clear that who they are as a human being is irrelevant to that person. (And very pretty women are, if anything, more grossed by it than average women.)

Plus, putting the numerical stuff upfront ignores compatibility and shared interests.
 
Why am I not surprised this has descended into red pill rubbish?

OP (if you’re still reading this), it sounds as though you’re just not meeting the right people. But they are out there - do you do any activities or hobbies that would let you meet new people? I would focus on making new friends first and then if you ever wanted to, you could consider taking it further.
 
My anecdotal evidence outweighs yours, yes. Being that it’s mine, so I know it’s true vs. yours which… Well I know that it came from an anonymous person I’ve interacted with on CAF a few times.
DarkLight said:
, I can verify that in many spaces simply being female online can get some very crude reactions
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No male has ever had crude reactions while online. Never. Not a single time.
 
I do think the issue of physical attraction can be one issue with online dating. Which is why I’d recommend adding in activities where you meet people of the opposite sex. People are much more open to dating those they know than someone they only have a profile on.

@jdavani I don’t know exactly how old you are, but given that you mention finishing up law school I’m presuming late 20’s? I would keep an eye out for women in their late 20’s to early 30’s. A lot of the issues you mention sound like they’re related to immaturity.
 
Oh no! Women don’t like it when men do something that is entirely natural and perfectly normal? Color me shocked! I guess I’ll have to regulate my behavior with people when I’m talking to them like every other man on Earth and not speak to girls I’m interested in the way I do when I’m behind an anonymous handle!

Yes, because I rated this girl as physically more attractive than the other girl I clearly think she is an automaton incapable of thought or personality. I am positive her secret girl emotional sense will sniff out my toxic masculinity too. Because that’s why 90% of girls have an ex who turned out to be a psycho in disguise and dates that turned out to be crazy. Because of their ability to read a person’s mind.
 
Perhaps I am missing the subtleties. I did end up messaging her for a while and she’s really nice. She likes Dostoevsky.

I do have to the focus on the bar too but hey I can still talk and get to know some lovely women, right?
 
Gosh you give up quickly. Life is not meant to be easy…what happened to carrying the cross Christ gives us. God gives us strength for these things, so we don’t need to know how or which way to go or what the future holds… all we have to do is follow Jesus. So I suggest picking up your rosary and praying it (daily if you can), going off to adoration, at least Sunday masses (add in some weekly ones if you can), read some books on the lives of the saints and don’t forget to make the Bible your regular reading material and let God lead you on the hows and wherefores of this life.
 
It’s not a competition.

You have anecdotal evidence of being a man on the internet. No one here is saying your experience of being a man isn’t true. What we’re saying is that your experience as a man doesn’t tell you what it’s like to be a woman. It’s not a competition of who has it worse, it’s an acknowledgement that dating and marriage isn’t a cakewalk for the vast majority of the population, male or female.
 
DarkLight said:
And yes, while I’ve never personally done online dating, I can verify that in many spaces simply being female online can get some very crude reactions.
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I’m too old to have done online dating because I was married by the time they invented it. However, in my day they had “personal ads” that worked like online dating with snail mail. You put an ad like “SWF age 21 seeking SWM for good times and possible relationship. Likes concerts, hiking, and hanging out on the beach. Dislikes smoking and liars.” and men would write letters to your PO box. The paper in the major city where I lived right out of college had a legendarily huge personals section, so I took out a fairly generic ad (there was no picture included with these, you were supposed to send a picture to the person in the mail if you wanted) just to see what I’d get. I got a HUGE amount of responses (like 50).

Some of the responses were obviously from men who were mailing every single woman on the personals page hoping to get a response. Some of them were incredibly dirty. Some of them sounded like the guy writing the response had “problems” to put it nicely. This is without them even seeing a picture of me, all they know is I’m some 22-year-old single white female out there who likes a couple of bands or whatever generic thing I put in the ad. Fortunately, these guys could only write to me once (because the PO box service would only forward the mail once) and could not keep filling up my e-mail box or otherwise harassing me, or else I’m pretty sure some of them would have.

The Reddit author wrote,
Also, a horrible feeling that there are some terrifying, awful men out there that will in one breath call you the most beautiful creature in the world, and then—when you fail to meet whatever demand or expectation they’ve laid out for you—will say things to you that you’re pretty sure only get said during prison riots.
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I’m surprised this was news to him especially if he hangs out on 4chan. My mother met a number of men like this, back in the 40s and 50s. I’m glad she shared it with me because men will say these things right to your face too when you “disappoint” them in some way. They are potential abusers and need to be avoided like the plague. One can only hope they will not reproduce.
 
jdavani said:
I know. I kind of regret making this thread now
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Eh, some of these topics tend to go round and round here a lot. Don’t take it personally.

You sound like you’re doing ok, just frustrated. I have known a number of guys who get to their late 20’s or early 30’s and feel like there’s nothing out there for them. Girls too. And ironically, I feel like the loneliness is often harder on the guys.

Keep your chin up. You’re almost done with law school, and you don’t have any debt. That’s good! It shows foresight and responsibility, which are both good traits. You’re probably a bit too busy to really get out there and meet people, and you’re not in a place with a lot of Catholics. That can be rough, but it’s not the end of the line.
 
My advice: try to be content and yourself. Women love a independent man, who isn’t clingy or needing someone to “ complete them.” In my own experience, I always meet women when I’m not looking. I do sympathize with you, because I never attract Catholic women either. Just Wiccans and Protestants lol.
 
I agree. It’s not your fault OP, I hope the advice you got will help.
 
I didn’t say it was a competition, I said this stereotype of women having it oh so tough on dating sites is a joke. Men have to figure out a way to get a girl interested, women have to figure out which guy pursuing them is most interesting. Who has it harder? I don’t care. Obviously men have it a lot harder in some ways. Maybe most ways. What difference does it make?

I responded to a single point that I found to be ridiculous.
 
jdavani said:
I know. I kind of regret making this thread now
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I wonder why you have trouble with women. Seriously. I mean, what could it possibly be?

Be sure to tip you fedora to the lady before you drive her and her ‘friend’ Chad home from the bar.
 
Where I live there aren’t many Catholics my age. Like I said earlier they’re just nominally catholic and will expect you to sleep with her before marriage and live together. I’m not about that. I take my faith seriously and I want a woman who does the same because when I think of my future children I want a decent mother who would rear my children up with the faith. I can’t tell you how many women I’ve met who won’t date a man who waits for marriage
 
On the point of your being almost done with law school: Law school is an exhausting experience in itself and by the time you get to the final year, you are tired and problems seem magnified.

It’s entirely possible that when you are out in law practice, things will seem much more positive. Just focus on getting through law school and passing the bar.

I had a single male buddy who was in law school and a devout Catholic. Once he was out working, it did not take him long to get married at all. A lot of women, including Catholic women, would love to marry a lawyer. Stay positive.
 
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