When did RCC start charging to use the Church for marriage?

[Ghoti]

In fact, a better comparison for weddings than funerals or private baptisms (and when was the last time there was a private baptism??? If it happened, did it involve that much real estate of the parish church, or just the font or baptistry) would be…

…quinceanera!!! A simple blessing of a young girl who has started the road to Christian womanhood!!!
http://www.usccb.org/liturgy/Quinceanera.pdf

Hmmm…a “bar Mass-vah”?

 

[Ghoti]

Exactly! There are no “funeral planners” running around talking about how important this day is and how you only get one in your life.

Sorry…we already have funeral planning.

“Hey, you’re young and swingin’,
No time to think about tomorrow,
But there ain’t no way to deny it
Some day, you’re gonna buy it.
Plan today,
Go with Ferryman!
Ferryman, Ferryman,
he’s the man with the plot, the man with the plan!
Ferryman, Ferryman,
He’s the mortician man who loves you!
A lot!
Ooooooo, bye-byeeeee…”:harp:

 

[Scottgun]

While I can certainly understand some sort of fee to cover the costs of opening the church, heating, cooling, cleaning, etc., $2000 for a parishioner seems steep to me.

Our daughter is getting married in our local Cathedral, rather than our home parish, and I am perfectly glad to pay the $1100, which includes their wedding coordinator to keep things on track for the ceremony and the wonderful organist. I find that quite reasonable, and I would find a significant fee for a non-parishioner to use your historic church reasonable, as well. But several thousand for a parishioner? That just doesn’t sit well with me…(now I know all about “bridezillas” who use a church for backdrop, make a mess, etc. This is clearly different.)

Frankly, it ought to be steep because marriage ought to take place in the nuptial mass in front of the regular congregation, imho. Custom orders always cost extra.

 

[sacredcello]

money.cnn.com/2005/05/20/pf/weddings/

The average cost of a wedding in the US taken in a survey in 2005 was $30,000. Now, I know that this is not for all weddings…just the average wedding.

If a church costs $150-$1000 that just seems like a drop in the bucket. And frankly if you are tithing an average wedding…well 1/10 of $30,000 is $3,000. And I don’t think that’s what any church is requesting.

I know at our parish, if a couple is struggling but wishes to receive the sacrament of marriage…fees are either waived or put on a sliding scale. But just to be clear…sacraments are free…but a parish cannot support itself on good intentions only. Most couples that marry at our parish, do not actively practice their faith here because they relocate soon after their wedding.
Pray on it…ask the Lord to lead you to the reason you want a Catholic wedding. If it is to receive the graces you will be blessed…if it’s only because the church has an aisle and good picture taking, then pray some more.
You will be in my prayers.

Yes, I am well aware that the average Bridezilla spends tens of thousands on her wedding. I am a professional musician and play these weddings every weekend.

I, on the other hand, am a devout Catholic who would prefer to focus on the Eucharist at my wedding at the parish which I attend which just happens to be a church known as the “queen of the Missions.” Fancy photography? No, thank you. Neither do I have any need for my girlfriends to spend money on useless bridesmaids dresses, etc. Good liturgical music would be a plus, but most of my friends who are professionals will pitch in.

Thanks for your prayers. It looks like FH and I might be getting married at the parish Saturday vigil in order to avoid a $2,000. fee. Even though I have already given thousands of dollars to this parish in tithe, I just don’t think it’s right to charge parishioners this much for a sacrament.

 

[sacredcello]

Frankly, it ought to be steep because marriage ought to take place in the nuptial mass in front of the regular congregation, imho. Custom orders always cost extra.

You make a very good point. Thanks! I have never seen a wedding take place during Mass. FH and I are talking about it.

 

[sacredcello]

so do it during or right after Mass, much more convenient for you and all involved. we are speaking of a simple ceremony without all the flowers, bridesmaids, music and other hooplah of a big wedding.

No hooplah for me, thank you. But, still, I don’t think they will let us get away with having a private wedding ceremony right after Mass without paying them big bucks.

It will be interesting to have our wedding during the parish Mass, and my fiance thinks so, too!

Thanks for the suggestion!

 

[Sarabande]

My sister is getting married and all of the churches she has checked into are charging between $150 & $1000 for the use of the Church, even if you are a member. When did this start? When my other sisters got married 10 years ago & 15 years ago, the church was free. Of course, you paid the musician & the priest but you didn’t have to pay to use the Church. This seems inherently wrong–You don’t have to pay to use the Church for any other sacrament–or are they charging for funerals now too?

I didn’t read all of the responses, and I’m sure you got very good ones. But I can tell you based on my parish and other parishes around me why it does cost to have a nuptial mass as well as funeral masses.

For one, it depends on how well the parish is supported by the congregation or the economic area of the parish. The costs of caring for a church - especially for old churches which has a lot of upkeep - are very high. I know from speaking to people on the parish council a few years back, that the costs to keep my parish open for a couple hours on a Saturday is literally a few thousand dollars. This is for the lighting, heating, cooling along with the sextons who clean up after the weddings. Granted my parish is a 150 year old cathedral basilica, but there are many large, old churches that would cost approximately the same. The congregation is very small and not that well off, so what the parish receives, even through tithing, wouldn’t be enough to support the days for weddings or funerals when they have so many other expenses. From doing many weddings there as a musician, almost as soon as the last guest leaves, they immediately turn the lights out to conserve energy costs. No pictures are permitted in the cathedral (except during the ceremony) or outside of the cathedral after the wedding.

That said, I do know that if a congregant can’t afford to pay the donation, it will be waived or lessened. When my husband and I were married there, the donation was waived because both of us had dedicated and volunteered a few years of service in the music program there.

If the congregation is small, not well-off, or just doesn’t donate weekly, many times the parish can’t afford to have the church open, pay the people who clean up on Fridays or Saturdays, as well as cover for the insurance which they need in case a guest or the bridal couple hurts themselves during the ceremony and decide to sue the parish. (This has happened a few time in my city at churches of various denominations, and is one of the reasons why my parish will no longer permits rice, birdseed, etc. for after the ceremony or anything on the pews to avoid potential law suits if a person slips, falls and hurts him/herself.)

I don’t know if they charge for baptisms because all baptisms of infants take place after mass in the baptistry. I’ve actually only attended a handful of infant baptisms that took place during a regular mass. Almost all of them in my area occurred after mass on a Sunday in parishes all over the area, but I don’t know if the parents had to pay for it.

 

[dixieagle]

Frankly, it ought to be steep because marriage ought to take place in the nuptial mass in front of the regular congregation, imho. Custom orders always cost extra.

I think that a Nuptial Mass CANNOT replace the regularly scheduled Sunday Mass, if I read the rules correctly. (I do not mean that a nuptial Mass held on a Saturday after 4 pm doesn’t “count” for one’s weekly obligation - that is another question entirely.) The “rules” can be a bit tricky to figure out, but I think that my reading of them was correct. I welcome clarification.

For two practicing Catholics celebrating their wedding at a Nuptial Mass is special indeed, and I would hate to give that up. Additionally, many churches could not accommodate the usual parishioners plus several hundred wedding guests.

I still think $2000 for a registered, contributing parishioner is high.

 

[Sarabande]

. Additionally, many churches could not accommodate the usual parishioners plus several hundred wedding guests.

That’s a good point. There wouldn’t be any room for the normal congregation for many churches. With my family and my husband’s family alone all of which we are very close to (My mother is one of 10, my father one of 6, hubby’s mother one of 6, his father one of 2 - almost all of which had lots of kids and kids of their own) without friends that came out to be almost 200 - we had 166 with a few friends total as not all could make it since some live abroad. Some churches only accomodate that many, although my parish is a cathedral so it could have easily accomodated more if we even knew at the time there could be weddings during regular masses. (Most couples don’t know that, as we didn’t and we are very involved.) Also, if you go on parish websites, they never give the option of having the wedding ceremony take place during the regular mass. Although that doesn’t mean a person can’t ask, especially if they are having a small wedding with not many family and close friends.

 

[puzzleannie]

I
I still think $2000 for a registered, contributing parishioner is high.

in none of this discussion has anyone since the first few posters, answered the critical question, what is the actual cost to the parish when the church facility is in use for a wedding or any other purpose for 2-3 hours or whatever time period it takes? as stated so often it is becoming boring, the charge in our parish, pays only a fraction of the true cost, so the parish does subsidize funerals weddings and quinceneras because the pastor is not willing to charge more for an event that is not a sacrament.

 

[anamchara]

We always charged in the Protestant Church this is common practice as far as I know. A good friend of mine was the wedding coordinator. I learned a great deal about what goes into getting ready for the wedding and the day of.

 

[anamchara]

I still think $2000 for a registered, contributing parishioner is high.

I think it depends on the size of the parish. I pretty sure our big cathedral down town is probably much more than our local parish. Just a thought

 

[Sarabande]

I think it depends on the size of the parish. I pretty sure our big cathedral down town is probably much more than our local parish. Just a thought

I answered this in my first post in answer to the original post. For our cathedral, which is my parish, it literally costs a few thousand dollars just for a couple hours to light, heat/cool, pay for cleanup, etc. It’s a small parish and what it brings in tithes barely covers anything, so they have to charge the x amount of money (which is up there) in order to cover the costs.

 

[dixieagle]

in none of this discussion has anyone since the first few posters, answered the critical question, what is the actual cost to the parish when the church facility is in use for a wedding or any other purpose for 2-3 hours or whatever time period it takes? as stated so often it is becoming boring, the charge in our parish, pays only a fraction of the true cost, so the parish does subsidize funerals weddings and quinceneras because the pastor is not willing to charge more for an event that is not a sacrament.

It is an interesting question, for sure! I have a hard time believing that $2000 in lighting and air conditioning/heating is used in the 2-3 hours that most weddings (including rehearsals) take up. I believe the OP mentioned that the musicians, etc., were on top of this, so I am assuming a cost for opening the church, heating, cooling, lighting and clean-up.

Mind you, I have no problem with reasonable and justifiable charges, particularly given what is often spent on the rest of the wedding, but with charging a regular parishioner as much as an “outsider” using the church for ambience.

 

[Sarabande]

It is an interesting question, for sure! I have a hard time believing that $2000 in lighting and air conditioning/heating is used in the 2-3 hours that most weddings (including rehearsals) take up. I believe the OP mentioned that the musicians, etc., were on top of this, so I am assuming a cost for opening the church, heating, cooling, lighting and clean-up.
.

I can tell you that the heating/cooling bill and the lighting bill of the cathedral a few years ago was $1500 just for a few hours use on a Saturday.

 

[dixieagle]

I can tell you that the heating/cooling bill and the lighting bill of the cathedral a few years ago was $1500 just for a few hours use on a Saturday.

I imagine a large cathedral would certainly cost more in some instances. Our big, beautiful cathedral charges $1100, but that includes a wedding coordinator and wonderful organist.

 

[sacredcello]

It is an interesting question, for sure! I have a hard time believing that $2000 in lighting and air conditioning/heating is used in the 2-3 hours that most weddings (including rehearsals) take up. I believe the OP mentioned that the musicians, etc., were on top of this, so I am assuming a cost for opening the church, heating, cooling, lighting and clean-up.

Mind you, I have no problem with reasonable and justifiable charges, particularly given what is often spent on the rest of the wedding, but with charging a regular parishioner as much as an “outsider” using the church for ambience.

It is $2,000 for parishioners, but $3,000 for non-parishioners at my church. We’re looking into having our wedding at the 4:00 Saturday parish vigil.

I understand that costs are high, though we live in such a temperate climate where it is typically 70 degrees on any given day in both summer and winter that I don’t know that there is much in the way of heating/cooling. It is a large building, though, so the lighting is probably expensive. They also recently installed an elaborate alarm system which has to be turned on/off.

 

[dixieagle]

It is $2,000 for parishioners, but $3,000 for non-parishioners at my church. We’re looking into having our wedding at the 4:00 Saturday parish vigil.

I understand that costs are high, though we live in such a temperate climate where it is typically 70 degrees on any given day in both summer and winter that I don’t know that there is much in the way of heating/cooling. It is a large building, though, so the lighting is probably expensive. They also recently installed an elaborate alarm system which has to be turned on/off.

That’s right - I remember now that you said it was more expensive for non-parishioners.

Will there be enough room for the usual parishioners and your wedding guests at the vigil Mass? Very practical and interesting approach; you’re much more open-minded that most women with regard to their weddings!!! I wish you all the best.

 

[sacredcello]

That’s right - I remember now that you said it was more expensive for non-parishioners.

Will there be enough room for the usual parishioners and your wedding guests at the vigil Mass? Very practical and interesting approach; you’re much more open-minded that most women with regard to their weddings!!! I wish you all the best.

You are so kind. Thank you. I’m a little older than most brides (37) and FH is 46, so perhaps we see the bigger picture more clearly than 20-something year olds. I would much rather spend the money on our children’s education (God-willing!).

We probably will limit the number of invitations, so that we don’t intrude too much on the parish Mass. This is assuming they allow us to get married this way.

 

[dixieagle]

You are so kind. Thank you. I’m a little older than most brides (37) and FH is 46, so perhaps we see the bigger picture more clearly than 20-something year olds. I would much rather spend the money on our children’s education (God-willing!).

We probably will limit the number of invitations, so that we don’t intrude too much on the parish Mass. This is assuming they allow us to get married this way.

Please keep us posted as to what the parish allows; I imagine many of us are interested to hear.

God bless!