Why do Catholic leave the Church?

[Dan_Defender]

This is around the time that atheism gains traction and the society goes into decline.

I agree. Atheism should always be opposed.

 

[Boomster1]

I agree wholeheartedly as well.

Probably the best way we can oppose Atheism and disenchantment within the Church is for us to live exemplary lives as Christians. We should stand out from the rest. People should want to know why we live our lives in the manner we do.

People should see the example of Christ lived out in our day-to-day life.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: most people leave the Church because they don’t like being told what to do and want to freely engage in or support behaviors the Church says are sinful.

There’s probably a small handful who leave the Church becaue scripture or “seeking” etc but they’re in the minority…most people just drift away into sin territory.

 

[Jbrady]

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: most people leave the Church because they don’t like being told what to do and want to freely engage in or support behaviors the Church says are sinful.

I think that your putting the wrong spin on that, and presuming malice where generally none exists.

The takeaway message is that more and more people, especially younger people, are firmly convinced that organized religions, Catholicism, Christianity or otherwise, can serve no useful purpose in their lives, temporal or spiritual, and have little desire to associate with them anymore.

And I firmly believe that the bulk of the damage to the prestige and public reception of institutional religions was inflicted by the religions and their followers themselves, rather than outside forces.

Trying to lay the blame on those who leave or on outside forces only prevents us from correcting our own faults.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

It has nothing to do with “laying blame”. I’m simply saying what I see. I was away from the Church myself for years because I got tired of having to attend Sunday Mass and worry about sexual sins. Most people I know who have drifted away from the Church have the same mindset. They don’t object to the idea of a God, or praying, etc., they just think the rules are kind of antiquated and silly. Throw in the teachings about gays, abortion and birth control and add a dash of the Church sex scandals and they use that to justify their drifting off.

I don’t see any point in trying to tiptoe around the issue when I have friends who will tell me straight out that they used to be an altar boy and everything but then decided they liked (Insert some lewd activity) better. Some of them in the next breath will ask me to pray for them or lament that maybe the past eras when people lived more moral lives were better.

 

[Jbrady]

I don’t see any point in trying to tiptoe around the issue when I have friends who will tell me straight out that they used to be an altar boy and everything but then decided they liked (Insert some lewd activity) better.

I’ve had plenty of friends and acquaintances leave the Church. None of them every said anything remotely resembling that they preferred any “lewd activity” instead. And as far as anyone pining for some mythical Golden Age when people lived more moral lives, the only place I’ve ever encountered that has been internet forums. In real life, I know nobody, of any faith or lack thereof, who is seriously would want to return to “the good old days”.

We must move in very different circles.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

We must move in very different circles.

Wouldn’t surprise me. I always get the impression that most of this forum, with the occasional exception here and there, has lived a fairly sheltered life.

 

[JanR]

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: most people leave the Church because they don’t like being told what to do and want to freely engage in or support behaviors the Church says are sinful.

There’s probably a small handful who leave the Church becaue scripture or “seeking” etc but they’re in the minority…most people just drift away into sin territory.

I’m afraid you’re right.

 

[umamibella]

Aggressive secularism. The enemy of the Christian, be that Christian Catholic or Protestant, is modern aggressive secularism.

 

[PeterT]

I had left because my parents stopped bringing me to mass by age 12 and I was poorly catechized and really knew nothing about the faith. Once you learn that this is Christ’s Church, I don’t know how anyone can leave with a clear conscience. I know I never could.

I agree. I think when all is said and done, this is the main reason: poor faith formation and catechesis.

Simply put: how could anyone who truly believes that the Holy Eucharist contains the body and blood, soul and divinity of Christ leave the Catholic Church (except for the possibility of switching to an Orthodox or Eastern Rite church)?

It should be clear that those who leave the Catholic Church either a) never believed that the Holy Eucharist is the Body of Christ or 2) no longer believe that the Holy Eucharist is the Body of Christ.

Because for those who believe that the Holy Eucharist is the Body of Christ, the only reasonable alternative to the Catholic Church is an Eastern Rite or a Eastern Orthodox Church, churches that share the same belief in regards to the nature of the Holy Eucharist with the Catholic Church.

 

[Tolle_Lege]

The reddit group “ex Catholics” gives first-hand accounts of many people who have left the Church. I would not recommend visiting the site, though.

From my reading through hundreds of posts in that group, a great number of them disagree with the Church’s teachings on abortion, same-sex relations, contraception, the role of women, etc. Scientism also plays a large role in many leaving, i.e. no “proof” of God that would satisfy them. There are not many on there who gradually lost interest. However, the members of the subreddit are largely not just ex-Catholics, but are now angrily anti-Catholic, so feel the need to continue ranting about the Church, even though they supposedly don’t care about it anymore.

Like most ex-Christians or agnostics, many of them make the sweeping claim that they know the faith and the Bible better than Catholics, that they are now more kind and less “judgmental” than when they were Catholics, etc. Their use of vulgarities and constantly making fun of Catholics and the Church puts those claims into question.

Ultimately, most leave because they could not accept certain teachings, so rejected them and left.

But in defense of many of them, a bad experience in the Church, or the actions of other Catholics led them out.

Hypocrisy is one of the biggest enemies of evangelization.

 

[christofirst]

My adult son is now away from the Church, and so I’ve wondered about this a lot. He went to Catholic school for 12 years, like I did, and we regularly attended Mass together until he was out of high school. For a long time, I knew he went to Mass only out of obedience and respect for me.

He later told me that around junior high he started having doubts about the existence of God as the Church teaches, but he didn’t want to upset me, since he knew the importance I placed on faith in my life. He was very interested in physics, and many of the authors he read were skeptics and nonbelievers. Online, he found a community of like minded people; intelligent, witty atheists and agnostics.

I could say, from my observation, that he didn’t like the rules of the Church and so he found a reason to stop believing. That may or may not be the case. He says he stopped believing first, and as a result he no longer had to follow rules that made no sense to him. He does not disparage believers now, unless their actions obviously betray their faith and publicly reveal them as unrepentant hypocrites.

And so I ask, why did the faith take root in me but not in my son? I don’t always like obeying the rules of the Church myself. Why am I able to overcome resistance and overlook obstacles to faith, while my son refuses or is unable? I’ve heard people say it is our culture, or apathy, or pride, or even the devil that keeps him from believing. But then why am I not also drawn away by these things? Am I somehow more inclined to believe than he is?

 

[christofirst]

I do understand my son’s difficulties. I know one of the obstacles my son experiences with Christianity in general and Catholicism in particular is the problem of evil, and what seems to him to be a cold-hearted theodicy which always excuses our loving, caring God when it comes to suffering. I’m not entirely satisfied with the teaching of the Church in this regard either, why it has to be the way it we’re taught it is, but for some reason I can look at this and say, I don’t make the explanations and the rules, I just have to accept and follow them. I’m not the Creator, I’m just the creature. He apparently cannot make such a leap. We have good books like The Problem of Pain, but if Lewis and those who build on his explanation were so absolutely convincing, I suppose everyone who doubted for this reason would be Christian.

 

[HollyDolly]

I don’t get to mass much, because I work two jobs, so it’s hard. My parents remained catholics till the day they died, but weren’t ones for going to church , unless it was weddings, funerals, first communion or my confirmation. Don’t know why both parents went to catholic school.And my dad not only went to St.John’s School in Hot Springs, but served as an altar boy at the parish his grandparents helped found. One of the reasons he wasn’t big on the Church, was because of things he saw and experienced during WW2. We visited his aunt, my great aunt Sister Generose SSND and family in Milwaukee. Don’t recall how the subject of suffering came up. But he told his aunt that when he was in Italy during the war, he saw this poor italian woman, screaming and crying, carrying her dead child in her arms, and half the child’s head was blown away.He came out said it was that scene that made him question the church’s teachings, because what sins could the child’s parents or grandparents have commited that would warrant a horrible death like that for a child.Don’t forget in the bible , think Old Testament that says the sins of the father being visited on the son and he couldn’t accept this… Did he come back to the Church when he was very ill, yes. Momma too, though they ever left it.When i was taking confirmation classes, my mom asked what we discussed. I mentioned to her the priest talked about Our Lady as the holy Comforter. My mom looked at me and said really forcefully, THE HOLY SPIRIT IS THE HOLY COMFORTER> And I said OH! Looked this up many years later, and she was right. They may not have been to mass, but they knew their faith.
Christofirst, your son shouldn’t feel bad, the problem of evil and a loving God has always bothered people. The Cathars, though considered heretics by the Church, believed that Satan made the material world.he mad human bodies and imprisoned bits of light,ie the soul made by the Good God within them.That it was our job to reunite with the Good lord and be free of the material world and body. They were dualists, who I think tried to explain in their beliefs some of things of life.They rejected the Old Testament and revered the New Testament, especially th eGospel of John. Hard to put into words what I mean. We will know the answers hen we pass on and are finally enlighten on these matters.

 

[Genesis315]

And so I ask, why did the faith take root in me but not in my son? I don’t always like obeying the rules of the Church myself. Why am I able to overcome resistance and overlook obstacles to faith, while my son refuses or is unable? I’ve heard people say it is our culture, or apathy, or pride, or even the devil that keeps him from believing. But then why am I not also drawn away by these things? Am I somehow more inclined to believe than he is?

God gives all of us the helps necessary, but not necessarily all at the same. As last weeks Gospel noted, God calls people into the vineyard at different times. If it isn’t related to an obstinate impenitence for some deliberate sin, then your son will find what he’s seeking, even if at the “eleventh hour”, to quote the Gospel. Sometimes God permits an evil to bring about a greater good. I know plenty of amazing Catholics who drifted away in atheism and vice for a while before returning, and having gone through that ultimately made them better Catholics when they returned (plenty of Saints fit this pattern too). Keep praying for him and for God to give Him what He needs to be saved and God will give it when the time is best. When He does, the upbringing his father gave him will no doubt be an important element.

 

[HollyDolly]

Oh it’s possible that is the case, or not.I know God exists since all you have to do is look at Mother Nature. All the variety of animals, bugs, and other plants and creatures. When you see a butterfly, the wing design, the colors, this was not the result of the Big Bang theory by any means.This was intelligent design no doubt in my mind. You can find priests and monks in the history of the Church who were scientists. Their discoveries, like Gregor Mendel and his experiment in genetics with pea plants for example was certainly scientific, but i hardly think it shook his faith in God.
To have doubts is nothing new.I believe St.John of the Cross called it the Dark Night of the Soul. Heck, even our pagan ancestors before they became christians probably had doubts about how effective their own gods were. Give him a chance, pray to St.Rita and St.Jude and Our Blessed Mother that he will see the light.

 

[Anesti33]

I think there is a spectrum of reasons, and if you ask ten people why they left, you will hear ten completely different answers.

But here’s one common reason: seduced by the world. People are lured away from the sacred by the profane, whether it be video games, or carnal pleasure, or organized soccer leagues for the kids, or unbelieving family members, something in the world takes preference over Sunday worship or faithful practice of the faith.

And that worldly thing can seem quite innocuous and inoffensive at first. It might not be every Sunday I sacrifice to the God of Xbox, but sooner or later I’m missing Mass on a regular basis, and the devil whispers in my ear that maybe I don’t even care that much. My new worldly friends are irreligious, and it doesn’t seem to bother them, so why do I cling to all this weird God stuff? I’m better off without it.

 

[Shakuhachi]

But here’s one common reason: seduced by the world.

I think also just busy with life. Faith is not a priority.

 

[Bernoulli]

I know God exists since all you have to do is look at Mother Nature. All the variety of animals, bugs, and other plants and creatures.

Unfortunately, nature we actually observe is damaged by the fall. There is violence and exploitation that don’t correspond to God’s goodness. In order to understand the state of nature as a reflection of God, one would need the concept of the original sin.

 

[PeterT]

My adult son is now away from the Church, and so I’ve wondered about this a lot. He went to Catholic school for 12 years, like I did, and we regularly attended Mass together until he was out of high school. For a long time, I knew he went to Mass only out of obedience and respect for me.

He later told me that around junior high he started having doubts about the existence of God as the Church teaches, but he didn’t want to upset me, since he knew the importance I placed on faith in my life. He was very interested in physics, and many of the authors he read were skeptics and nonbelievers. Online, he found a community of like minded people; intelligent, witty atheists and agnostics.

A book I would strongly recommend for anyone who has trouble reconciling their faith (or lack of faith) in God with science is this one: Faith, Science, and Reason – Theology on the Cutting Edge, 2nd Edition by Dr. Chris Baglow.

https://www.theologicalforum.org/Category/117/Product/597/Faith_Science_and_Reason_2nd_Edition

In the book, Dr. Baglow explains in detail how Christian faith and science is intertwined and how one compliments the other. That there is no real conflict between true science and our Catholic faith.

It’s a book you should encourage your son to read.