Why Do Catholics Leave the Church?

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Elvisman and anon5216, please pipe down.

I’d love to jump in to your battle, but it is off topic. Start another thread, and I’ll jump in happily - but please let this thread return to reasons for leaving the Church.

There is so much to cover… and I’m more ADD than usual today. I’ll try to make a quick summary, but I’ll probably miss a LOT of things.

I think, generally, most of it comes from poor catechesis, in three places.
  1. In the home:
    Lukewarmness. Going to Mass because we always have. Not making conscious choices, but drifting along with current culture, not realizing we are inhaling moral relativism with every breath. Losing track of what the Church teaches, and why she teaches it. Stuffing discomfort away where it won’t bother us. Having neither the sense of the wonder at immensity and mystery of the faith, nor the sense of being firmly anchored to Christ.
  2. in R.E. classes:
    Not challenging the students. Teachers who disagree with Church teachings. Teachers who are faithful, but lay down the law instead of engaging the students’ minds and hearts. Having to deal with students who have no foundation in the Faith - which their parents should have given them.
  3. In homilies:
    Talking about how much Jesus loves us and wants us to be with Him in Heaven, and that separating ourselves from Him is a very sad thing - but not talking about “Hell, and how to get there.” Avoiding discussions of specific sins. Keeping everything happy and upbeat. Being more afraid of losing friends than of losing souls.
But these things are all inter-related, and can’t be separated from each other.

Poor catechesis leaves us with no foundation to stand on when times get rough. Vague teachers are not the people we run to with our deep spiritual troubles. And the people we do trust with our wounds may have all the wrong answers.

If we’re looking for spirituality, the New Age folks seem to have plenty. If we’re looking for certainty, the Evangelicals have plenty to offer. If we’re looking for reasoning power, the Darwinists and some of the atheists have that aplenty. If we’re looking for control over our lives, the Scientologists and EST-type outfits offer us that. If we’re looking for joy, “If it feels good, do it!”

The Church has all those things and more. But we have to do more than just say so - we have to prove it.

Sacred Heart of Jesus, fount of life and holiness, have mercy on us.

Ruthie
 
Because they can.
a) don’t believe in the Church
b) found another religion that feels like the truth to them.
c) something about the Church feels immoral to them.
 
Ruthie said:
Elvisman and anon5216, please pipe down.

I’d love to jump in to your battle, but it is off topic. Start another thread, and I’ll jump in happily - but please let this thread return to reasons for leaving the Church.

There is so much to cover… and I’m more ADD than usual today. I’ll try to make a quick summary, but I’ll probably miss a LOT of things.

I think, generally, most of it comes from poor catechesis, in three places.
  1. In the home:
    Lukewarmness. Going to Mass because we always have. Not making conscious choices, but drifting along with current culture, not realizing we are inhaling moral relativism with every breath. Losing track of what the Church teaches, and why she teaches it. Stuffing discomfort away where it won’t bother us. Having neither the sense of the wonder at immensity and mystery of the faith, nor the sense of being firmly anchored to Christ.
  2. in R.E. classes:
    Not challenging the students. Teachers who disagree with Church teachings. Teachers who are faithful, but lay down the law instead of engaging the students’ minds and hearts. Having to deal with students who have no foundation in the Faith - which their parents should have given them.
  3. In homilies:
    Talking about how much Jesus loves us and wants us to be with Him in Heaven, and that separating ourselves from Him is a very sad thing - but not talking about “Hell, and how to get there.” Avoiding discussions of specific sins. Keeping everything happy and upbeat. Being more afraid of losing friends than of losing souls.
But these things are all inter-related, and can’t be separated from each other.

Poor catechesis leaves us with no foundation to stand on when times get rough. Vague teachers are not the people we run to with our deep spiritual troubles. And the people we do trust with our wounds may have all the wrong answers.

If we’re looking for spirituality, the New Age folks seem to have plenty. If we’re looking for certainty, the Evangelicals have plenty to offer. If we’re looking for reasoning power, the Darwinists and some of the atheists have that aplenty. If we’re looking for control over our lives, the Scientologists and EST-type outfits offer us that. If we’re looking for joy, “If it feels good, do it!”

The Church has all those things and more. But we have to do more than just say so - we have to prove it.

Sacred Heart of Jesus, fount of life and holiness, have mercy on us.

Ruthie
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piping done.

Regarding poor catechesis: consider also the possibility of much better catechesis coming from other sources and spiritual traditions.
(Regardless of how good the implementation is in one instance, there is still the possibility of a much better catechesis coming from some other tradition).
Although the word is typically used in connection with the CC (or at least Christianity in general), it has been used in connection with non-Christian spiritual systems and even entirely non-religious contexts as well.

There is also the issue of information transfer, (no matter how efficiently and completely done), simply not being enough.
As you said: “you have to do more than just say so - you have to prove it.”
This proof is not just a verbal or written debate, you have to demonstrate with your life as people like Padre Pio did.

Someone here has a great quote of Francis of Assisi in their signature: “Preach always, and when necessary use words.”*

(Kind of hard to do in a text only discussion, but at least it can be hinted at …)
 
Question: Are the ones that posted guessing why people leave the church or have they actually left the Catholic church and came back? 🤷

BacalzoLDS
 
bacalzoLDS said:
Question: Are the ones that posted guessing why people leave the church or have they actually left the Catholic church and came back? 🤷

BacalzoLDS
Click to expand...
Perhaps you should read this thread and all the snarkiness about former LDS before you make smartalec comments about posters here. I’ve read lots of stuff from LDS deriding those who left the LDS church on MADD, FLAK and NOM, you all don’t have the high road in this. The stories on NOM are particularly moving, people who just want to be left alone are harangued, castigated and stalked by a church that won’t leave them be.
 
Why They Leave
the Church
Rev. Arthur Tonne. 1951.
pjpiisoe.org/pamphlets/140US.pdf

1. Proud people leave the Church. They are too proud to bend their wills to the authority of God’s Church, too proud to accept the suggestions and corrections of their spiritual shepherds. Once they have left the Church they are too proud to come back.

2. Ignorance causes people to leave the Church, ignorance of the true teachings of the true fold, ignorance of the means needed to stay in the grace and friendship of God. Take stock, everyone of you. You must continue to learn about your religion, even after you have finished the catechism or have made your first Holy Communion. In general, Catholics who stray from the sheepfold do not know the simplest truths of their faith.

3. Another certain cause of leakage is carelessness in attending Sunday Mass. The surest and quickest way to lose your faith is to miss Sunday Mass through your own fault. And the closest step to missing Mass is regularly coming late to the Holy Sacrifice.

4. Materialism makes many leave the Church. They want money, fine clothes, the best cars, social position, the things of this world. They cannot see the value or even the meaning of the spiritual.

5. Mixed marriages drag many out of the fold. Statistics prove that. Beware of them.

6. Bad marriages are another cause, a big one today, with so many divorced people running around. Find out as soon as you begin to get serious about anyone, whether he or she was married before. Your eternal salvation depends upon it.

7. Indifferentism causes many to fall away.They repeat the senseless, unreasonable and illogical sentence: “One religion is just as good as any other.” Logic proves that false. Each religion teaches something different. All can’t be right. This shallow idea that it does not make any difference what you believe, has led some to leave the Church. Ours is not the easiest religion to live. These lost sheep choose an easier one. Generally the Catholic who falls away does not join any other church. He goes to no church.

8. Still another reason for lost sheep is bad company.

Why They Leave
the Church
Rev. Arthur Tonne. 1951.
pjpiisoe.org/pamphlets/140US.pdf
 
fellowChristian said:
Why They Leave
the Church
Rev. Arthur Tonne. 1951.
pjpiisoe.org/pamphlets/140US.pdf
…
Click to expand...
These are all plausible reasons for people of shallow spirituality to leave the Church.
Without deepening their spirituality tremendously, I really doubt remaining in the Church would have gotten them any eternal reward anyway.
You may well disagree, but I don’t see mere membership in any church of any religion - including the CC - guaranteeing anyone anything.
Regardless of their intent, the earlier posting asking how many people posting here had left the Church and returned does have some merit.
If you left the Church and later returned, then your statements of why you left in the 1st place are not hypothetical - they are specific factual instances (assuming you’re being honest abut those reasons).
I would think that such a person’s comments would be far more interesting in this discussion than hypothetical ‘marketing research’ type things.
 
:rolleyes:I guess I hit a nerve?

well ok, I have to say I fall in to numbers 1, 2, 3, 7 and 8. As a matter of fact.

So are you saying that you don’t fall in to any of them? whatever

dude I was just answering the question with a more educated person’s words.
wow some people have issues.🙂
 
fellowChristian said:
:rolleyes:I guess I hit a nerve?

well ok, I have to say I fall in to numbers 1, 2, 3, 7 and 8. As a matter of fact.

So are you saying that you don’t fall in to any of them? whatever

dude I was just answering the question with a more educated person’s words.
wow some people have issues.🙂
Click to expand...
Actually, I gave my personal reasons for leaving in post #62 (and to some extent in post #83).

I didn’t say those reasons you listed by Arthur Tonne were invalid,
just that they don’t cover those people who do have a strong spirituality.

Tonne’s list probably covers at least 90% of the cases.
 
In the Sign of the Cross, we profess the deepest mysteries of the Christian Faith: the Trinity–Father, Son, and Holy Spirit–and the saving work of Christ on the Cross. The combination of the words and the action are a creed–a statement of belief. We mark ourselves as Christians through the Sign of the Cross.

And yet, because we make the Sign of the Cross so often, we may be tempted to rush through it, to say the words without listening to them, to ignore the symbolism of tracing the shape of the Cross on our own bodies. A creed is not simply a statement of belief–it is a vow to defend that belief, even if it means following Our Lord and Savior to our own cross.

One further note about the reader’s question: Roman Catholics aren’t the only Christians to make the Sign of the Cross. All Eastern Catholics and Eastern Orthodox do as well, along with many high-church Anglicans and Lutherans (and a smattering of other Mainline Protestants). Because it is a creed that all Christians can assent to, it shouldn’t be thought of as just “a Catholic thing.”

If you have a question that you would like to have featured in our Friday “Reader Questions” series, send me an e-mail at catholicism.guide@about.com. Be sure to put “QUESTION” in the subject line, and please note whether you’d like me to address it privately or on the Catholicism blog.​

sportsbooks
Mauritius Holiday Packages
 
  1. apathy when confronted with suffering (people frying forever is seen as acceptable punishment)
  2. arrogance (belief that all of one’s prayers are heard, circumstances are known, and that one is a prized creation of an infinite being)
  3. dependence on others in the search for truth (Why should I believe an authority figure is infallible? If I haven’t been inspired by God, why should I believe that another is influenced by him?)
Let the flaming begin!
 
Ignorance - People don’t know their stuff. People must educate themselves, or be educated.
Apathy - People don’t care. People must care and appreciate.
Arrogance - People make themselves God. People must learn humility, that they are not their own ultimate masters.
 
Related to apathy is Laziness. In their heart of hearts, I believe agnostics and worse are just lazy, apathetic, and prideful.
 
Pons said:
Related to apathy is Laziness. In their heart of hearts, I believe agnostics and worse are just lazy, apathetic, and prideful.
Click to expand...
I refuse to worship a deity that permits the suffering of billions of people and creates a system wherein they can supposedly damn themselves and I’m apathetic?

I refuse to believe my emotions allow me to intuit that an infinite being exists that actually cares what I think and do, has given me a destiny, and wants to invite me to his kingdom so he can love me in person and I’m prideful?

I actively question a wide range of doctrines, deduce what my peers desire in life, and wish to fight oppressive authority figures so that they may have the freedom to pursue their own happiness and I’m lazy?

You are gravely mistaken, my presumptuous friend. :tsktsk:
 
  1. loss of life close to you
  2. Part-time catholic for a while then finnally drop it all together
  3. Wanting to be a mason.
 
I have not read the whole thread so if someone has already said this, I apologize. Someone in my “Why Catholic” group answered very succinctly, I think. He said “so they live as they please.” I think that says it all.
 

  1. *]The feeling of rejection by the Church and her adherents.
    *]The inability to conform to all the rules which brings about despair because it’s just impossible to keep up with.
    *]The lack of a social connection among the Catholic Church goers.
 
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