Let me take a crack at your question from the perspective of a religious who is in a community where everyone wears the same habit and everyone is called Brother except the superior who is always Father. We’re not the only community like this. So are the Cistercians and several Franciscan communities. In our case it’s interesting, because the superior is not a priest, but he has three of them under him and they may never be called Father, nor do they wear distinctive clothing. Everyone wears the habit. You can see our brother-priests when they celebrate mass or the other sacraments, then they disappear back into the crowd of brothers and become anonymous. However, that does not mean that we have less respect for them or less love for them.
The way that we look at our brother-priests is as a brother who is called by God to serve his people through priestly ministry. That ministry is sacred, because it was instituted by Christ, not by man.
One would ask, why keep them anonymous?
Because the entire Franciscan and Benedictine families realized that a great injustice had been done to our religious communities after Vatican I. The the Church started to treat our ordained members as if they were diocesan priests and our non-ordained brothers as if they were servants. This was not the vision of the founders. Their vision was a brotherhood of equals headed by a Father who nurtures, protects and governs the community.
It is important to understand than being equal does not define identity. We are equal. We have the same rights and the same duites. But there is more to us than rights and duties, there is a place in God’s plan. That place gives us our identity. For some men, their place is the priesthood and for others is the care of the poor, teaching, preaching, etc.
Identity embraces the whole person, his state in life and his place in God’s plan of salvation. We don’t respect our brother-priests more than we respect our brother-cook. They are equal in dignity, rights and duties as consecrated men. They deserve equal respect, because each has an identity that has been given to him by God. All of God’s gifts are precious. We certainly respect the sacredness of the priesthood. But we don’t need to look different to do that.
In our case, most of the time the layman thinks his talking to a priest, because he sees a habit or a Roman Collar or at the other extreme, he thinks he’s talking to monk of some kind, because everyone is wearing the same habit and cowl. But it’s not necessary to distinguish ourselves either by dress or by title until the appropriate moment, that would be the celebration of the sacraments.
Fraternally,
Br. JR, OSF