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rcwitness
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Yeah, maybe you better just leave it.
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Lou2U
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I’m sure a Bishop would understand why the parents would be concerned. But he would be able to recognise that the OP’s daughter and her fiance are both adults and are entitled to act independently and make their own decisions. The (hypothetical) parents really shouldn’t put pressure on the Bishop to make his actions any different, and the Bishop shouldn’t be swayed by them.
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rcwitness
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The Bishop should be concerned about the marriage, and whether it should happen in the Church and be called valid. The relationship of the couple with the parents is not irrelavant. What if the parent has important information? If the parents witness their daughters faith being compromised since a relationship with the non Christian bf began, its legitimate concern for the Bishop. The Bishop should be concerned that the non Christian does not impair, prevent, or discourage the Christian from living her faith.
If the daughter is so independent, maybe she should pay her own tuition (though I dont think that should be done by the father). This mentality that being old enough to Marry is all sufficient for a responsible choice is not very realistic. We have annulments all the time, and now that some of us, like this father, express concerns, those same people who support all sorts of annulment decisions criticize us for seeing red flags!
And remember, we dont even know that this couple cares about the Bishop’s permission at all.
If the daughter is so independent, maybe she should pay her own tuition (though I dont think that should be done by the father). This mentality that being old enough to Marry is all sufficient for a responsible choice is not very realistic. We have annulments all the time, and now that some of us, like this father, express concerns, those same people who support all sorts of annulment decisions criticize us for seeing red flags!
And remember, we dont even know that this couple cares about the Bishop’s permission at all.
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angel12
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Actually, SOME of those sympathizing with the OP are being criticized for making a while bunch of assumptions when we know NOTHING about the daughter’s side of this, and very little about the fiance.
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rcwitness
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And the father either.rcwitness:
Actually, SOME of those sympathizing with the OP are being criticized for making a while bunch of assumptions when we know NOTHING about the daughter’s side of this, and very little about the fiance.
But hopefully, they are making some positive ground and communicating better.
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Start
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It’s a possibility and there’s nothing wrong with being cautious.
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rcwitness
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The Church’s relationship with Muslims is not Sacramental.
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rcwitness
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A little info for the OP:
www.catholic.com
May Catholics Ever Marry Non-Christians?
The Catholic Church calls this situation “disparity of cult,” and there are circumstances in which such a marriage may be allowed. Here is what the...
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QwertyGirl
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I financially supported my adult daughter when she was in college. I gave her a place to live and helped her with her schooling expenses. I viewed it as a no-strings-attached gift to someone I loved with my heart. Did she make some decisions during those years that I didn’t agree with? She sure did. But that was part of being a19 -23 year old.
I would only withdraw financial gifting in this regard if I was paying for a benefit she wasn’t using (for example I was paying tuition and she wasn’t going to school). By the time she was that age, I wasn’t giving her cash. She worked while she was going to school and had her own for necessities.
Personally, I believe the advice to cut her off financiallly is really erroneous. Re-think what financial support is to an adult child. You can’t buy your adult child’s loyalty or soul, but you can create a lot of damage if you try.
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QwertyGirl
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It is possible she doesn’t subscribe to the Catholic faith and isn’t intending to have a Catholic marriage. Perhaps this is what dad is so upset about. If this is the case, he need not perceive that as disrespect. If he does, it may be why the daughter doesn’t really want him around her fiance. Could be that dad is misbehaving badly.
These situations are usually much more complicatd than a post can indicate. Years of situational relationship issues are always present, and we don’t have a clue what they are.
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QwertyGirl
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Boundaries, RC. Boundaries.
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Roseeurekacross
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If financial support is withdrawn she may drop out and ruin any future chance of independence . And that could become crucial.
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rcwitness
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These two statements contradict each other. You are all over the place with your “what if’s”.
If she doesn’t intend to respect the Catholic faith, then every Catholic here should agree she should not attempt to Marry this man! It would be an invalid Marriage, and a neglect of Jesus during a most important decision (not unlike her neglect of her caring father).
The OP has related that she use to have strong faith. If she doesn’t “subscribe” to the faith anymore, she should discuss this with her father too. And he would know that it’s a poor choice to attempt Marriage.
I understand the father’s hurt, and confusion. He is being neglected. That is a strong sign of an immature decision to be engaged. Yes, he must dig deep and pray for strength to treat her with a holy love! But this is where we all fail to live up to the perfect love of Christ!
Please, Lord Jesus, help this father and his daughter to reconcile and give her your Spirit of understanding. Amen
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QwertyGirl
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Every Catholic here isn’t making that decision. This decision is only for two people, the daughter and her fiance.
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rcwitness
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It’s not a decision for Catholics, but a belief. The decision to Marry outside the faith is hers, if she chooses (which would be invalid in the faith). A decision to Marry according to the laws of the Church, if she chooses (which would be a valid Natural Marriage but not a Sacrament), is also the decision of the Bishop.
So if she chooses to observe and respect Jesus, it is not only her and this man’s decision to Marry.
So if she chooses to observe and respect Jesus, it is not only her and this man’s decision to Marry.
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TheLittleLady
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Where did I make this claim? Please, stop reading things that are not there.
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rcwitness
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Didn’t say you made that claim. I’m making a distinction regarding Church relations with the Muslim faith and something as intimate as Marriage. There is a difference.
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rcwitness
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@TheLittleLady
Since you liked post #79, can you explain how you would support a Catholic Marrying a non-Christian without a dispensation?
Since you liked post #79, can you explain how you would support a Catholic Marrying a non-Christian without a dispensation?
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TheLittleLady
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This is the statement of which I approved. That this decision is to be made by two people.
Not quite sure where in that statement it said anything about dispensations.
Also, the OP has not stated that his daughter plans to marry outside of the Church, so, I do not see where the question of marrying without dispensation is within the purview of this thread.
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TheLittleLady
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However, I responded to QGs statement alone.
Please, do not read more into responses than is there.
I agree that this is a decision to be made by the two people who are going to attempt marriage. They may consult with others, but, in the end it is their decision. They will be the people who will live with the consequences.
Please, do not read more into responses than is there.
I agree that this is a decision to be made by the two people who are going to attempt marriage. They may consult with others, but, in the end it is their decision. They will be the people who will live with the consequences.
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