Young daughter wants to marry a Muslim!

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TheLittleLady said:
I agree that this is a decision to be made by the two people who are going to attempt marriage. They may consult with others, but, in the end it is their decision. They will be the people who will live with the consequences.
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Not true. If they are to be Married in the Catholic Church, they need the decision of the Bishop in order to do so.

It’s not his decision to choose to Marry, but to permit the Marriage to occur validly. Without his dispensation, they cannot Marry. Because the law prohibits a Christian marrying a non Christian.

This means the Muslim man would need to afford much more in terms of the families faith practice (wife and children) to the Catholic faith than under Muslim faith. He would have to understand this and agree to it, and be Married according to Catholic ceremonial form. Furthermore, I believe any prior or post Muslim ceremonies are prohibited.
 
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The Bishop does not have to make an exception for Catholics wishing to Marry a non-Christian. The law says we cannot. Yet, under certain circumstances, a Bishop can dispense this law.

It is the Bishop’s discretion whether he sees the Marriage does not pose a threat to damaging the faith of the Christian.

An 18 year old Christian, and a 29 yr old Muslim would probably be difficult to receive permission from the Bishop.

But if the couple wishes to present their respect to the Church and for one another, they may have his approval.

This would most likely take quite a mature young 18 yr old girl to do! She would need to show that her faith is stable, strong, and will not be hindered by this man.
 
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rcwitness said:
Not true. If they are to be Married in the Catholic Church, they need the decision of the Bishop in order to do so.
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You are missing the part that it is the choice of the daughter and her fiance as to if they wish to marry in the Church or not. They may decide to just marry outside of the Church, if they don’t subscribe to the religion at all. They may seek permission from the Bishop. If the Bishop denies their request, then they may decide to marry outside of the Church. They actually have a lot of decisions only the two of them can make. I think this is what @theLittleLady was saying. She wasn’t advocating that they make a choice contrary to Church teaching. She was making the point that they have many choices, and they will have to endure the consequences of the choices they make.
 
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If they choose to reject the Church, and Marry some place else, then this father was absolutely right in his concern, frustration and disappointment
 
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Well your posts were seeming, to me, to imply that they don’t have that choice. It seemed like you were posting from the viewpoint that the only choice they have is to attempt to mary in the Church.
 
rcwitness said:
If they choose to reject the Church, and Marry some place else, then this father was absolutely right in his concern, frustration and disappointment
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That may be, but being right isn’t what will heal his broken relationship with his daughter. I think that is what his focus should be, since it really is the only thing he can control (his efforts in doing so).
 
QwertyGirl said:
Well your posts were seeming, to me, to imply that they don’t have that choice. It seemed like you were posting from the viewpoint that the only choice they have is to attempt to mary in the Church.
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If they do want to Marry in the Church, it’s up to the Bishop to permit that. The Church law says they cannot.

If they go someplace else, the Church says it’s not a valid Marriage.
 
We don’t know. Maybe the fiance plans to convert prior to the wedding. Then the biship wouldn’t be involved. OP doesn’t seem to have all the information, as of yet, or at least he didn’t include it in his post (if he does).
 
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Yes, I related all that in my first post. He has options too.

He should also instruct her about Church Teaching.
 
So if they want to get Married according to the Church, it’s not only their decision. They need to be humble and show that they are mature and respect the faith.
 
QwertyGirl said:
They may seek permission from the Bishop. If the Bishop denies their request, then they may decide to marry outside of the Church.
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That would only justify the Bishop’s decision.

She would be better off asking the Bishop if she could seek permission again, after she graduated.
 
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We have a lot of replies on the subject of dispensation of marriage…

Even if we don’t know the plan of the two, there are few chances that a muslin want to marry according to the Catholic Church’s request. Because it would mean that the children will be raised Christian.

I think the more probable is that they will marry according to the muslin tradition, if he is faithfull to his own religion, or have just a civil wedding on the contrary…
Which would invalidate all the debate here.

More, a Christian girl who want to marry a muslin is likely to be not very interest in her own faith.
 
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So I am going to leave off as saying that this father wants to love his daughter.

In my opinion, he would be wise to learn what the best approach would be to Marry in the Church, or encourage her to wait until she is able to Marry in the Lord.

The approach to seeking a dispensation would probably be to wait (in chastity) until she graduates school.

This way, she can spend more time learning if they are truly compatible.

I highly doubt a Bishop would allow her to Marry a Muslim at her age. I would think he would want to see great maturity, a very supportive Muslim man to honor the Christian faith, a respectful relationship with all parents, and that she is an active participant of the Church.
 
This would be better if the Op want to come again here to explain himself!
Otherwise all we say here is just another speculation and a vast of our time…

I don’t know how dispensation works, but in normal circonstances, a sacrament cannot be denied for a couple wishing to get married, even if the priest feel this union has all the chances to finish in divorce…Be married in the Church is a right, if the conditions are met.
So I think (speculate) that in dispensation, all the bishop can do is to verify if the catholic part will be able to parctice is faith freely, the children will likely be raised as catholic, the two are completely free to marry, don’t have any sort of pressure (such as a pregnancy), if the woman if enough mature to make such a decision. And perhaps how the extend family deal with that (in muslin culture it is unlinkely at all that the family will accept that grandchildren are being raised as christian). But I don’t think he can make a judment of value, such as a mandate wait…

For the age gap, and age of the daughter, again we don’t know how the op live. In some countries a 10 years gap is the norm (Cameroon for eg), and marry at 18 is also not uncommom. Interfaith marriage are not rare worldwide, even if in many cases they are a receipe for disaster…

I agree with with that marry a muslin is not a wise thing at 18. More the status of women and in marriage are not very favorable in muslin religion, a wife can be kicked of the house, or the husband take an other wife/concubine.

Unless the OP contradict thing, it is very unlikely that the fiancé seek conversion. If one of the two will convert it is more likely the girl. Because of her younger age, and because of the precedents.
 
A dispensation is an exception to the law, or removing a law for a particular situation. It’s actually not a right. The Bishop does not have to dispense the law. It’s in his discretion to do so, but not anyone’s right. This is why I was stressing that it’s not simply this couple’s choice.

The law says they cannot be Married. And even if they are allowed to be Married, it cannot be a Sacrament. I believe it would be a valid, Natural Marriage.
 
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Anicette said:
a sacrament cannot be denied for a couple wishing to get married,
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One thing to remember, marriage between a validly baptized Christian and a non-baptized person (Muslim, Jewish, Hindu, Latter Day Saint, Sikh, Atheist, Pagan, etc.) even when done with the proper Disparity of Cult dispensation from the Bishop, it is not Sacramental. In order to be Sacramental the marriage must be done between two validly baptized Christians (Catholic or another Christian group).

This is an article that explains the Disparity of Cult

canonlawmadeeasy.com

Marriage between a Catholic and a Non-Catholic

Q: My husband and I have been married almost 21 years now. He was raised as a Mormon, though he is a non-believer in any faith. We were married in the Church during a time when they had not fully d…
canonlawmadeeasy.com

The pastor is the person who will work with the couple, submit his suggestion to the Bishop (likely a visit with each person separately and also together, perhaps after a pre marriage inventory like FOCUS). The Catholic promises to do their best to raise children Catholic, the non-Christian simply acknowledges that they are aware of this promise. The “promise the children will be raised Catholic” is not what happens in today’s world.
 
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Thanks you, but I already known that a marriage between a catholic and a non-christian is non sacramental. Sorry to not been clearer in my post.
 
Actually, if someone told me that a teenage girl wanted to marry a man ten years older than her who she’d never introduced to her family and who was Greek Orthodox, I would almost certainly assume an online, international relationship. The only thing keeping me from that assumption in this case was the fact that the OP stated that she’d met the man at work. Marrying doesn’t guarantee you citizenship and assuming she works in the US, he’s already immigrated if he wasn’t born here, so neither of those are likely motivations in this case. If he’s from a foreign land where it’s legal to hold women captive, he could probably just as easily do that with a woman that’s already there. My first suspicious questions would be if he’s asked her for any money. I’d be tempted to run a credit report on her and make sure no extra student loans have been taken out.
 
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