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Guest
Have you tried reading the Liturgy of the Hours yet? I find it to be very moving. I don’t like surface spirituality that just skims over the surface. When I was in the military, we would go to bed very late at night polishing boots in the dark and waking up to return to polishing boots again. Polishing or rather “spit shining” boots is more of an are than an action. You have to get a feel for it much like an artist or musician spends endless hours laboring over learning techniques. The task can be rather draining. But in the end the boots get so shiny that others accuse you of painting your boots. I was so dedicated and good at G.I. ing that I received way too many awards just for paying attention to detail. I found that the same dedication applied to faith is just as productive. My falling away was very complicated and involved several priests a deacon, some seminarians and scandal. I ran like the wind after exposure to it. I’m sad, yet relieved, that most of the clergy that I’m talking about have been laicized, some more scandalous than others. I offer penance for those folks now and pray that our Heavenly Father will have mercy on them and return forgive me for my sins. It’s part of my self-imposed penance. A work of love…for others. The Liturgy of the Hours helps me draw closer to God. I mean it’s amazing. We recited it in the seminary. I recited it when I met my wife and missed it all those years I was practicing her faith. I went so far as to look for a way to create my own that would not draw attention from the Chrisitans around me that would have paniced over it if they knew what it was. So I burried my head in scripture instead. I read so much stuff that if lead me back home eventually. It’s rather dishonest in my opinion to study all that history and still deny that the Catholic Church, both Western and Eastern Rites were the norm all the way back to the beginning. I discovered the Eastern Rites in about 1992 or 93 after seeing the news. It amazed me because much of what they did sounded like a mix of my Catholic and current faith. I’ve often contemplated going to the eastern Church, but I am Latin and my wife and oldest son have resisted, so I’ll stay where I am and be happy in it.I converted to the Church from Protestantism in '91 and I thought all was going to be well. I remember going into the Church and getting a sense of awe and loving the History I felt there, I had no trouble with the beliefs I even started praying the Rosary 6 months before I entered physically into the Church.
It was in College (An Assembly of God College) where my NT Professor changlled us to examine ourselves and see if our beliefs were our own or if they were just parroting our parents faith.
Well in my case I was parroting my parents, so I set out to find what I believed. I studied everything Christian and found the beauty and richness of Catholicism, I prayed and to reign in a long story I went home from College and went to the Church and was given instructions by a wonderful Priest, read all the history of the Church and everything. I was fine for a while and then doubt crept in, I looked at the waves around me and wavered back and forth many times now. When my parents both died in June I became Catholic again, than stopped going to Mass and went to a Baptist Church where I have been going up until tomorrow. My first Mass in 6 months with my wife who is a cradle Catholic.
This time it was a few threads here that made me want to try again and with God’s help and strength stay. I will pray for you, please pray for me.
Going through the motions is a requirement when you’re not feeling the love so to speak. It’s hard, but just like you stick with your family, we stick with our God. He’s there…teaching us something to help us. Many times the lesson is difficult, but if we persist we will grow.
