Being rejected at work

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Yes I guess dealing with both situations on a daily basis takes its toll and some days I handle it better than others. I did have to mention to my manager the need for headphones in order to concentrate which I didn’t want to do as sometimes I just don’t feel like listening to concentration music just to drown out her incessant grumbling but it gets the work done
 
Thank you. A part of me feels bad that she says Catholic and yet behaves this way and is always gossiping and whispering by our desk. My husband said to just ignore her when she talks about other people but it’s near me so it’s distracting. Anyway, thanks all for lending an ear and I will look at those articles
 
Theresa1 said:
Yes I guess dealing with both situations on a daily basis takes its toll and some days I handle it better than others. I did have to mention to my manager the need for headphones in order to concentrate which I didn’t want to do as sometimes I just don’t feel like listening to concentration music just to drown out her incessant grumbling but it gets the work done
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Tis_Bearself has given excellent advice. As someone who has worked in Human Resources for more years than I care to admit, let me say that if you came to me with things like “she says good morning to everyone else but me,” there really isn’t much I can do with that.
But if you come to me with “She called me a b**** for forwarding her an email as I was instructed,” “she grumbles to herself so much that I have to wear earphones in order to concentrate on my work,” “she said ‘not my problem’ when I asked a work-related question” – those are things that need to be addressed, by her manager and/or HR.
If you decide you want to take it up with the manager or HR (and that is entirely your decision), I suggest keeping some notes (unobtrusively, of course) - date, details of what happened, if there are any witnesses. That information will make it much easier for management to address.
 
Thank you i did this 2 years ago thinking maybe HR would help (with regard to the grumbling distraction) and they said they would have the manager talk to her but since things didn’t change I let it go and bought headphones. Thank you
 
Sometimes management is not effective on how they handle situations.
They told her that you complained. So she is holding a grudge.
It’s called retaliation.
 
Theresa1 said:
Wow for almost 4 years this woman responds to me rudely to the point of being nasty sometimes and I have mental illness. Maybe yesterday I was a bit more emotional than the norm but your comment is odd
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Ah, apologies if you mistook it, the “/s” means “sarcasm” in some circles, similar to “jk” (just kidding). I wasn’t being serious, but rather, pointing out a common trend among certain users on CAF. 👍
 
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Oh lol sorry, I’m to blame a bit because I realize my post sounded like it only had to do with the hi and bye and not the other consistent horrid behavior on her part. Theoldcolonel said to consider her like an enemy and so that’s what I’m doing. I prayed for her this morning and am doing a novena to move her out of my life. I tried to be more myself at work today, usually I hold back with others when it comes to friendly conversation because it’s almost like I fear speaking but today I’m more st peace with my response to her poor behavior since there are no tears today!
 
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Thank you, I did but they said no to the desk move unfortunately. But thank you for this post
 
Thank you, that actually ended today I’m no longer going to say hi or bye since she doesn’t respond even when it’s quiet and I know she hears me which is almost comical if it weren’t so blatantly rude. The worse part is now this may fuel her gossip with coworkers “she doesn’t even say hi etc…”
 
Thank you, the gossip is usually by my desk so I hear it sometimes. My husband says she did it to herself sheesh I wonder if Jesus would want me to keep saying hi and bye!
 
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I certainly cannot speak for Jesus, but it seems you did all you can humanly to be cordial. As long as you don’t grow bitter or resentful, then it seems you’re ok…I think…
 
Thanks, it’s not easy and I will return any greeting I get but I’m a bit tired of the obvious cold shoulder.
 
The people she gossips with are usually people who visit from different areas not our division.
 
I’m uncomfortable around her because of rude responses towards work requests and her distracting grumbling. I don’t sense she’s uncomfortable around me at all.
 
My advice. If you feel awkward saying hi to someone, then trust your instincts. Your instincts seem to be shouting not to say hi to this woman, she is clearly not wanting your attention, accept that. If she is passive aggressive though, then confront her on if she has a problem with you and why. But never say hi to people who do not want you to say hi to them. Respect their freedom of choice.
 
Theresa1 said:
I’m uncomfortable around her because of rude responses towards work requests and her distracting grumbling. I don’t sense she’s uncomfortable around me at all.
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All that grumbling over years and years has to be exhausting. Taking all that grumbling as a personal affront even more so. Wear the headphones.

Who really cares if she gossips about you? Stay above board, treat others right and they will realize it’s idle gossip.
 
Thanks. I was starting to resent being led to have to wear headphones because I don’t always want to but it’s always a necessity.
 
Theresa1 said:
Thanks. I was starting to resent being led to have to wear headphones because I don’t always want to but it’s always a necessity.
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I trust askamanager.org for many things. Your situation is not unique. She has suggested headphones for people who sit next to farters, burpers, coughers, and mumblers.

It seems you suffer more from being in an open work space.

I talk to myself when working, especially on complicated things that involve sorting vast amounts of information or how sentences sound. I tried to keep it as quiet as possible for my co-worker’s sake, but that doesn’t always happen.

If you look at it like something she can’t help–a sort of illness–you may feel less resentful of having to wear the headphones.
 
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