Catholic dating websites. Ummmm

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You are still young. Focus on growing as a person. Yeap there is still more growing up to do. From my experience on regular dating sites, everyone tends to be dishonest and the sites/apps are used as a tool to hook up. I signed up for CM and most men in my area said they were catholic but didnt follow the teachings. Why would i sign up to a catholic site if i wasnt looking for someone that is a practicing catholic? If i wanted a non practicing catholic i would be some wherelse. I am a single mom, with a career, and a home. I am looking for the real deal not someone disguising themselves as catholic.

Keep focusing on growing a relationship with god, and establishing yourself. Someone will come eventually.
 
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Catholic Match and online dating in general is a visual medium and thus looks are too often the first criteria for most people of both sexes. It works for some, I know a few who married and I’m always happy for them. But it doesn’t work for everyone. I am not that good looking nor that tall. Hence I do better getting dates in real life than I do online though I’m rather introverted. Women can at least see my personality. So I quit online dating awhile ago. Everyone has to figure out what areas they do best in; I do my best getting out of the house, not sitting at a screen and keyboard.
 
Wow.

I can understand a woman wanting a husband who can support a family with her at home (in fact, seeking such a relationship is admirable in this age) , but “gold digger” is the most charitable term I can come up with for this . . .

hawk
 
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There are any resources out there on how to create an attractive and authentic dating profile. This applies to both men and women.

Basically, have recent well lit photos that show you off. Not just headshots but full body shots, you hanging out with friends, you with your pet and you doing an activity you love.

Even if you are overweight, you should try to include the above. Hiding your body isn’t going to help the cause because people will sometimes see past that if they think you are interesting. Plenty of “fat” people are married with kids.

https://www.menaskem.com/8-profile-pictures-that-help-you-meet-more-women/

http://www.datingadvice.com/online-dating/online-dating-photos

Secondly, have an interesting non-waffling bio. Do the quizzes if there are any, and engage with the community.

Thirdly, become a better candidate. If you don’t seem like you are engaged with your job, or willing to upskill—you most likely won’t get much attention because people are looking for interesting and happy people. If you hate your job, you won’t be fun right?

If you need to become more active, do it. Same with finding a new hobby, losing weight, learning more about your faith.

You can be an overweight DnD player, who hikes occasionally, and works as a welder and loves his dog Peanut and find genuine love. (I am just using stereotypes here). As long as your profile actually communicates who you are.
 
be careful with those. Some people aren’t what they seem on online dating sites. If you try those, it’s best to look at their FB page to see if they are really single.
 
There’s another way to look at a woman who only wants to marry a doctor or lawyer. Some women are very focused. They don’t want to lead the wrong guy on. They know that many marriages really are an exchange of good looks/sex for money/security. They care about personality too, and religious belief, but they want somebody who is focused and detailed in his thinking, somebody achievement-oriented.

A person such as the OP is trying to find somebody who will love him for who he is. But part of who he is is a stable, financially aware man with good prospects. He shouldn’t hide that any more than a beautiful woman should walk around in ripped jeans and a lumberjack outfit, try to smell bad, hunch her shoulders over, shave her head, and generally try to be loved for her personality only. It just doesn’t work like that.

If I was the OP, I’d set up a few more criteria. Devoutly Catholic might seem like enough, but to be honest, it’s very little to go on. It’s only a bare minimum. For example, why not say you want a woman who is fiscally astute? Sure you have a pile of money in your future, but she needs to know what to do with it. Would you like an entrepreneur Catholic woman who can double your financial investments in two years? Would you like a very educated woman who schedules everything from conferences to date night, or a woman who goes with the flow. My guess is you haven’t narrowed enough down. It’s Saturday night. What is your beloved doing in your imagination? Is she with family, out volunteering, at Church, at a bar with friends, at a university talk on the Falun Gong and their struggles? Try to picture what kind of wife you really want.
 
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You mentioned law school. I selected one Florida Diocese at random, you can check with your own Diocese.

A group like this could provide mentors, fellowship, and if not fellow legal professionals your age, people who are the parents/grandparents of Catholics your age. http://www.dosafl.com/catholic-lawyers-guild/

What about:

Our Chapters

With more than 30 chapters, young Catholic community is always right around the corner, and chances are we already are where you are. Come see where you fit in.
www.youngcatholicprofessionals.org www.youngcatholicprofessionals.org

The NCSC is coming up soon, it is a national event, might be a fun vacation! http://www.nationalcatholicsingles.com/
 
I don’t know what kind of wife I really want. I said I want a devoutly catholic wife. Just saying that narrows my options down dramatically. I have some non-negotiables, like no drug use, no addictions, no mental illness, no racism. I consider spending too much an addiction too.

I never really thought about if I wanted an entrepreneur Catholic woman. Honestly I wouldn’t want her to invest my money. I’m pretty fiscally conservative. Besides most of my money is already tied up into property anyway. I have no debt. My condo is paid off. I have another house that’s paid off as well I can move to if I needed more space and I could rent out the condo for extra income.

Anyway, I think you’re over simplifying it. I get your analogy about the ripped jeans and lumberjack outfit, but that’s going to the extreme. I personally would prefer a woman who didn’t care THAT much about her looks or her clothing. The other extreme of caring so much as to become vain is all too common and I can’t stand it. I understand that I’m more desirable because of my career and my income, but if a woman didn’t like me prior to knowing my bank account statement, I don’t think that’s a healthy start.
Lara said:
They know that many marriages really are an exchange of good looks/sex for money/security.
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Yeah. I don’t want that kind of marriage. I’d rather be single than have that kind of marriage. That’s aiming extremely low in my opinion.
 
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SacredHeartBassist said:
Honestly I wouldn’t want her to invest my money.
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More than anything this statement sums up your real message and the real issue and perhaps why you’re not ready for marriage or attracting a spouse.

Once you are married it’s not your money. It’s not your life. You do not get veto power. If she wanted to sell the properties and do something else they are BOTH your properties.

I had some debt I brought to the marriage because of college, which I was close to paying off. However, I have to give my Sister-in-law kudos. She is marrying a man with a significant amount of debt, however, they discussed a plan like adults and she is actually understanding what she is taking on and plans to make massive payments out of her savings the day after they are wed. THAT is being ready for marriage. They have a financial plan. Eventually, his income will far exceed hers but for now they understand what is “theirs” for better and for worse.
 
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Sure I would get veto power. It’s property that I acquired before the marriage. What if she wanted to invest in the stock market or make a poor financial investment?
 
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SacredHeartBassist said:
Sure I would get veto power. It’s property that I acquired before the marriage. What if she wanted to invest in the stock market or make a poor financial investment?
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You don’t get “veto power” in marriage. That’s not a thing. They are no longer your investments. You work together with what you want to do. You make decisions based on what is best for your family. You don’t get to say that you all need to live in a condo because that’s what you like but she gets grief from the neighbors because the kids are just being kids. You don’t get to choose where you live and simply veto her. You work together.

Let’s say that “she” had X amount in a liquid asset and you needed X amount for an emergency at one of your properties. Or you could take a loan out for a really high interest rate. Despite there being cash on hand she vetos you. You really think in a marriage that kind of behavior is acceptable?
 
I think there should be communication about financial problems together. I wouldn’t want my wife to invest my money though. Not without discussing it with me together first and we BOTH invest it together.

I’m not even dating anyone so this whole “what if” conversation about finances is pointless
 
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SacredHeartBassist said:
I think there should be communication about financial problems together. I wouldn’t want my wife to invest my money though. Not without discussing it with me together first and we BOTH invest it together.

I’m not even dating anyone so this whole “what if” conversation about finances is pointless
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Not really.

It is a huge insight into your feelings and approach. One that shows blazing red flags.

Once you get married it’s not YOUR (singular) money. It’s YOUR (plural) money. You are indicating that you get veto power–would you extend her that same power?

Of course, you don’t invest on your own–neither of you does–but you don’t get some sort of power over her because you came into it before marriage.

Even this alone is a very problematic view of marriage. It is a poison that has the potential to drive you apart. Is it your tools, your car, your whatever? If she’s prone to spills and you have a valuable rug you like and want in the living room is she going to have to have to avoid walking on it so she doesn’t ruin it just because you want it there and she knows that she is likely to damage it?
 
guess i’m too selfish for marriage/dating then
 
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Relinquishing all of my property is something I don’t think I could do. I love my musical instruments too much

and I made a promise to my family to always keep a family property and never sell it or put a mortgage on it. Whoever I marry, if I ever do, would have to know that
 
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SacredHeartBassist said:
Relinquishing all of my property is something I don’t think I could do. I love my musical instruments too much

and I made a promise to my family to always keep a family property and never sell it or put a mortgage on it. Whoever I marry, if I ever do, would have to know that
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It might never happen but its something you have to consider. I love my dog, but if I had found a man who was allergic, or if any of my children ever “came up” allergic, I would have had to find another home for her. Nothing in my life is worth more than the welfare of my spouse and my children. My husband tolerates my dog for me. I tolarate things for his sake

As far as the property–its property. If the life or welfare of your spouse or children came into play any promises you made to your family are completely overridden by the vow you made to your wife. You also could get married and not produce children and have to make decisions about the property in your old age. Or perhaps you will have many children–none of whom want the property even for free, especially with strings attached. You may be unemployed and need money to keep a roof over your children’s heads. Are you really going to say “Sorry Bobby and Suzie, we’re not eating tonight because Daddy promised great aunt Nona that we’d always have the beach house and the renters are behind on their rent.”

You can have the best of intentions, but life might not turn out the way you expect. Being married means that you can try but there is a higher chance you could come to a point where it is necessary.

I hope you understand that I am not saying this to be cruel. It’s been pointed out that my bluntness is often mistaken for rudeness or even bullying.
 
I think you’re reading into what I said rather than what I said. All of what you mentioned are valid reasons to sell property or to sacrifice in order to take care of my family.

But I didn’t respond to that to begin with. I had a problem with my hypothetical wife needlessly investing money in order to double it. I’m fiscally conservative. Some of my family lost over 100k in the stock market during the last crash. I’m against investing needlessly.
 
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