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Ammi
Guest
So is this just a technicality that doesnt matter much either?
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TC3033
Guest
I wouldn’t go with either of those choices personally, if you’re going to “continue to show love to the couple” or want them you life.TC3033:
I guess it would be, “This is my daughter’s partner.”
Or boyfriend/girlfriend
Or lover
I know if my MIL introduced me as my wife’s boyfriend, partner, or…god forbid…lover, I don’t think we’d be hanging around their house too much, nor would they at ours. I sure wouldn’t want be, nor my spouse, addressed in such a way in front of our kids.
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Ammi
Guest
You arent Catholic.
I’m not into role playing and enduldging others in various beliefs.
It’s an issue that requires to choose the State OR the Church. I choose the Church.
I’m not into role playing and enduldging others in various beliefs.
It’s an issue that requires to choose the State OR the Church. I choose the Church.
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TC3033
Guest
I don’t think that makes a difference here, TBH. We have two couples in our family who weren’t married in the Church. My MIL does not introduce them as “So and So’ Lover”. It’s SIL and DIL.
That’s not what’s going on here, but if it makes you feel better…OK
And in doing so, you may be making a choice that will strain or break the relationship. I think that’s all anyone has been trying to say.
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Ammi
Guest
If you arent Catholic, why would it matter if someone else leaves the faith? Also, you have already conveyed that your Catholic family DOESN’T CARE! From that point, they show a lack of faith and charity. This is harmful to the whole Church.
Nothing about invalid marriages makes me feel better. Role playing that the couple are married is pathetic. The State is not greater than the Church. A side must be taken.
No, whoever chooses to break the relationship and cast out or censure the other is responsible for making that choice.
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TC3033
Guest
It’s too bad you feel that way.
I’d probably lay off saying that to the happy couple if you expect the relationship to stay intact.
Sure… I don’t think anyone has disagreed.
The concept you seem to not be able to grasp is: "By making the choice not to attend, they may make the decision that if you won’t attend their wedding (their most important day)…you may then not want to be part of their life at all. It was something for the OP to think about… BTW, some of the things you’ve said about the couple (even in just the last few replies), like role playing they’re married or calling their spouse their “lover” could/would perpetuate the sentiment that indeed you do not care to be in their life as well and would then could have some culpability.
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Ammi
Guest
The relationship is already bad!
They are leaving His Eucharist!
You dont care about that, because you dont receive it either. Your Catholic family doesnt care for God knows why.
They are leaving His Eucharist!
You dont care about that, because you dont receive it either. Your Catholic family doesnt care for God knows why.
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TC3033
Guest
We as a family decided to support each other and maintain our relationships with our sons, daughters, brothers, sisters, nieces, nephews, grandchildren, etc…because we’ve seen not going do some real damage to the relationships.
Thus my advice to the OP. There is no rule against attendance, and is it worth putting a real strain on the family relationship/dynamic.
If it is – Even though there’s no rule, don’t go.
If it isn’t – attend.
That’s pretty much it.
Thus my advice to the OP. There is no rule against attendance, and is it worth putting a real strain on the family relationship/dynamic.
If it is – Even though there’s no rule, don’t go.
If it isn’t – attend.
That’s pretty much it.
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Ammi
Guest
Leaving His Eucharist puts a strain on the relationship with every Catholic. Starting with those closest.
Criticizing and judging other Catholics for refusing to support a ceremony which reflects that decision is evil.
Criticizing and judging other Catholics for refusing to support a ceremony which reflects that decision is evil.
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Ammi
Guest
Do you see?
Catholic refrains from Eucharist, then asks family to participate in their ceremony. Family refrains, and Catholic judges them.
Not very cool, huh?
Catholic refrains from Eucharist, then asks family to participate in their ceremony. Family refrains, and Catholic judges them.
Not very cool, huh?
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TC3033
Guest
Did I say it was?
I will say again…what I’ve been saying the whole thread.
OP: I’ve seen it happen. I’m not saying who’s right and who’s wrong but declining to be a part of a child’s wedding MAY put a significant strain on the parent/child relationship. Something to put on the table and think about.
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Ammi
Guest
What also has been revealed with examples, is the fact that your Catholic family members did not reconcile with the Church because of the relationship being maintained.
While the one example given of a father refraining from the ceremony, the Catholic couple did reconcile with the Church.
Something to consider.
While the one example given of a father refraining from the ceremony, the Catholic couple did reconcile with the Church.
Something to consider.
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TC3033
Guest
What has also been revealed, I have seen it strain and nearly break a relationship.
In knowing my family, that surely would have happened in this case as well. Having witnessed this before, they weren’t going to make that mistake again.
Only the OP, who appears isn’t coming back, knows the friend and the family.
There’s definitely multiple outcomes for them to consider.
In knowing my family, that surely would have happened in this case as well. Having witnessed this before, they weren’t going to make that mistake again.
Only the OP, who appears isn’t coming back, knows the friend and the family.
There’s definitely multiple outcomes for them to consider.
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Ammi
Guest
That’s why it’s best to not try to figure out what will happen, and playcate psychological games in case the couple is placing conditions of friendship on whether or not they support and celebrate a ceremony which reflects leaving His Eucharist.
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Why do you have to take everything and turn it into something no one said?
Do you want people who don’t want to be Catholic and don’t believe the Eucharist is truly Jesus committing sacrilege by receiving it?
I mean, really. Come on. You, of all people, would be the first person to call someone out on receiving Holy Eucharist without believing in the True Presence!
I’m not asking you to judge anyone! I’m asking you to recognize and appreciate that a marriage that doesn’t follow the letter of the law can still encompass aspects that are pleasing to God. Letter of the law…spirit of the law. This “higher law” you carry on about is love. Somehow you simply aren’t putting 2 and 2 together…and it’s getting frustrating.
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Ammi
Guest
They shouldnt receive. And I shouldnt support their wedding which reflects their rejection of His Eucharist.
I’m not buying this. The wedding reflects a rejection of the heart of the faith. His Eucharist.
Dont expect me to support a wedding which does this.
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Ammi
Guest
You are telling us that they can be following the Spirit of the law, while rejecting His Eucharist.
Even if they never got invalidly married, they still don’t want to be Catholic, and they still likely don’t believe it’s truly Jesus. Either way they’ve rejected Him and the Church. It’s a stretch to say it’s the wedding that has rejected the Eucharist—it’s the total lifestyle they’ve chosen to lead.
We’re strictly speaking in terms of marriage. Couple marries outside the Church. They love each other, make sacrifices for each other, and stay faithful to each other. They have children and give them all the love and attention they deserve. They teach their children to serve others.
But you say none of that means anything at all because they didn’t follow the letter of the law.
You are essentially saying that to be a good, God-fearing person one must be Catholic. Sorry, not buying it. Better be careful with this all-or-nothing attitude. Non-Catholics may not have the fullness of the Faith or the Eucharist, and that is sad. But that doesn’t mean they aren’t good people who are capable of following the law of love.
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TC3033
Guest
That’s a two way street (especially in the eyes of the couple)…just say’n, especially if you actually say some of the things about them as you state you would up thread. It’s getting hard to believe that you can’t see that.
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Ammi
Guest
Not attending a wedding which we dont believe in has nothing to do with rejecting their friendship.
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