C
clem456
Guest
hey that’s great…
This is one of the best posts so far.Related to this…
having the capacity to carry and nurture life gives a woman a sensitivity to things that men may have a harder time understanding. For a woman, to give of themselves in cooperating with the creation of life requires patience, hope, intimacy with the new life growing inside, seeing value in suffering through the various pains of giving new life. And, a woman knows what it is to be vulnerable to a greater degree than men. Being vulnerable brings home the reality that ultimately we are not really self sufficient. We depend on each other. Men are not forced to deal with this to the same degree, but it is still a reality, is it not?
If a woman knows what it is to be vulnerable, to realize that self sufficiency is a lie, does this bring them closer to the truth that we all need God?
If we men don’t see our complete need to get close to God, whose fault is that??? Who are we listening to that drags us away from being obedient to God? Is that the fault of our women? Our music? Please…
If there is no men’s bible study at your parish, you be the one to start it.
If you don’t like guitars and pianos and “feminine” music, you learn the organ, you join the choir, send your son to music school. Too many female EMHC’s? You get involved and start visiting nursing homes with communion.
In our parish we have about 30 emhc that visit nursing homes and hospitals in our parish. About 10% of us are men. Where are the rest of you? Where have you been, you guys that would be all about it, if only the Mass music suited your tastes? Is it time to get off your butts and man up?
Courageous by Casting Crowns (written for our men - may God send His Holy Spirit with the gift of Courage)Where are the rest of you? Where have you been, you guys that would be all about it, if only the Mass music suited your tastes? Is it time to get off your butts and man up?
Good song, good movie. I have it, and am reading Facing the Giants.Courageous by Casting Crowns (written for our men - may God send His Holy Spirit with the gift of Courage)
youtube.com/watch?v=tI1LgfkF8J8
lyrics:
we were made to be courageous
we were made to lead the way
we could be the generation that finally breaks the chains
we were made to be courageous
we were made to be courageous
we were warriors on the front lines,
standing unafraid.
but now we’re watchers on the side lines,
while our families slip away.
where are you men of courage?
you were made for so much more.
let the pounding of our hearts cry,
we will serve the Lord.
we were made to be courageous,
and were taking back the fight.
we were made to be courageous,
and it starts with us tonight.
the only way we’ll ever stand,
is on our knees with lifted hands.
make us courageous,
Lord make us courageous.
this is our resolution, our answer to the call,
we will love our wives and children,
and refuse to let them fall.
we will reignite the passion,
that we buried deep inside.
may the watchers become warriors,
let the men of God arise.
Background:
seek justice, love mercy, walk humbly with your God
seek justice, love mercy, walk humbly with your God
Lead singer:
In the war of the mind i will make my stand,
in the battle of the heart, in the battle of the hands.
in the war of the mind i will make my stand,
in the battle of the heart, in the battle of the hands
If you end up trying the basketball, let us know how it goes so we can talk to our pastors about it.I like it! Masculine, sports-based appeal … appealing to the male psyche yet connected to the Church … thank you!
Ever heard “Lord of the Dance”? That is an effeminate hymn if I ever heard one. In addition, there are feminine ways of singing hymns, like with guitars and fluttery-styled piano playing..
I imagine “flaccid” preaching would push both male and female genders away.
Effeminate music? (I’ve never heard anyone describe church music as “effeminate”. What would be considered effeminate music? Hymns? )
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We recently sold my deceased mother’s home and in the process came across old photo albums from the 1920’s to the 1970’s.Whether its video games, history and law discussions or BBQ its really about giving men a connection to the Church. Too many men feel that church artivities are primarily geared to the needs of women so giving men opportunites for things they enjoy can only help. You can’t get them through the door without them first stepping on the porch. Use things like this to get them to the porch and after a while they might poke their head through the door.![]()
I’m with you - feminine is tough in a different way than masculine, and shouldn’t be synonymous with weakness or inferiority.Is there anything we can do to stop calling these hymns as feminine/effeminate or masculine? The way they are being used to negatively describe these hymns is a little insulting, as if all women are into that style of music. As a woman who has very little love for those kinds of hymns and speaking for many other women who feel the same, it’s a bit condescending to women. I personally find most of them sappy and saccharine and mediocre, and I don’t associate those adjectives with feminity, as I believe most of us here, man or woman, would agree. True feminity is beautiful… not sappy or saccharine or mediocre.
According to dictionary.com " effeminate" is an adjective describing a man or boy who has feminine delicacy and womanly traits. So the term is not disrespectful to femininity per se. Rather it is a reference to an displacement of traditionally feminine characteristics onto a man.I’m with you - feminine is tough in a different way than masculine, and shouldn’t be synonymous with weakness or inferiority.
Effeminacy has a disordered quality about it, while femininity does not.
I know a man who could be described as “effeminate” who is happily married heterosexual man with many children. He does not “take on” those qualities. That is just how he is. In fact I have met a few heterosexual effeminate men in my lifetime who do not exaggerate. So I guess they would fit into Definition no.1. When I see someone who is exaggerating femininity the word that comes to my mind is flamboyant.According to dictionary.com " effeminate" is an adjective describing a man or boy who has feminine delicacy and womanly traits. So the term is not disrespectful to femininity per se. Rather it is a reference to an displacement of traditionally feminine characteristics onto a man.
Dictionary.com also offers a 2nd definition that “effeminate” may be characterized by excessive softness, delicacy, self-indulgence, etc.; effeminate luxury. Those are clearly not feminine traits, many women are much tougher than men, and women are frequently more “other-focused” and less self indulgent then men. So for the male to become effeminate means to take on those undesirable “effeminate” qualities, which would seem to be inappropriate for either a woman or a man.
Thank you, zab, for indirectly correcting me, and reminding me that I, too, have met several men who fit the description you just gave. Those men are not “affecting” anything, of course. They just are, naturally, who they are, and they should be appreciated for their individuality. (I can think immediately of at least two heterosexual, happily married men who exactly fit that description.)I know a man who could be described as “effeminate” who is happily married heterosexual man with many children. He does not “take on” those qualities. That is just how he is. In fact I have met a few heterosexual effeminate men in my lifetime who do not exaggerate. So I guess they would fit into Definition no.1. When I see someone who is exaggerating femininity the word that comes to my mind is flamboyant.
The problem I had was that the term was constantly being used as a derogatory description of awful hymns. I don’t think people using the term meant it that way, but it gave the implication that music which is often sappy, saccharine and mediocre would even be described as effeminate or feminine. (Firstly, there is really no such thing as feminine and masculine music if you look at it from a purely musical point-of-view, but that actually doesn’t bother me, especially if someone wants to describe two equally well-composed compositions as such.) But to describe what people consider “good” music as masculine and what they consider “bad” music as feminine/effeminate (the two terms have been used interchangeably here on CAF) is where the problem lies.According to dictionary.com " effeminate" is an adjective describing a man or boy who has feminine delicacy and womanly traits. So the term is not disrespectful to femininity per se. Rather it is a reference to an displacement of traditionally feminine characteristics onto a man.
Dictionary.com also offers a 2nd definition that “effeminate” may be characterized by excessive softness, delicacy, self-indulgence, etc.; effeminate luxury. Those are clearly not feminine traits, many women are much tougher than men, and women are frequently more “other-focused” and less self indulgent then men. So for the male to become effeminate means to take on those undesirable “effeminate” qualities, which would seem to be inappropriate for either a woman or a man.
The quality of effeminacy is thus distinct from feminity. Effeminacy has a disordered quality about it, while feminity does not.
It is correct that the terms should not be confused. Feminity and effeminacy are distinct ideas. Feminity should be exalted, as should masculinity. We need both in our lives!The problem I had was that the term was constantly being used as a derogatory description of awful hymns. I don’t think people using the term meant it that way, but it gave the implication that music which is often sappy, saccharine and mediocre would even be described as effeminate or feminine. (Firstly, there is really no such thing as feminine and masculine music if you look at it from a purely musical point-of-view, but that actually doesn’t bother me, especially if someone wants to describe two equally well-composed compositions as such.) But to describe what people consider “good” music as masculine and what they consider “bad” music as feminine/effeminate (the two terms have been used interchangeably here on CAF) is where the problem lies.
Also, I do know very masculine, straight men who actually like these hymns. There is nothing effeminate about them. They just like the music for whatever reason and although I think the music is downright horrible, I wouldn’t think their liking for it is “disordered”.
I usually don’t get my corsette strings too uptight about these things, but seeing feminine/effeminate constantly on one thread or on other threads used as a derogatory description of a certain style of music was a little frustrating.
I’m surprised at the amount of Catholics who rarely attend mass, I think it’s because they don’t know what they are missing, they can’t see.It seems there are fewer men in church these days. What’s the cause of this? Of course our culture and loss of religious belief is a big part. But it’s more than that, I believe! Some say the men stay away because of flaccid preaching, other’s say it’s effeminate music, some might say the Church has softened it’s teaching too much. But it’s crucial to get the men back, because statistics show that children often mimic Dad’s religious practices. So if Dad doesn’t go to Mass, when the children grow up, they won’t either.
So, why don’t men attend Mass, and how do we get them back? This priest would like to hear your ideas,so I may implement them at my earliest opportunity!

Sure, and Amen, sister, as far as dance, generically, having many masculilne dimensions, including strength and vigor. However, 3 things:In my personal opinion, Lord of the Dance is a very strong, masculine hymn. The tune is found in Copland’s Appalachian Suite, and was written based on American mountain folk music–hardly an “effeminate” or “saccharine” environment. On the contrary, life in the Appalachians was a daily struggle for survival.