It’s not just my grandpa. It’s any human being.
Since you mention it, and perhaps I should keep my mouth shut on this one. Fr.Fortea in his book “Summa Demoniaca” addresses the case. I have thought about it. Those in heaven find their wills so aligned with God himself that they don’t stop loving their family members and yet have perfect acceptance of God’s will. Also, it should be said there are many levels of purgatory, the last of which doesn’t seem to have many torments besides being outside of heaven itself and thus deprived of the beatific vision. To go to hell, it might be fair to say one must really have strived for it.
It is said, that only a few are explicitly condemned to hell by scripture. Among them the infamous false prophet. So, out of prudence, and following with St.Theresa of Avila council, don’t ever wish or ask for that gift. If you find yourself guessing the future, go running to confession and repent.
Also, thinking of hell does us good in reminding the gravity of sin. But there are smoother and more pleasent ways of living a faith full of joy. And constantly pondering on the “vision of hell” for example takes its toll.
Personally I’d recommend some light and pleasent reading (our daily cross can be heavy as it is, and being charitable and merciful is quite a challenge in itself), personally I’d recommend “Gaudete et exultate” by pope Francis. Just of the printing press, and a pleasure to read. I just can’t get enough of this book, and it does present plenty of constructive challenges and brings great joy with it.
God bless.