I am Catholic and my girlfriend is Protestant

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I can’t comment on too many of his videos, I think I’ve only watched two. My wife’s parish sent me another one, but I admittently never watched it.

TBH, after you reading your message and thinking about it…since it is pitched at the UMD college crowd it’s not even oversimplified (thinking of young minds)…speaking of this one video in particular I’d say it was borderline misleading. I actually do remember another portion of the video when he said he was talking to a college aged gal and totally stereotyped non-Catholics in order to talk her out of the relationship (if memory serves me correctly).

Maybe I’m wrong. 🤷‍♂️
 
OK, so from that, the lesson I’d take away is, don’t go to Father Mike if I want to discuss my mixed relationship.

There are other priests who are less averse to them. Some of them even grew up in mixed-marriage households.

I often think I was lucky that our pastor made things so easy for us. I didn’t appreciate it at the time. He was also not the kind of “modern” priest who you’d expect to make things easy. He was an older Hispanic man with a PhD and he came off somewhat stern. Which makes it even nicer that he was so kind and helpful. I didn’t even understand half the stuff he did till I started reading this forum to be honest.
 
OK, so from that, the lesson I’d take away is, don’t go to Father Mike if I want to discuss my mixed relationship.
I wouldn’t…and TBH I wouldn’t send young couples that way either. What I was saying is that some points being made kind of “parroted” the video…wide swathing generalizations, stereotyping and just weird stuff.
 
@TC3033,

@Tis_Bearself makes a good point. Though to be fair; my ex and I were both Protestants at the time. Though I was praying the Rosary and she would throw faith alone at me and I’d respond with faith without works is dead.

After the divorce, I was received into the Church.

Flash forward: My ex died last December and I inherited my sons.

We live with my parents, my sister and my niece. All liberal ELCA and I’m a conservative Catholic. Fun times had by all.

Basically, at home I can’t open my mouth and defend the Faith against their liberal views they say in front of my sons all the time without a war starting up.

Even though my Dad tries to defuse us and I try to be ecumenical, I’ll admit though that I’m not very nice about it most of the time; but my Mom and my sister’s feelings get real hurt real easy because they feel that I say everything they believe is wrong.

Last night: My sister told my boys, right in front of me at the dinner table; that being gay was okay. My Mom tried to get me to be silent and speak with my boys in private later; but I came straight out and told her that she’s not telling my sons that it’s okay to be gay when it’s not. It violates God’s Law and you can’t be Christian and be gay.

Later, my niece comes out, telling me to burn in hell; informing me that she’s bisexual and saying I’m bashing on her because she’s

1: Pro Abortion

2: Lutheran

3: Bisexual

I’m not bashing; I’m simply saying that abortion is murder, Luther was wrong and being gay is a sin.

I have two things I’d redo if I could:

1: Be nicer about my Faith vs theirs

2: Tell my niece that her being gay isn’t wrong of a sin. It’s engaging in those acts and loving the lifestyle is the sin.

That’s what I face every day when I come home; while one son is discerning the Faith and the other remains Lutheran and tells me that my fiancé and I should be Lutheran and some antiCatholicism on his part.

Both my sons are nine.

And that’s the family I was born into. This isn’t even a marriage. That would be worse. I tell you: I’ll never date outside the Faith; if this is what I could expect dating a devout Protestant.

The only solace I have in my life is my Faith, the Church, my kids and my fiancé. The reason why I find so much solace and support with her is that she herself is Catholic. She understands my Faith.
 
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@whatistrue

Yeah. 3 was wrong. I should’ve said that being gay isn’t wrong; it’s the acts that’s wrong.
 
Yeah. Otherwise, I feel I did right. Still, I felt terrible all day and I even cried for five minutes at work from the spiritual pain.
 
if this is what I could expect dating a devout Protestant.
After reading all of the above, I would say that your situation would be the minority…but also makes the point that I have echoed.

If you can’t respect each others faith (and that’s both of you…the non-Catholic AND the Catholic) then the marriage is destined to fail.

We have a mutual respect in our relationship, my wife likes where I’m at and only once (maybe twice) in 20 years can I remember her saying anything negative.

In your situation it doesn’t sound like either side respects the other…yes, that is a recipe for a battle ground…but to say (or make it sound) all mixed marriages are such is just incorrect.
 
@TC3033

I agree with you that both sides have to respect each other’s religion. That’s never an issue.

My only point for this whole thread is that the OP has to discern deeply how the dynamics are likely to work. From what I’ve seen, granted I’ve never met the girl and I don’t know the full situation; this potential marriage is problematic. If this girl sets out her “ certain things “ that make doubletalk of her statement that it’s okay of the kids are raised Catholic.
 
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As a 52 year old woman, I can tell you no woman is chill about anything. She wants to keep you around and not face these differences right now, so she’s saying “all of this is not a big deal.” Later, she’ll dig in her heels.
Take this advice to heart OP. In addition, your girlfriend’s Protestant father and friends will undoubtedly teach the children Protestant beliefs while shunning Catholic ones behind your back, and the kids will eventually not want to go to “boring” Mass at all and instead see mommy preach every Sunday. You will ultimately be seen as the overbearing father and “the problem” in every argument.

This isn’t some far-fetched theory: I grew up Protestant and know first-hand how irrational they are regarding Catholicism. They will go to great lengths to “rescue” the children from you. I’d strongly advise against going down that road and nip the relationship in the bud.
 
In addition, your girlfriend’s Protestant father and friends will undoubtedly teach the children Protestant beliefs while shunning Catholic ones behind your back,
Doubt it…
You will ultimately be seen as the overbearing father and “the problem” in every argument.
Doubt it.
This isn’t some far-fetched theory:
Yea it is.
I grew up Protestant
I still am.
know first-hand how irrational they are regarding Catholicism.
:roll_eyes: If we were, we probably wouldn’t marry Catholics and vice-virsa. That’s like me saying all Catholics are irrational regarding non-Catholic Christians… 🤔
They will go to great lengths to “rescue” the children from you.
Doubt it…
I’d strongly advise against going down that road and nip the relationship in the bud.
I wouldn’t.
 
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I’m just speaking from personal experience my friend. Being a Protestant, I have to doubt you have any interest in seeing OP stay Catholic or enter a Catholic relationship, but maybe that’s a far-fetched theory too. 😄
 
As a non-Catholic I’ve been in a “mixed” marriage for over 16 years…been together 20 and have 3 Catholic kids.

If anyone around here that knows me knows I’m saying it can work, and I’m living proof. Why would I not want the OP to stay Catholic…? I just don’t want the OP to throw anything away or be deterred when I know it can work. Not every non-Catholic is about trying to convert or “save” Catholics…I would say that it’s the minority. I grew up learning that we’re all Christians trying to get to Heaven the best we can. Heck…I even worked at a Catholic HS…gasp.
 
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Some Protestants aren’t trying to get to heaven because they believe heaven is assured for them as soon as they take the Lord on as their personal Saviour. You can read about this type of presumption in the obituaries all the time; so-and-so went to heaven to be with his maker. But surely some of them are frying.

TC3033; unless we know the real inner workings of your marriage, we have to take it on faith that it represents a good mixed marriage to our OP. Some things that are no problem for you might not count as “elements in a good marriage” for devout Catholics. My suspicion, since I have a sister who is married to a Lutheran, is that your wife, while Catholic, may not be the type of person who is always studying her faith. She may be believing modern stuff about the LGBT community. Alternatively, she may be very devout, hoping and praying everyday that you become a faithful Catholic.
 
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Some Protestants aren’t trying to get to heaven because they believe heaven is assured for them as soon as they take the Lord on as their personal Saviour. You can read about this type of presumption in the obituaries all the time; so-and-so went to heaven to be with his maker.
Sure…but I also know of some Catholics who would say the exact same thing in an obit too. It’s a way of saying someone passed away. We lost my father-in-law really suddenly this summer. His obit wasn’t going to say "well…we don’t know when his last confession was…so where he is now so your guess is as good as mine. We say that he’s back farming in heaven with his Dad.
 
unless we know the real inner workings of your marriage, we have to take it on faith that it represents a good mixed marriage to our OP.
And I’d say without having personal knowledge of the OPs relationship, I wouldn’t take it as good faith to tell him to throw his relationship away just because she’s a non-Catholic Christian…which many do here. 🤷‍♂️
 
It violates God’s Law and you can’t be Christian and be gay.
This is not what the Church teaches. CCC is clear, it is not a sin to be gay. It is sinful for any of us, homosexual, bisexual, heterosexual, to have sexual relations with anyone outside of a valid marriage.

From the CCC:

2358 The number of men and women who have deep-seated homosexual tendencies is not negligible. This inclination, which is objectively disordered, constitutes for most of them a trial. They must be accepted with respect, compassion, and sensitivity. Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided. These persons are called to fulfill God’s will in their lives and, if they are Christians, to unite to the sacrifice of the Lord’s Cross the difficulties they may encounter from their condition.

[2359] Homosexual persons are called to chastity. By the virtues of self-mastery that teach them inner freedom, at times by the support of disinterested friendship, by prayer and sacramental grace, they can and should gradually and resolutely approach Christian perfection.
 
@TheLittleLady, you’re right. I had misspoken to her.

The very next day, when I made up with her and apologized for being uncharitable; I told her that the Church teaches that gay people aren’t bad, they’re creatures of God like anybody else; only engaging in gay acts is the sin.

I also made a promise to her to love her better.
 
@amap27

It would help to know the denomination to which your girlfriend belongs. If hers is one that’s decidedly anti-Catholic, even from the pulpit, save yourself a lot of grief and hang it up now.

As for RCIA taking a lot of time, as hinted at by one poster, that’s minuscule compared to a lifetime of marriage, and, taking time for RCIA (or something similar) will enhance your pre-Cana classes—-or, perhaps, eliminate the possibility of marriage.

I’m sorry that a portion of your thread was hijacked, so to speak.

You and your girlfriend are in my prayers. 😇
 
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