I'm still breastfeeding my 2.5 year old - getting negative remarks

[EasterJoy]

I taught my kids the proper names for body parts for safety reasons. First, a friend of mine’s child at age 3 was molested by her father(divorced) but since the child was only 3 and the term her mother taught her to use was “who ha” they were unable to prosecute and unable to prevent visitation since it had only been touching and no penetration. The prosecutor told her if her daughter had been able to correctly identify her body parts, it may have been different.

Secondly, it is proven that pedophiles outside the family choose children who do not use proper names or talk about body parts. Various reasons why. So even though I had to live though the embarrassing toddler talking at the top of his voice about his penis in Church, I would do the same again.

Nursing wasn’t a safety issue and I much prefer NOT naming body parts there! Lol

Sorry, I’m not saying you ought not teach your kids to be able to name all their body parts! I meant that when we teach kids what to say, we need to be ready for them to say it at any time, to anyone.

If strangers are bothered because a little kid is asking the kinds of questions I cited…well, whatever. One ought to be able to guess why the child is doing that.

My point is that when it comes to activities that you would want a child to talk about in a more discrete way, you ought to give them a discrete way to say it, and make that the way you talk about it in a routine way. It’s just like table manners. You can’t have home habits and restaurant habits. Teach your child to act, eat and talk at home meals the way you want them to act, eat, and talk at restaurants, because that is what you’ll get. It is not fair to change the rules on a 2 year old. They’ll do what they usually do.

Let’s face it, if we’re going to be direct, a 2 year-old can say breastfeed. If the child is going to use a direct term, use the direct term that you yourself use. Who cares that it comes out bwest feed? The kid has a little bwother (now competing for the breastfeeding time), and somehow everybody knows who he means. But if you want something else, don’t go down the road of “boobies”. It’s just something the child has to un-learn later.

 

[vsedriver]

I commend you for breastfeeding. The average age of breastfeeding around the world is to breastfeed until the age of 4. I think people are grossed out because they are uncomfortable.

I think the average age of 4 is due to the lack of proper nutrition throughout most of the world. In a food rich society it isn’t necessary to breastfeed once a child can eat solid food and drink from a cup. A child who breastfeeds once or twice a day isn’t getting any real value from the breast milk.

What’s acceptable in one culture might be scandalous in another. So it should be no surprise when people react negatively to something that is considered odd in their culture.

 

[Serap]

I think the average age of 4 is due to the lack of proper nutrition throughout most of the world. In a food rich society it isn’t necessary to breastfeed once a child can eat solid food and drink from a cup. A child who breastfeeds once or twice a day isn’t getting any real value from the breast milk.

What’s acceptable in one culture might be scandalous in another. So it should be no surprise when people react negatively to something that is considered odd in their culture.

Dr. Sears would disagree. Extending breasfeeding is highly for psychological reasons for a child. They are learning about their world and yet, still have the comfort of the breast. They can slowly go from being a baby to being a pre-schooler on their own time.

It has been highly speculated that children who are securely attached to mom (extended breastfeeding can be a big component of this), become more independent and self-assured.

I remember when my son got his 18 month immunization while breastfeeding. He didn’t cry he just whimpered and sucked really hard. The doctor smiled and said, “There’s nothing more beautiful and calming on a toddler than breastfeeding.” She then cradled his head and said, “You’re a lucky boy!”

Extended breastfeeding is a very healthy way of mom connecting with her small child. It’s not the be all end all, but it’s definitely beneficial to the child.

I also want to stress that a healthy attachment is not dependent on breastfeeding, but it’s definitely a great way to enforce it.

 

[EasterJoy]

Dr. Sears would disagree. Extending breasfeeding is highly for psychological reasons for a child. They are learning about their world and yet, still have the comfort of the breast. They can slowly go from being a baby to being a pre-schooler on their own time.

It has been highly speculated that children who are securely attached to mom (extended breastfeeding can be a big component of this), become more independent and self-assured.

I remember when my son got his 18 month immunization while breastfeeding. He didn’t cry he just whimpered and sucked really hard. The doctor smiled and said, “There’s nothing more beautiful and calming on a toddler than breastfeeding.” She then cradled his head and said, “You’re a lucky boy!”

Extended breastfeeding is a very healthy way of mom connecting with her small child. It’s not the be all end all, but it’s definitely beneficial to the child.

I also want to stress that a healthy attachment is not dependent on breastfeeding, but it’s definitely a great way to enforce it.

I can see it as a part of a whole, as not damaging, but I wouldn’t oversell the psychological benefits for the child that come from that one thing. My grandfather’s generation was breastfed until they were four, and I wouldn’t say they were any great shakes over the next generation in the emotions department. In terms of nutrition, having a large family that required year after year of childbearing and breastfeeding was a reason that women lost their teeth prematurely. These days, however, women have no problem getting a diet high in calcium, protein, and other nutrients (not to mention sufficient calories!) if they take the trouble to get it.

Due to recurrent mastitis and lack of milk on my part, my kids had to be weaned (or, rather, changed over to a substitute for breastfeeding) before they were 3 months old. In my greatgrandmother’s time, who knows, they might have died. One of my greatgrandmother’s twins did. Meanwhile, my kids didn’t cry when they were immunized. The most common comment we got was what happy babies they were. So it isn’t the end of the world if breastfeeding can’t go on so long. There are other ways to for a mother to bond with her infant, too. (Which is darn fortunate for Dad, who does not have that as a parenting option.) Still, while a child can get enough nutrition without breastfeeding until four, while a child can be well-adjusted without breastfeeding until four, that doesn’t mean that a mother who wants to breastfeed every bit as long as women ever have ought not do that. Breastfeeding until four has been the norm over history. If the mother’s body and nutritional status is up to it, it certainly does no harm.

 

[Serap]

I can see it as a part of a whole, as not damaging, but I wouldn’t oversell the psychological benefits for the child that come from that one thing. My grandfather’s generation was breastfed until they were four, and I wouldn’t say they were any great shakes over the next generation in the emotions department. In terms of nutrition, having a large family that required year after year of childbearing and breastfeeding was a reason that women lost their teeth prematurely. These days, however, women have no problem getting a diet high in calcium, protein, and other nutrients (not to mention sufficient calories!) if they take the trouble to get it.

Due to recurrent mastitis and lack of milk on my part, my kids had to be weaned (or, rather, changed over to a substitute for breastfeeding) before they were 3 months old. In my greatgrandmother’s time, who knows, they might have died. One of my greatgrandmother’s twins did. Meanwhile, my kids didn’t cry when they were immunized. The most common comment we got was what happy babies they were. So it isn’t the end of the world if breastfeeding can’t go on so long. There are other ways to for a mother to bond with her infant, too. (Which is darn fortunate for Dad, who does not have that as a parenting option.) Still, while a child can get enough nutrition without breastfeeding until four, while a child can be well-adjusted without breastfeeding until four, that doesn’t mean that a mother who wants to breastfeed every bit as long as women ever have ought not do that. Breastfeeding until four has been the norm over history. If the mother’s body and nutritional status is up to it, it certainly does no harm.

yes and this is why I stressed that breastfeeding is one component of a securely attached child. I tried to word carefully in my post to avoid any defensive responses, but perhaps I didn’t word it correctly.

My SIL never breastfed and her baby (6 months) is securely attached and a very happy baby.

 

[EasterJoy]

yes and this is why I stressed that breastfeeding is one component of a securely attached child. I tried to word carefully in my post to avoid any defensive responses, but perhaps I didn’t word it correctly.

My SIL never breastfed and her baby (6 months) is securely attached and a very happy baby.

It would be nice if people would just mind their own business about it, though. Sometimes a mother does not breastfeed for reasons totally beyond her control, and sometimes a mother is doing nothing her greatgrandmother did not do. Finding a very good way to raise your child and saying why you are happy with it or why you did it is too often taken as a blanket condemnation of everyone in similar circumstances who chose something different.

There is more than one way to Rome. My road is not a condemnation of your road, nor is yours a condemnation of mine. It’s just, well, an actual road, a good road that deserves to be made known. It’s not an insult to show where it runs on the map, and why you’d take it all over again.

 

[Luna_Lovecraft]

I taught my kids the proper names for body parts for safety reasons. First, a friend of mine’s child at age 3 was molested by her father(divorced) but since the child was only 3 and the term her mother taught her to use was “who ha” they were unable to prosecute and unable to prevent visitation since it had only been touching and no penetration. The prosecutor told her if her daughter had been able to correctly identify her body parts, it may have been different.

Secondly, it is proven that pedophiles outside the family choose children who do not use proper names or talk about body parts. Various reasons why. So even though I had to live though the embarrassing toddler talking at the top of his voice about his penis in Church, I would do the same again.

Nursing wasn’t a safety issue and I much prefer NOT naming body parts there! Lol

Exactly. When my stepdaughters were small, around three or so, they could call their vulva, labia, and vagina by name. We needed to know that they could accurately report someone touching them inappropriately. We also taught them the accurate names for male genitalia for the same reason.

Yeah, we had to endure them dropping “vulva” and “penis” into their conversations when we were in public, but then they also went through a phase where they would announce other people’s ethnicity when they were out and about, as in “Look Luna, he’s black and she’s Asian!” as we were making our way down the grocery store isle. But you know what? People who are offended by the words or behavior of small children, who are learning, who have no concept of social mores, can deal. And if they can’t deal, if they’re going to get bent out of shape because a toddler touched them or asked them if they have a penis (another favorite of the girls when they were tiny), they should get help.

You and I appear to see “eye to eye”. My kids also call their body parts by name.

My daughter was 2 and we were out of diapers and we were leaving her swimming class. She was wearing a dress, so for modesty sake, I had my hand over her vagina as I was carrying her.

She yelled out, “MY VAGINA!!!”

I thought, “Good for her.” I wasn’t embarrassed by it either. She now knows (at age 4) not to say those things in public like that. They learn as they get a bit older. 2 is still very much a baby phase.

Not to belabor the point, but you actually had your hand over your daughter’s vulva. The vagina, which is the term widely but incorrectly used to refer to all of the female genitalia, is actually only the canal bit.

 

[rotlex]

Interesting thread. Love reading opinions, and experiences with extended nursing.

For reference, I’m the husband, I think it’s great. You are not alone either. My wife nursed our daughter till she was nearly 4, and our son, 3 1/2, is still evening nursing. To all those you read about, and I know a few, that say this causes issues, I can only say our daughter is perhaps the most independent, outgoing, “normal” 9 year old I’ve ever come across. No mommy issues at all, and in fact, it’s the opposite in many cases. She has ZERO issues doing overnight camping trips, sleep overs, whatever. Our son appears headed in the same direction.

 

[Serap]

Interesting thread. Love reading opinions, and experiences with extended nursing.

For reference, I’m the husband, I think it’s great. You are not alone either. My wife nursed our daughter till she was nearly 4, and our son, 3 1/2, is still evening nursing. To all those you read about, and I know a few, that say this causes issues, I can only say our daughter is perhaps the most independent, outgoing, “normal” 9 year old I’ve ever come across. No mommy issues at all, and in fact, it’s the opposite in many cases. She has ZERO issues doing overnight camping trips, sleep overs, whatever. Our son appears headed in the same direction.

In your opinion, as a husband, do you think it’s disrespectful that my husband calls it “boobie” to my 2 year old?

I personally don’t see the connection, but wondering what your thoughts are…thanks

 

[Havard]

In your opinion, as a husband, do you think it’s disrespectful that my husband calls it “boobie” to my 2 year old?

I personally don’t see the connection, but wondering what your thoughts are…thanks

I know your question was directed at another, but I would not feel like a gentleman respecting a lady if I used that word.

 

[ILoveRoses]

I taught my kids the proper names for body parts for safety reasons. First, a friend of mine’s child at age 3 was molested by her father(divorced) but since the child was only 3 and the term her mother taught her to use was “who ha” they were unable to prosecute and unable to prevent visitation since it had only been touching and no penetration. The prosecutor told her if her daughter had been able to correctly identify her body parts, it may have been different.

Secondly, it is proven that pedophiles outside the family choose children who do not use proper names or talk about body parts. Various reasons why. So even though I had to live though the embarrassing toddler talking at the top of his voice about his penis in Church, I would do the same again.

Nursing wasn’t a safety issue and I much prefer NOT naming body parts there! Lol

This is totally true. Pedophiles will back off of children who know the proper terminology, because they realize that the parents are not afraid to talk to their children about it and that the parents have been open and honest, helping that child to feel comfortable in going to their parents if something happens to them. Pedophiles zero in on the kids who use the funny terms, like who ha, or pee pee etc. because that is more likely a situation of parents who are embarrassed and afraid to talk about those things, leading the children to feel embarrassed and afraid to tell their parents if something happens to them.

Serap, you and I have had friendly chats before so don’t take offense, but when your son is a teenager wearing those “I heart boobies” bracelets or t-shirts around, will you have a problem with that? Will the term be sexually related at that point, or innocent for breast cancer? If he says boobie now, will he be allowed to always say that in public no matter his age, or will you try to re-teach him the term in the future? That will probably help you figure out whether you agree with that term now, after everybody voiced their opinion on it and are accusing your husband of disrespecting you. I imagine this brought up something you certainly didn’t intend when you started this post! LOL

 

[rotlex]

In your opinion, as a husband, do you think it’s disrespectful that my husband calls it “boobie” to my 2 year old?

I personally don’t see the connection, but wondering what your thoughts are…thanks

Mmm, tough one maybe? I don’t think it is disrespectful, but, with that said, I wouldn’t use that term myself. Our son calls them “nurses”, and I well, I guess I don’t really call them anything. It’s very cute when he says it, and always gives my wife and I a chuckle, but I leave it between them.

 

[cmscms]

If my son were sitting on your lap and he touched your breast and said, “boobie”. I would tell him not to do that and that it is your private place. He would then stop touching you and if he didn’t, I would take him off our lap and firmly say, “That is xxx’s private place. You sit with mommy now. Say sorry to xxx.”

It’s all a learning process for a 2 year old. The word “discipline” means “to teach”. That is my approach.

And that is the BIG difference between you and the other kids mom. I would appreciate you taking my feelings seriously.

 

[MariaG]

And that is the BIG difference between you and the other kids mom. I would appreciate you taking my feelings seriously.

If you notice I actually never responded to you again.

Let me just say this, clearly if you are slapping a child you are NOT giving a parent a chance to do anything to teach the child anything, you are simplyy acting out against a toddler and hitting them. That is why I told you what YOUR response should have been.

If as a parent I were to notice or it were brought to my attention before the adult involved choose to strike my child I certainly would use it to teach my child about personal boundaries. I certainly would apologize as well for any embarrassment that caused you.

Seriously, if you have children, grandchildren or are around then you need to educate yourself on child development stages instead of smacking children for age appropriate behavior.

So no, absolutely no difference in our responses IF a problem were brought to my attention. Again, my response was given was since you clearly choose not to allow a parent to correct their own child but choose to hit them instead.

 

[Serap]

This is totally true. Pedophiles will back off of children who know the proper terminology, because they realize that the parents are not afraid to talk to their children about it and that the parents have been open and honest, helping that child to feel comfortable in going to their parents if something happens to them. Pedophiles zero in on the kids who use the funny terms, like who ha, or pee pee etc. because that is more likely a situation of parents who are embarrassed and afraid to talk about those things, leading the children to feel embarrassed and afraid to tell their parents if something happens to them.

Serap, you and I have had friendly chats before so don’t take offense, but when your son is a teenager wearing those “I heart boobies” bracelets or t-shirts around, will you have a problem with that? Will the term be sexually related at that point, or innocent for breast cancer? If he says boobie now, will he be allowed to always say that in public no matter his age, or will you try to re-teach him the term in the future? That will probably help you figure out whether you agree with that term now, after everybody voiced their opinion on it and are accusing your husband of disrespecting you. I imagine this brought up something you certainly didn’t intend when you started this post! LOL

you read my mind honey

 

[Serap]

Mmm, tough one maybe? I don’t think it is disrespectful, but, with that said, I wouldn’t use that term myself. Our son calls them “nurses”, and I well, I guess I don’t really call them anything. It’s very cute when he says it, and always gives my wife and I a chuckle, but I leave it between them.

Maybe my husband and I are just…well…wierd LOL.

I can always begin calling them a different word now as he’s only 2.5. He’ll catch on.

 

[Serap]

And that is the BIG difference between you and the other kids mom. I would appreciate you taking my feelings seriously.

thank you. I try to respect everyone’s differences. We all deserve respect and dignity.

 

[Jennifer_J]

To those who think that breastfeeding a toddler is ONLY for emotional needs and not nutritional or health…you are wrong.
kellymom.com/ages/older-infant/ebf-benefits/

 

[Serap]

If you notice I actually never responded to you again.

Let me just say this, clearly if you are slapping a child you are NOT giving a parent a chance to do anything to teach the child anything, you are simplyy acting out against a toddler and hitting them. That is why I told you what YOUR response should have been.

If as a parent I were to notice or it were brought to my attention before the adult involved choose to strike my child I certainly would use it to teach my child about personal boundaries. I certainly would apologize as well for any embarrassment that caused you.

Seriously, if you have children, grandchildren or are around then you need to educate yourself on child development stages instead of smacking children for age appropriate behavior.

So no, absolutely no difference in our responses IF a problem were brought to my attention. Again, my response was given was since you clearly choose not to allow a parent to correct their own child but choose to hit them instead.

Maria, you and cmscms are both kind people. I think that perhaps written communication sometimes is difficult and can majorly suck.

I highly doubt cmscms would actually slap your child if you were all over the situation and apologetic for your child’s lack of boundaries

Here’s to good mommies despite our differences!

 

[Serap]

To those who think that breastfeeding a toddler is ONLY for emotional needs and not nutritional or health…you are wrong.
kellymom.com/ages/older-infant/ebf-benefits/

thanks Jen