The following is NOT serious, but I can’t resist. We need some humor is this dark place do we not? Please don’t ban me!! I’m just trying to lighten the mood around here.
https://manboobz.files.wordpress.com/2015/07/snake.png?w=600&h=351
Hey folks! Step right up, got some “good news” for ya! Come on, gather round now! That’s right folks, listen up, you have a one time opportunity right here to solve a very terrible problem you have. That’s right folks, you all have a tremendously serious problem and you
don’t even know it.
audience gasps, exchanges looks of shock and surprise
That’s right, now listen carefully: God created you sick, commands you to be healthy, but it’s impossible for you to get healthy on your own, and he will torture you forever if you stay sick!
woman in audience faints, audience murmurs
Now wait folks, don’t worry! I’ve got good news. I’ve got just the solution for ya, that’s right. For the low low price of your dignity, integrity, and your children’s freedom I will give you the cure for this horrible problem. All you have to do is outsource your conscience to me, give me money for your whole life, and do whatever I say and you’ll be right as rain.
*Boy in audience: “But sir, I don’t feel sick!”
Oh son, you don’t know how ill you are. Why, you’re so ill, you can’t even tell that you’re ill. :nope: Oh my good boy, how very afraid you should be. Endless torment is waiting for you son! :bigyikes: But, the good news is: all’s ya have ta do is just hand over your dignity and your reason, and I’ll give you the cure. Come on now, step up, step up!
*Boy in audience goes to stage, receives cure: "Gee mister, I don’t really feel much different now. Why’s that?
Oh silly boy, the cure only diminishes the risk of endless punishment, that’s all. You can’t expect it to solve all your problems now can you? You’ll still have all the symptoms of the illness, and if you don’t do exactly what I say, believe every word that comes out of my mouth, or give me money for the rest of your life, the cure will stop working!

But don’t worry: you can always come back and get some more cure anytime you want so long as you pay up!
Boy, bewildered, slouches away from the stage back to the audience
Alright, who’s next now?? Step up, step up! Get ya good news here, fresh good news!