Kissing on the lips during the sign of peace

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VivienneJ said:
It is a liturgical sign and is also affected by the culture in which the particular church is situated. By marriage I am part of a kiss-on-both-cheeks-to-greet culture - it is something we do, even if we have just met the particular member of the large, extended family for the first time; this extend to my friends, although I have to remember that most of them come from a kiss-on-one-cheek culture. In church, which we attend as a family, often filling two pews, we follow the norm of the church in our country and shake hands, none of us would dream of using any other gesture.

My concern for HoneyBea is that she is in a very different country, culturally. In the church I attend during most of the year, the sign of peace is to put your hands together, as in prayer, and bow - it would be a shocking action (even for husband and wife) to exchange the sign of peace any other way here. I understand that there are other parts of the world where the sign is open to interpretation, but when going to a new country it is most important to abide by the norms of that culture, regardless of what your cultural norm is. The accepted gesture, as we find in Arabia, may well be influenced by the culture of the country.
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I agree in some cultures a kiss of peace may be too shocking, but that is not the case in my church.
 
VivienneJ said:
It is a liturgical sign and is also affected by the culture in which the particular church is situated. By marriage I am part of a kiss-on-both-cheeks-to-greet culture - it is something we do, even if we have just met the particular member of the large, extended family for the first time; this extend to my friends, although I have to remember that most of them come from a kiss-on-one-cheek culture. In church, which we attend as a family, often filling two pews, we follow the norm of the church in our country and shake hands, none of us would dream of using any other gesture.

My concern for HoneyBea is that she is in a very different country, culturally. In the church I attend during most of the year, the sign of peace is to put your hands together, as in prayer, and bow - it would be a shocking action (even for husband and wife) to exchange the sign of peace any other way here. I understand that there are other parts of the world where the sign is open to interpretation, but when going to a new country it is most important to abide by the norms of that culture, regardless of what your cultural norm is. The accepted gesture, as we find in Arabia, may well be influenced by the culture of the country.
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The church in your country has done what was expected of it and set the norm for the sign of peace to be shaking hands. I agree with you that when you are in a new country that you should do as they do. This is quite important. And our country is different from Middle Eastern countries. As far as setting the norm for the sign of peace, our bishops have not yet done so… So whether we like it or not, there are several ways that people may give a sign of peace. Even if one chooses to shake hands there will eventually be times when they encounter someone who bows. It is good that people are informed that giving the sign of peace is a liturgical rite and not a time out for meet and greet and so on. But until the time comes when our bishops decide what sign should be given, we are free to decide for ourselves what sign to give as long as it is done in a sober manner.
 
If a bride and groom, once man and wife, can kiss at the altar following their marriage ceremony right in front of God and the entire congregation, I can’t imagine the Almighty would be displeased to see them expressing their love again before Him in His house during the sharing of the sign of peace. What says peace better than an expression of true love? Certainly the father who kisses his daughter as he steps back and watches his daughter take the hand of her spouse to be is a sign of great love. Simply, we must maintain a respectful manner to show our love in God’s house. We we share expressions of love we are mirroring what God gives to us.
 
I found the linked articles to Michelle Arnold and the previous threads very thought provoking and humbling…we’ve always been more affectionate as family members and I have noticed single Individuals…no clue what their status was seem intimidated…there was also a woman at our old parish in double arm casts who always shook with her husband and then me the girls and my husband in the order we sat…but would look wistfully on…it never occurred to me that we offer that sign of the peace as equal members of the church with equal duties to love honor and respect everyone to the best of our ability and how we shortchange ourselves when we treat our family members differently at Mass. That the sign of peace truly is an opportunity to bring us closer to the the church…it’s people…with my full participation just like I need to fully participate in the Eucharist to appreciate the gift of Christ.

Thanks for the thought provoking thread…the laughs and insight
 
RoseMary131 said:
Yes, hugging (in my culture) means:
“I’m happy to see you.”
“Good-bye”.
“Great game.”
“Great job.”
“Thanks for inviting me over.”
“Peace of Christ to you” at Mass

Hugging strangers - meaning someone passing on the street - is out.

Being introduced to a friend’s friend may mean giving the friend’s friend a hug when you say “good-bye”.

A hug can mean “welcome to our circle of friends”.

My son is living in a very primitive setting in the jungle in South America made up of people from various countries - mostly from the US. He is the “official greeter /hugger” when someone comes into their valley. “Welcome. You are among friends” is what the hug means.

If you were in my home, I would “read” you to see if you might welcome a hug. If I notice I thought you might not want a hug I would do two things 1) not hug you or 2) ask if I can give you a hug.

At the Sign of Peace in Mass, I would shake your hand. If someone hugged me, I would hug them back.

(I would also be aware of any “gut feeling” that told me to be caution and not to hug someone even in Mass or any place. Those feelings are not cultural. They are instinct and sometimes our guardian angel protecting us. )
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As I wrote before, in my USA diocese, full frontal hugs are considered a sexual boundary violation and as such should never be shared in public between anyone but perhaps husband and wife.
 
Elizium23 said:
As I wrote before, in my USA diocese, full frontal hugs are considered a sexual boundary violation and as such should never be shared in public between anyone but perhaps husband and wife.
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:hug1: This is a hug where I live; a little to the side.
 
JMarquez said:
If a bride and groom, once man and wife, can kiss at the altar following their marriage ceremony right in front of God and the entire congregation, I can’t imagine the Almighty would be displeased to see them expressing their love again before Him in His house during the sharing of the sign of peace. What says peace better than an expression of true love? Certainly the father who kisses his daughter as he steps back and watches his daughter take the hand of her spouse to be is a sign of great love. Simply, we must maintain a respectful manner to show our love in God’s house. We we share expressions of love we are mirroring what God gives to us.
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Since there is no kiss in the Catholic Rite of Marriage, many priests don’t allow it the couple to kiss. It certainly wasn’t allowed in my parish when we got married.
 
Phemie said:
Since there is no kiss in the Catholic Rite of Marriage, many priests don’t allow it the couple to kiss. It certainly wasn’t allowed in my parish when we got married.
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I’ve been at quite a few Catholic weddings where no kiss was exchanged. I believe the Royal Weddings didn’t include any kisses at the altar. And those were Anglican ceremonies with a billion or two viewers.

abclocal.go.com/kabc/story?id=8091255
LONDON (KABC) – Royal wedding watchers hoping to see Prince William kiss his bride at the altar will be disappointed on the big day.
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The prince and Kate Middleton will not even share a peck during their ceremony on Friday.
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That’s because the Church of England expressly forbids such behavior in holy sites like Westminster Abbey.
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When Princess Diana and Prince Charles got married, they also waited until their balcony appearance to share a kiss.
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Phemie said:
Since there is no kiss in the Catholic Rite of Marriage, many priests don’t allow it the couple to kiss. It certainly wasn’t allowed in my parish when we got married.
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While it is not part of the Rite, all the Catholic weddings I have attended (including our wedding) had a kiss. :flowers:
 
Are we mistaking affection with peace? Loving our enemies has nothing to do with affection and everything to do with peace. Just wondering.
 
LROH said:
Are we mistaking affection with peace? Loving our enemies has nothing to do with affection and everything to do with peace. Just wondering.
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No, we are mistaking fact with opinions.
 
Phemie said:
Since there is no kiss in the Catholic Rite of Marriage, many priests don’t allow it the couple to kiss. It certainly wasn’t allowed in my parish when we got married.
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Mmmmm…My spouse and I kissed at our marriage 43 years ago officiated at that time by a Monsignor. There were no restrictions mentioned prior to the marriage in the premarital meeting with the pastor. Two years ago our niece married in our local parish where we have been members for 30 years and there was no restrictions mentioned by the Monsignor nor the presiding priest for her wedding. In fact their was celebratory cheers and applauding.

Do not condemn the kiss as it has been a sign of deep respect on occasion.
See 1 Corinthians 16:20 Certainly you have heard the expression “sealed with a kiss” What better way to “seal” a marriage. Of course, this is just my opinion but I like to think sometimes I get a little help with my answers.
 
JMarquez said:
Mmmmm…My spouse and I kissed at our marriage 43 years ago officiated at that time by a Monsignor. There were no restrictions mentioned prior to the marriage in the premarital meeting with the pastor. Two years ago our niece married in our local parish where we have been members for 30 years and there was no restrictions mentioned by the Monsignor nor the presiding priest for her wedding. In fact their was celebratory cheers and applauding.

Do not condemn the kiss as it has been a sign of deep respect on occasion.
See 1 Corinthians 16:20 Certainly you have heard the expression “sealed with a kiss” What better way to “seal” a marriage. Of course, this is just my opinion but I like to think sometimes I get a little help with my answers.
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I guess some priests have had the experience that Miss Manners felt compelled to address when she wrote a column, several years ago, about dos and don’ts of Church weddings. Re the ‘wedding kiss’: “When the minister says “You may now kiss the bride,” the assembly should not be made to fear that consummation of the marriage will occur then and there.”
 
Now were justifying kissing during the sign of peace during the Mass with reference to the Rite of Marriage? How is this relevant?
 
Elizium23 said:
As I wrote before, in my USA diocese, full frontal hugs are considered a sexual boundary violation and as such should never be shared in public between anyone but perhaps husband and wife.
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😦 No full frontal hugs between anyone, except for husband and wife, anywhere? Not even between friends? Or with kids? That’s a sad statement. We’ve really come to that point, where a hug is a sexual boundary violation and “should never be shared in public”…? :(😦 Sheesh.
 
Phemie said:
Since there is no kiss in the Catholic Rite of Marriage, many priests don’t allow it the couple to kiss. It certainly wasn’t allowed in my parish when we got married.
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Really? In Canada?

I’ve never seen a Catholic wedding where the couple do not kiss.

God Bless
 
bilop said:
Really? In Canada?

I’ve never seen a Catholic wedding where the couple do not kiss.

God Bless
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Whether they kiss or not, it certainly seems to draw attention, no? I think that’s the point.
 
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