Men - how do you feel about your wife seeing a male physician?

[EmBee]

You should definitely read the entire thread, including the student doctors link, which may seriously change your perspective about male doctors. Even though there might be a female nurse in the room with you, 1.) it still doesn’t make it proper, 2.) the nurse is not there to protect your interest. Also, not all chaperones are viewing the exam from the “foot end” of things, nor are running a “stop watch” to see how long the exam took. Wise up!

I don’t think I need to change my perspective on my doctor because you aren’t comfortable with male gynecologists. And I don’t appreciate the “wise up” remark.

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[EmBee]

Your taking it too far now, and you know it! Being legitimately raped vs. knowingly and electively submitting to a male gyn exam when it could be avoided are totally different.

So, if I knowlingly and electively submit myself to a female gyn exam and am taken advantage of, am I still to blame?

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[Homers]

I don’t think I need to change my perspective on my doctor because you aren’t comfortable with male gynecologists. And I don’t appreciate the “wise up” remark.

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Well it seemed very applicable to you. If you submit yourself to non-emergent male gyn exams, then you really do need to “wise-up”.

 

[Marsha_Adams]

Hmmm…What, a law suit after the fact of being violated? It still doesn’t erase what happened. Then what do you say to your husband, sorry, I shouldn’t have ever seen him. Money from a law suit does not repair a broken heart, feelings, or a marriage.

Why does the husband get an apology? “I’m sorry, husband, your property was abused because I was foolish enough to see a male doctor?” That makes it sound as if the victim wife is to blame.

Why would the marriage need repairing? If she was raped on the way home from Wednesday night prayer meeting, would the marriage need repairing?

 

[Homers]

So, if I knowlingly and electively submit myself to a female gyn exam and am taken advantage of, am I still to blame?

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I would say no. However, I have never really heard of any female doctors taking liberties with a patient. Also, what is your definition of being taken advantage of? Other women simply do not have the “parts” that men do. Malpractice is malpractice, and taking advantage of a patient is another…

 

[LJN21]

Your taking it too far now, and you know it! Being legitimately raped vs. knowingly and electively submitting to a male gyn exam when it could be avoided are totally different.

What do you call it when an OB/GYN misbehaves? Either its a moral practice or its not. You can’t have it both ways. No its not exactly the same as rape that is why there is the term “rape by instrumentation”. This IS what you are accusing every male OB/GYN out there of and claiming its the woman’s fault for submitting too.

 

[Homers]

Why does the husband get an apology? “I’m sorry, husband, your property was abused because I was foolish enough to see a male doctor?” That makes it sound as if the victim wife is to blame.

Why would the marriage need repairing? If she was raped on the way home from Wednesday night prayer meeting, would the marriage need repairing?

Rape vs. assuming the risk of a male doctor is totally different!!!

 

[EmBee]

Well it seemed very applicable to you. If you submit yourself to non-emergent male gyn exams, then you really do need to “wise-up”.

Lucky for me I’m not visiting some random male doctor - I have regular check-ups at a well known facility by Dr. I know very well and researched before scheduling my first exam. I took offense to your comment because you seem to be implying that you know more about my doctor than I do. You seem to have a personal issue with male doctors in general and you are encouraging me to develop a similar bias. I am happy with my doctor, I feel safe and well taken care of. I appreciate your concern for my well being, but I believe it’s misplaced.

I would say no. However, I have never really heard of any female doctors taking liberties with a patient. Also, what is your definition of being taken advantage of? Other women simply do not have the “parts” that men do. Malpractice is malpractice, and taking advantage of a patient is another…

Being taken advantage of is not limited to rape, it could include touching in the wrong places, objects, etc. My feeling violated could include a variety of bad practices performed by someone with whom I am trusting my body. Regardless, a victim is never to blame for being abused. The fact that you are deciding whether a woman should apologize to her husband after being abused based on what you have or have not heard is simply wrong.

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[LJN21]

I would say no. However, I have never really heard of any female doctors taking liberties with a patient. Also, what is your definition of being taken advantage of? Other women simply do not have the “parts” that men do. Malpractice is malpractice, and taking advantage of a patient is another…

No it is MALPRACTICE!

 

[Marsha_Adams]

Rape vs. assuming the risk of a male doctor is totally different!!!

Rape is rape, whether it is by a stranger in an alley, by a doctor in an office, by a pastor giving counsel, by a woman with an instrument, or by a husband in the marriage bed.

Do you forbid your wife to be alone in a room with male clergy? If not, why not?

 

[Katie1723]

Well it seemed very applicable to you. If you submit yourself to non-emergent male gyn exams, then you really do need to “wise-up”.

Inappropriate actions can happen no matter the sex of the physician. Homers, I think it is you who should wise up. I am beginning to wonder about your incessant need to point fingers at those of us who you seem to think are incapable of deciding for ourselves who we should see when we need a physician. And I don’t believe you answered my question: did something happen to you once, or perhaps someone you care about? Or maybe you take pleasure in showing your ineptitude in handling a professional relationship.

Kathy

 

[stbruno]

Our doctor has a female nurse present during any vaginal exams. There is nothing wrong with asking for a nurse to be present. In fact, it is encouraged.

The doctor’s I work with have never acted unprofessionally or put the best interests of themselves before their patients. Sad if this ever occurs and it would be considered malpractice.

 

[Homers]

Inappropriate actions can happen no matter the sex of the physician. Homers, I think it is you who should wise up. I am beginning to wonder about your incessant need to point fingers at those of us who you seem to think are incapable of deciding for ourselves we should see when we need a physician. And I don’t believe you answered my question: did something happen to you once, or perhaps someone you care about? Or maybe you take pleasure in showing your ineptitude in handling a professional relationship.

Kathy

Kathy…Thanks for your question. Sure, there are reasons for feeling the way I do, but I am sure we all have our reasons. But, it seems that your missing my fundamental point that why would any women even put herself in a position to be violated. Sure, inappropriate actions can occur by any physician. But I would submit that the odds of something occurring with a female doctor is less.

 

[Katie1723]

Kathy…Thanks for your question. Sure, there are reasons for feeling the way I do, but I am sure we all have our reasons. But, it seems that your missing my fundamental point that why would any women even put herself in a position to be violated. Sure, inappropriate actions can occur by any physician. But I would submit that the odds of something occurring with a female doctor is less.

It all stems on your definition of “violated”. As far as female physicians, they too are capable of “violating” a patient. Men don’t have the market cornered on that.

Kathy

 

[Homers]

Rape is rape, whether it is by a stranger in an alley, by a doctor in an office, by a pastor giving counsel, by a woman with an instrument, or by a husband in the marriage bed.

Do you forbid your wife to be alone in a room with male clergy? If not, why not?

Being alone in a room with male clergy, vs. submitting to a male gyn exam are totally different.

 

[Homers]

It all stems on your definition of “violated”. As far as female physicians, they too are capable of “violating” a patient. Men don’t have the market cornered on that.

Kathy

Like I’ve said, I personally have never heard of it, but sure, it may be possible. But I would also submit that it may be easier to live with the thought knowing that the female doctor doesn’t have a penis!

 

[shannyk]

Hmmm…What, a law suit after the fact of being violated? It still doesn’t erase what happened. Then what do you say to your husband, sorry, I shouldn’t have ever seen him. Money from a law suit does not repair a broken heart, feelings, or a marriage.

I would hope, that the husbands broken heart is from knowing his wife is hurting, not because he knows some other man saw her ‘private parts’. Why would the marriage be broken from something like that? I don’t understand… my hub would have been more concerned with breaking the guys neck than he would be concerned that he saw my private parts. Come to think of it, when I was pregnant there were visits when my hub was in the room during a digital vaginal exam. It’s not what you’re making it out to be.

 

[Katie1723]

Like I’ve said, I personally have never heard of it, but sure, it may be possible. But I would also submit that it may be easier to live with the thought knowing that the female doctor doesn’t have a penis!

No, but she has fingers and can wield a speculum.

Kathy

 

[msugeotech]

It is obvious to me that Homers cannot, and will not change his mind on this topic. Yet you still try.

Why?

 

[LJN21]

Being alone in a room with male clergy, vs. submitting to a male gyn exam are totally different.

You sure?

Statiscally, I’d be willing to bet your more likely to get raped by male clergy than your OB/GYN. Why would would a woman voluntary put them selves in that positing?