pasted on skin tight pants!

[Karin]

She was dressed like a hooker and was wrong period, had she walked into a 1st century Church they would’ve tossed her out on her ear for defiling the Lord like that.

You have it backwards, the reason why Mass attendance is low is because we’ve largely apostacized and bought into the secular ideology of “you’re O.K. I’m O.K.” like you are professing here.

It’s a fact that more orthodox Parishes are flouroushing compared to liberal parishes. And the orthodox parishes are flourishing because they havea line in the sand of what’s right and wrong, and not all this confusion you get out there.

 

[BEattitude]

yes, she came to Mass, and yes that was good. yes, she doesn’t speak english according to the guy that was with her.
i don’t understand why you think was rude when i was not rude. not by a long shot. i wasn’t even sanctimonious either.
i never reprimanded her or ridiculed her in front of anyone. iwas not uncharitable to her at all. as soon as the guy told me she does not speak english, i spoke to him, and told him the dress code, and i politely showed to her the dress code by pointing to my veil and my skirt. she got it believe me, and she laughed it off like it was a good joke. at no time was i ever rude to her at any second.

Maybe she was laughing because you embarrassed her so badly! Was she supposed to cry and thank you for pointing out that she was an odd ball? I would be embarrased no matter how wrong I was. If you thought what you did was right, then you dont need to post it and ask what you did was right. Face it, NO ONE wants to be pointed out of croud for any reason! I cant say it enough, She knew she was out of place BEFORE you said anything. I think that embarrasment was enough without anyone saying anything!

 

[deb1]

So - how many languages is this code written in by the way? Didn’t you say that she didn’t speak English?

I can’t believe how many people are totally missing the point here.

She CAME TO MASS PEOPLE! She didn’t choose to sit in front of the tv eating bon-bons and watching Jerry Springer. She chose to go to mass. Yes, she was not properly dressed, I will agree with that, but to suggest she was not welcome solely because of her attire is just pitiful and sad.

We all crab and complain about Catholic mass attendance being down, but when someone makes an effort they are so nit-picked to death about how they do it, I’m sure many never come again, and find their way into more welcoming “churches”. We are our own demise when we are so far up ourselves that we can’t see the more important part of the picture. Not that she came mis-dressed, but that she came at all.

I see the biggest offense to Christ would have been to stay at home.

~Liza

But our eagerness to get people in church does not mean that we should not address such issues as proper dress. Marilina’s church has rules and there is nothing wrong with politely enforcing those rules.

My church does not have such rules so it would be wrong for me, personally, to approach anyone who was dressed inappropriately.

As far as foreign languages, if you were in another country, you would probably not be offended if someone politely explained that your dress was considered incorrect.

I attended a Baptist church in which a lot of pressure was put on my hubby to buy a suit. That was how the church expected its members to eventually dress.

 

[Julianna]

And I believe that’s the real agenda behind all the criticism of Marilena in this thread…

and that is your opinion…that you have a right to express.

Funny though, my husband and I have been married 25, 26 yrs this June, and I have never played second fiddle to him, nor he to I.

 

[tcraig]

Is it your contention that only SSPX care about modesty?

No, certainly not. But my post was directly answering a woman who wondered if she would be turned away if she turned up at a TLM wearing slacks or with her head uncovered.

My FSSP traditional chapel also had a dress code. But it was a dress code that was more concerned about modesty than dictating what a woman could/could not wear.

SSPX chapels are the only ones that require women to wear dresses and veils as part of their “modesty” code.

 

[Marilena]

Maybe she was laughing because you embarrassed her so badly! Was she supposed to cry and thank you for pointing out that she was an odd ball? I would be embarrased no matter how wrong I was. If you thought what you did was right, then you dont need to post it and ask what you did was right. Face it, NO ONE wants to be pointed out of croud for any reason! I cant say it enough, She knew she was out of place BEFORE you said anything. I think that embarrasment was enough without anyone saying anything!

one more time, i did NOT talk to her in a crowd!! i took her aside away from people. i did not point herout in a crowd. you don’t get it. she did not know she was out of place either. that is not true. i never tried to point out she was out of place, only the dress code. she was not embarassed either, if she had been then why did she giggle when the men gawked at her?
how could she be embarassed with me politely speaking to her? how could that be more embarassing than giggling as men gawked at her? wouldn’t the shocked reactionsof the people who saw her be far more embarassing than me politely talking to her? uh, yeah.

 

[paramedicgirl]

What say I now? I still maintain that it was rude and arrogant. Regardless of what Father might say.

Sorry - rude is rude.

~Liza

I actually think your comment could be seen in the same light, sorry to say.

 

[BEattitude]

one more time, i did NOT talk to her in a crowd!! i took her aside away from people. i did not point herout in a crowd. you don’t get it. she did not know she was out of place either. that is not true. i never tried to point out she was out of place, only the dress code. she was not embarassed either, if she had been then why did she giggle when the men gawked at her?
how could she be embarassed with me politely speaking to her? how could that be more embarassing than giggling as men gawked at her? wouldn’t the shocked reactionsof the people who saw her be far more embarassing than me politely talking to her? uh, yeah.

I was only saying that YOU picked her out of a croud of people! Not that you went to a podium and told her to put on a skirt. She should be dressing appropriately, my only point is that she knew she was dressed inappropriately LONG before you said anything to her. She did not need someone to speak her language, or speak to her at all to know she was dressing inappropriately. All im sayin is this…if you want to be the enforcer instead of letting the pastor, you are doing a disservice to yourself, instead of praying and paying attention, you are worrying about other people. I think those men need a good spankin for being so naughty! Who is going to be the lust police?

 

[netmilsmom]

She knew she was out of place BEFORE you said anything. I think that embarrasment was enough without anyone saying anything!

How do you know this?

 

[fix]

I was only saying that YOU picked her out of a croud of people! Not that you went to a podium and told her to put on a skirt. She should be dressing appropriately, my only point is that she knew she was dressed inappropriately LONG before you said anything to her. She did not need someone to speak her language, or speak to her at all to know she was dressing inappropriately. All im sayin is this…if you want to be the enforcer instead of letting the pastor, you are doing a disservice to yourself, instead of praying and paying attention, you are worrying about other people. I think those men need a good spankin for being so naughty! Who is going to be the lust police?

Is gentle correction now termed being an enforcer? When did Christian charity become a vice?

 

[BEattitude]

How do you know this?

Well, hmm, was she blind, was she retarded? if so then you should not be reprimanding her in the first place. Do you need to be Catholic and Holy to know that you are dressed differently than everyone? I went to a charity ball and was one of a handful of people who was not wearing black. I felt incredibly stupid. Now I did not need to be “rich and upperclass” to know that i was out of place! The same way she does not need to be Catholic to know that she was out of place! If she had eyes, she knew it!

 

[netmilsmom]

I think those men need a good spankin for being so naughty! Who is going to be the lust police?

Please!
Our entire society will be better when we stop thinking of men as children.

This statement, spanking a naughty boy, is a clue of what the problem is.

My husband and the MEN in our parish are not naughty boys. They are husbands and fathers.
You are doing no one a service by this.
The men of today are raising the fathers of tomorrow. Stop treating them like they are kids. They have great worth, and not just as sperm donors.

Really.

 

[Marilena]

if she knew she was out of place before she even came to Mass, then why would she deliberately wear that type of clothing? my priest did not know about it because if he had, he would’ve spoken to her immediately after Mass as he has done before. if she knew she was out of place, then how could i possibly embarass her? if she knew she wa sout of place, then believe nme, she would not be embarassed at all because the intent was there in the first place to wear that type of clothing correct? so how could one knowingly be out of place and then be embarassed? that does not make sense at all.

 

[Karin]

The same way she does not need to be Catholic to know that she was out of place! If she had eyes, she knew it!

With that thinking then she should of known it was an issue before she left her house!

 

[netmilsmom]

Well, hmm, was she blind, was she retarded? if so then you should not be reprimanding her in the first place. Do you need to be Catholic and Holy to know that you are dressed differently than everyone? I went to a charity ball and was one of a handful of people who was not wearing black. I felt incredibly stupid. Now I did not need to be “rich and upperclass” to know that i was out of place! The same way she does not need to be Catholic to know that she was out of place! If she had eyes, she knew it!

You are making a whole lot of assumptions here.
She may have thought that she was above the dress code as she had a lovely body.
We can assume the worst as well as the best.

Better not to assume.

 

[Ecce_homo_1]

I was only saying that YOU picked her out of a croud of people! Not that you went to a podium and told her to put on a skirt. She should be dressing appropriately, my only point is that she knew she was dressed inappropriately LONG before you said anything to her.

You know this how?

She did not need someone to speak her language, or speak to her at all to know she was dressing inappropriately.

From what I’ve read she definitely did

All im sayin is this…if you want to be the enforcer instead of letting the pastor, you are doing a disservice to yourself, instead of praying and paying attention, you are worrying about other people.

I think expecting the Pastor to do everything is a dissservice. There’s simply nothing wrong with kind correction that Marilena did in this case, nothing at all, you can’t cite anything in Church history, or the Bible showing where it’s O.K. to allow a woman to dress like a hooker to Church and not correct that behavior, as a Christian it’s your duty to do so.

 

[shannyk]

The saddest thing about this whole discussion is that there are FIVE PAGES of posts on it.

GO ahead, sit here, take comfort in the fact that you can sit back at your computer, and anonymously brow beat some woman who came to mass of all things not dressed as you all see fit. I know, it makes you feel better to sit back and nit pick at others whom you so easily classify as ‘one of the thoughtless generation’, when this woman could have been dressed in the the nicest thing she owned.

Maybe she shouldn’t have been dressed that way, but maybe she didn’t know better.

You all can’t use that excuse.

This should have ended Marilena with you saying a prayer for her and leaving it at that.

 

[Julianna]

But our eagerness to get people in church does not mean that we should not address such issues as proper dress. Marilina’s church has rules and there is nothing wrong with politely enforcing those rules.

My church does not have such rules so it would be wrong for me, personally, to approach anyone who was dressed inappropriately.

As far as foreign languages, if you were in another country, you would probably not be offended if someone politely explained that your dress was considered incorrect.

I attended a Baptist church in which a lot of pressure was put on my hubby to buy a suit. That was how the church expected its members to eventually dress.

At my Baptist grandmother’s church, yes, that was the rule, suit and tie. And I could not wear pants, at all, and my dress had to be past my knee. At my high school (boyfriend) church, Pentacostal, I could not wear any make-up or perfume, I had to wear a dress, down past my knees, no high heels, and my hair was long, but I had to put it in a long loose ponytail in the back, no earrings. No drinking, no dancing, no rock music allowed.

Yep, the Catholic church was for me, for sure! God knew what he was doing.

I have now, at age 48, have discovered, on this very board, that certain churches, Catholic, have dress codes. Go figure. Someone, please let me know when drinking and dancing at weddings or anywehre else is abolished…and rock music. I have all the original Led Zeppelin, Rolling Stones, Aerosmith, Beatles, The Who, U2 albums…and I will need to know if I will need to bury them somewhere.

I’m home sick today, and the cold medicine has just kicked in.

 

[BEattitude]

With that thinking then she should of known it was an issue before she left her house!

This is probably what happened… The boyfriend or whoever brought her told her she looked fine before she left. Why did he not point it out before he brought her to this mass with the dress code. For all we know, this girl has never been to a mass in her life.

 

[netmilsmom]

The saddest thing about this whole discussion is that there are FIVE PAGES of posts on it.

GO ahead, sit here, take comfort in the fact that you can sit back at your computer, and anonymously brow beat some woman who came to mass of all things not dressed as you all see fit. I know, it makes you feel better to sit back and nit pick at others whom you so easily classify as ‘one of the thoughtless generation’, when this woman could have been dressed in the the nicest thing she owned.

Maybe she shouldn’t have been dressed that way, but maybe she didn’t know better.

You all can’t use that excuse.

This should have ended Marilena with you saying a prayer for her and leaving it at that.

Have you noticed that this is a discussion forum?
That’s what we do, discuss.