Possible contraception in family

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Sorry you feel offended.

You are free to invite a priest to offer his opinion if it is morally wrong for a parent to ask their married children if they would like to have kids.

Or if it constitutes provoking a child to anger as you have asserted.
 
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No. I do not. I do, however, have very personal issues with contraception.
 
Thank you. That helps me in viewing your post’s on this topic.
 
He might be fine with answering whether he wants to ever have children. He’s probably not going to be fine with most of the other questions/accusations the OP suggested. If he is fine with being told that his mother believes his wife is contracepting behind his back, then there’s a pretty severe marital issue for them!
 
I only suggested she is okay to open the conversation. I did not encourage accusations.

I’m not convinced this mother was suggesting or arguing for anything different.

If the young man expressed he is open to children, but unsure why they are not pregnant after 3 yrs, then they have a willing mother to offer help with doctors?
 
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Yeah, I haven’t even mentioned this, but the part where the OP was assessing her DIL’s weight was beyond creepy too. First of all, it’s medically unsound. I’ve never heard of a woman who couldn’t conceive or carry a pregnancy because she was fat. I guess it’s technically possible, but she’d have to be REALLY fat! Like, way beyond morbidly obese fat! But it just conjured up the image of some matchmaker going around with a tape-measure, assessing women’s “birthing potential” by the measurement of their hips. Icky, dehumanizing, and wrong! It’s like she was describing defective livestock!
 
A doctor had actually told my wife she was too fat to have a normal birth.
 
I won’t ask how fat we’re talking, but I’m over 300lbs and have never had the least bit of problem. My births have all been “normal”. I’m currently expecting another normal birth in two months.
 
rcwitness said:
But asking a question is not assuming. It’s actually aimed at resolving any worries or fears.
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If a mother is worrying about these things with respect to her grown child, then she is worrying about the wrong things. Time to find something else to to worry about.
 
I’m sorry to hear that your wife’s doc was a jerk, but just to clarify, we all understand that mere fatness is not generally an inhibition to pregnancy or childbirth. I mean, some medical issues such as advanced diabetes or lack of progesterone can cause infertility and excessive weight co-morbidly, but just being overweight is usually not an issue.
 
rcwitness said:
But even if its painful, why would the question cause harm?

Just say," it’s too personal and we wish it to be private. But yes, we want kids and are not contracepting. Thanks mom!"
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Is this they way you conduct yourself? Do you go around asking people questions that are none of your business? How does that go for you?

Usually, I believe people conduct themselves in ways that work for them. I am not able to believe this works well for you. Maybe it is a cultural thing?

Where do you draw the line? What do you consider too personal of a question to ask someone? Or more specific, what do you consider to be to personal for a mother to ask her grown children?

Truthfully, my child just got married. When people ask if they are having children soon, I say I don’t know because I don’t have sex with them. That shuts down the convo quickly. Why in the world would anyone want to insert themselves in that close, intimate personal affair of a married couple.

I think you are pulling our legs. It isn’t possible that you don’t “get this”.
 
Do you know that the body is a temple? We don’t have fat people in our family. Do you want me to plan a diet for you to follow? I can help you find a doctor, since you obvious can’t take care of the problem yourself.
 
I get why you asked, but you have to admit in an topic where people are lecturing about minding one’s own business, this is kind of an ironic question…
 
Really? 😉

My point was that my wife and I struggle with infertility. Therefor, I’ll view rcwitness’s views as well meaning but uninformed and not worth my emotional investment.
 
Now this I vehemently disagree with. I will worry for the salvation of my children until I take my last breath.

Now whether or not that should manifest in probing questions is a different matter, but to tell a parent that worrying about their children is the wrong thing to do is poor advice.
 
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