T
teresas1979
Guest
My boyfriend and I have had sex although we do not anymore and are waiting until we marry before continuing sexual relations. (my decision which is sometimes difficult to enforce!).
The reason why I think I have had sex before marriage is because I grew up with so many conflicting views of it. I was raised Catholic and taught that sex was evil and to be avoided at all costs. I never learned the loving nature of a full relationship, I was just told that sex was wrong, period. Never any discussions about why or when it may be right.
Now take the social aspect (I’m nearly 26). I grew up in a society where promiscuity was the norm (although it is even worse now) and all my peers were having sexual relations at a young age. In my Catholic schools, we were not allowed to talk about sex, had no sexual education until we were 14 years old (by which time many of the students had already had sex) and were generally given the “forbidden fruit” image.
The reason why this is so harmful, is because I never understood the importance of sex in a loving relationship and the damage it can do outside of that. I was just told that sex was wrong with no explanation. Sex was something I was protected from. I was never allowed to watch films with any romantic elements, even the ones I was more than old enough to. So I grew up with a warped image of sex as being an evil of society. As a result I have slept with several people before my present partner.
In some senses I don’t regret it, as every experience I have ever had makes me who I am today. But if I had learned the value of sex I would have known not to sleep with the maybes and waited for my current partner who I know is the one. And although we are both christians and have slept together outside of marriage and we know this is wrong, in my heart I am committed to him for ever so for me it is like we are already married (The reasons why we are not are complicated and personal)
The reason why I think I have had sex before marriage is because I grew up with so many conflicting views of it. I was raised Catholic and taught that sex was evil and to be avoided at all costs. I never learned the loving nature of a full relationship, I was just told that sex was wrong, period. Never any discussions about why or when it may be right.
Now take the social aspect (I’m nearly 26). I grew up in a society where promiscuity was the norm (although it is even worse now) and all my peers were having sexual relations at a young age. In my Catholic schools, we were not allowed to talk about sex, had no sexual education until we were 14 years old (by which time many of the students had already had sex) and were generally given the “forbidden fruit” image.
The reason why this is so harmful, is because I never understood the importance of sex in a loving relationship and the damage it can do outside of that. I was just told that sex was wrong with no explanation. Sex was something I was protected from. I was never allowed to watch films with any romantic elements, even the ones I was more than old enough to. So I grew up with a warped image of sex as being an evil of society. As a result I have slept with several people before my present partner.
In some senses I don’t regret it, as every experience I have ever had makes me who I am today. But if I had learned the value of sex I would have known not to sleep with the maybes and waited for my current partner who I know is the one. And although we are both christians and have slept together outside of marriage and we know this is wrong, in my heart I am committed to him for ever so for me it is like we are already married (The reasons why we are not are complicated and personal)
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