Re: Youth Director is an Unwed Mother

[litllulu]

Exactly, I wish posters would stop making assumptions. We’re calling for her resignation from this particular post, not that she be tarred a feathered, and run out of town. She’s not qualified to be a youth leader anymore. Yes, we understand that we’re all sinners. It’s just we want a role model for our children whose credentials include more than not getting an abortion when she gets knocked up by her boyfriend.

You are very uncharitable and uncuth! So what kind of job can a woman who is “knocked up” have?

No wonder there are so many who have abortion and use ABC, it is your mentality and pervades the whole culture! I am sure that if people knew about the BVM being “knocked up” before she was wed they would have acted just like you.

The angel appeared to Joseph to tell him “do not be afraid” That rings true of every pregnant woman. She is should not be treated differently.

You better watch out, or your sins may be written in the sand in front of your clergy!

Would Mary Magdalene be fit for this position? Or would she be too scandalous for you?

 

[JLSacred]

If the whole thing is tactfully handled, the girl can quietly resign and go about her business. She has other pressing concerns, such as the fact that she is now to be an unwed mother soon. This is a life crisis for her.

If, on the other hand, she plays the victim and points fingers at all the pharisees who want to stone her to death and are so mean and judgemental, and gets a lawyer and calls the media, then she will have made things worse for everyone. Unfortunately, in this day and age, everyone is a victim.

When people choose abortion, that is their own choice. It’s not our fault that they choose abortion. That’s why they call it ‘pro-choice’. Yes, there are consequences in a Catholic organisation for violating moral clauses. I’ve read on a teachers forum that Catholic school teachers are required to sign a moral clause. They don’t want their teachers to live in public sin. Certainly, these same standards should apply to a paid, or unpaid, youth leader!

 

[JLSacred]

And, may I remind others here that there were many fewer abortions back in the day when our society had stricter standards, and there was real shame in being an unwed mother. Abortion was illegal, and women had to hide away to have their babies. There were higher morals and fewer abortions.

 

[litllulu]

If the whole thing is tactfully handled, the girl can quietly resign and go about her business. She has other pressing concerns, such as the fact that she is now to be an unwed mother soon. This is a life crisis for her.

If, on the other hand, she plays the victim and points fingers at all the pharisees who want to stone her to death and are so mean and judgemental, and gets a lawyer and calls the media, then she will have made things worse for everyone. Unfortunately, in this day and age, everyone is a victim.

When people choose abortion, that is their own choice. It’s not our fault that they choose abortion. That’s why they call it ‘pro-choice’. Yes, there are consequences in a Catholic organisation for violating moral clauses. I’ve read on a teachers forum that Catholic school teachers are required to sign a moral clause. They don’t want their teachers to live in public sin. Certainly, these same standards should apply to a paid, or unpaid, youth leader!

You are not your brother’s keeper? I thought we were all part of the body of Christ?

It must be nice to be perfect! How does it feel? Tell us we want to know! Have you never committed a sin that you are ashamed of? Who doesn’t? I am sure there is someone out there who knows what it is too. God forbid your sins would become public knowledge! Would you feel differently if it was you?

So would Mary Magdalene not be fit for this role? You never answered!

 

[JLSacred]

You are not your brother’s keeper? I thought we were all part of the body of Christ?

It must be nice to be perfect! How does it feel? Tell us we want to know! Have you never committed a sin that you are ashamed of? Who doesn’t? I am sure there is someone out there who knows what it is too. God forbid your sins would become public knowledge! Would you feel differently if it was you?

Why are you attacking me? You don’t know anything about me or my past. I would appreciate it if you didn’t do this. I haven’t attacked anyone on this thread.

 

[litllulu]

Why are you attacking me? You don’t know anything about me or my past. I would appreciate it if you didn’t do this. I haven’t attacked anyone on this thread.

Sorry, it was not directed to you per se! I was only pointing out that it is the Grace of the Good Lord that OUR sins (everybody) are not public knowledge! If they were we would all be totally screwed and in the same position that this lady is in. Face it, we have all committed sins that would cause scandal, I am at the top of the list i am sure!!

 

[PennitentMan]

If the whole thing is tactfully handled, the girl can quietly resign and go about her business. She has other pressing concerns, such as the fact that she is now to be an unwed mother soon. This is a life crisis for her.

If, on the other hand, she plays the victim and points fingers at all the pharisees who want to stone her to death and are so mean and judgemental, and gets a lawyer and calls the media, then she will have made things worse for everyone. Unfortunately, in this day and age, everyone is a victim.

There can be a middleground here.

Between your two paragraphs, is where I would like to see this situation end up.

She keeps her job, does not call any lawyer and has a great opportunity to tell the youth what she did wrong (That will help them to understand confession and see the value of it). She can council them with first hand knowledge of the Churches teachings and her sin and the consequences of it. She can tell them about all the things she did wrong and how it is against the Church’s teachings.
She can also then advocate pro-life and the values of that.
No scandal, but a public admission of sin and showing kids how to deal with it in today’s society.

 

[litllulu]

Remember the scandal Lucy Ricardo brought for being pregnant on TV! That shocked everyone!!!

 

[carol_marie]

This would be a great teaching moment. Let’s show the youth that if they become with child, they can bring it to their parents, to their church, and they will be not treated like a spreading disease! Chances are a vast majority will engage in Premarital sex, and many will become pregnant before they are married. That is just a fact of life. .

Yes, this is a GREAT idea. She should stand in front of the youth group and say,

“The vast majority of you will engage in premarital sex and many of you will be become pregnant before you are married. After all, I did. So when that happens, choose life.”

Lovely. And afterwards I think we should serve cake & punch.

Ohhhhh wait… why stop there. I think we should find a drug addict to come in and say, “Many of you will use illegal drugs. It’s a fact of life. When you do, please be sure the needles are clean.”

Let’s book a homosexual… he can tell the teens that many of them may choose to engage in homosexual sex - but don’t sweat it… there’s always forgivenss when they repent. I think giving them this message in advance is a great idea.

Let’s lower our standards for our youth so very very low that they have NOTHING to live up to. Nothing at all. Eventually they may not even feel like they need forgiveness - because nothing is wrong or shameful.

What a great youth group!!!

 

[agapewolf]

So are you going to find someone who does not sin?

Chances are a vast majority will engage in Premarital sex, and many will become pregnant before they are married. That is just a fact of life. And what will they remember? They will remember the woman who was forced to resign, they will remember the fury of their parents, of the priest towards that woman! NOT GOOD.

This is a very problematic view of it.

First of all, yes, you can find youth directors out there who ARE CHASTE…in every way, and their will is formed so. I did it myself. I was a youth minister for 5 years, and I didn’t have sex. It is possible.

Second, your view of “the vast majority” is grossly improper. That is what the youth ministry is for, is to preach chastity, and IT CAN BE DONE!!! , but if you read ALL of my past posts, you will see that this is not the best circumstance to do so. Her continual employment appears as approval of her actions. Remorse or not.

Just because it is likely that teens are sexually active, does not mean we treat them as such…or don’t have higher expectations.
This goes along with the idea of teaching birth control because we know “they’ll do it anyway”.

 

[litllulu]

Yes, this is a GREAT idea. She should stand in front of the youth group and say,

“The vast majority of you will engage in premarital sex and many of you will be become pregnant before you are married. After all, I did. So when that happens, choose life.”

Lovely. And afterwards I think we should serve cake & punch.

Ohhhhh wait… why stop there. I think we should find a drug addict to come in and say, “Many of you will use illegal drugs. It’s a fact of life. When you do, please be sure the needles are clean.”

What a great youth group!!!

Not even close to what i was saying. It would be equal to having a person who had a loved one who died from drugs and tell them about the effects of drugs on someones physical, emotional, familial sufferings! Or it would be like Father Corapi saying, “I was smoking crack in Hell before you were born little girl, little boy”

I did it, was terrible, don’t you do it!

Should he be forbidden from sharing his experiences with illegal substances?

 

[agapewolf]

Then she can be a speaker at a night for youth group. Not the actual leader. She is still in the middle of it. She hasn’t even yet begun to learn about all of the consequences.

Please please please read my past posts.

 

[litllulu]

This is a very problematic view of it.

First of all, yes, you can find youth directors out there who ARE CHASTE…in every way, and their will is formed so. I did it myself. I was a youth minister for 5 years, and I didn’t have sex. It is possible.

Second, your view of “the vast majority” is grossly improper. That is what the youth ministry is for, is to preach chastity, and IT CAN BE DONE!!! , but if you read ALL of my past posts, you will see that this is not the best circumstance to do so. Her continual employment appears as approval of her actions. Remorse or not.

Just because it is likely that teens are sexually active, does not mean we treat them as such…or don’t have higher expectations.
This goes along with the idea of teaching birth control because we know “they’ll do it anyway”.

I am sure we can find priest that weren’t crack addicts too. They have something to bring to the table too!

 

[PennitentMan]

Just because it is likely that teens are sexually active, does not mean we treat them as such…or don’t have higher expectations.
This goes along with the idea of teaching birth control because we know “they’ll do it anyway”.

No, but this is a great opportunity to minister and testify to the ones that will, or are doing it. For the ones that are not, it’s confirmation of why they remain chaste.
Everyone can learn a lesson from this.

 

[JLSacred]

Yes, this is a GREAT idea. She should stand in front of the youth group and say,

“The vast majority of you will engage in premarital sex and many of you will be become pregnant before you are married. After all, I did. So when that happens, choose life.”

Lovely. And afterwards I think we should serve cake & punch.

Ohhhhh wait… why stop there. I think we should find a drug addict to come in and say, “Many of you will use illegal drugs. It’s a fact of life. When you do, please be sure the needles are clean.”

What a great youth group!!!

Yes, just the type of youthgroup I want to send my kids to! They can also have a gay youth day, where a gay youth stands up and says “Some of you are gay, and it’s okay, you probably won’t be able to control it, but Jesus loves you, don’t worry about it!”

I wonder if this is how the Mormons run their youthgroups? I’ll bet not! They have high standards and enforce them! And they turn out some awesome young people! No wonder people turn to other religious groups.

 

[thechrismyster]

If she’s a pregnant unwed mom, who’s received reconcilliation.

shes just as ‘fit’ as any of you to teach the children.

people get pregnant, that’s what happens when you have sex sometimes.
but thats not the sin.

if the sin is forgiven and her living condition is rectified, and she wants to teach… whats the problem?

if she’s living with a man outside marriage, that is different, that could be scandalous for a children’s teacher.
but if she’s pregnant, and has gone to confession AND she’s not living with the man… then, she’s as pure as the driven snow.

what an opportunity to teach your child about God’s absolute forgiveness.

 

[litllulu]

Yes, just the type of youthgroup I want to send my kids to! They can also have a gay youth day, where a gay youth stands up and says “Some of you are gay, and it’s okay, you probably won’t be able to control it, but Jesus loves you, don’t worry about it!”

I wonder if this is how the Mormons run their youthgroups? I’ll bet not! They have high standards and enforce them! And they turn out some awesome young people! No wonder people turn to other religious groups.

JL, you are out of control! you are not even hearing what we are saying. you just keep jumping to conclusions, like lawyers, and promoting sexual promsicuity. We are not saying that in the least!

 

[JLSacred]

Then she can be a speaker at a night for youth group. Not the actual leader. She is still in the middle of it. She hasn’t even yet begun to learn about all of the consequences.

Please please please read my past posts.

Exactly! Just like someone who drove drunk, got in an accident, and is paralyzed for life. That’s the kind of youth group I would want to send my children to. From the actual leader, I would expect more.

 

[PennitentMan]

If she’s a pregnant unwed mom, who’s received reconcilliation.

shes just as ‘fit’ of any of you to teach the children.

people get pregnant, that’s what happens when you have sex sometimes.
but thats not the sin.

if the sin is forgiven, and she wants to teach… whats the problem?

if she’s living with a man outside marriage, that is different, that could be scandalous for a children’s teacher.
but if she’s pregnant, and has gone to confession AND she’s not living with the man… then, she’s as pure as the driven snow.

what an opportunity to teach your child about God’s absolute forgiveness.

Exactly! Great post.

 

[agapewolf]

Folks, I wish everyone would read the past posts here. A lot of this has been exhausted.

It is most likely that she violated her job description…as I said before, most youth ministry job descriptions state that one must be free from mortal sin, and live out the teachings of the Church.

There are plenty of youth directors that do so. This doesn’t mean perfection, but it means a formed conscience and will, a healthy lifestyle, and avoidance of occasion of sin.