Re: Youth Director is an Unwed Mother

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whatevergirl said:
getting pregnant, out of wedlock-- isn’t a crime…😉
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It’s a mortal sin and can cause the unrepentant to suffer the pain of eternal separation from God. What about if she got caught shop lifting? That’s not a mortal sin, but it’s against the law. Abortion isn’t against the law, how about someone who got an abortion?

I for one would pull my child out of a youth group led by anyone who was not a impeccable role model.
 
agapewolf said:
I’ll address the St. Pete analogy…

The church is entrusted to the care and guardian of the Sacraments… amid a world steeped in beliefs of subjective and relative truth…with scandals involving our Church.

Our church MUST be extra cautious…

It’s people that look at this girl employed by the church, and they could think the church APPROVES of her actions, therefore thinking that the church has “changed” or something. “Wow…the church must think pre-marital sex is ok now…I’ll go and do it too”.
so the scandal can lead others to sin as well. also, a new teen who doesn’t know the story comes and sees it, finds out that she is single, and takes it as a role-model situation.

of course this is such a basic raw example…but hopefully you get the point. Please read my previous post about the politician.

It is not Jesus himself saying that she is fit for the job. He knows her heart, we do not. again, we are not condemning her soul, but we are looking at suitablility for the job. The Church has to look out for the whole package here…
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OK–That was the brick that needed to land on my head. Thank you–I get it now. I’m not certain that seeing someone in that role, will lead others to sin…teens can be led astray, but if they have a strong foundation building from their homelife, they should be strong enough to not let a pregnant unwed mother sway their opinions, who they visit with about 2 hours per week…but, ok…I agree…I appreciate you taking the time to explain that to me.

In lay terms. lol

Now as for the child molestor analogy…:rolleyes:
 
whatevergirl said:
OK–That was the brick that needed to land on my head. Thank you–I get it now. I’m not certain that seeing someone in that role, will lead others to sin…teens can be led astray, but if they have a strong foundation building from their homelife, they should be strong enough to not let a pregnant unwed mother sway their opinions, who they visit with about 2 hours per week…but, ok…I agree…I appreciate you taking the time to explain that to me.

In lay terms. lol

Now as for the child molestor analogy…:rolleyes:
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LOL, I’m not saying that consenting sex out of wedlock is as bad as child molestation, but I was saying that just because someone claims to have ‘repented’, and has gone to confession, doesn’t mean that they are entitled to work in certain positions of trust. THAT is my point.
 
whatevergirl said:
I’m not certain that seeing someone in that role, will lead others to sin…teens can be led astray, but if they have a strong foundation building from their homelife, they should be strong enough to not let a pregnant unwed mother sway their opinions, who they visit with about 2 hours per week…but, ok…I agree…I appreciate you taking the time to explain that to me.

In lay terms. lol

Now as for the child molestor analogy…:rolleyes:
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They are teenagers. of course they should be strong enough, but they are teenagers. thats why there is youth ministry…because they aren’t strong enough. I was a youth minister for 5 years, and if anyone will call something hypocritical, its a teenager.

they follow by example. words can only go so far. Some teens are involved in drugs, oral sex parties, and everything else… we can’t expect them to compartmentalize right from wrong with bad examples, and the world screaming out relativism… and also, a GOOD full time youth minister is not just 2 hours a week at church…they are emmersed in the teens lives…at their school, their ballgames, etc
 
agapewolf said:
They are teenagers. of course they should be strong enough, but they are teenagers. thats why there is youth ministry…because they aren’t strong enough. I was a youth minister for 5 years, and if anyone will call something hypocritical, its a teenager.

they follow by example. words can only go so far. Some teens are involved in drugs, oral sex parties, and everything else… we can’t expect them to compartmentalize right from wrong with bad examples, and the world screaming out relativism… and also, a GOOD full time youth minister is not just 2 hours a week at church…they are emmersed in the teens lives…at their school, their ballgames, etc
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Well said. You are more eloquent than I. 👍
 
JLSacred said:
LOL, I’m not saying that consenting sex out of wedlock is as bad as child molestation, but I was saying that just because someone claims to have ‘repented’, and has gone to confession, doesn’t mean that they are entitled to work in certain positions of trust. THAT is my point.
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Ok…Ok…🙂 I got it, now.
 
JLSacred said:
It’s a mortal sin and can cause the unrepentant to suffer the pain of eternal separation from God. What about if she got caught shop lifting? That’s not a mortal sin, but it’s against the law. Abortion isn’t against the law, how about someone who got an abortion?

I for one would pull my child out of a youth group led by anyone who was not a impeccable role model.
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Just to clarify. Having sex outside of marriage is a mortal sin. Being pregnant is not.
 
I think we have come so very far in our society. Twenty years ago it was scandalous when a TV show flaunted an unwed pregnant woman (Murphy Brown) and now it’s actually up for discussion whether it’s acceptable to have an unwed pregnant woman as a role model for youths? God help us. 😦
 
If the OP is uncomfortable w/ the situation, she can pull her kids out of the program.

Let the pastor handle the rest of it; that’s part of his job. —KCT
 
KCT said:
If the OP is uncomfortable w/ the situation, she can pull her kids out of the program.

Let the pastor handle the rest of it; that’s part of his job. —KCT
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I completely agree. No one knows if this woman is actually pregnant, and if she is, no one knows the circumstances. Everything else is idle gossip.
 
JLSacred said:
My concern is that our children have very few role models that are worthy, and we desperately need the Church to provide some help in this dept. There are plenty of pregnant unmarried people in Hollywood for them to ‘look up to’ :rolleyes:
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Ok, well here’s the thing…how many of the married RE instructors are using artificial birth control? How many of the unmarried RE instructors are using ABC? How many of the male RE instructors are engaging in premarital sex?

The only difference between their being able to hold onto their roles is that their bodies do not reveal their sin, whereas a pregnant woman’s - who chooses life over abortion - does.

In this day and age - with the pressure on our teens to choose abortion over pregnancy - the role modeling an unwed mother portrays is of far greater value to the teens than the role modeling of the single-sexually-active-yet-practicing-ABC-and perhaps abortion model. These teens are not naive, sorry to say…even though an ABC woman’s body won’t reveal her sexual activity often times her words and actions do, especially in small towns.

There is scandal in the other examples and I suspect those cases are more prevalent than an unwed mother being in a leadership role in the church. I resist the urge to penalize a woman who chooses life over death for her child, plain and simple.
 
agapewolf said:
It’s people that look at this girl employed by the church, and they could think the church APPROVES of her actions, therefore thinking that the church has “changed” or something. “Wow…the church must think pre-marital sex is ok now…I’ll go and do it too”.
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Or rather, “Wow, the Church really is forgiving.” “The Church really does seek after every last lost sheep bringing it back into the fold.”
…a new teen who doesn’t know the story comes and sees it, finds out that she is single, and takes it as a role-model situation.
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Not if that new teen has responsible Catholic parents. Those parents would teach the lesson of mistakes, forgiveness, and learning from others’ mistakes, not let the teen presume the Church condones the behavior and encourages it. The Catholic parent KNOWS the Church’s position and would teach it to their teen.
again, we are not condemning her soul, but we are looking at suitablility for the job. The Church has to look out for the whole package here…
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Pregnancy does not affect a person’s intellect or spirit. If she is strong in her faith, especially after having repented of her sin, then she’s still suitable for the job.

I agree with the earlier poster, however, that if she is not repentant, doesn’t feel she has done anything wrong, is living with the father out of wedlock, or plans to continue to engage in premarital sex - then those would be the suitability factors which prohibit her from holding onto her post, not the fact that she’s once had sex or that the sex resulted in a pregnancy.

Right now none of us know whether or not she is remorseful or humbled or anything…we don’t even know if she’s really pregnant.
 
YinYangMom said:
Ok, well here’s the thing…how many of the married RE instructors are using artificial birth control?
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We are under obligation as parents to provide our children the best moral environment possible. I suggest we don’t accept anyone teaching our children who shows by example that they are not in complete agreement with our precious Catholic teaching. Actions speak louder than words. A suggestion of “well at least its not the worst we can do” does not seem to do our children justice.

There is a lot our children can learn from circumstances as this, primarily from parents. But the parents MUST be backed up by the educators, including our youth leaders. If this woman is not willing / capable of being 100% committed to Church teachings, she is, essentially, teaching lies. Who wants that?

This is an issue for the priest. I pray that he does the right thing.

Dan
 
JLSacred said:
It’s a mortal sin and can cause the unrepentant to suffer the pain of eternal separation from God.
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And yet, if she received absolution for that sin, who are you or anyone else to treat her as if she had not?
What about if she got caught shop lifting? That’s not a mortal sin, but it’s against the law.
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You’re mixing your crimes with your mortal sins again. Besides, even if she got caught in any crime, one would have to wait until she was convicted.
Abortion isn’t against the law, how about someone who got an abortion?
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Good question. How about that? How many RE leaders/instructors have had abortions or vasectomies or tubal ligations, but no one knows about it, of course, because their bodies don’t reveal it. Then again, what does it really matter if they have since repented of their sin, been absolved, and have indeed resolved to teach the Truth?
I for one would pull my child out of a youth group led by anyone who was not a impeccable role model.
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As is your prerogative. What about us parents? Do I need to be an impeccable role model in order to teach my children the faith? If so, my kids would have been taken from me years ago. But it is through my children that I came to see the errors of my way and the weakness in my catechesis. God used them to bring me closer to Him, but if He went by your guidelines I never would have experienced that.
 
JLSacred said:
I was saying that just because someone claims to have ‘repented’, and has gone to confession, doesn’t mean that they are entitled to work in certain positions of trust. THAT is my point.
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But isn’t that up to the parish priest who heard the confession to decide? How would any parent know? That parent needs to trust the pastor, that if indeed there was good cause to remove the person from the position because the person’s will, attitude, beliefs would do more harm than good, he’d do so.
 
YinYangMom said:
And yet, if she received absolution for that sin, who are you or anyone else to treat her as if she had not?

You’re mixing your crimes with your mortal sins again. Besides, even if she got caught in any crime, one would have to wait until she was convicted.

Good question. How about that? How many RE leaders/instructors have had abortions or vasectomies or tubal ligations, but no one knows about it, of course, because their bodies don’t reveal it. Then again, what does it really matter if they have since repented of their sin, been absolved, and have indeed resolved to teach the Truth?

As is your prerogative. What about us parents? Do I need to be an impeccable role model in order to teach my children the faith? If so, my kids would have been taken from me years ago. But it is through my children that I came to see the errors of my way and the weakness in my catechesis. God used them to bring me closer to Him, but if He went by your guidelines I never would have experienced that.
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although I understood your comments JLSacred…she does make valid points…you have to admit that!!:o
 
whatevergirl said:
although I understood your comments JLSacred…she does make valid points…you have to admit that!!:o
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Now lets think of everyone who got pregnant before they were married! Are they not fit to raise their child Catholic because they have OBVIOUSLY committed a mortal sin? God lets us who have sinned have a great deal of responsibility.

Secondly, can you who chastize her seriously say you have NEVER committed sexual mortal sin whether it be fornication, pornography, masturbation, adultery, lust in your heart? Can you say that? Should you be stripped of all your religious authority?

Masturbation= mortal sin
fornication= mortal sin
pornography= mortal sin
lust= mortal sin
adulter= mortal sin

So he who has not sinned cast the first stone.

If you have ever masturbated, or had a lustful thought, you are no better off than she!
 
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