Responses to Unwelcome Comments on Family Size

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There are some great responses here.
One thing to keep in mind is that the children may be listening, and little ones may have a hard time distinguishing irony or a joke from literal truth. I wouldn’t say anything in front of the kids that I wouldn’t look them in the eye and say.
 
I just had to smile, laugh (and reflect)as I read these posts.
I am 43 and single, I think God has it planned for me to be such. There have been times I have wondered what my life would have been like to have children. (I believe it is still not too late, but I leave that up totally on God’s hands).
I have been working on my family genealogy (and others who have asked me) and I see why families had large amount of offspring.
At first, it was due to families had to work their farms, as cities grew, the number of kids dropped because there wasn’t enough room for the large families. Then, the 'burbs grew and a brief increase in families (Baby Boomers). Now, society in general, is selfish and don’t want the large family. It certainly shows the lack of Love and Respect of the Family Life.

Here’s one for you:
“How many more children?” I want enough to field my own baseball team.

Pros to having more children:
Hand-me-down’s
Curbs loneliness

Has anyone here have more than twins? A Christian couple in Akron had 6 all at once.

Go with God!
Edwin
 
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JimG:
With each new birth, one of his co-worker was always making snide comments. (“Don’t you know what causes that?” etc.) SIZE]

My wife and I are now pregnent with our first child! Actually our second, but we miscarried shortly after conceiving the first time around. 😦 Since my wife and I use NFP, we would me a reply to the “don’t you know what causes that?” comment by stating…

Yes! We had fertile mucus and we USED it!
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Some of mine:

“who ever brainwashed you into thinking 2 was the perfect number of children?”

“A large family is the best retirement plan!”

“You don’t mean you can’t afford more kids, you mean you can’t afford a BMW, a wide screen TV, $300 in monthly communication bills (cable, cell, telephone). etc and more kids, and are too selfish to give it up”

“Stop imposing your morality on me!” (hehehe)

“What a dumb question!”

"Aren’t you Catholic? "

“You may be unhappy with how your kids turned out, but mine turned out great and I’d love more!”
 
Well, yeah, if I had kids like your’s, I wouldn’t have anymore either.
 
I am the first born of 10. (I don’t say oldest anymore:) ) I once overheard my very holy mother answer the question. Catholic? when she knew they where talking about the size of our family. she answered “nope, just horney!”. That shut them right up.
 
This thread has been hysterical and wonderful. We have only had five ( a smaller family I know) but are trying to adopt and are often asked why in the world we would want to do that!! I intend to use some of these remarks.

When I was expecting the last time, we had twins. My husband’s coworker heard about this and challenged him (she was a bit of a feminist) about needing to stop reproducing. he looked her straight in the eye and said he’d be sure to call her up and ask her permission the next time he and I decided to make love, to make sure it was OK with her. He’d also be calling her up for a monthly donation to the operating expenses of our family, since she clearly felt she had a right to manage parts of it in some way. She apologized.

Once in the grocery store, when my oldest was six and I had all five of them with me, I was asked if they were all mine. (like anyone would willingly take extra toddlers to grocery shop!) I had a moment of inspiration, smiled and said, “Yes, we have 14…” then and turned around to look at them, and pretended to have misplaced some. I stomped off from the lady calling out imaginary names in a worried tone of voice. “Suzie? Jeff? Allen? Joannie?”

My sister tells me all the time that “The earth groans under the weight of all your children.” I just smile and say, “It loves them too.” 👍
 
My response to a question about having too many children is usually.

“There’s no better thing in this world to spend money on than a child!”

Usually deflects the comment, and sometimes get’s the person to think about their own priorities.
 
Ya know…

The best thing about this thread is that it makes me think “I only have five kids…”

ONLY!!! 😃

In real life (away from great online Catholic communities like this!), I often am made to feel like 5 is a HUGE number!! 😉 It’s really not!!

God bless you, every one!!
 
geocities.com/~plomp/largefam/comebacks.htm is the link to the Official Large Family FAQ page. 😉
Sample:
**Don’t you know what causes that? **
  • No, please tell me!
  • Of course, don’t you?
  • Yes, we do know what causes that and we like it very much, thank you.
  • Oh yes, we finally figured it out and we now keep the tooth brushes in seperate glasses!
  • Oh yes, I now wash my husband’s underwear seperately.
  • Oh yes, having a great sex life!
  • Water or sex but I don’t want to give up either.
  • Smile brightly and say with enthusiasm “Yes and we like it!”
  • You bet I do…love, love, love ( & sex, sex, sex…hehehe…)
  • Yes! So don’t get too close to me!
  • It’s in the water. Would you like a glass?
  • Yes and I know WHO causes it! God gave us these children!
  • Yes I do…cold winter nights…
  • LOVE! An overabundance of love!!
  • Yes,and as you only have two kids obviously you dont do it much.
  • Yes, and it is something I am very good at…
  • Of course, and the Lord has greatly blessed us!
  • A strong husband/wife relationship, big hearts, and the Lord’s blessing.
**Are you going to get fixed? **
  • Nope, I am not broken!
  • Why do you want to know?
  • Huh, we thought everything was working fine for us!?!
  • We didn’t know anything was broken.
  • Don’t you only fix things that aren’t working properly?
  • Well as you can see be the size of OUR family everything is in working order. :)(You have to say this last one with the kinda “I’m not to bright so your question seems kinda foolish don’t you think?” attitude.
**I can’t believe how you do it, I cannot even handle my two! **
  • Yes, if I had kids like you, I wouldn’t have any more either!
  • Yes, you don’t strike me as the type who could handle more kids than that.
  • I do it like most people, in bed and after the kids are sleeping.
  • I put knobs on the kids. Makes them easier to handle.
  • Everyone has 24 hours in a day, it is just how you use it…nt
  • With lots of patience, patience, patience
  • go and look at them while they’re sleeping. This reminds me of what sweet children of God they are and keeps me going!
  • Oh, I just do it. Wake up in the morning, do what you have to do all day, go to bed when it’s done. nt
  • Pick your battles carefully. It helps to have selective sight and hearing!
  • Don’t sweat the small stuff.
  • (this is a good one for chat rooms) Oh, straight jackets and handcuffs!
**Are you planning to have any more? **
  • I’ve been wondering about this and maybe you can explain it to me: I always thought you had to plan NOT to have more.
  • Before we were married we planned on having 2, but I didn’t know that my husband couldn’t count!
  • We didn’t plan the first six, I don’t think we’ll plan the next six, either
 
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1stFreedom:
“Stop imposing your morality on me!” (hehehe)
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😃 That one was hilarious!!! 😃

girls at my feminist school think I am **insane ** for wanting 12 kids!! (or at least 4!)
 
This thread has been hilarious!!! I often times feel like I have “Insult me” written across my forhead when we are all out together. I have been known to be very sassy at times, and my husband, well, his sense of humor gets 'em every time!!
What have you used or thought of using when someone says:

“So, you gonna have any more?” Sex? Yeah, probably lots of it, and we all know what that causes! 🙂 or Yeah, we figure this (pointing to the baby, which right now is our 7th) is our middle child

“You’re pregnant again?” (this one I use when I am HUGELY pregnant) No, why do you ask??

“Are you done now?” Well, I’m still Catholic, still married, and still madly in love with my husband, so, probably not! 🙂

“Don’t you know what causes that?” Ya know, no one has every really explained it to me, would you mind clueing me in??
 
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Edwin1961:
Has anyone here have more than twins? A Christian couple in Akron had 6 all at once.
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Not I–I have a set of twins, but we know a family in our parish who have triplets the same age as our middle son (I’m not sure if they’re identical, but they look like it–three girls).
 
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karisue:
I tell them, “Yeah: LOVE.”
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My dh says, "Yea, God."
I love all these responses! Great Thread!
**I have not laughed so hard in a long time!😃 **
To the comment on “are you pregnant?” I like, "yea, we had twins but I got tired of pushing."

Mum4four
 
Oh… I forgot one!
***Q. Are all of these yours?- ***
A. It only looks like more cause they are moving right now.
Mum
 
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aimekuelmc:
I’m so sorry you also went through the tears and disappointment.

So many times I have wished we could have more children.

We spent the first five years of our marriage hoping for a child. And after finally conceiving, we thought more might come. Unfortunately that is not to be.
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***I have to say that I struggled with our 4th because all my deliveries had been c-sections and I just was afraid. But God kept knocking and he used wonderful people like you to show me that it is a blessing to be able to have children. As I was struggling to let go and Trust him, I met more people who said to me things like, " I wish that I had your worry. I wish I could have another (or a child) child." So many people have regrets out there and it made me so thankful that God had blessed us with the ability to have children, that I couldn’t say no to him. Boom! One month later: Baby Katie was on the way! I know He was saying… “Bout time!”😉 ***
LOL
Mum
 
Sorry if someone’s already said this – don’t know if I read all! But I like this:

“Are they all yours?”
“No, I have three more at home.” 😉

Great thread!!
 
I read this and weep. After a terrible first pregnancy and terrible second pregnancy, hubby convinced me to have my tubes tied. During the next 12 years, I became a better Catholic, he converted and we both deeply regret that decision. We just can’t afford to fix it. 😦

Here is to big families. You are truly blessed.
 
From a single person (hopefully to be married someday with lots of kids)…

Hearing about all of the rude comments makes me wonder if I can somehow be a friendly voice of encouragement.

Can any of you advise me about how I can show support with a friendly comment to those with larger families?

I mean, saying something like “I think its great that you have a lot of kids” sounds so trite… I mean, big families should be more normal anyway.

Or should I just mind my own business?
 
Ham1 said:
I think many of us are always looking for good “comebacks”, responses, whatever.

What have you used or thought of using when someone says:

“So, you gonna have any more?”

“You’re pregnant again?”

“Are you done now?”

“Don’t you know what causes that?”

You get the idea.

Please post some of your favorite questions and responses. The wittier the better. 😃
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I just politely and sadly chuckle, get very quiet and look down like they’ve crushed my entire week… it works every time! 🙂
 
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