St. Monica pray for us! Praying for our husbands....

[Trishie]

St Monica, please intercede for all the wives who have posted on this thread. Please intercede for the conversion and healing of our husbands, as faithfully as you interceded for your husband and your son. Please grant the graces of happy marriage for all who have posted requests.

 

[Rammy]

Girls…my husband is up to his old tricks and not comming home, and this move is at a grinding hault now, as i hurt myself.

Amber was reading, and i was lying in bed watching a tv show. All of a sudden, amber was screaming for help. I jumped out of bed hearing this hideous cry from the cat, and could not imagine what it was.

Seems in her silly play they do nightly, both cats chase eachother for about 15 minutes and then go to bed. Rosie fell off the childrens dresser (the 3 drawer one thank God) and got her back leg caught in the drawer handle, and was hanging down onto the floor.

I could see, there was no way to help her but to lift her up and out of the foothold the handle had on her. I quickly grabbed her for-arms to lift her, and expected resistance, but lifted her quickly. She chomped down on the top of my pinky finger where the side of the hand meets the start of the finger.

Deep, deep latching on, like a mad racoon actually, she latched on and i screamed and kept going with lifting her in one swoop, she was lifted and freed, as well as kept going airborn. Man the 7 puncture wounds, as well as a whole bunch of back paw scratches on my forarm, i finally got it to stop bleeding.

i soaked it in peroxcide, and bandaged it up. This morning, i could not bend anything, and redness was going around the puncture marks. I dropped into Annas to pick up money she owed me, and she reminded me of tetnas shot…was i up to date. So i decided to go to the doctors. They said it is every 10 yrs, and i was at about 25 years. So i got a shot, cleaned it up, 500 mg anti-biotics, asked her for yeast infection meds, as i knew i’d need this, and was told of the warning signs of poisoning going up my arm…and keep a watch out.

So now i have it in a sling…Dr’s orders for circulation needed due to redness already there. I am at a hault for packing now… http://wf.siegmanservices.com/forums/Smileys/default/cry.gif I can grasp the mouse, type with the 1st and second finger, but the rest of my wrist is not moveable without excruciating pain (only with movement)If i do not move it, then it does not hurt! So i plan on not moving it…hehe

And it’s my right hand!!!

Now i am at a loss for how to continue packing…but must find a way somehow!

but not for today…too sore!

Lana

 

[mom4truth]

Lana,

Boy, was a stinky thing to have happened to you! What the heck is going on??? You’d better take care of yourself. Slow down, right now. Take a deep breath, and pray like all get-out!

I’m praying for you!

 

[Lamb_Serenade]

Lana,

Don’t overwhelm yourself sweetie! It’s really that simple. I know, it needs to be done but deal with it based on what you are ABLE to do right now.

I am a “Flybaby” (www.flylady.com) and she says “You can do anything for 15 minutes”. My suggestion is to take your packing in 15 minute chunks. Even if you only manage to get 10 things in a box, so be it. Then take a 15 minute break. Just move ahead in little tiny steps instead of the great big strides you were counting on. Even if you can only manage a small amount, that’s more than you would do if you sat down and gave up or tried to do too much and end up getting sick or causing more harm to your injury.

Put your scoundrel DH out of your head for now. He isn’t worth the worry and anger. Just remember, alcoholics are living alcohol. In other words, you aren’t talking or living or dealing with your husband. You are dealing with the beer, whiskey, vodka or whatever his choice of poison is.

I’m praying for your peace of mind, healing of injury and most of all for your family. I continue to pray for all of our addicted spouses, that they find the will to overcome their life ruining addictions.

 

[MonicaRose]

Lana, praying for your quick recovery!
Keep an eye on those wounds as cat inflicted injuries are so nasty!

 

[Rammy]

My spirits are up now, hubby feel so bad he is taking work off for the move…first time ever in 14 years, and this is our 6th move.

Hand is still red and tender, but throbbing has stopped. I love the flybaby info, have it on my desk top…thanks hun!

Looks like we will not need to rent a truck, as DH will be here for the long weekend. He will have to be gone for a few hours every morning to water the plants (we own a nursery of plants/trees/shrubs-our business) But the rest of the time is mine!

Now to keep him sober…i can deligate, i just can not lift. Bought 16 bins to do our personal stuff from dressers and closets. Bought another 6 bins for movies. Each bin holds 2 rows sideways in it…perfect. You see, i had no where to start, so this is better than boxes i can not lift when stacked.

So girls, your prayers are simply devine, and much appreciated!
I will keep you posted, and i will be praying for all the women and their husbands as well.

Lana

 

[Trishie]

St Monica, please intercede for all the wives who have posted on this thread. Please intercede for the conversion and healing of our husbands, as faithfully as you interceded for your husband and your son. Please grant the graces of happy marriage for all who have posted requests.

 

[mom4truth]

Ladies,

What do you tell yourselves when you don’t “feel” love from your husbands? I know mine loves me (at least I hope he does - not sure sometimes) but he doesn’t express it emotionally. I have to drag everything out of him and then, it doesn’t feel genuine because I’ve had to extract everything I need to hear from him! This is so draining and disappointing. Anyone have any suggestions or advice on this? St. Monica isn’t coming to my rescue!!!

Thanks ladies!

 

[Pixie_Dust]

Ladies,

What do you tell yourselves when you don’t “feel” love from your husbands? I know mine loves me (at least I hope he does - not sure sometimes) but he doesn’t express it emotionally. I have to drag everything out of him and then, it doesn’t feel genuine because I’ve had to extract everything I need to hear from him! This is so draining and disappointing. Anyone have any suggestions or advice on this? St. Monica isn’t coming to my rescue!!!

Thanks ladies!

:hug3:
First of all, remember that love is not a feeling, it is a choice. Jesus didn’t go to the cross because He felt like it, He went to the cross because He chose to redeem us.

Secondly, it sounds like your husband’s not speaking your “love language.” It’s disappointing for you because you’re setting yourself up to receive love in a certain way (You think: “Tell me I’m beautiful and that you love me!”) for him that he may not be aware of (He thinks: “I took out the garbage, isn’t that enough?”). Many men don’t understand the need women have for verbal affirmation. Though, there are men for whom verbal affirmation is, in fact, their love language! You know your husband loves you, and if you know/learn what his love language is, you can “speak” it to him and probably get more response from him in that way. Usually the love language we prefer is the one we “speak” towards others, and they may or may not perceive that as “love” if they’re “listening” for it in another language.

Hope that helps some!

 

[Belle10]

:hug3:
First of all, remember that love is not a feeling, it is a choice. Jesus didn’t go to the cross because He felt like it, He went to the cross because He chose to redeem us.

Secondly, it sounds like your husband’s not speaking your “love language.” It’s disappointing for you because you’re setting yourself up to receive love in a certain way (You think: “Tell me I’m beautiful and that you love me!”) for him that he may not be aware of (He thinks: “I took out the garbage, isn’t that enough?”). Many men don’t understand the need women have for verbal affirmation. Though, there are men for whom verbal affirmation is, in fact, their love language! You know your husband loves you, and if you know/learn what his love language is, you can “speak” it to him and probably get more response from him in that way. Usually the love language we prefer is the one we “speak” towards others, and they may or may not perceive that as “love” if they’re “listening” for it in another language.

Hope that helps some!

Great post. I’ve read that book, and it’s great. Now I just need DH to read it…

I’m still having a very rough time with working full-time, being away from DD, DH not having full-time work, and constant morning sickness.

Praying for all the marriages and families here. St. Monica, please help us!

:grouphug:

 

[Pixie_Dust]

Great post. I’ve read that book, and it’s great. Now I just need DH to read it…

I must confess I’ve not actually read the book but I’ve heard Dr. Chapman on the radio discussing love languages.

I’m still having a very rough time with working full-time, being away from DD, DH not having full-time work, and constant morning sickness.

You’re still feeling sick? You poor thing! :hug3: My mom had morning sickness the whole 9 months with all 3 of us, so I know it’s not unusual. I was so sick (not just in the morning) with my son that I had to get medication for it.

Praying for all of us!

 

[Belle10]

I must confess I’ve not actually read the book but I’ve heard Dr. Chapman on the radio discussing love languages.

You’re still feeling sick? You poor thing! :hug3: My mom had morning sickness the whole 9 months with all 3 of us, so I know it’s not unusual. I was so sick (not just in the morning) with my son that I had to get medication for it.

Praying for all of us!

Yup, still sick and on mediation for it, which helps. I had it the whole pregnancy with DD – in fact, I was throwing up when my water broke!

The book itself is very good – full of examples of real people Dr. Chapman helped. It really makes so much sense when you think about it…now, like I said, I have to get DH to read it, because our love languages are definitely different!!

 

[Pixie_Dust]

Yup, still sick and on mediation for it, which helps. I had it the whole pregnancy with DD – in fact, I was throwing up when my water broke!

I guess that’s one way to know when the throwing up will be over with!

The book itself is very good – full of examples of real people Dr. Chapman helped. It really makes so much sense when you think about it…now, like I said, I have to get DH to read it, because our love languages are definitely different!!

My dh is not really a reader, unfortunately. I may see if the library has it on CD. We’re going on a trip and we’ll need something to pass the time while we’re driving. The kids will just love it, I’m sure.

Oh! I just noticed you’re in upstate NY. We’re headed to Crown Point - heard of it?

 

[Belle10]

I guess that’s one way to know when the throwing up will be over with!

Great…only 161 days to go (based on due date)! As miserable as it is, it is TOTALLY WORTH IT for this little one!

My dh is not really a reader, unfortunately. I may see if the library has it on CD. We’re going on a trip and we’ll need something to pass the time while we’re driving. The kids will just love it, I’m sure.

Oh! I just noticed you’re in upstate NY. We’re headed to Crown Point - heard of it?

My DH is taking master’s classes, so he already has too much to read… maybe when his classes are over…

No, I’ve hadn’t heard of Crown Point, so I looked it up – the Adirondaks are great – have a great vacation! We’re more in Central New York.

 

[mom4truth]

Pixie Dust,

I know you’re right. But what the heck: why do we women always have to be the one to speak “their” language? Why can’t the men have a little empathy for us women? It seems like all I do is give, give, give. I know - that’s my role, that’s how God made me. But you know what? Once in awhile (maybe even once in 2 yrs.!) it would be nice if dh spoke MY language! Thanks for the advice!

Blessings,

 

[Pixie_Dust]

Pixie Dust,

I know you’re right. But what the heck: why do we women always have to be the one to speak “their” language? Why can’t the men have a little empathy for us women? It seems like all I do is give, give, give. I know - that’s my role, that’s how God made me. But you know what? Once in awhile (maybe even once in 2 yrs.!) it would be nice if dh spoke MY language! Thanks for the advice!

Blessings,

Honey, I’d be surprised if he’s even aware of what your love language is! Now, I’m not at all male-bashing, but it is a fact that men and women are wired differently, and being tuned into someone else’s feelings is not *typically *a male trait. (Generally speaking - there are always exceptions!!!) Think about what his love language is - do you sense him expressing love for you in his language? Yes, it would be nice if he spoke your language once in a while, but don’t miss receiving love in his language because you’re focusing on listening for yours.

Do you think he’d read the book? Or agree to read it with you?

 

[mom4truth]

Pixie,

He doesn’t have a love language. That’s the problem! I do think he’d read the book. I guess I’ll HAVE to get it, so that he gets it - if you know what I mean. What is a man’s love language anyway? It’s hard to tell with mine since he doesn’t show his love outwardly, except by providing for the family financially.

???

 

[Belle10]

Pixie,

He doesn’t have a love language. That’s the problem! I do think he’d read the book. I guess I’ll HAVE to get it, so that he gets it - if you know what I mean. What is a man’s love language anyway? It’s hard to tell with mine since he doesn’t show his love outwardly, except by providing for the family financially.

???

Hey M4T

According to the book, here are the five love languages:

Words of Affirmation
Quality Time
Receiving Gifts
Acts of Service
Physical Touch

Everybody has a love language, you just aren’t sure of his. Sounds to me like his providing for the family is his way to show he loves the family, so it would be acts of service. If your love language is words of affirmation (meaning that you need verbal reassurance to feel loved), then you two aren’t communicating in the same language, see?

I’m a combo of quality time and acts of service. (There’s a quiz at the end of the book to help both spouses figure out their respective languages.)

 

[mom4truth]

Belle:

Thanks for that! I’m definitely getting the book! I think I’m a combo of acts of touch & service and all the others! ha ha

 

[catholicmomof5]

Ladies,

What do you tell yourselves when you don’t “feel” love from your husbands? I know mine loves me (at least I hope he does - not sure sometimes) but he doesn’t express it emotionally. I have to drag everything out of him and then, it doesn’t feel genuine because I’ve had to extract everything I need to hear from him! This is so draining and disappointing. Anyone have any suggestions or advice on this? St. Monica isn’t coming to my rescue!!!

Thanks ladies!

I have found that when I need to be loved like this, I think of the romantic love God has for me in the flowers he sends me every spring, summer and fall. I think about Jesus as my lover and friend. I think that my husband can’t possibly love me the way Jesus does…my husband is just a man. My husband is wonderful, but just a man. When I really want to be loved romantically, I read the Song of Solomon. I cannot take credit for these ideas. My priest gave me the book Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman’s Soul to read as my penance in the confessional one day. I must have been complaining about problems with my husband. The book changed the way I looked at romantic love and my “need” to be loved in a specific way. This is not a by a Catholic writer, but it is very good. I cannot remember if there was anything particularly objectionable about it as it has been a few years since I read it. I do know my marriage is better today!