St. Monica pray for us! Praying for our husbands....

[Jennifer823]

Help…

I just found this thread, I’ve been on Catholic Answers before asking some questions and decided to look for something along these lines today.

To make a long story short… I’m entering the church this weekend (at the Easter Vigil). Three of my kids will be entering the church this year too, 15 y.o. daughter is being confirmed and having first communion next week and my two sons (13 and 11) are having first communion in May. My baby girl (2 yrs old) will be baptized sometime later. We are doing this alone. My husband will not join us. He seemed supportive at first, but lately he has been criticizing this decision. He has little “digs” that he gets in frequently about us embracing Catholicism. I think he is athiest, but he won’t talk about religion at all. I don’t know what to do, and as the time comes for me to join the church I have been feeling like maybe I’m not making the right decision because I’m creating strife in our marriage.

I told him that maybe he shouldn’t come to the Easter Vigil, because I feel like he’d just use it as “ammunition” against me later. He said I’m being silly and he wants to come. Does anyone have a similar story and can help?

I’m feeling torn about what to do. Should I just be quiet, be patient, and let God work on him, or should I be more vocal about my faith?

 

[Belle10]

Jennifer…

[SIGN]WELCOME HOME!![/SIGN]

This weekend will be a beautiful experience no matter what. You’ll actually receive Jesus physically and spiritually, and it will strengthen you beyond measure.

I’m so sorry you’re having trouble with your husband, but I absolutely know you are doing the right thing. Getting yourself and your children close to Jesus in the sacraments is wonderful – don’t second-guess it! I understand how difficult it can be when a husband doesn’t take part in one’s spiritual life, but you have to keep going. I’m sure deep down in your heart you know you are doing the right thing in bringing your children to the church (it is the most important responsibility you have as a parent – to bring your children to God and teach them His truth) and you just have to remain steadfast in your decision, even if it creates strife in your marriage.

If he wants to attend Easter vigil and experience it with you, I think that’s great. You never know what will spark his soul…so let him see how joyful you are at receiving the sacraments. Your example and prayers may be how he too comes to Jesus in the future. It can be a difficult road, but, we in this thread like to remember this quote:

“If I love you, I want heaven for you, and I’ll do anything I can to get you there.”

Pray for him (and your kids), pray some more, keep praying. Be a living example of Christ’s love each day. Don’t push, but don’t be silent either: just be yourself, living your faith.

PS - I would have your 2-year-old daughter baptized as soon as possible.

 

[Diana_Lynn]

WOW! What more can I say?
[SIGN]WELCOME HOME JENNIFER!! [/SIGN]

is right!
Each time I read this thread, a smile, a laugh, and a feeling of warmth and unity comes to me. No matter how difficult a time I’m having with my DH.

Praying The St. Monica Prayer gives me renewed hope and faith each day, as I think about what she endured, and how it worked out for her… Not only did her husband convert, but became a SAINT! no less!!!

The women here on this thread are amazing people Jennifer, truly warm and loving, and boy do they understand and give so much support through the trials you face, I sometimes wonder how I managed without them!

I am so happy for you and your children that you’re entering the church, and I pray that your 2 year old will be baptized as soon as is possible!

I am so sorry that your husband will not join you yet, perhaps his “digs” are coming from a feeling of being left out, or fear of being left behind. Please don’t let it dissuade you from your faith. It is your strength in your faith that will help to pursuade him to join when he is ready.

I agree with Belle, if he wants to come to the Easter Vigil, let him come, it could be the start of something grand!

As for a story… one was posted just a short while back, I’d like to share with you…

I wanted to offer all you ladies a story of hope. My mother in law is a devout cradle Catholic; she raised seven children in the Church, without the help of my father in law, who turned out (after the marriage) to be agnostic.

To be fair, he loves my MIL very, very much, but was impatient often with coming home and finding her saying the Rosary, while the dishes weren’t done! (No, he did not help with any housework–still doesn’t.) My husband, who is the sixth of the seven kids, remembers being told how once Dad took the spark plugs out of the car so that Mom couldn’t drive the kids and herself to Mass. She simply walked them there, a few miles probably.

Anyway, they had been married for at least 40 years by the time I met my now-husband. The same month we married, my father in law was received into the Catholic Church through RCIA–he was baptized, confirmed and communed on the same day! I remember holding my five year old niece, Megan, on my lap, standing up so she could peer over the heads in front and see Granddad get baptized. Then she turned to me and said, “Someday, EVERYbody will be baptized!”

My MIL, bless her, never lost hope that her husband would convert. I remember when we were getting the cake ready for the “baptism party” as the little kids called it, I turned to her and said, “Water on rock, right?” and she smiled and said, “Forty years of prayer, that’s right!”

So do not lose hope. If you are praying for your husband to receive Christ and the Church, it may take longer than you would like, but God works in His own time.

I sure hope that helps, Jennifer! May God Bless you and your family. You are all in my prayers.

 

[Diana_Lynn]

PRAYER TO ST. MONICA

Dear St. Monica,
troubled wife and mother,
many sorrows pierced your heart during your lifetime.
Yet, you never despaired or lost faith.
With confidence, persistence, and profound faith,
you prayed daily for the conversion
of your beloved husband, Patricius,
and your beloved son, Augustine;
your prayers were answered.
Grant me that same fortitude, patience,
and trust in the Lord.
Intercede for me, dear St. Monica,
that God may favorably hear my plea for:

the conversion of my husband and the strong faith of my children, the conversion of all sinners in my family, and all spouses being prayed for here by CAF members

and grant me the grace to accept His Will in all things,
through Jesus Christ, our Lord,
in the unity of the Holy Spirit,
one God, forever and ever.
Amen.

Lord, I commend all husbands and wives
represented in this thread to you this day,
That you would raise us up to be men and
women after your own heart.
That you would cause us to grow in wisdom and
in knowledge of you and that these husbands
become holy and spiritual heads of these homes,
and that these wives become and remain vessels
that shine your light continuously.
Keep us all obedient to your will and humble
in mind and action.
Amen.

 

[Diana_Lynn]

Praying for all you wonderful women. My situation has worsened over the last few days. (as if it could get any worse!)
I’m still praying for him.

:grouphug: Keep your chin up Jules! We’re praying for you! :grouphug:

 

[jules11]

Thank you so much Diana, Belle and Mom (and any others i didn’t mention)
I want to apologise for not commenting on others plight’s. I am sorry but this thing with my H is just so draining and all consuming. But I am praying for you all.
I did the wrong thing on Sun. I was (as I have been for 4 weeks) getting nasty txt messages from him. Sun I retaliated. As bad as that seems, it is the only thing that makes him stop and feel a bit of sorrow for what he is doing. So he can feel hurt the way he hurts me. Not good, I know. But he has started being civil now at least. He actually apologised for the first time! He blames me entirely for breaking up our marriage. He is angry as he has a 13yo son living with him that now has no contact with other kids, because he doesn’t see mine.
Despite how much he hurts me, I feel so incredibly sorry for him. His faith is not deep, although he goes to Mass on a Sunday. He has very few friends, no real ones and his family wouldn’t care a bit.I was really all he had.
I have taken a day off work today. (I explained why to my boss)
I am going to spend it trying to format a booklet of my favourite prayers. I like the idea of having just one book to pray from. I am going to put in some holy pictures and make it look lovely.
After these last 4 weeks, I needed a stress free day.
God bless you all and I will keep praying for you.

 

[Lamb_Serenade]

I’m feeling torn about what to do. Should I just be quiet, be patient, and let God work on him, or should I be more vocal about my faith?

I underlined, placed in bold italics and red this part of what you said because this is The Holy Spirit whispering in your ear! I was given the advice by a priest early in my marriage before my DH came back to the faith to simply be a silent example. Be a living example of what it is to be a good Catholic. He told me to politely invite him to go to mass with us periodically, but don’t nag and don’t give the sad, disappointed, hang dog look when he says no. Cheerfully say “Okay, we’ll see you afterwards around : o’clock when Mass is over”. If he says yes, don’t get all crazy rejoicing, simply tell him what time Mass starts and what time you plan on leaving the house. It will likely only be holidays when he agrees to go to church with you if at all.

[sign]WELCOME HOME!![/sign]

[sign]AMEN[/sign] :extrahappy::dancing::extrahappy:

What a wonderful joyous occasion Easter is going to be for you and your family. It will hold a brand new meaning to all of you each year when Easter rolls around.

If he wants to attend Easter vigil and experience it with you, I think that’s great. You never know what will spark his soul…so let him see how joyful you are at receiving the sacraments. Your example and prayers may be how he too comes to Jesus in the future. It can be a difficult road, but, we in this thread like to remember this quote:

“If I love you, I want heaven for you, and I’ll do anything I can to get you there.”

Pray for him (and your kids), pray some more, keep praying. Be a living example of Christ’s love each day. Don’t push, but don’t be silent either: just be yourself, living your faith.

It could just be, if he decides he wants to go with you he will see others rejoicing and being spiritual and somehow “different” after they are confirmed and receive Jesus for the first time in the Eucharist. When he sees it isn’t just you, that others are having this profound spiritual experience he may have a change of heart. Also, seeing his children having a the experience could be the key. So, I wouldn’t discourage him from attending. It could very well be a life changing experience for him.

*** BUT*** (yep, there’s a big fat hairy but here) I reiterate, if it isn’t and you have to fall back on what I said at the beginning of my post, don’t get all hang doggy about it. Rejoice in YOUR Salvation! Praise God from the highest mountain! Give HIM Glory for the gift you are receiving by becoming a Catholic and being able to receive Jesus in the Eucharist.

 

[BeeSweet]

**PRAYER TO ST. MONICA

Dear St. Monica,
troubled wife and mother,
many sorrows pierced your heart during your lifetime.
Yet, you never despaired or lost faith.
With confidence, persistence, and profound faith,
you prayed daily for the conversion
of your beloved husband, Patricius,
and your beloved son, Augustine;
your prayers were answered.
Grant me that same fortitude, patience,
and trust in the Lord.
Intercede for me, dear St. Monica,
that God may favorably hear my plea for

the conversion of my husband and the strong faith of my son, the conversion of all sinners in my family and of the spouses being prayed for here by CAF members,**

and grant me the grace to accept His Will in all things,
through Jesus Christ, our Lord,
in the unity of the Holy Spirit,
one God, forever and ever.

Amen.

Immaculate Heart of Mary, pray for us now and at the hour of our death.
Immaculate Heart of Mary, pray for us now and at the hour of our death.
Immaculate Heart of Mary, pray for us now and at the hour of our death.

 

[BeeSweet]

BeeSweet,
Please pray for me that I may be able to attending Mass. I am in so much pain from a severe migraine and I need Jesus. I need to prayer for dh. Thanks, BeeSweet - you are sweet! Praying for you, too!

Dear Lord Jesus, please grant Mom4Truth respite from her pain that she may come to you in the holy sacrifice of the mass. Please give her strength and bless her husband with the light of Your truth! Bless their marriage, grant them peace. Amen.

 

[mom4truth]

Thank you for your prayers, BeeSweet. I went to confession on Saturday, but was not able to “confess”. The line was too long and time ran out. Our priest had to say Mass. I was even at church early so I could get into Confession. Well, I’m making a private confession appt. tomorrow so I can receive Jesus Easter with a “clean soul”. Please pray that I make it to confession before Good Friday. God bless you and thank you again. You’re in my prayers.

 

[Diana_Lynn]

…I have taken a day off work today. (I explained why to my boss)
I am going to spend it trying to format a booklet of my favourite prayers. I like the idea of having just one book to pray from. I am going to put in some holy pictures and make it look lovely.
After these last 4 weeks, I needed a stress free day.

What an absolutely beautiful idea Jules! Might I offer the following, which I have begun to recite in song (in my head of course, since I can’t hold a tune to save my life) each morning, before I get out of bed. I think it’s quite fitting. And you may remember the tune…
:harp:

Prayer of St. Francis

Make me a channel of your peace,
Where there is hatred let me bring your love
Where there is injury your pardon Lord
And where there’s doubt true faith in you.

O Master grant that I may never seek
So much to be consoled as to console
to be understood as to understand
to be loved as to love with all my soul.

Make me a channel of your peace,
Where there’s despair in life let me bring hope
Where there is darkness, only light
And where there’s sadness, ever joy.

Make me a channel of your peace,
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned
In giving to all that we receive
And in dying that we’re born to eternal life

May God be with you Jules!

 

[Diana_Lynn]

PRAYER TO ST. MONICA

Dear St. Monica,
troubled wife and mother,
many sorrows pierced your heart during your lifetime.
Yet, you never despaired or lost faith.
With confidence, persistence, and profound faith,
you prayed daily for the conversion
of your beloved husband, Patricius,
and your beloved son, Augustine;
your prayers were answered.
Grant me that same fortitude, patience,
and trust in the Lord.
Intercede for me, dear St. Monica,
that God may favorably hear my plea for:

the conversion of my husband and the strong faith of my children, the conversion of all sinners in my family and of the spouses being prayed for here by CAF members,

and grant me the grace to accept His Will in all things,
through Jesus Christ, our Lord,
in the unity of the Holy Spirit,
one God, forever and ever.
Amen.

Lord, I commend all husbands and wives
represented in this thread to you this day,
That you would raise us up to be men and women after your own heart.
That you would cause us to grow in wisdom and in knowledge of you
and that these husbands become holy and spiritual heads of these homes,
and that these wives become and remain vessels that shine your light continuously.
Keep us all obedient to your will and humble in mind and action.
Amen.

 

[Belle10]

Novena, day 8:

PRAYER TO ST. MONICA

Dear St. Monica,
troubled wife and mother,
many sorrows pierced your heart during your lifetime.
Yet, you never despaired or lost faith.
With confidence, persistence, and profound faith,
you prayed daily for the conversion
of your beloved husband, Patricius,
and your beloved son, Augustine;
your prayers were answered.
Grant me that same fortitude, patience,
and trust in the Lord.
Intercede for me, dear St. Monica,
that God may favorably hear my plea for:

the conversion of my husband, the strong faith of our daughter,
the perpetual sobriety of my father and my parents’ marriage,
and for all the marriages represented in this thread

and grant me the grace to accept His Will in all things,
through Jesus Christ, our Lord,
in the unity of the Holy Spirit,
one God, forever and ever.
Amen.

Lord, I commend all husbands and wives
represented in this thread to you this day,
That you would raise us up to be men and
women after your own heart.
That you would cause us to grow in wisdom and
in knowledge of you and that these husbands
become holy and spiritual heads of these homes,
and that these wives become and remain vessels
that shine your light continuously.
Keep us all obedient to your will and humble
in mind and action.
Amen.

 

[Belle10]

I want to apologise for not commenting on others plight’s. I am sorry but this thing with my H is just so draining and all consuming. But I am praying for you all.

I have taken a day off work today. (I explained why to my boss)
I am going to spend it trying to format a booklet of my favourite prayers. I like the idea of having just one book to pray from. I am going to put in some holy pictures and make it look lovely.
After these last 4 weeks, I needed a stress free day.
God bless you all and I will keep praying for you.

Jules, we all do the best we can. We know you’re praying for us, even if you don’t specifically address each person, so don’t worry. Thank you for your prayers! :hug1:

Your stress-free day sounds wonderful! Let us know how your book turns out (pictures maybe?)…I think I need to make one too, since I have slips of paper everywhere with different prayers that I love!

Be a living example of what it is to be a good Catholic. He told me to politely invite him to go to mass with us periodically, but don’t nag and don’t give the sad, disappointed, hang dog look when he says no. Cheerfully say “Okay, we’ll see you afterwards around : o’clock when Mass is over”. If he says yes, don’t get all crazy rejoicing, simply tell him what time Mass starts and what time you plan on leaving the house. It will likely only be holidays when he agrees to go to church with you if at all.

This is what I do, and DH does go on holidays (Christmas and Easter usually, I’m hoping he’ll go to Living Stations of the Cross on Good Friday and Mass on Divine Mercy Sunday, we’ll see). I figure at least he’s there a few times and have to rejoice in that for now.

What an absolutely beautiful idea Jules! Might I offer the following, which I have begun to recite in song (in my head of course, since I can’t hold a tune to save my life) each morning, before I get out of bed. I think it’s quite fitting. And you may remember the tune…
:harp:

Prayer of St. Francis

Make me a channel of your peace,
Where there is hatred let me bring your love
Where there is injury your pardon Lord
And where there’s doubt true faith in you.

O Master grant that I may never seek
So much to be consoled as to console
to be understood as to understand
to be loved as to love with all my soul.

Make me a channel of your peace,
Where there’s despair in life let me bring hope
Where there is darkness, only light
And where there’s sadness, ever joy.

Make me a channel of your peace,
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned
In giving to all that we receive
And in dying that we’re born to eternal life

May God be with you Jules!

:harp: Love that song! (And I’m sure your voice is beautiful – I know it definitely is to God!)

 

[Jennifer823]

Thank you, Belle10, DianaLynn and LambSerenade for replying to my post. I get discouraged and I know I need patience. I will continue to pray.

Now to go back and star reading the 71 pages of this thread!

Thanks for your encouragement.

Jennifer

 

[mom4truth]

Ladies:
It appears that dh will not be with the kids and me during Easter. He said he is going to be with his “family” (out of state) where he can get pampered because I do not do that for him due to my illnesses. I am very hurt and angry! He wants to take the kids but they do not want to go with him. Long story. So, please pray that my kids and I will still have a pleasant Easter and focus on Christ’s Resurrection and not dh. Prayers out to all of you ladies also! God bless.

 

[BeeSweet]

**PRAYER TO ST. MONICA

Dear St. Monica,
troubled wife and mother,
many sorrows pierced your heart during your lifetime.
Yet, you never despaired or lost faith.
With confidence, persistence, and profound faith,
you prayed daily for the conversion
of your beloved husband, Patricius,
and your beloved son, Augustine;
your prayers were answered.
Grant me that same fortitude, patience,
and trust in the Lord.
Intercede for me, dear St. Monica,
that God may favorably hear my plea for

the conversion of my husband and the strong faith of my son, the conversion of all sinners in my family and of the spouses being prayed for here by CAF members,**

and grant me the grace to accept His Will in all things,
through Jesus Christ, our Lord,
in the unity of the Holy Spirit,
one God, forever and ever.

Amen.

Immaculate Heart of Mary, pray for us now and at the hour of our death.
Immaculate Heart of Mary, pray for us now and at the hour of our death.
Immaculate Heart of Mary, pray for us now and at the hour of our death.

 

[Belle10]

Ladies:
It appears that dh will not be with the kids and me during Easter. He said he is going to be with his “family” (out of state) where he can get pampered because I do not do that for him due to my illnesses. I am very hurt and angry! He wants to take the kids but they do not want to go with him. Long story. So, please pray that my kids and I will still have a pleasant Easter and focus on Christ’s Resurrection and not dh. Prayers out to all of you ladies also! God bless.

mom, so sorry that you’re being treated that way! :crying:
At the risk of sounding too happy, I’m glad the kids want to stay with you. Offering a prayer that Easter will be glorious and peaceful for your family.

 

[Pixie_Dust]

I am only on day 8 of the first novena. I’ll never catch up to you guys!
I have been praying it a couple of times a day. My husband has been very nasty. He sends me horrible messages and I am just trying to pray for him every time I get one and I don’t answer. It’s a real stab in the heart and I think it’s best to combat evil with prayer.
Please pray I stay strong and not end up retaliating. God has been so good to me. I feel at peace and I am generally happy. Thank goodness, the children need a mother who is together. They have endured so much.
I am praying that God will soften his heart and for his healing and conversion. He goes to Mass each week (different one to me) but I do not think that he takes any of it into his daily life. He is so mean to me and the children. I feel so hated by him.

Next time you get a nasty email from him just reply with, “I love you and I’m praying for you.” I think the Bible calls that “heaping coals on their head” or something like that.

 

[eli1118]

Novena day 7 (couldn’t post yesterday)

My husband is wearing a cross and saints medal. I think this is a good sign we are on our way. Thank you Saint Monica.

:grouphug: A big hug to all my friends on this thread. I look forward to having some time to read about how things are going in your lives.

I am wearing my Saint Monica medal (which I got blessed on Sunday).